A/N: This was one of those ideas that comes to you at 2 AM when all you really want is to fall asleep. Hopefully, it turned out enjoyably.
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Sweet Revenge
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This was ridiculous. She'd kissed people before. Successfully. It didn't make any sense that one kiss would cause so much confusion. Especially since it had been a mistletoe kiss. With her partner. To get a trailer at a jail to spend Christmas in. Brennan groaned at the thought. Damn Caroline, always butting in and meddling, poking and prodding around in other people's lives. But his lips had felt so good on hers...
The phone rang, startling her from her mental ramblings. She knocked a ceremonial mask from her desk in her haste to answer it, and the thud it made as it connected with her toe elicited a mild curse.
"Brennan." She growled into the receiver, massaging her injured toe.
"Hey, Bones." Her partner's voice greeted her, obviously laughing. She blushed, remembering the track her thoughts had been on just moments before. "You sound absolutely delightful today. Are the rest of the squints cowering in the corner yet?"
"I dropped a mask on my toe." She informed him, slightly annoyed. "Is there a reason for this call, or do you just strive for the general annoyance of all those who are forced to deal with you?"
"Ouch, Bones. You really know how to kill a man's ego." She cleared her throat impatiently. "Okay, the reason I called is that Caroline has gotten out of control."
"Obviously."
"Let me finish, Bones. She's gotten out of control, so somebody needs to put her back in her place. Considering the current circumstances, I figured we should be the ones to do it."
"I'm intrigued. Have you got any ideas about how you're going to put Caroline in her place, or are you simply stating that it is a necessary goal?"
"I've got some thoughts." Booth grinned into the receiver.
"What sort of thoughts."
"Before I share them, you have to agree to my conditions."
"You're just exerting your need to control the situation, an instinct no doubt brought on by your Alpha-Male tendencies."
"Maybe I am."
"What conditions?" She caved.
"Only one; that you listen to the entire plan before you voice your opinion on any part of it."
"I suppose that's reasonable."
"Okay. First, we lull her into a false sense of security. If we act like nothing is going on, she'll be caught unawares when we implement the actual plan."
"Which is?"
"We act like a couple."
"Wouldn't that be playing right into her hands?"
"Not necessarily, Bones. Even you could see she felt foolish after she made us kiss. Wouldn't she be even more weirded out if she thought it was her fault we had decided to date?"
"An interesting thought."
"We won't ever say or do anything definite, just enough to make her squirm. It'll be great Bones."
"Oh, I'm sure it will."
"So, you in?"
"I'm in, but it better be every bit as good as you say it will." Booth couldn't help but grin at the thought that she had no idea how many ways that statement could have been interpreted, especially given the context.
"See you later, Bones."
"Bye."
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"Female, approximately 30-35 at time of death." Brennan stated as she examined the latest body from limbo. Angela stood beside her.
"Want me to do a reconstruction?"
"If I can't find anything more concrete in the bones. This isn't exactly a pressing case."
"I know, sweetie. I just need something to do." Angela explained. Brennan's cell phone started to ring.
"Brennan." She answered.
"Hey, Bones, listen. Caroline called me this morning and asked if you and I could meet with her today. I'm outside of your office right now, and she's already in there, so I was thinking this might be a good time to implement our plot."
"Let me just finish up with what I'm doing and I'll be right there." She promised
"Oh, and Bones?"
"Yeah."
"You can't act uncomfortable around me, or she'll never believe us."
"I'm never uncomfortable!"
"Please, Bones. For the first three months we worked together, you flinched whenever I touched you."
"I did not flinch!"
"I surrender, Bones. Just make sure you're believable."
"Maybe I should just ask Angela for lessons." Brennan immediately regretted the statement as Angela suddenly became very interested in the phone call.
"Maybe you should. I gotta go Bones." He hung up and entered the office of his partner to see Caroline already occupying the couch. She smirked at him, obviously congratulating herself for forcing him to sit in the uncomfortable chair across from Brennan's desk. Booth smirked right back as he seated himself in his partner's chair.
"She's gonna kill you when she finds you there." Caroline stated.
"Oh yeah?" Booth flashed the trademark charm smile.
"Hi Booth, Caroline." Brennan stepped into the office, instantly diffusing the face-off between the lawyer and the FBI agent. Caroline grinned in anticipation of the verbal bruising she knew Booth was about to get over his choice of seating, but it didn't come. Instead, Brennan grinned at her partner and, to Caroline's complete astonishment, took a seat in his lap. His arms immediately settled around her waist, a move which Caroline carefully noted.
"You wanted to see us?" Brennan finally broke the silence.
"Um...yeah...there was a case and the people with the...right." Caroline was at a loss for words. Booth decided to step in.
"When we talked over the phone, you said something about an ongoing murder trial?"
"That's right, Cherie." Caroline regained her composure. "We need more evidence for the conviction. It should be easy, since we already know who committed the crime."
"I can do it." Brennan volunteered. "It's been almost three weeks of limbo cases."
"I'm in too. Something's bound to happen, no matter how easy Caroline thinks it's gonna be."
"Thank you both. I knew you'd be able to help. Oh, and about that whole Christmas misunderstanding..."
"It's no problem, Caroline." Brennan grinned almost wolfishly and Booth's arms tightened around her waist. Caroline just blushed before excusing herself.
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"That was great!" Booth laughed the moment the door closed behind Caroline.
"It was satisfying, wasn't it?" Brennan agreed. For a moment, they both forgot about their current proximity to each other. Booth turned his attention to the computer on the desk.
"What are you doing?" Brennan asked.
"I want to see if she's emailed me the evidence she already has."
"Well while you do that, I'm trapped." She voiced the nagging fear she felt about what might happen if she stayed on his lap for too long. He said nothing in response, but she felt his free arm tighten around her further, preventing any possible escape. She glared at his smirk. "Fine." She settled deeper into his chest, "But this better not take too long."
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"Sweetie, it's time to go home. You've been here forever!" Angela entered her best friend's office and stopped in her tracks. Curled up together in the chair were Booth and Brennan, both fast asleep. Angela couldn't help but grin as she left the office.
"I wonder what Caroline could possibly have said to them." She mused out loud.
