A/N: So, I took the idea of the 10 drabbles written out of 10 shuffled songs on my computer and connected them into one (hopefully) cohesive story. They are all supposed to be connected like episodes in a TV show, so keep the previous ones in mind when reading the next one—there should be a progression of the Tiva relationship (hence the name!). The idea is that these are snapshots of their lives with some obvious gaps in between. I sincerely hope this makes sense; I've been working on it for a while now!
Also, make sure to read the song lyrics included—the drabbles are based off those lines only and should, hopefully, round each one out.
Oh! Begins with the end of Season Six and continues through present day, slightly AU.
Disclaimer: I own nothing! All the songs belong to their respective artists/songwriters and obviously I own none of NCIS except my own plotline.
Progression
I. Make This Go On Forever - Snow Patrol
I can only give you everything I've got
I can't be as sorry as you think I should
But I still love you more than anyone else could
All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight
Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right
As the plane took off, he fought the urge to rip the straps from his body that kept him from running to her, raw and pleading. He barely heard himself speak meager words to Gibbs as he boarded the plane and strapped himself in, surprised the words left his throat around the lump that had taken up residence there. The tears stung his eyes like needles as he thought that he may deserve this--her leaving him because of her loyalty to men who didn't love her nearly enough.
In that moment, despite all the problems it had caused him thus far, he vowed to never stop loving her too much.
--
II. Say Goodbye - Skillet
Don't say goodbye
'cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight
'cause maybe it's not the end for you and I
For months after her departure, one thought tortured him more than others: I never got the chance to say goodbye. Maybe, if he had, she would see in his eyes how much he loved her--how much he couldn't live without her.
But sitting across from her, dehydrated and dizzy, he was glad he never had that chance. Maybe if he had said goodbye, she would have remained in Israel anyway--but he would never have raced around the globe seeking closure. Seeking the chance to tell her how much he loved her.
Instead, he settled for telling her how much he couldn't live without her.
--
III. Boats & Birds - Gregory and the Hawk
If you be my boat
I'll be your sea
A depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity
Ebbing and flowing and pushed by a breeze
I live to make you free
When they left the camp in Somalia, they made their way to the nearest port village and boarded a small freighter that Agent Dunham had made available for them. As soon as the boat had drifted out to sea, Ziva had gotten violently ill. She disappeared just before dinner that evening; Tony had found her in the small bathroom, dry-heaving desperately into the toilet.
He reached over and rubbed slow circles into her back. She looked up at him, broken and hopeless. He took her into his arms, stroked her hair, and listened as she began to sob into his dirty shirt. His heart broke for her.
"I hate the ocean," she said lamely.
"Then let me be your sea."
--
IV. Saints and Sailors - Dashboard Confessional
A walking open wound
A trophy display of bruises
And I don't believe that I'm getting any better
Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
And I'm thinking awful things
And I'm pretty sure that few would notice
Her facade in front of the others was infallible and they all gave her the space they thought she needed. But he was different; he saw the pain hiding behind her eyes. He pushed when everyone urged him to retreat.
It was no surprise, then, that he was the one to find her that night. He had gone to her apartment after hearing her voicemail pickup after his fifth call. He entered to find her curled up on her bed, barely conscious, her fist partially concealing the bottle of pain relievers.
"Don't tell Gibbs," were the only words she spoke to him after he had dialed the ambulance. He nodded, grabbing her hand tightly as the tears rolled down his face.
--
V. My Skin - Natalie Merchant
The darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
I need this
He locked the women's bathroom door behind him--just in case--and knocked quietly on the stall door. She slid the lock from its place and he gingerly took a step in. She hugged her legs toward her chest loosely and stared at her clasped hands.
"I just need to...sit here for awhile," she offered slowly, quietly. He settled onto the floor across from her, stretched out his long legs, and placed his hand atop hers. He didn't say a word, just sat there and held her hand sweetly as she wrestled with her demons, bringing her back from the edge if ever she went too far.
