*The Author crawls out of a pile of "classic" books and unsharpened pencils* I'm not dead! Look at my not deadness! Isn't it a miracle? All I see is miracles.

So, yeah, it's been nearly a month or something since I last updated my primary project, The Cult of Steve. I'm really, really sorry about that. What with homework, personal issues, and a general writer's block type thing, the next chapter for that story probably won't be out for a while. Sorry.

Also, to all of my very wonderful readers out there in fanfiction land; I am truly, deeply sorry for my outburst in the author's note for the Cult of Steve chapter. I was just so frustrated at not having feedback that I took it out on everyone, which was wrong. It's not your fault, none of yours, and I doubt that you need some anonymous author yelling at you about nothing to add to the stress to your life. I guess I just wanted validation, but knowing that people are actually reading my stories should really be more than enough. I'm really sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I was slapped by a cat over the summer. She was a sweet, fluffy-wuffy main coon, and I just put my face right up to hers and cooed and awed, and then she smacked my glasses clean off. It took me ten seconds to find them under the table. So yeah. Hope that cheers you up.

On to the subject of this story. This was a side project that I've had for quite a while now, a couple years, so it's been through the works. This is a novel adaption of the manga adaption of the game Four Swords, which is owned by Nintendo. I'm an avid LoZ manga reader, but Four Swords has always just been the best to me. I love the round character depth of every single Link, the jokes are hilarious, and the art and story are just great, even if there is a lot of deus ex machina going on sometimes, probably due to the limited amount of pages. So this novel, which I hope can be a fair substitute to the actual manga, will be sarcastic, adventurous, and full of fluffy romance. Because I'm a sucker for the stuff. So shoosh. Normally, I will try to never ever do this, but since I'm stuck on when to force myself back into the cult series, I'll use what free time I can to edit the chapters to this fanfiction that I've had written in the most part and post them, so that you have something to entertain you for a while. To give myself some time, I'll try to make the updates for this story once a week or so, considering there are only twelve chapters plus my bonus ending. This is also an attempt to broaden my audience and get more views. I'm an evil sneak. Shoosh…

Now for trigger warnings and disclaimers. There will be ships, including and limited to Green heart Zelda, Red heart Blue, and Fem!Violet heart Shadow. Just shoosh… your answers will come, in time. Also, the title will be explained in chapter three, so don't worry. Just to be clear; THIS IS NOT AN INSERT FICTION. THE AUTHOR WILL BE MAKING NO PHYSICAL APPEARANCES IN THE STORY. DO NOT PANIC. Okay, good. I'll see you at the bottom of the page.

Disclaimer: I do not own Legend of Zelda Four Swords game or manga. They belong to their respective creators.

Trigger Warnings: Contains fighting, violence, romance, boy x boy, and lack of seriousness.


Five Swords

Chapter One: Four Links

Hyrule Castle Town. It was known for its bustling streets of traders and locals, for the sturdy homes and shops that lined the mile long streets, and for the jewel at the center; Hyrule Castle.

What many did not know of, though, was how still and steadily the lights in the street lamps were at night, and how moon beams sifted through the trees and tickled the necks of the sleeping. Castle Town was just as wondrous at night as it was in the day. Except for when bandits show up like they eventually always do.

"It's Jago's gang!" The shopkeeper screamed as boxes and pots were smashed. "Somebody! Help us!"

"Go on, lads," said Jago to his two grunts. Jago and his men stomped loudly around the shop which was a two story house right on the street in front of a streetlamp. They apparently had thought it was a brilliant idea to rob a store in the same vicinity as the royal army. "Take what you like! I love this fine town. We should come here more often."

Jago picked up a large wooden crate and shook it. The shopkeeper's daughter grabbed his arm, crying, "Stop! You can't take that!"

Jago sneered down at the young woman before sliding his arm around her waist. "I like you, pretty one!" he said.

The girl screamed as a window above their heads shattered. A boot booted itself on Jago's face and slammed his head into the floor.

"Run while you can, lady!" Her rescuer, a boy dressed in green, said.

