To those of you who are reading untitled, I don't think ill be updating anytime soon. Im going through a rough time, and I cant really write happy stuff when I feel like this. This is something I thought about a couple minutes ago, I was writing chapter 13´s first chapter… and I just felt like calling up my best friend to talk to her. But shes in france so I had to settle for an email. And this is pretty much the first part of the email.. only its translated to English.

I feel empty, and you know what? It sucks. Right this moment, I hate my life. I'm not suicidal or anything. I just feel I've got no one. No one to trust. No one to talk to. No one to spend time with talking about music, or even just wasting time.

I've always been kind of a loner. But you know that already. You've known me my whole life, but somewhere along the line I stopped living life. I just went through the motions.

Wake up, wash your teeth, get changed, have breakfast, go to work. Have lunch, wash your teeth again, go back to work. Drive home, eat dinner, take a shower, wash your teeth, go to sleep.

And through this monotonous routine I lost my friends, my family, the people I cared about. Those that mattered.

Nate, who was always there to help me work through my problems, and keep me from doing anything irrational is no longer here. I don't even remember the last time we talked. I just know it wasn't very nice.

Jason drifted off too. Suddenly, I wasn't as much fun to hang out with. He used to come over once or twice a month, instead of everyday like the old times, until a few months ago. Then he just stopped. He gave up on me too.

Caitlin wasn't much of a surprise really. I always knew the day would come when she'd stop being there for me. It was like, from the beginning I knew she was only there because of Mitchie, and that eventually, she'd get tired and leave.

But it was this morning that I realized how fucked up things really were. It was when I opened the thick envelope, with Mitchie's lawyer's papers.

Divorce.

Had I really come this far? How did I end up so alone?

I'm Shane freakin' Gray. This things just don't happen to me. Everyone loves me. everyone wants to be me.

But under the perfect life façade my life wasn't fairy tale material. I was all alone in the world, with no one to comfort me, to tell me everything was going to be alright. And then I understood what it meant. When I was completely honest to myself, I finally understood what it was all about.

"it is sad when people you know

become people you knew

when you can walk right past someone

like they were never a big part of your life

how you used to be able to talk for hours

and how now you can barely even look at them

its sad how times c h a n g e"

I guess you were right from he begging, fame did get to me. And I ended up screwing everything up. Look at me now; I'm all alone, surrounded by a sea of people.