This is a little late for Christmas, but oh well. Hope you enjoy! And...disclaimer, etc.
Letters to Santa
Age seven:
Dear Santa,
My father says that you don't really exist, but my mother says that I can write to you for as long as I want because you are the coolest wizard-ninja ever! I can't say that I was a good boy this year, because, after all, I'm a Malfoy so I don't really have to be good. But I didn't do anything really, really bad because then Father would curse me.
Either way, I have enclosed a list of things that I want for Christmas this year. Don't feel obligated to get me everything, but Father says that Malfoys receive at least 93% of anything that they ask for.
1) I would really like a medieval sword. Father hired me a fencing instructor, but I don't like using foils because it's so dull with no danger.
2) Money is always nice to get, preferably in galleons as I am saving up to buy myself a new racing broom.
3) A good thoroughbred jumping horse would be nice. I know that usually it's little, bratty girls that want ponies, so that's why I'm not asking for a pony. Unless, of course, it's a polo pony.
So I'd say that two of those, if not all three, would be a fair deal for me. You can leave my gifts in the parlor, except the horse, which you can put in the front hall. Don't worry if the animal makes a mess, the house-elves can clean it up.
Draco Malfoy
Dear Santa,
How are you and Mrs. Claus? How are the reindeers and the elves? Thank you very much for bringing me the adorable stuffed reindeer last year on top of the princess nutcracker I asked for. This year, I have a few options for you to choose from. I don't mind which option you choose, so just do whatever is most convenient for you.
I would really like a box set of The Chronicles of Narnia series. I read the first book from the library, and I would like to read the rest of them. Or, if that is too much trouble, I would really like an atlas and a world almanac, such as the Scholastic World Almanac for Students. I have been writing poetry lately as well, and maybe I will write you a thank you poem for next year. That being said, I could really use a rhyming dictionary.
Thank you in advance, I'll leave you sugar-less cookies and milk on the kitchen table as usual. Love,
Hermione Granger
Age eight:
Dear Santa,
My Father says that he can't believe that I'm writing to you again this year. However, my mother told him that it was okay to continue at least until I go to Hogwarts. That's in only three years, and Father says that Slytherin is going to be a much better house when I get there and make the Quidditch team.
The polo pony you brought last year was a little too slow, old chap, so Father made me sell him and he bought me a brand new racing broom. If you want to replace the old nag with a real horse this year, I'll give you one more chance.
I am still waiting for a good Goblin-wrought sword. The sword Aunt Bellatrix gave me last year was lousy and broke after only about a month. Father was most seriously displeased with the quality of the gift she gave to her favorite nephew.
Also this year, I would like some new dress robes. The ones my mother bought me are atrocious, they are thick velvet and really uncomfortable, so a new set of lighter weight robes would be nice. Of course, they have to be black, preferably lined in emerald green silk. You can find my sizes on record at Madam Malkin's if you don't know off the top of your head.
My mother and I want a puppy, but Father says that is silly because there's too much time and responsibility involved with such a gift. Still, if you dare go against my Father's wishes to get the puppy, I chocolate lab or golden retriever would be nice. But it must be house trained.
If you run out of other ideas, money is always an option, though, naturally, it's not necessary. It's not like I'm some poor little blood-traitor or something.
Draco Malfoy
Dear Santa,
Thank you so much for all the books you brought me last year! The rhyming dictionary, almanac, and atlas, on top of the entire box series was entirely too generous! This year I convinced my mother to allow me to make you chocolate chip cookies, and I baked them myself so I hope you like them! I will leave them in a box and you can bring the extras home to Mrs. Claus. I will also leave an assortment of grains and carrots for the reindeer.
I have been baking quite a bit lately, and so this year I would like a recipe book for baking. Just please make sure that none of the recipes are too bad for your teeth since both my parents are dentists. If you insist on spoiling me with generosity, I am always open to whatever books you think an extremely intelligent eight year old girl would like.
Sir, I know you can't perform miracles, but there are a few other girls at school who have recently started being rather unkind to me. They tug my braids and break the points off my pencils in class. Could you try and make them stop, please? I would really appreciate it.
Thank you, love always,
Hermione Granger
Age nine:
Dear Santa,
Did you forget to come last year? I think you must have because I couldn't find anything spectacular from you at all. This year I haven't been a very good boy. Father had to curse me three times for being rambunctious, and Mother locked me in my bedroom for not being polite when I escorted Pansy to the New Year's Eve Ball. Still, I have enclosed a list of ideas for you to deliver this Christmas:
1) A new broom.
2) A potions experiment kit.
3) My very own owl.
