savkobresia said: twisted korrlok, written. maybe with some sort of other ship conflict. something creepy. I'm sorry, I am really no help tonight. .
You are a help! This was a challenge, but it a good way. I've written a lot of Korrlok, but since Tarrlok is one of my favorite characters ever, I tend to write him sympathetically. How limiting! This was an experiment and I definitely enjoyed it.
I'm very grateful. Very grateful. Who else would have done so much for me? Who else could have been so patient as he taught me the ways of the world? Anyone else would have given up long ago. I'd been such a headstrong child. I hadn't deserved Tarrlok. I still didn't deserve him. Not that he'd ever say so! He'd never do that. It was just so clear to me every moment I spent with him. When I told him so, he disagreed with a soft smile. I wouldn't speak of it again, but I know it is true. When I was seventeen, I never would have guessed I still had so much growing to do. I thought myself an adult. I thought I knew what I believed. To this day, I thank the spirits that I found such a man to take me under his wing. He sheltered me from the wrong influences, taught me, shaped me. I thank him every day, but it's never enough.
My old friends have all drifted away. It was upsetting when I realized what was happening, but it didn't take Tarrlok long to explain why it was better for us to go our separate ways. Now I nod and smile when I see them on the street. No more is necessary. It was a shock when Mako stopped, caught my hand, and begged me for an hour. One meal. Anytime. He only wanted me to come alone. I couldn't agree until I'd asked my husband, of course, but he didn't see anything wrong with the idea. He did warn me before I left that Mako had always seemed to have an unsteady character. He assured me I could take care of myself, but told me to be on my guard. Just in case.
I always wonder how he guesses at such things. Mako begged, pleaded with me until he was on the edge of tears. He told me I was a different person than I used to be. That Tarrlok had changed me. He asked me to remember what we had once had, and when I looked into his eyes, I could almost feel that familiar passion come flooding back. What person would I have become if I had stayed with this man? Would I have been… better? Happier? My breath caught as he talked of the old days and what we had shared. But when he said that I needed to leave my husband, that was when I came back to myself. If he could ask such a thing, then he was no friend of mine. Didn't he— Anyone with eyes could see what Tarrlok had done for me. He was more than I ever could have asked for. He was.
As I told my husband what had passed, there was a moment of fear that he would blame me for what had happened. But no, he held me close, comforted and reassured me. He spoke strongly about Mako, of course, and it didn't take long before I was nodding along and agreeing with every word he said. I thanked and thanked him when he told me I wouldn't have to worry about meeting Mako on the streets anytime soon. Tarrlok is so good to me.
Lately, he's been speaking about having a baby together. He worries for me, though. He tells me over and over that he doesn't want me to feel like I'm being tied down to the city, but I reassure him just as often that I couldn't care less. I can see in his eyes that he badly wants a child, and what I want more than anything is to give him one. If it means I can't travel far or frequently, then that's a sacrifice I can easily make. I think that soon I'll stop taking my medicine. The sooner I conceive, the sooner I can give him the good news. It will be such a surprise. He'll be so pleased, and when he's happy, I'm happy. He'll be so pleased.
