Infinity Entertainment Presents
An Insanity Works Production
A Luke Lynch Short Musical
Disney Cruise Adventures: The 12 Days of Christmas
NOTE: This is meant to take place in the same universe as Fantasy on the Fantasy. Same appearances and descriptions, everything is just as it was in that story. Entirely fictional; I did not see "12 Days Of Christmas" on the karaoke list. Besides, even if I had, I wouldn't have performed it: We hadn't even hit Thanksgiving yet.[/NOTE]
"For those of you just joining us," began Matt, a young man with glasses and male pattern baldness who was the MC for tonight's karaoke session, "we are rockin' out the D Lounge with all of your favorite yuletide tunes for Family Superstar Karaoke tonight." Then he turned his attention to the DJ booth, where Krista, a lovely young redhead from Australia, was sitting.
"Krista," he asked, "who is our last performer for the night?"
"Our last performer for tonight," began Krista, "with the help of a couple of friends, is Casey!"
"Well, how about that?" said Matt happily as I walked up to the stage. "The wonderful young man who started off a Caribbean trip with the Beach Boys and has been rocking out with us every night since."
"What can I say?" I said into my own mike. "I live for this kind of thing."
"And so you do," laughed Matt, "I can tell by your performances every night. OK, what are you singing for us tonight?"
"Since we're so close to Christmas," I began, "I figured, you know what, why not get everyone in the Christmas spirit the best way I know how: with Disney's 12 Days of Christmas!"
"OK, we'll take that!" answered Matt excitedly. "Now, I heard you were getting help from a couple of friends for this number?"
"You heard right," I answered slyly. "You'll probably recognize them as they come out here."
"Really?" asked Matt, intrigued.
"Really," I replied. "Let's bring them on, shall we? Matt, you might wanna sit down, because you might jump out of your seat."
"Uh, OK," acquiesced Matt, taking a seat on some comfy chairs stacked up against the nearest wall.
"OK," I began, "let's get right into it. First, let's bring on the main three reasons this company exists in the first place. A mouse, a duck, and...we still don't know what the third one is." The audience laughed.
"Ladies and gentlemen," I finished, "the Big Three of Disney: Mickey, Donald, and Goofy!" Cheers from the audience as said three characters came out and grabbed microphones.
"Hi, everybody!" greeted Mickey with his famous chuckle.
"Ah-hyuck! Gawrsh, hi, everyone!" added Goofy in his famous drawl.
"Hiya, everybody," quacked Donald. "It's me: Donald Duck!"
"We know," called out a few people in the crowd.
"Moving right along," I started, "next on the list are everybody's favorite chipmunks, Alvin, Simon, and Theodore notwithstanding." More laughs from the crowd.
"Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for the stars of Disney's Rescue Rangers: Chip and Dale!" The two walked out to cheers and whistles from the audience. They grabbed mikes and started talking...I assume they were saying hello, but they talk so blasted fast, it's really hard to tell.
"Anyways," I resumed once they had finished, "now it's time to meet the First Lady of Disney, and I'm not referring to Nancy Reagan." Dead silence from the audience; I could literally hear the crickets.
"Huh," I mused. "Must have been before your time. Anyways, please welcome to the stage the one and only Minnie Mouse!" The crowd came back to life with applause as Minnie walked out in a beautiful red sparkling jacket with white blouse and red skirt.
"Well, good evening, everyone," she greeted with a girlish giggle.
"And good evening to you, as well, Minnie," I replied, kissing the top of her hand. Blushing and giggling, she went to stand over next to Mickey.
"Well, you talk about an all-star ensemble," I said to the crowd, "we've definitely got one right here, wouldn't you say?" A general murmur of agreement from the audience.
"And the best part is..." I paused for dramatic effect. "...we're not even done."
Even a deaf, dumb, and blind man could tell the crowd was riveted just from this statement alone.
"What do you mean?" asked a red-haired woman in the crowd who I knew from talking to her was from Canada.
"I think this song needs...shall we say...a royal touch," I said slyly, "don't you?"
"Wait," began a British man who I had come to know fairly well during the trip, "are you saying...?"
"Yes, I am," I confirmed proudly. "And let's not waste any more time. I'm going to bring them out one at a time, and I want you all to give each of them the royal welcome they all deserve. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, I proudly yet humbly present to you...the Disney Fantasy's Disney Princesses!" Cheers and applause from the crowd.