I have given up on other animals, they are not worth the trouble. However, owls are very economical because they deliver your mail, find their own food, etc. Father says that if I get an owl on my own or for Christmas, I can name it whatever I want. I am thinking of the name Salazar.
As for the new broom, Father has been putting a lot of pressure on me because he says that in my Quidditch condition I'm not going to make it onto the Slytherin team. He will be very disappointed, so I need to practice for an extra two hours each day. I thought that might be more fun if I had a better broom.
My godfather, Severus Snape, is the potions master at Hogwarts, and he says that I have potential to be a great potions student. But to make sure that I am ahead of the curve and can show off in his class, he says that he is going to start giving me lessons starting in February. If I'm going to be a potions protégée like my Father and Snape want, I'm going to need a potions kit and ingredients. Do not worry about the cauldron being one that is okay to bring to Hogwarts, I'll buy a new one. Right now, I just want a cauldron that looks cool.
Draco Malfoy
Dear Santa,
Thank you, thank you, thank you! The cook book and ingredient basket was wonderful, and the book Just Ella was a very good read. I recommended it to a few people, but they just laughed at me. The girls who were making fun of me last year haven't stopped yet. In fact, it's gotten even worse. There are now about a dozen girls and three or four boys who make fun of me routinely. I don't like speaking ill of them, but they aren't very nice. If you could help them to stop, or help me to ignore them better, that would be a Christmas miracle. Some of the kids at school say that you don't really exist, but I said that you do.
Oh, before I forget, I found an author over the summer by the name of L. Frank Baum. He's the one who wrote The Wizard of Oz but there are actually dozens of books in the Oz series. I don't need all of the books, but I would appreciate getting a few more, because they are rather expensive and the library doesn't have more than three or four of them.
Thank you, and love,
Hermione Granger
Age ten:
Dear Santa,
As this is the last year my Father is allowing me to write to you, I should like to request that you be extra generous with me because of our long, friendly history. The owl is very obedient, an ideal pet for delivering mail, and I will be sending this letter with him. This Christmas my mother is making me escort Pansy to the Zabini's annual Christmas party. I am not pleased, because Pansy is a pug-faced brat. So if you could deliver my present a little early, that'd be nice. I'd really like for there to be someone at the party to distract Pansy so that I can escape her and take off with Blaise and Theo. Blaise has a wicked Quidditch pitch behind his manor, and he said that we could race the brooms he got for his birthday.
If the distraction isn't really applicable, you could always consider getting me some new books. I know that this is an abnormal request, but I have started reading quite a bit. It is, shall we say, an escape from my mother and Father. I taught myself Greek, Latin, and German, so if you could deliver a set of the classics in their original languages, I would enjoy translating them. It may sound stupid, but I assure you that it is really rather entertaining.
That last paragraph, please don't share with anyone. I am supposed to be the spoiled Malfoy child, the one who is so rich he doesn't have to be smart. However, I am smart, and I enjoy being smart, sarcastic, and witty. I really love being who I am, but I don't want it to get out that there's more to me than Quidditch and money.
Draco Malfoy
Dear Santa,
The entire series? Thank you so much! You are entirely too wonderful! Unfortunately, I must report that there are even more skeptics at school this year. So many people have given up on you, and it hurts me to think of you being abandoned. I am also somewhat abandoned. My one good friend moved to Scotland, unfortunately, and now everyone in my entire class makes fun of me.
I'd ask you to stop them from calling me names and taking my books away from me and generally being mean to me, but I have basically given up. I can live with being made fun of for a while longer, and next year I move to a bigger school, so I'm sure there will be another book-worm for me to befriend. One of the reasons people don't like me is because I am too quiet and geeky. I'm not going to change myself to be accepted by society, but I would like some cooler clothes.
A pair of fitted jeans, a few non-turtlenecks, and a pair of bright colored sneakers—I am convinced—would do wonders for my confidence. If you don't want to get me such a transient, replaceable gift as clothes, another option is a pet.
I have always wanted a pet, Santa Claus. I really like cats, I want one that I can hug and love and call my own. My parents are not sure if I can handle the responsibility, but I think I can. I just wish I could be loved by someone who is not forced to love me. But if you do get me a pet, remember to not get me a dog, because, of course, my daddy is allergic to dogs.
Love,
Hermione Granger
Age eleven:
Santa,
I know I said that last year was going to be the last time I wrote to you. However, Father is away on business, so I decided to give it one more go because what he doesn't know doesn't hurt me. I got sorted into Slytherin, and guess who else is at Hogwarts—Harry bloody Potter! He's a prat, and his sidekick the Weasel is a git, and they are friends with lots of mudbloods and blood-traitors and all sorts of scum.
