Dwarf Smores

Disclaimer: all characters, names and locations featured in this story are property of J.R.R. Tolkien. I own nothing that you recognize.


It was a cold, cloudy morning in the Blue Mountains. Mist was rising from the hilltops in white drifting tendrils like smoke. The air was cool and smelled clean after yesterday's rain storm had passed, and small patches of blue sky had just begun to peak out from between the clouds.

Kili was awake and hungry. He was on his way down to the kitchen for breakfast when he noticed a delicious aroma wafting up the stairs. His older brother Fili was already up and making his own breakfast. So Kili decided to follow his nose down to the kitchen to see what his brother was cooking.

When he reached the kitchen Kili saw his brother removing a metal tin from the oven. In it was a toasted sandwich that smelled of seasoned beef and hot peppers. The smell was so delicious it was making Kili's mouth water.

"What have you got there, Fee?" Kili asked, eager for a taste of whatever it was that his brother had cooked.

Fili sat the metal tin containing the sandwich on the countertop to cool. "This, my dear brother, is what they call a Philly steak and cheese sandwich. It's got melted cheese over roast beef with green bell peppers and onions."

A look of surprise flitted across the younger dwarf's face. "What? A Fili sandwich? You mean to say it was named after you?"

Fili waved off his brother's question with a chuckle and a smile. "No, not at all. This was invented long before I was ever born. And it's spelled p-h-i-l-l-y, not f-i-l-i."

"Oh." Kili looked down at the hot steaming sandwich that Fili was now picking up and sitting on a plate. Already the gears were turning in his mind. "Well, if there's a Fili sandwich then there needs to be a Kili sandwich to go with it."

Fili's eyebrows shot up as he looked at his younger sibling with curiosity and wonder in his eyes. "You're going to make a Kili sandwich?"

"But of course. Why shouldn't I?"

A wide grin was now spreading across Kili's face, and Fili knew that mischievous look of excitement all to well. It meant that Kili was about to launch into another of his wild and reckless ideas that would either lead to trouble or a big mess.

Kili began rummaging though the kitchen cupboards, looking for anything he thought would make a good sandwich. Fili stood back and watched as his brother brought out lemons and marshmallows and dumped them onto the countertop. One of the lemons rolled off the kitchen counter and hit the floor with a splat.

"Kili, what are you doing?" Fili queried, looking both surprised and amused at his brother's odd selection of food.

The brunette dwarf grabbed a pot and put it on the stove. He poured the marshmallows into the pot, then started slicing the lemons in half.

"Fetch me some wood for the stove, Fili."

"Alright, if you say so, brother."

Fili went ahead and brought the wood in and stoked up the fire in the stove. Kili meanwhile was busy squeezing the juice out of the lemons into the pot with the marshmallows.

The older dwarf looked into the pot at the lemon juice and marshmallows and made a face. "That doesn't look very appetizing, Kili."

Kili peered down into the pot. "I think you're right. Let's find something to turn it a pretty color and add some sugar to sweeten it."

In a short while the two brothers had nearly demolished the kitchen as Fili joined in helping his brother on his culinary quest. They now had a pot of pink sticky goo on the stove (Fili had dyed it pink by adding rosewater to the mixture), as well as pink blobs of sticky mush clinging to the walls and floor. The contents of the cupboards had been dumped onto the countertop, with several jars and boxes spilling out onto the floor.

While they were rooting around in the cupboards, Kili discovered a package of sweet tasting brown crackers on a shelf beside the stove.

"What is this?" he asked, holding out a packet of crackers for his brother to look at.

Fili opened the packet and tasted one of the crackers. "Mmm... It's good, Kee. It tastes a bit like honey."

Kili snatched the packet back from his brother. "This will be the bread for my sandwich!" he said, grinning happily.

Fili looked a little puzzled. "Why do you want to use that for bread? It's not soft like bread is. It's sweet and crunchy."

"Precisely the point, Fili!" Kili said. "I want my sandwich to be different, unlike anything anyone has ever eaten before."

The blond prince glanced back at the bubbling pot of pink goo on the stove. "Oh, you needn't worry about that, brother. I think this will be very different."

"Now I think it's time for one last thing," said Kili. "I have here my special ingredient." And with that he withdrew a small cloth bound bundle from a pocket in his tunic.

Fili looked at the parcel with interest and curiosity. "What have you got there, Kee?"

"This is a very rare and exotic treat," said Kili, trying hard to dramatically build up the suspense. "It was imported from faraway lands. There are very few in Middle Earth who have experienced its unique flavor."

"Wait a minute," said Fili, suddenly doubtful of the rarity of his brother's secret ingredient. "If this food is supposedly so scarce in these lands then how did you get it?"

Kili looked somewhat affronted. "Mother gave it to me. I have been saving it for a special occasion."

"Really?" Fili looked skeptical. "We have the same mother. You think I wouldn't notice if she gave something special to you without letting me have some of this mystery food as well?"

"You had yours already. And like I said, I've been saving this for a special occasion. It's been a while, so you probably don't remember having yours."

"This isn't like the three month old stale biscuits you stashed in your sock drawer is it?"

"No, not at all," Kili snorted, dismissing his brother's question with a casual wave of his hand. "This is different. Here, take a look."

He unwrapped the small parcel and revealed a single bar of chocolate.

"Chocolate!" Fili's bright blue eyes lit up at the sight of the delicious treat. It was one of his favorites, but chocolate was indeed a rare find in Middle Earth. He hadn't had any in a long time, which made him wonder just how long Kili had been holding onto it.

"Looks good, doesn't it?" said Kili, smiling at his brother's expression of sheer delight at seeing the bar of chocolate in his hand. "Now watch this."

Kili set the crackers and the chocolate on the counter. He snapped one cracker in half then broke off a small piece of chocolate and put it on the cracker. He then dipped a spoon into the pot on the stove, brought out a spoonful of the thick, sticky, lemon flavored marshmallow and plopped it down on top of the chocolate. He topped off the sweet creation with the other half of the cracker and said, "There! And thus the Kili sandwich is born!"

He handed Fili the sandwich. "Here, Fee. I'd like you to be the first to try my new creation."

The blond prince held the sandwich, looking at it carefully and watching as the heat from the warm marshmallow began to melt the chocolate. He took a bite of the crunchy gooey treat and smiled, his eyebrows raising up into his golden mane of hair.

"Tis is good," he said, his words slightly garbled due to speaking around a mouthful of sticky marshmallow goo. "I tink I'd like s'more."

"S'more?" Kili echoed. He thought about this for a moment. "Smore... Smores. I like the sound of that. Smores. I think instead of calling it a sandwich I'll call it 'dwarf smores.' Because they are so good that anyone who eats it wants s'more!"

And that is the story of how smores came to be in Middle Earth. They were invented by a young dwarf in the Blue Mountains named Kili.