She laughed; the sound, cliché as it is, like music to my ears. I couldn't help the slight giggle that tore from my throat, making her pearly face turn in my direction, eyebrows scrunched up adorably as they always were when she was confused. Her cocoa-brown eyes found my plain blue ones across the choir room and she gave the ghost of a smile before her attention was turned again from me by Jake Puckerman.
I could feel the faint twinges of jealousy clouding my mind as he leaned forward and kissed her. The only comfort to me was the fact that she turned her head at the last minute and he only got her cheek. This turning of the head brought her eyes once again back to mine and I noticed the honey-gold flecks in them as this time she smiled a fully-fledged smile.
I found my lips quirking into a grin also, before Jake once again grabbed for her attention, frowning slightly as he glanced at me. That boy was such a wannabe. Couldn't he tell that she wasn't interested?
I felt a small grin curl the corners of my mouth as I came up with the best way to tell her my feelings. In song, of course.
The best person to go to in order to express your feelings is definitely Quinn Fabray. It was only this year, when confronted about it by Rachel Berry, that she finally admitted her feelings to the stunned brunette. Needless to say, they've been together ever since.
"Kitty," Mr Schue's voice filtered into my brain as I stood abruptly, giving him a small, apologetic smile as I left. I quickly schooled my expression into one of uncaring as I left the building, on my way to a certain Quinn Fabray.
The train was cold, as usual, but I didn't let it bother me and wrapped my arms around myself in an attempt to ward off the chill. Only then I realised how stupid it was of me to go out in my Cheerios uniform. The porter came past and I gave him the required money, not caring that I'd actually given him more than required. All I wanted to do was see Quinn, and then I could set about telling Marley of my feelings.
It sounded easy and I know you're thinking: Kitty? She's not nervous of anything. But that's not the truth. What if she rejected me? What is she preferred Jake? What if…?
There were so many variables, so many things that could go wrong, but I couldn't allow them to. I had to stay strong, and Marley would soon be mine.
I don't give up easily.
XxX
I gulped apprehensively as Quinn's apartment came into view but, despite my misgivings, I hurried across the busy road and knocked on the door.
The girl that answered was only one or two years older than me, with almost-glowing blond hair and brilliant, cat-green eyes. She was dressed in a knee-length white dress with a tiny bow at the top that matched her eyes. This was Quinn Fabray.
For a moment I was speechless, upon seeing her again. The last time I'd seen her had been near thanksgiving, when she had come down for a visit.
"Kitty," she sounded surprised, but it wasn't a question and, as she surveyed my appearance, I saw understanding dawn in her beautiful eyes.
"Rachel's through here; I'll make you some tea."
She left and I moved into the tiny but homely living room, where a stunning brunette girl in a short, black skirt and top sat curled up like a cat on the sofa. She raised her head when I entered and gave me a sleepy grin before lowering her head again and taking a large sip of whatever hot drink she had.
Quinn returned at that moment, the required tea in her hand. She gave me a small, motherly smile as she directed me into the kitchen, where I sat at the table.
"I believe you're here to talk about Marley?"
I nodded, not surprised that she had guessed, nor trusting myself to speak. She nodded in reply and murmured, "What are you going to do about it?"
"I wanted to sing to her, but does that seem a little stalker-ish?"
"No," she snapped, "No way. It's what I did to Rachel. Look how that turned out. What song?"
"I was thinking of doing We are Broken by Paramore, but changing the words."
"Perfect," was the muttered reply and we made up the words for the rest of the night, until I took the train home, glad that school hadn't rung my parents to tell them I'd skipped.
XxX
The day dawned bright and early: unfortunately, but I was up and about in seconds, making it to school just as the clock chimed 8:00. Mr Schu was already there, but apart from giving me a disapproving glance he left me alone. I whispered my plan to the musicians and as the New Directions sat down, I began.
"I am trapped
And I've been waiting for the sun
What have I done?
To deserve treatment like this
My mouth is dry
My heart hammering inside
Tell me why I am like this
Keep me here inside
My prison cell
Tower over me, yeah
I am trapped
What must I do to escape?
With my innocence
And oh, the pain that I absorb
Give me life again
I just wanna be home
Open the doors
'Cause I'd like to be set free
And to go back home
So I can have a life
And when he comes back
I'll show myself it wasn't a dream
But I'm trapped here, I live like this."
I took a deep breath, wincing inwardly at the words I was about to say as my eyes found Marley's.
"I am not kind, or considerate, or compassionate, but I feel just like everyone else, and, just as the song say's, I'm trapped inside myself. I can't show the real me because I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what everyone will say. But I'm not afraid any more. I wrote that song for Marley, because I want to tell her how I feel."
The words were unspoken, but they were there nevertheless.
I love you.
I felt them and I knew she did too.
She rose unsteadily and came to stop in front of me. I could see Jake over her shoulder, grinning like a Cheshire cat as he expected her to hit me. What she did next wiped that smug look off his face. She cupped my face in her hands and kissed me.
I won't go into detail, but I could feel my heart hammering so loudly that it would have been a miracle if she couldn't hear it.
When we finally pulled apart, I could see the rest of glee club staring at us with a mixture of shock and horror. It was clearly not what they'd been expecting. However, before the bell rang, I had one last piece of advice.
"Never hide who you are."