This Christmas, as usual, I have to go to lots of parties. But that's okay, because I've accepted that there's no way that in my societal sphere I can escape the drone of high society meetings and events. It's one of those things we superior Malfoys must deal with! Now, moving on to the gifts, I would like very much to get a new broom—the Nimbus 2000! Even though I'm not on the Slytherin Quidditch team until next year, I am going to need a good broom. Pothead made the team this year, the first time that a first year has made the team in over a century. If not a new broom, I would like some of that color-changing ink, a few new quills, and possibly some reading material—remember that it should be in an ancient/romance language, preferably one that is no longer spoken. Right now I am learning how to read and write Egyptian hieroglyphics. I think I would like to try my hand at translating the Rosetta stone.
Oh, before I close, I really want an invisibility cloak! Wouldn't that be so cool? And I could get Potty, Weasel, and the Mudblood in lots of trouble. Snape is a very good ally to have, I have decided. Right now Slytherin is in the lead for House Cup points.
Draco Malfoy
Dear Santa,
Guess what? I'm a witch! I'm now attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! There's a really foul git named Draco Malfoy, but that's okay, he doesn't matter right now. I would like an autographed copy of the book Hogwarts: A History. That is, I think, my new favorite book. Also, I think that I should read up on Quidditch, so if you have any reading material on the sport and could drop that off, it would be much appreciated. Right now I'm reading anything I can find on the magical world, so really any books would be great.
Oh, and I read in one of the books I found in the library that you are a wizard! That is so interesting, but it really explains so much! Well, I have to go now, because we were assigned a Transfiguration essay that is due on the last day before break which is only two weeks away. So, goodbye, Love,
Hermione Granger
Age twelve:
Santa,
Tell no one that I am writing to you, Father would punish me severely and call me weak, immature, etc. Mother might not care so much, but she is not going to step in and protect me from Father. The Chamber of Secrets has been reopened, and attacks have already been attempted.
I would like for Christmas to know who the Heir of Slytherin is. I know that my classmates think it is me, but it really isn't. So I am most curious about who is doing this. If you cannot tell me who it is, then I would like to know more about the last time the Chamber was opened. If there is any information floating around about that, please drop it off in my dormitory room on Christmas.
If that is not applicable, I could use refills for my potions kit or a new cloak fastener.
Draco Malfoy
Dear Santa,
The Chamber of Secrets has been opened. I have been trying to figure out who the Heir is, and I have also been attempting to differentiate the facts from the myths. If there is any reading material on Salazar Slytherin, the Chamber of Secrets, or the last time the Chamber was opened, I would really like to have a chance to look over the information.
I could also use some extra writing supplies, dear Santa Claus. I am almost out of ink, and my quill is badly bent. I am also still looking for a pet, hopefully a cat. Cats are allowed at Hogwarts, did you know? Well, I should like a cat very much, but there is time to get a pet later while the Chamber is an urgent issue.
Thank you very much for all your help, love,
Hermione Granger
Age thirteen:
Santa,
I really must stop writing to you like this, it's absolutely barbaric. Father would be most seriously displeased. However, I am loathe to abandon you to a bunch of muggles and blood-traitors. I was viciously attacked by a hippogriff, but never fear, my father is taking care of the brute.
I need you to get Pansy Parkington to lay off. She has been following me around like a lost puppy, and I am likely to curse or hex her if she doesn't stop it soon. If you could get her to like silly old Nott or something, I'd be much obliged. If not, getting the oaf Hagrid fired would be a nice present.
If you're on the bandwagon of holiday cheer, I want sugar quills, Droobles, and licorice wands. Hot cocoa is good this time of year, with marshmallows. Holiday cookies and cakes, too. Oh, and a bag of tricks and gadgets so I can play gags on Pothead and the Weasel. Although I suppose the easiest way to annoy them would just be to pick on the mudblood.
Draco Malfoy
Dear Santa,
How are you and Mrs. Claus? How are the reindeer and the elves? Thank you for all the books you brought last year, although I didn't have time to read them all before I was petrified. Luckily, I had figured it out and Harry and Ron managed to solve all the riddles.
I need you to please bring me a delivery of books on magical law, especially on cases of animal violence. I need to defend poor Buckbeak the hippogriff against almost certain death, so I need all the help I can get. I know that you love animals, so I hope you will help me out of this. Oh, and I found the most wonderful cat in Diagon Alley before school started this year, his name is Crookshanks and he's part Kneazle. Could you bring him a catnip mouse or some kitty treats for Christmas?
