Read All About It

"So put it in all of the papers, I'm not afraid…they can read all about it." Emelie Sande

Alone. Completely and devastatingly alone. I knew he would leave me, I had known it all along. It wasn't the loss of him that made my heart hurt this way. It was the loss of a family and the interwoven strings that connected us. They had all become my own, they had left an imprint that I could never wash away, no matter what Edward promised. Ashes, his promises were nothing but paper that had burst into flame. He had murdered my hopes and replaced them with his sick version of reality.

"Bella…"

I heard my name being whispered, maybe I was delusional. Curled into a fetal position, I didn't care about moving. Starting to drift, something touched my face. Cold. I wasn't alone. Opening my eyes was painful, like trying wrench something open that was better left shut.

The sun was fading, turning day into night. Yellow and gold, a pale light in the darkness. His eyes were on fire, his hair like a halo, Jasper.

"Wha…what are you doing here?" I croaked.

"I stayed."

"Why?" I feared what he would say next.

"It's done Bella. I…told Alice about my…feelings…for you."

"Oh my god…" my worst fears were realized. All those looks, all those sly, soft touches. I knew there was something between us. I knew I wasn't crazy. Had Edward known?

"He knew," he said softly, as if reading my thoughts.

"But…you tried to attack me!" I tried to reason with my own sanity.

"No, Bella. Edward was losing control…I was trying to get to you before…"

"No!"

"I'm sorry," he said, turning his back to me, the sun going down in the distance.

Could it be true? Some part of me that I refused to recognize knew that it was. All of this was for something, but what? To break my heart? To tear apart all that was sacred?

"How can this be Jasper? Alice loves you, you love her…" not to mention Edward. I loved him, not the kind of love that you read about in fairy-tales, but the kind of love that is enough. The kind of love that holds you but never feels warm.

"We grew apart…decades ago. This, what I feel…for you, it's real."

Months later

Days passed like waves, some better than others. Jasper never left. It was rumored around town that the Cullen's departure was due to a sickness in the family. I should have laughed at that theory but I couldn't, it was all too close to home for me. Was I the sickness that had torn them apart? Everyday Jasper would convince me otherwise. I wanted to refuse his attentions, but I didn't. We would meet at the Cullen's abandoned house sometimes. Other day's he would be waiting for me in my room. We had created a kind of normalcy between us. Until yesterday.

Flashback

"How was your day?" Jasper asked, handing me my favorite ice cream.

"Fine," my response was automatic as I opened the small container of cookie dough.

"I'm not ever going to leave you," he whispered, shocking me. We hadn't discussed anything overly serious in months. It was like we were friends, kind of.

His eyes were an intense gold as he leaned towards me, his lips softly touching mine. He licked the ice-cream that had dripped down my chin. I jerked in reaction, but he held me close, taking my hand in his. His sweet breath made my heart pulse out of my chest. I had never felt this way when Edward kissed me. Jasper made me feel like I was cherished, like I was something spectacular in his eyes.

"Don't doubt this. Stop feeling guilty for what we have, Bella. What's between us…it's natural," his words made me quicken.

We sat on his bed for hours, simply staring into each other's eyes. He made the missing pieces fall into place. It was surreal.

End Flashback

Today Jasper insisted that we go out-of-town to have dinner. He said he wanted to go somewhere that we could be seen together yet be ourselves. I wore a lavender dress that he had gifted me. I wore no make-up, Jasper liked that. He told me that make-up wasn't necessary for someone who was already too beautiful. The man was deranged. I had noticed that he wasn't afraid to act on his impulses like Edward had been. Jasper didn't like sharing me with others, and he made no qualms about it. He voiced his thoughts and opinions very loudly, never hiding his feelings from me. It was scary and thrilling all at once. Edward had been a calming force, where jasper made me feel like I wasn't a porcelain doll to be broken. Make no mistake, he treated me with special care, but he let me feel what I wanted to feel. Jasper never stifled my emotions.

"You're thinking about him again," Jasper's voice startled me, he was perched on my window sill dressed in black.

"I wish you would call before magically appearing in my room, it makes me nervous," I scolded him.

"Avoidance will earn you nothing when it comes to me, Bella. I know you inside and out, there's no need for pretense with me," his eyes locked with mine and refused to let go.

I stood there, transfixed as he slowly walked towards me, twisting me so that he held me from behind, my back against his chest. He moved me forward until we stood in front of my dark-oak dresser mirror. Our eyes touched through our reflections, his right hand coming up to trace my jaw line. Jasper leaned into me, lightly sniffing my hair, his hard body shuddering against mine. His lips grazed my ear, his eyes turned downcast, as he brought both of his arms around my torso, holding me close, his fingers splaying across either side of my hips. His scent took over my senses as he nuzzled me with his mouth and chin, causing everything inside of me to come alive. Minutes seemed like seconds as time sped up according to my adrenaline. My pelvis ached with wanting him while my heart played music to the beat of desire.

He turned me towards him, our noses touching as he told me against my lips, "I can give you all of the things you want."

For the first time in my life I knew what I wanted. I wanted all of the pieces that connected us and everything else in between. I wanted a life that wasn't ordinary or predictable. I wanted him.