Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.


Bella

England
bedroom

Why? Why? Why me? What have I done wrong? When did I do something wrong? Are you punishing me for some unknown reason? Do you just hate me and that is why you want me to suffer? Please, please god please tells me what I have done. if I be good will you make it stop, take me away from this, kill me, I don't mind how you do it, just as long as it goes away, please god please… please.

I got off my knees slowly and turned to switch off the light. In the darkness I was alone. I could still hear the TV downstairs playing loud with the sound of football commentary. I could hear that our team was losing and even though I don't like football and pay no interests to the game at all. This was bad. I walked to my bed dodging discarded paper on my way. Paper with my troubled thoughts scribbled on the nearest page I could find us so I would not scream out loud and course all hell to break loose. I climbed into bed and waited for the next sign o life downstairs. Mum was out and dad well was dad. Sitting fat and ugly in the old smelly chair that didn't go with the rest of the room and smelt of smoke, sick and him. I could feel the rage build up inside me once again as I thought about that vile man in that vile chair in this vile house in this stupid horrible unfair world that only a real idiot and evil person like god could have created. I grabbed for the first pen on my desk ran to the light switch and slammed my hand down on the light flooding and revealing everything in my small room. I fell to the floor covered an already wrote on piece of paper with my jumbled thoughts and bad hand writing. Words of hate and anger for this life, world and everything in it.

Oh no, sign of life, dad was on his way up. I couldn't pretend to be asleep like last time he was to near and I wouldn't have time what was he going to do? Please let this be the end. Maybe god heard me plea for help and listened.

My door swung open and hit my already broken wall. It swung back and hit his foot. I stared at the floor never looking at him always the floor but I could feel his anger and disgust as he stared down at me with his dark eyes and a mouth set in stone with an a look that could kill.

'Why aren't you in bed?' he said with a low deep voice.

I stayed silent anything I would say would bring the same outcome so it's best to say nothing at all.

'Why aren't you in bed?' he repeated

Again I stayed quiet

'Look at me' his voice strained as if trying to remain carm with his jaw set and teeth together.

When I made no attempt of moving to look him in the eyes he finally snapped.

'I said look at me' he grabbed my chin and pulled my face to his forcing me to look at his old ugly face.

I froze in fear this was not the first time this had happened so I knew what was coming. He pulled me up by the tops of my arms and stood me right.

'why aren't you in bed I told you to go to bed when I say go to go bed I mean it do not disobey me' he screamed in my face causing me to tilt back, close my eyes and turn my head away.

'I said to look at me' he turned me back to him and pushed me over to the bed.

'You will not disobey me you will do as I say and when I say it' he gave me on last push and I fell on the bed.

'Maybe this will teach you a lesson and maybe next time you will do as you are told' he told me ad he walked towards me hand raised in a fist he stood over me ready to start.

'Please don't' I whispered knowing it was no use for me to beg but I had to try.

'You have to be taught right from wrong Bella so just shut up and do as you are told' he shouted are he lend over me.

I put my hands in front of my face as if it would help. He grabbed my wrists and pulled them away. He them punched me in the stomach several times the pain was unmerciful. I screamed for help but none would come, the neighbours knew what was happening but they didn't come, the first time we moved here and it happened they come running over and tried to help but dad got the better or the man and hospitalized him for a few days that was the last time he came over to help. Know all the people in the street know what happens when Bella does something wrong but do they help? No! All I get it a sympathetic look from the corner of their eyes and a whisper when I walk past but does this help me in anyway? No! If anything it just makes my confusion about if god is real more and clearer because there is no good in the world. None at all. If there was then I wouldn't be here, the neighbour would have been stronger, someone would do something, anything. The least they could do is kill me!

I tuned dad's brutal beating out after a while, like always. Mainly because I had other things on my mind like my anger with god, people, the world, but also because my body has become increasingly numb to the pain.

After dad was done he got up leaving me on the floor, cold, bleeding from different parts of my body, nose, mouth, arms, back, head ect.

Tears in my eyes made it hard to see what time it was on my clock, I often done this after the beatings because I have fantasised about calling my own death but I never get to.

'Isabella Swan presumed dead at 10:47pm'


Thanks for reading my story

I hoped you like it

I'll try and get the next one out as soon as I can.

Abbey x