Harry, I know, doesn't believe in you anymore. However, I know that he is very upset about his broomstick having been broken in a match earlier this autumn. Could you bring him a broom? I don't know which ones are best, so I will leave it up to your discretion, if—of course—it's not too much trouble. But if you do give him a broom, let me know so that I won't have to worry about the broom being jinxed, all right?
Thank you in advanced, Love,
Hermione Granger
Age fourteen:
Santa,
I cannot believe that I am writing to you again, this is absurd. However, I would like to inform you that my owl got into a disagreement with a dragon, and I now need a new owl. So if I could get a new owl, this time with black feathers, bonehead, that'd be great.
Also there's a Yule Ball coming up, and I have dress robes, but I need a black button down shirt to wear underneath. On top of that, I have to take Pansy Parkington, so if you could make her even somewhat nice looking for even just that one day, that'd be good, too.
Wow, I feel so stupid writing to you like a little kid. Anyhow, do that for me and I'll never tell firsties that you don't exist ever again.
Draco Malfoy
Dear Santa,
That git, Draco Malfoy, keeps telling first years and second years that you don't exist! I try to convince them otherwise, but they're scared of him. This year, I just want Harry to make it through the tournament safely, please! I am so scared for him, and now Ron is mad at me because I am going to the Yule Ball with Viktor Krum.
Speaking of the Yule Ball, if there is some of your Christmas magic left over after you protect Harry, I need some dress robes to wear, and I need a bottle of Slickeasy's to help manage my hair, and some shoes. I hope you support my efforts in the Society for the Protection of Elfish Welfare, because I know that you are quite a humanitarian.
Thank you for all your help, and love,
Hermione Granger
Age fifteen:
Santa,
Apparently I really can't break the tradition of writing to you, no matter how imbecilic I feel about the stupid tradition. The toad Umbridge is trying to get us to track down the club Potty and his friends have started. So basically, I need that invisibility cloak more than ever, as well as some darkness powder, some tracking devices, and some assorted spy gear. Also, I would like some light Latin reading.
Goyle and Crabbe are being stupendously annoying, so could you shove some candy down their throats before you leave the dormitory Christmas morning?
Oh, and I would like you to please help me understand my feelings. I am not very good at this sort of thing, and my feelings about a girl are pretty confusing. How do you tell when you fancy someone that you know you don't like? But I don't really expect help with that.
Draco Malfoy
Dear Santa,
How are you and yours? My mother has a slight cold, and I am stressed over O.W.L.s, but that's all behind me for now during the holiday season. This year, and I really hate to feel like I'm begging, but I need writing supplies, a historical synopsis of the Goblin rebellions throughout history, reading material on dark torture and communication devices, plus help against Umbridge. She's terrorizing poor Harry and the entire student populous and she must be stopped.
Right now, though, we're at the Order HQ. Harry's pleased, of course, but it doesn't really matter, I suppose, as long as no one dies this year. I would like you to please, please, help Ron and I. Work some Christmas magic. You see, Ron fancies me and keeps beating around the bush. I'm willing to go on a date with him, but I'm losing patience and I don't really like him that way.
So anyhow, I know I'm asking a lot this year, but I thank you anyways and send you my love,
Hermione Granger
Age sixteen:
Santa,
Father will kill me if he finds out that I've written to you, but you are my only hope right now. I need help, I'm trapped in a terrible situation: my Father forced me to get the dark mark. Now I have been assigned to kill Dumbledore, but I don't want to. I don't support the Dark Lord or any of his followers or anything they stand for. There is, however, no escape. I have to do this, and it's causing me distress.
So for Christmas, I would like a miracle: I would like the War to end and Potty to win. I don't think this should really be too much for me to ask, because after all I am a Malfoy and nothing is too good for a Malfoy. There is another reason I want the Dark Lord to lose, if you remember last year, I have discovered that I fancy that terrible muggle-born Hermione Granger. Father will kill me for that, too, but I am willing to die now.
So I guess that's it, really. I just want to live my happily ever after. With Granger. A scary thought.
Draco Malfoy
Dear Santa,
Harry is so obsessed with whatever Draco Malfoy is up to. If it is possible, just let Harry discover Draco's secret so that he can finally relax; he's suffered so much. Also, Ron still hasn't asked me out, so if you could get him to bugger off and forget about dating me at all, that'd be great because I am beyond my silly little crush on him.
For me this Christmas, I don't really care what I get. I'd like my parents to stay safe, of course, and I could use a nice muggle novel to take my mind off of the war for a little while, if that's not too much trouble. I know that I'm sort of pushy, but there's so much going on right now and I just need it all to stop so I can finally catch my breath.