Jago quickly recovered from his blow and unsheathed his sword, his two men glowering at the boy before them. "You're dead, kid," Jago snarled. "Get him, lads!" The three men charged the boy, and the shopkeeper's daughter, certain the blonde would be stabbed to death, covered her eyes. After a few seconds of hearing swords clanging, there was silence. She slowly peeked through her fingers. The three robbers were lying on the ground. The boy was holding a sheathed royal sword in his left hand. "You…" Jago groaned on the floor. "You're Link, the left handed hero! But," his strength left him. "You're just a kid…"

Link sauntered out of the shop as curious crowds began to stir and examine the wreckage. He was swaying his hips as if he were walking away from an explosion without looking back when several royal knights on horseback clattered to a stop by the shopkeeper. At their lead was the first knight of the Hyrulean knights. "We are here," he proclaimed, "and ready to-"

"Too late!" The crowd said in unison. "It's all over now!"

"What." The first knight looked down the road after Link. Him again? He thought. "Stop, Link!" Link slowed his pace. "You're a Hyrulean knight. We're supposed to work as a team. Our unison is our strength. How many times do I have to tell you that you mustn't act on your own?" Link looked back at his captain lazily.

"If I had waited for you guys, the bandits would have gotten away," he began to sashay down an alley as if there was a broom stick tied to his back. "Besides, I work better by myself. Toodles!" He turned a corner and was quickly out of sight.

"Um, sir," a soldier behind the first knight said, "your son—"

"—is skilled, but he's just so arrogant and stubborn!" the first knight moaned. The night had continued uneventfully, and it was now late morning after first breakfast. The first knight was wringing his hands in desperation in the throne room in the second highest tower of the white bricked castle. "What are we to do, your Highness? He doesn't pay attention to any one, not even me, his captain and his father!" he ran his hands through his hair darker blonde hair. "You're the only one he listens to. Won't you please help me, Princess Zelda?"

Princess Zelda was reclined easily on her throne, her golden hair spiraling over her shoulders. Her blue eyes shone kindly. "Do not worry, captain," she said. "Your son is a lot like you. In time, he will become a fine prince—knight." She corrected herself. "He will become a fine knight."

"Thank you for your kind words, my lady." The first knight bowed. "I take my leave now." He hurried out of the room.

Zelda watched him go quietly as his footsteps faded from the red carpet and onto the white stone in the hall. "Okay, he's gone. You can come out now," she said aloud.

Link peered out from behind one of the gauze curtains curtaining her throne. "Thanks, princess," he said. His grin slid into a frown. "Sheesh, no matter what I do, he never stops nagging me. 'Do this.' 'Don't do that.' I got the bandits!" He looked at Zelda. "That's the important thing, right?"

"Well, yes…" Zelda said slowly. "But he is the captain of the guard. Can't you at least try to do what he tells you? Do you see how many gray hairs you're giving him? At this rate, he'll never let you…" she faltered and Link looked at her.

"What, become the first knight in his stead?" he filled in.

"Yes. That." Zelda said. "That's what I was going to say. Of course."

"Well, I'll try, anyway," he said with a roll of his blue eyes. "Anyway, look!" Link produced a small pink flower from inside of his green hat. "I got you this in town today."

Zelda rose quickly to accept it, pink and purple skirts ruffling like feathers. "How beautiful!" she gasped, giving Link a quick kiss on the cheek. "Is it wildflower season already?" Link blushed.

"Yeah, we used to play in the flowers all day long when we were kids. But now you're too busy to go out anymore."

"That's true," Zelda said, holding the flower close to her cheek. "But when you bring the flowers to me, I can see the entirety of Hyrule. And us on our wedding day…"

"We are ready, your Highness."

"Hrn?" Zelda looked up from her day dream at the six women dressed in the colors of the rainbow behind Link. "Oh, yes, thank you, Handmaidens. Let's go to the chapel." Zelda stood, tucked the flower into her dress collar, and gestured to Link. "Come, Link," she said. "Watch as we check on the seal of the Four Sword."

"The seal?" Link asked as the group walked up to the castle's tallest tower. "Why now…?"

The chapel had a rounded roof and a hexagon stone pattern on the floor. The handmaidens stood at five of the points and clasped their hands in front of their faces. Link stood behind Zelda, who stood at the sixth point of the pattern. "I had a vision of evil," she explained. "There's a large black cloud approaching Hyrule. Perhaps he is returning."

Link gasped, "It can't be! That demon was slain years ago!"

"Do you know the story well?" Zelda asked.