"Real quick," I began, "let me just say: I still have no idea how I managed to pull this off." Laughter from the audience. "Anyways, here we go: Princess number one is a lovely and wonderful, though mentally-abused, shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot tubbing...anytime! Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning, though for a time, she was forced to do it for her two evil sisters. Please welcome..." I gestured behind me. "...Cinderella!" She came out in her traditional blue ball gown and I kissed the top of her hand, as I would do with all the Princesses.
"And hey," I quipped, "sorry if I brought back any bad memories."
"Yeah," shot back Cinderella, "thanks a lot for that." And she rolled her eyes and gestured towards me, at which the crowd laughed.
"Anyways," I continued, not missing a beat, "Princess number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of Fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Ba-dum-cha!" More laughter from the crowd. "Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is; come on and give it up for..." Again, gesturing behind me. "...Snow...White!" And Snow White walked out in her trademark blue and yellow dress. She went over to stand next to Cinderella and shot towards me,
"At least you understand that I do have standards." More laughter from the audience. I raised an eyebrow at her, then I continued with my intros:
"Princess number three is a fiery redhead from the underwater world of Atlantica. She used to be a bit less...shall we say...conservative...with her manner of dress..." Laughter and applause. "...but ever since her royal coronation, she's really mellowed out. Her dearest friends include a seagull, a flounder, and a crab, all of which can talk, and let's not forget: She has a singing voice that even makes the angelfish cry. D Lounge, put your hands together for Ariel!" And Ariel walked out to a great reception from the crowd in a sea-green dress with a sea lily tucked in her locks just above her left ear. She went and stood on Cinderella's other side, but not before leaving behind this quip.
"You do realize I've only mellowed out in terms of manner of dress?" she asked me.
"Oh, yeah," I said breathlessly, and winked at the crowd, who laughed. Continuing on:
"Princess number four is a real down-to-Earth restaurateur from Mardi Gras land: New Orleans, Louisiana. A dear friend of hers who lives down in the Bayou makes the BEST gumbo you will EVER eat in your LIFE. Her favorite pastimes are dancing and making music with her husband, Naveen...oh, and did I mention that she can turn into a frog at will? Stand up and show your love, my friends, for the lovely and talented Princess Tiana!" She came out in the green dress she had been in when she had married Naveen, gave me a hug, and went to go stand next to Ariel.
"Oh, and has he told you about the time HE tried Mama Odie's gumbo?" she asked the crowd with a wink.
"Put it this way," I admitted. "If you do try Mama Odie's gumbo, DO NOT ask her to omit the tobasco sauce. ...I have done this. ...She doesn't take it well." Laughter and applause from the crowd.
"Anyways," I finished, "last, but certainly not least by any stretch of the imagination, Princess number five is an amazing brunette from rural France with eyes to match and a heart of gold, but the brains to back herself up when called for. She has a real love for books, but what you don't know is that she also possesses a raw musical talent that makes Dream Theater look like kindergarteners!" Two people in the crowd laughed.
"The two people who got that reference," I called them out, "thank you so much. Anyways, she also has an impressive library and a real keen eye for furniture and place holders. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the lady, the myth, the legend herself: Disney Princess Belle Cartier!" And Belle walked out in her yellow ball gown, gave me a hug AND a kiss (as the crowd erupted), then joined the other Princesses.
"And if you couldn't already tell," smirked Belle, "I'm also madly in love with this young man." She pointed at me.
"Yet another feat that I will never know how I managed to pull off," I laughed. The audience laughed, as well.
"OK, let's not waste any more time," I said excitedly. "Friends, feel free to sing along. Krista, hit it!" And a soft flute kicked in with some slight percussion accompaniment. I kicked it off:
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree
Mickey!
(Mickey)
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Two turtledoves
(Me and Mickey)
And a partridge in a pear tree
"Belle!" I indicated, pointing to her. She didn't miss a beat:
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Three French hens
(Mickey)
Two turtledoves
(Me)
And a partridge in a pear tree
I now pointed at Donald, who took the cue:
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Four calling birds
(Belle)
Three French hens
(Mickey)
Two turtledoves
(Me)
And a partridge in a pear tree
As I finished, I pointed to Goofy, who jumped right in:
Ah-hyuck! On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Five golden rings, huh-huh-huh!
(Donald)
Four calling birds
(Belle)
Three French hens
(Mickey)
Two turtledoves
(Me)
And a partridge in a pear tree
"Tiana?" I asked, and nodded to her. She took over:
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Six geese-a-laying
(Goofy)
Five golden rings
(Donald)
Four calling birds
(Belle)
Three French hens
(Mickey)
Two turtledoves
(Me)
And a partridge in a pear tree
Snow White?