Thank you, love,
Hermione Granger
Age seventeen:
Santa,
The war's over. Thank you for helping me with that and allowing me to escape from all the pressure that the Dark Lord placed on my family. I mean, my Father died and my mother's insane in Azkaban, but that doesn't even matter to me anymore.
I am Head Boy and… I am in love with Hermione Granger. I think I'm going to tell her on Christmas, so if you could help me out with that, that'd be really great. I am so nervous, I've never liked someone as much as I like her. She's a mystery but she and I have sort of become friends through working together. I hope Weasel doesn't ask her out.
If you could deliver a really nice gift for me to give her for Christmas… She seems the type of person to write to you, so you'll probably know exactly what type of jewelry she's into. I need some serious holiday help here, Santa Claus.
Draco Malfoy
Dear Santa,
The war is over and everything is at peace. Harry is finally living the childhood he never got, and he's going through a crazy phase where he's dating anything in a skirt. Ron asked me out and I turned him down, and now he's dating Luna Lovegood. My parents are okay, though still mad at me for sending them to Australia with their minds erased.
Besides N.E.W.T.s and Head Girl duties, I really have no problems. Except for one. I am in love with Draco Malfoy—the one man guaranteed to never look at me that way. He is so wonderful, and we've actually become pretty good friends. So as you can see, I need your help finding a gift for him. If you want to get me a gift, a really beautiful but casual outfit to wear on Christmas would be nice. That way he will see me in the Head Common room and I will be irresistible.
Thanks and love,
Hermione Granger
Age eighteen:
Santa,
This year has been the best year of my life. Hermione is the one for me, I know this by now. I think that I should like to marry her, and have begun searching for just the right ring, although I know I will probably not propose for a while yet. After all, I am very well established in the world, and she is the smartest witch of our generation, so we're rolling in the money, but she just found her dream job and I've just started my law firm, so there's a lot to do before we're ready to settle down and have kids.
I do have one problem, dear old boy. I was trying to get a reservation to a really nice restaurant for New Year's Eve but they're booked. I need help, because Hermione mentioned that she's always wanted to go there for dinner. Please, please help me make this season the most perfect of all times for Hermione.
Draco Malfoy
Dear Santa,
I am so unbelievably happy. This year is perfectly wonderful, and I have never been more in love with Draco. He's perfect, and I know that he's the one I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with. So, I guess, what I really want this Christmas is for Draco to propose to me. For him to love me so much that he wants to spend his life with me and let me mother his children. I think that would make my life absolutely complete.
So I guess I that's what I want, but Draco and I are going to a Christmas party, and in public I always feel nervous that I'm too plain for him to truly be happy with me. I, therefore, always dress to impress when we're going out together. So if you could find me the perfect dress to make me look stunning for Christmas, I'd be indebted to you forever.
Love,
Hermione Granger
Age nineteen:
Santa,
Wedding plans have been taking up a lot of time since I finally proposed in June. However, I have also never been happier. We're getting married on Christmas Eve, isn't that romantic? I don't need anything for Christmas, and I have everything I want. I guess I just don't want Hermione to leave me at the altar or anything. She's going to look glorious, and then we're going on our honeymoon.
It's going to be my first time ever, despite my reputation, and I really don't want to let her down. I don't want her to get hurt, either. I've never been so nervous. So I guess I just need some moral support.
Draco Malfoy
Dear Santa,
We're getting married on Christmas Eve! I am so excited, but also nervous. This is going to be perfect, but I still feel a little guilty that I'm marrying someone so perfect when I'm so…not. So I guess I just need you to help me calm my nerves. Also, our honeymoon I'm really nervous about. So please just help me through this in blissful happiness.
I have to go work on flower arrangements with Ginny, so thanks again, and love,
Hermione Granger
Age twenty:
Dear Santa,
How are you and yours? We have never been more wonderful. I have everything I need or want. Did Draco Malfoy really just admit that? We are blissfully happy as our first anniversary rolls around. However, I still feel like I want more. I think I want a baby. Now he admits it. I've been trying to get him to admit it for months, dear Santa Claus. Not right away, of course, because I don't want to share her with anyone else yet. Draco Malfoy, that is the sweetest thing you've ever written! Still, don't you think that would be wonderful?
I know that we are going to live our happily ever after. Thank you for everything that you've done for us, because I know that without you Hermione's and mine relationship might have turned out very different.
Love and thanks,
Draco Malfoy and Hermione Malfoy, of course.