Link nodded. "Long ago, the evil wind mage Vaati cast a pall of darkness over Hyrule, kidnapping maidens wherever he went. A single hero appeared to save said maidens. When he drew his sword, the hero split into four, and together they sealed Vaati and his demons beneath a stone seal with the sword, which we call the Four Sword."

Zelda hummed in agreement. "The seal sits in plain sight at an easily accessible temple in Hyrule, though it's really just an ivy covered wall in a field. Pretty much anyone could take the sword out and release Vaati and his demons, but no one is dumb enough to do that when just finding a different weapon is still a viable option, considering that no solid connection has been made between a demon appearing out of a seal and the release of Vaati himself."

"Huh?" said Link.

Zelda folded her hands together. "I fear something may be wrong at the Four Sword Sanctuary. We cannot allow Vaati to escape!" The pattern began to glow as the maidens and the princess focused their energy to thoughts of good and peace.

Link gripped his sword uneasily. Could that demon really come back? He asked himself. Well… just let him try. I'll smack him down so hard he'll wish he was back in the ground. The sword quivered with anticipation.

The Blue maiden's hands suddenly flew to her sides. The Yellow maiden looked over at her. "Blue maiden, what's wrong?" she asked. No sooner had her question left her mouth that the Orange maiden grabbed at her own throat in surprise. The Green maiden doubled over. "Princess Zelda!" All six of the maidens cried, as they disappeared in a flash of light.

Zelda stumbled backwards. "The maidens!" she cried. "They've vanished!" Link drew his sword. The light that stole the maidens began to fade and sizzle, becoming a black fire that popped and crackled.

"A demon!" Zelda whispered frantically in Link's ear. The fire slowly took the shape of thirteen year old boy dressed in black with blue eyes and dark hair. He held a sword in one hand and a shield in his other, one that looked just like the shield Link owned…

"Who do think you are?!" Link demanded of it.

The demon acknowledged him with a slight softened expression of amusement gone wrong. "I'm the hero, Link." It responded.

"No you're not!" cried Link. "You're just a stupid phantom!" He slashed at the demon's waist, but the demon's body faded, making the attack go right through him. "That's cheating!" Link whined. The shadowy phantom dashed past Link and grabbed Zelda. "Princess!" Link cried, but a dark wind whipped around the group and Link was blown backwards, hitting his head on nothing, which is the number two way of passing out for a scene transition. It was the last of Zelda that he saw for a long time.

Said transition later…

Link sat up and looked around. For some reason, he was outside. The grass was cut short and neat, and in front of Link was a stone pedestal with a sword in in it. "I must be in the Four Sword sanctuary!" Link said aloud. "But more importantly, where's Zelda? Zelda!" He called, running around in circles. "Where'd you go? Princess Zelda! Where are you?!" Link stopped running and stood in front of the sword. "Well, shoot," he muttered. "Zelda said something bad was going to happen. What am I supposed to do now?"

He looked more closely at the Four Sword. The blade seemed like it would have been a little less than half of his height. It was free of rust and tarnish, though it reflected a dull gray color. The handle was grooved gold, and the round gem at the end was the same cloudy blank color of the blade. The design was eerily familiar. Almost automatically, he gripped the handle with his left hand.

Wait a second! He thought. If I draw the sword, I might break Vaati's seal! Link stared at his hand. No, He decided at last. I have to risk it. I have no choice! He pulled the sword from the stone and raised it high in the air. "O, mighty Four Sword, lend me your strength!"

The young knight flashed with color for less than a second. And then, there were four Links, each holding their own Four Sword, each dressed in a different color and having slightly different features that set them apart. "Welp, I guess that proves the legend." Someone said.

"Yep," said another.

"Yeah," said another.

"Yes," said the last one.

They looked at each other for a few seconds. "Umm… wow…" said one of the Links, who was wearing green clothes. "It's a little weird seeing three other guys with my… face."

"It's my face, too," said a Link wearing blue. The Link wearing red rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, and the Link in purple gave the other Links a half-eyed look.

"But check this math," said the green Link. "Four Links equals four times awesome!"

"No it doesn't," said the purple Link in an oddly feminine voice.

"Is that a trick question?" squeaked the red Link.

"You're playing math games at a time like this? Shame on you!" The blue Link said angrily.

"Whoa, I'm just saying that it'll be easier to beat Vaati. Because there are four of us now."