(Snow White)
Of course! On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Seven swans-a-swimming
(Tiana)
Six geese-a-laying
(Goofy)
Five golden rings
(Donald)
Four calling birds
(Belle)
Three French hens
(Mickey)
Two turtledoves
(Me)
And a partridge in a pear tree
Minnie giggled as I finished: She already knew her part was up. But I said, "Minnie?" anyways, and she came in:
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me (giggle)
Eight maids-a-milking
(Snow White)
Seven swans-a-swimming
(Tiana)
Six geese-a-laying
(Goofy)
Five golden rings
(Donald)
Four calling birds
(Belle)
Three French hens
(Mickey)
Two turtledoves
(Me)
And a partridge in a pear tree
Chip & Dale!
(Chip & Dale)
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Nine ladies dancing
(Minnie)
Eight maids-a-milking
(Snow White)
Seven swans-a-swimming
(Tiana)
Six geese-a-laying
(Goofy)
Five golden rings
(Donald)
Four calling birds
(Belle)
Three French hens
(Mickey)
Two turtledoves
(Me)
And a partridge in a pear tree
Ariel!
(Ariel)
Sure! On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Ten lords-a-leaping
(Chip & Dale)
Nine ladies dancing
(Minnie)
Eight maids-a-milking
(Snow White)
Seven swans-a-swimming
(Tiana)
Six geese-a-laying
(Goofy)
Five...
(Donald, interrupting)
Five golden rings
(Goofy)
Hey, that's my line! Now I'm gonna take yours.
Four calling birds
(Belle)
Three French hens
(Mickey)
Two turtledoves
(Me)
And a partridge in a pear tree
Cinderella!
(Cinderella)
OK! On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Eleven pipers piping
(Ariel)
Ten lords-a-leaping
(Chip & Dale)
Nine ladies dancing
(Minnie)
Eight maids-a-milking
(Snow White)
Seven swans-a-swimming
(Tiana)
Six geese-a-laying
(Goofy)
Five onion rings
Everyone laughed at this, except Donald, who put on a scowl and simply took over his part:
Four calling birds
(Belle)
Three French hens
(Mickey)
Two turtledoves
(Me)
And a partridge in a pear tree
"Bring on the gifts!" called someone in the crowd as it came around to the last part. Mickey laughed just as I started it:
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Twelve drummers drumming
And I motioned everything from here on out, from the drummers all the way down to all the birds.
(Cinderella)
Eleven pipers piping
(Ariel)
Ten lords-a-leaping
(Chip & Dale)
Nine ladies dancing
(Minnie)
Eight maids-a-milking
(Snow White)
Seven swans-a-swimming
(Tiana)
Six geese-a-laying
(Goofy)
Five golden rings
(Donald)
Four calling birds
(Belle & me)
Three French hens
(Mickey)
Two turtledoves
(All)
And a partridge in a pear tree
And a partridge in a pear tree...
Mickey laughed as the crowd broke into a standing ovation. All the characters took a bow except Belle, who walked over to me and wrapped me in a hug.
"You were amazing tonight," she praised. "Thanks for inviting us along." And she kissed me, lightly but meaningfully.
"Thanks for agreeing to come along," I shot back. "Talk about dreams coming true."
"You know why this dream came true, right?" queried Belle.
"No, but I have a feeling you're about to tell me," I chuckled.
"This happened tonight," she said happily yet mysteriously, "because you had the courage to believe it could. We Disney folk really respond to that."
"So I've come to learn," I laughed, and stole a kiss from Belle. I then grabbed my mike back and said into it:
"D Lounge, let's hear it one final time for the characters who were kind enough to join me up here tonight!" The audience cheered and whistled as I called each of the characters out in turn.
"Thank you all so much!" I said, to the characters as much as to the audience. "You've all been too kind to me in the time you've known me. This is the last time you'll see me on this particular cruise, but I WILL be seeing you all again very soon! Disney Fantasy, thank you and GOOD-BYE!" I finished in a scream as I walked off the stage.
It's just a shame the ship couldn't condone mic drops. Otherwise, I would have.
But the good news is that I will, indeed, be back.
A/N: OK, and here we are: Christmas Central for 2013. We're a little over a week away from the big day at the time of publishing, but dammit, it's snowing out, the house is all festive...It's Christmas time. Hopefully, you enjoyed this latest effort!
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