--
VI. Sleepless - Kate Havnevik
It's another world
When the moon is high
And the walking keeps
Me breathing
Sleepless
I shouldn't be here
It stunned her how such a quiet knock had roused him from his sleep. Her knuckles had just barely grazed the wood when he had answered, wiping the sleep from his eyes--she wasn't entirely sure she should be there at two in the morning. But he answered in record time, as though he could feel her presence at his doorstep even in his sleep. Without a word, he tangled her fingers in his, pulled her inside gently, and locked the door behind her.
She followed him to the bedroom where she lay down, snuggled safely in his arms. Her body curved to fit his own, her ear resting on his chest where she could hear his heartbeat. He kissed her temple sweetly before falling back to sleep without a word. She, too, fell asleep a few minutes later, content that nightmares could not reach her in his arms.
--
VII. One Line - PJ Harvey
I'm watching from the wall
As in the streets we fight
This world all gone to war
All I need is you tonight
And I draw a line to your heart today:
'To your heart from mine,
A line to keep us safe'
Ziva had insisted that their relationship remain a secret. After all she had lost in the preceding months, she couldn't stand to lose any more. The potential costs were too high and they were too happy. She insisted that this was the only way to keep their relationship safe--to keep them together for the long term. She drew a line--professional and personal.
So, in the office, they fought constantly. They threw verbal punches that everyone tried desperately to sidestep. Everyone questioned how to pick up the pieces of their seemingly broken friendship without realizing that each dirty look and biting word was barely concealed passion.
--
VIII. You Are The Moon - The Hush Sound
The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe
He heard her shouting angrily in Hebrew from the other room as he flipped the eggs on the stovetop. He turned off the burner and walked toward her as she entered the living room. He leaned forward on the back of the couch as she whipped around to face him, her eyes murderous and pained.
"I am never having a family. Never," she said, her voice breaking as she wiped away tears. "It is nothing but pain."
"Your father?" he asked, knowing the answer before the words left his mouth. He saw her nod and couldn't help but swallow the pang of sadness he felt at the implication of her words: Never.
Her horrid father, troubled brother, deceased sister--a family so torn and imperfect--were the only notions she could comprehend.
"There's more than one kind of family, Zi," he offered before turning back to the kitchen. She took a calming breath and smiled slightly before joining him.
--
IX. Crooked Teeth - Death Cab for Cutie
You're so cute when you're slurring your speech
But they're closing the bar and they want us to leave
"I love you an' I don't tell you 'nough." Tony's eyes lifted to hers, pure and honest with a hint of sadness. The others had long gone and the bar was nearing closing time, so she had spent the better part of the last ten minutes trying to convince him to leave.
She shook her head and played along, "You tell me every day, Tony. Twice."
His face screwed up in refusal as he slapped his palm down on the table, "But I should tell you every...second! I need you to know how much I...love you."
His insistence was certainly cute, albeit strange. She chalked it up to alcohol and made a mental note to never let him goad her into matching shots. Her tolerance was far superior--not that he would ever admit it--and his stubbornness would never allow him to be bested.
"We can fix this, you know. You can always," she paused suggestively, "show me..."
He stumbled out of the booth in his haste, lust overtaking his features as he grabbed her hand. She stopped him, looking straight into his eyes as she gave his hand a squeeze, and whispered, "Tony...I already know."
--
X. Be Your Husband - Jeff Buckley
Be your husband if you'll be my wife
Love and honor you for the rest of your life
If you promise me that I'll be your man
"You're a dangerous woman," he said finally, lust dripping from his voice as he stared right into her eyes. She broke his cocky glare with a pointed remark about Dunham. She tested his intent and stared back appraisingly. His shoulders tightened and she knew she had him--she saw it in his expression: he was unnerved at the thought of losing her again. She chided him further, just because she could, before she settled on seriousness. If he wanted the assurance, she would give him assurance--she would make her intentions clear.
"He's a field agent, a nomad. I've had enough of that in my life. I came to NCIS to settle down; to make a home for myself. The last thing I need is a Chad Dunham." She looked at him the way she always did when she told him something insightful: eyes softened, head tilted in satisfaction, body leaned into his. He visibly relaxed as he considered her statement.
Some day soon, he was going to marry this woman--because he loved her and she was his.
--
The End.
A/N: I hope you like it! Please, please, please let me know what you think! I know it's a bit strange, but hopefully it made sense and fit together.
Also, it's the holidays and reviews would be the best presents ever!