"Oh, I get it now!" The red Link said happily.

"Why didn't you just say so?" The blue Link huffed.

"If you guys were paying attention," said the purple Link, pointing at the seal. "You would see that we're about to kill something."

"What," the others said, and they all looked up just in time to see the seal burst into a pile of rubble. Rocks flew into the air, slamming and cracking together to form a large stone creature with long arms and legs.

"Free…" it rumbled. "I'm finally free! How many centuries has it been again? Three? I've lost count…"

"Is that Vaati?" the red Link shrieked. "We really did break the seal!"

"I hate to tell you this," said the blue Link. "But we have to lock you away again. We're sorry."

"I'm not sorry," said the purple Link.

The green Link jumped in the air and easily cut off one of the monster's arms with his Four Sword. A vacuuming noise pulled the monster's missing arm back into position. "Not fair!" the green Link yelled. "His arm came back! That's not a legitimate move!"

"I wonder what happens if we cut all four limbs at once…?" the purple Link thought aloud.

The green Link snapped out of his rage quit zone. "On it!" he and the blue Link said at once. They both leapt toward the monster, slammed into each other, and fell to the ground in a heap. "Ow! What do you think you're doing, you idiot?!" shouted the blue Link.

"Shut up!" the green Link yelled back. "It's your fault! I was going to hit his right arm!" The red Link cut off the monsters left leg, but it grew back again. The purple Link repeated the action on the other arm, both attacks having no avail. "Hold up!" said the green Link, waving his hands for attention. "We can't keep flailing around like this! We need to work as a team."

"How do we do that?" the red Link asked.

"I don't need any help, I'm a one man team!" said the blue Link with a laugh.

The purple Link looked down sheepishly. "I've never worked on a team before." He admitted quietly. "I mean, I guess I could try it now for the sake of the battle, but… I won't."

Huh? The green Link thought in bewilderment. I'm not really such a jerk face, am I? Yes, you are, His thoughts replied. Shut up, me, the green Link thought back. He recalled from his memories as a single Link about something his father said to him as an infant.

Son, the knight said to the toddler on the floor of their room at the castle, you suck at teamwork, and this is somehow apparent, despite you not even being able to talk. Because of this, your mother has left, and from now on, I'm going to use this as a passive aggressive reason for valuing my life over yours for no real reason except for background conflict that's never really addressed until a catastrophic event happens that makes me begrudgingly love you as a father should, again for reasons not put in the lime light or even talked about remotely. Have a fun childhood, like mine wasn't. Jerk. … Why did he remember this conversation?

A rock smacked him in the face, making the green Link realize that the rock monster was now trying to inhale them all. "We're all going to die!" The red Link wailed as he clung to the blue Link, who replied by kicking him in the face and telling him to shut up.

As they wailed and clung to the grass at the prospect of their doom, a pink flower whipped by in the wind, and was somehow visible to all four Links. That looks like the flower I gave to Zelda! They all thought. I have to help her! I can't lose her!

Letting go of their holds, they each cut off one of the monsters limbs and, standing in a spin formation, cut the monster's torso down to rubble. The monsters howls faded as the wind calmed. They all stood quietly together for a moment.

Finally, the blue Link broke the silence. "Was that thing Vaati?" he asked. "Well, he is a wind mage," said the purple Link. "That might not have been his true form."

Unbeknownst to the group, a fifth Link lurked behind a large rock and watched them. "Vaati is reborn!" he whispered excitedly. "Thank you, Link. This time, we'll bury you! The fact that there are four of you will only make it that much easier!" He chuckled to himself as he melted through the shadows in the grass.


Done. Bang. Lyle's got it under control. Don't trust Lyle? Bust my chops! Bang! Okay, anyway.

The first chapter is short. What a surprise. It's also pretty sarcastic. Like I said it would be. Link ended up being sassier than I first wrote him to be. Now there are five sass masters. Also, the reason that Vio is a girl is because of the whole Yang-Yin concept. (Not Yin-Yang, that's incorrect.) A bit of each aspect is within the other, so there is a male aspect of females and a female aspect of males. That's the official reason. My reason is some indulgence that could not be avoided during chapter eight. You'll know when you get there.

So what did you think? Was it good, funny, able to be improved upon? Please let me know what you think, and I'll hopefully see you next week. Until then!