This came to me, like, forever ago. I think I've literally been working on this for three years, but it's been sitting collecting virtual dust for most of that... I dunno. Anyways, you can probably tell when the writing style changes because I left it for so long and then finally picked it up again only after I was older and wiser and knew more about grammar and writing and stuff.
Now, onward!
Disclaimer: I will never own the rights to PJO... *Goes and cries in a corner with unfinished geography homework, pretending to make progress*
Annabeth muttered darkly to herself as she knocked on the door to Percy's cabin for the third time. Once again, no response.
He'd said he would meet her in the Arena for sparring practice, but he'd never shown. She'd waited for half an hour -years in ADHD time- before going looking for him. She had come first here, then gone to the beach, back to the training arena, his cabin again, the Big House, the climbing wall, the stables, and finally the Poseidon cabin for the third time. She couldn't figure out where else he could be. He seemed to have simply vanished.
Finally, her not-quite-as-infinite-as-she-liked-to-think-it-was patience ran out. She opened the door, fully prepared to yell at the idiot Seaweed Brain until he crawled to the Big House in shame, but froze when she realized that it was dark in the cabin. Percy was nowhere to be seen. It was silent but for the sound of her own breathing.
She turned to leave, but something stopped her. Something was... off. She couldn't tell what it was, but something was wrong. She held her breath, listening intently to try to identify the problem. Then she heard it.
It was just a little sound, nothing big or noticeable unless you we're paying close attention, but it was significant. A little sniffle, like someone was crying. But Percy wasn't there, and even if he was, he didn't cry. He pretended to sometimes, like when they needed to get enough money to fly to New York after their first quest, but he almost never actually cried. It just wasn't the kind of thing he did. He was too strong for that.
Annabeth followed the sound, trying to find the source. Finally, she came to the corner with the desk she had made him get so he could work on summer homework without putting holes through the pages or getting a crick in his neck because he was using his bed. It was easily tall enough that someone could hide under it if they wanted to. She took a deep breath and knelt down to look underneath. She was so surprised by what she saw that she almost had to do a double-take. when she finally registered that yes, that is actually happening, right here in front of your eyes no less, she didn't know whether she should laugh, cry, or just sit there and stare.
Percy was curled up into as little a ball as a gangly fifteen-year-old boy can get, wrapped in a fuzzy Finding Nemo blanket that looked like it had been around for longer than its time. He was rocking back and forth facing the wall and whispering to himself, with the occasional sniffle added in. She couldn't make out what he was saying, but she knew the signs and got the basic picture. Percy was in the middle of a Panic Attack, Nervous Breakdown, or possibly even both at the same time. They had been a major problem for her when she was younger, and had turned the common names into full blown titles, going as far as capitalizing them on an essay she had written for school on Fight or Flight reactions.
She sighed. So he was half human like the rest of them. It was honestly kind of a relief to know that he had weaknesses like this. He seemed to go through danger, disaster, and life threatening situations without any of the usual side effects- like, say, emotional trauma. It had made some of the older campers, who had seen many a half-blood break down seemingly randomly and start hyperventilating because they were thinking too much about their first encounter with a monster, wonder if Sally Jackson wasn't some minor goddess in disguise who had decided the time was right for a new god to take the stage. Seeing that he had moments of weakness was somewhat gratifying, even if it did hurt a little that he hid them from her and Grover.
She reached out and touched his shoulder. He jumped and turned to look at her. His sea green eyes we're rimmed with red as tears leaked from the corners. He took a moment to recognize her before hastily dropping the corner of blanket that had been clenched in his fist and wiping his arm across his face to get rid of the tears, turning away from her again.
"Annabeth. Wh-what do you want? Did you need something?" His voice was slightly hoarse and he sounded like his nose was stuffed up. She couldn't help but feel somewhat guilty as she wondered how long he had been curled up here, crying alone while she was storming through camp ready to strangle him.
"Idiot Seaweed Brain, have you been here this whole time?" she said, trying not to allow the hurt she felt show in her voice. Couldn't he trust her enough to let her see him cry? It wasn't like it was a bad thing. She wouldn't think any the worse of him for it. Didn't he know that?
He tensed and curled up again. "Dunno what you're talking about," he muttered half heartedly, turning further away from her.
"Don't give me that. What's going on? Are you okay? Is something wrong?"
" 'M fine." he said as he shrunk further into himself and hunched his shoulders.
