Disclaimer-- The characters aren't mine and I'm sure I'm not the only one who has had this story idea but I haven't seen it posted yet so here it is. Fear me!

In a wooded glade somewhere....

Drizzt: I wish I could tell Cat how I feel...

Zak: (suddenly appearing) BOO!

Drizzt: (jumps) AHHH! Oh wait..... Hi Father! You're alive?!

Zak: (rolls eyes) Thank all the Seladrine you haven't entirely lost your grasp of the obvious. From about what I've heard it's gone.

Drizzt: Really? What is it? Will I need to go on a quest to recover it?

Zak:(looking up, eyes closed, trying not to curse) .....no. I have a message for you.

Drizzt: What is it?

Zak: (Suddenly slaps Drizzt hard across the face, grabs him by the shoulders and starts to shake Drizzt like an obnoxious disobedient puppy) MARRY THAT GIRL YOU MORON!!!!! SHE CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU FOREVER!!!

Drizzt: (dazed) But....

Zak: If you don't want to take care of the kids, I'll do it.

Drizzt: But....

Zak: I'll flip a gold piece with Bruenor for the privilege.

Drizzt: But....

Zak: There are good drow around. The Ellisstraeans in Skullport for example.

Drizzt: But....

Zak: Do you think your reputation won't carry over to them?! Now stop looking like a beached fish and go ask her!

Drizzt: (face faults)

End

Author's note- Now that we have my opinion on Drizzt's lack of mind, I do plan on writing some sort of fic involving one or the other of them. Although if I mention either one of them in the opening summary it'll be a first...

Now please push the happy author button and give me a few reviews, flames, threats against my life (which I will use to line small animal cages, so send lots) and other happy thoughts on this small bit of nonsense.