"No, you're not!" She said, grabbing his shoulder and turning him to face her. She looked him in the eyes and refused to let him drop his gaze. "Something's wrong, and I want to know what it is. I want to help you, Percy! I'm your friend! If something's bothering you, you can always come to me. Always. Now what's going on?"
He stared at her for a moment with wide, watery eyes, looking for all the world like a five year old afraid of being punished. Finally a sob broke from his throat and he allowed himself to cry openly in front of her. She scooted further under the desk and wrapped her arms around him, letting him sob into her shoulder. She didn't know how long they sat there like that, but it didn't matter. She would stay here with him for as long as it took for him to calm down. Finally, his sobs deteriorated into sniffles and then to silence. She pulled him up so he was looking at her again and pushed the wet hair out of his eyes. "Now, can you tell me what's wrong?"
He was silent for a few moments before finally bursting out, "I- I can't do it!"
"Can't do what?" She asked, although she was fairly certain she already knew.
"Th-the choice, or the war, or-or any of it! I- I just don't know how I can possibly do anything! I can try to help, I can learn to fight, to defend, whatever, but I can't do everything! Th-they all w-want me to d-do more, but there's on-nly s-so much a guy can d-do! I- I can't-" He broke off, tears leaking once more from his red, abused eyes. His breath was hitching every other word, and he looked so lost, more so than she had ever seen him.
And it broke her heart.
"Hey, hey, sh, sh, sh, just breathe, okay? I need you to breathe for me, okay Percy? That's it, big, deep breaths, that's right..." she kept muttering to him, not paying attention to what she was saying, having an internal argument with herself- He needs to calm down and get over himself- But this is something serious!- But he's supposed to be stronger than this- But he's only demigod! Even the gods must have moments of uber-pressurized stress release like this!- No, they couldn't; they're gods, they're too strong to throw temper tantrums!- But Percy isn't!
And that was the core of the matter.
He wasn't.
Annabeth suddenly realized that Percy, her best friend- the one who defeated Ares when they were twelve, travelled to the Sea of Monsters to rescue Grover when they were thirteen, saved her from the weight of the sky and travelled the labyrinth when they were fourteen- this same boy (because that's all he really was, a boy, a child, just like her when this all began)- loyal, brave, unyielding Percy- was only half god. Just like the rest of them. And while he had helped remove the weight of the world from her shoulders some time ago, he was still carrying it on his, along with everyone's expectations. He never had a chance.
And she- supposed to be his best friend, his right hand woman, his right hand if necessary- had added to that burden carelessly, telling him she had faith in him and he would make the right choice and idly participating in the hero worship that put him quite unwillingly on everyone else's high horse while he was trailing behind his own, stumbling and trying desperately not to fall when no one was looking.
And now, as she held him under his desk in the dark cabin, wrapped in the aged blanket and wordlessly pouring his heart out to her, all she could think was, Wow, I'm such a jerk.
She was brought out of her reverie of revelations as Percy began to calm down and pulled slightly away from her, rubbing his eyes and letting his hair fall over his face and obscure both it and his shame from her.
There was an awkward silence as he got control of his voice again, his breath still occasionally hitching as he tried to calm down the rest of the way.
Finally, Percy was the one to break it.
"S'ry…" he grunted, still trying to regain the function of speech. He cleared his throat and tried again, "Sor-"
"Perseus Jackson, if you try to apologize for crying the way most of us have expected you to every time you returned from a quest, I might just slap you."
He blinked at her.
"Now, if you apologize for hiding in here and trying not to involve Grover and me, I might forgive you, but don't you dare go being sorry for being under pressure." She stared firmly into his still shining eyes, putting the force of her conviction behind every word. "I didn't understand before- I still don't, not completely- but I do understand at least a bit better now.
"It's hard to be you. You carry all our convictions and belief, and it weighs you down. You have the pressure of the world's existence on your shoulders. It's hard enough without us pressuring you even more.
"But you know what? You're going to get through it. I know that sounds like I'm just trying to add more kindling to the fire, but let me explain: you've gone through a lot. You've gotten through a lot. It's been hard before. It's looked like you weren't going to make it before. But do you remember what you did?"
He was still staring at her with those wide eyes, stunned by her outburst. She took it as a sign to continue.
"You didn't just push through it- you did it better than most of us could dream of. And you can do it again."
She pulled him back to her as he finally seemed to get the message, and she held him as he slowly drifted off, exhausted by his crying session.
"You can do it again. I know you can," she said again, leaning back against the wall, also feeling exhausted. "After all, you were strong enough to let me be here, just this one time..."
