A/N - I'm really excited about this story, because for once, I'm really into it and especially into the character. I really hope it is recieved well by everyone. This is mainly about Emma's second bout of Anorexia (because honestly, most people don't recover the first time), and the MEMMA relationship. And I don't mean friendship. So, if you're really against that, then don't read this.

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.


It had all come back to her with ease. All the familiar numbers and tricks, parading through her head. If she ran three miles straight, she'd most likely burn around 300 calories. However Emma couldn't, wouldn't, believe in online activity calculators. She had to be exact. That's why she only used her heart rate watch, which always told her a number that seemed too low to be true.

And according to that watch, she was only ten minutes away from burning 200 calories. Her MP3 blared music into her ears as her footsteps pounded into the concrete.

It had been so simple. After everything that had happened the past few months, it seemed as if she had gone back to being invisible. Nobody watched her anymore. Nobody made sure she ate everything on her plate. Nobody made sure where she was at, incase she was over-exercising. or even purging.

No, everything had changed.

In almost no time, those ten minutes were up. It was finally over. She had burned exactly 250 calories. She turned offf the activity part of the watch, switching it back to clock mode. She felt refreshed, even though her feet and legs ached and her breath was labored. The truth was, was that she was tired. Tired of exercising, tired of restricting. But she couldn't stop. She wouldn't stop. This time would be different, she would make sure of that.

The tiny voice in her head was happy too. "You've done so well, Emma," it said, and it was these things that made her smile. It wouldn't last long though. The voice would come back. "See? Wasn't that easy? I told you it would be. But wouldn't you feel better if you burnt 50 calories more? It'd make it an even 300, and that'd be 50 more calories you could eat later, if you wanted."

Emma wanted to obey, she really did. That voice, well, it was her. She couldn't let herself down. Looking back at her watch, she saw that it was 5:56 AM. It was like a battle in her head. Keep going, or risk being caught? A part of her was telling her it'd be okay, that she could run that 50 calories off in no time. Another part was telling her it wasn't worth it. Her parents would wake up any minute.

Finally, she turned off her watch completely, and made her way back inside. As she entered through the basement window, she heard voices from upstairs. They were awake.

Deciding that it was time to get ready for school, she quickly took a shower and got dressed. She briefly stood on the scale afterwards, but it hadn't changed from the night before. It was still pointing toward '127'. She gathered all of her things with a frown, and by the time she was done, it was almost 6:45.

Her mom sat in the kitchen feeding Jack. Emma smiled at her.

"I'm about to leave," her mom said. "But there's something I wanted to talk to you about first."

Emma's heart fluttered in her chest, and she closed her eyes. She turned to the toaster and began making toast, trying to still her racing pulse.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," her mom continued. Baby Jack cooed. "I was wondering if you could babsit Jack."

Emma sighed, feeling relieved as she spread grape jelly across her toast. "Oh, sure, of course. When?"

"Actually, all of next week."

Emma dropped the knfie, and snapped her body towards her mother, her mouth slightly open. "What?"

Her mom smiled, cleaning Baby Jack's chin with a small towel. "Snake asked me to go away for a week with him, and I said yes."

"Like a vacation?"

Her mom nodded.

"To where?"

"B.C. Nothing major, but it's kind of his way of 'rekindling our relationship'. You in?"

Emma finally finished her breakfast and wrapped it in a napkin. "What about work?"

"I've got everything covered, don't worry. Maybe you can invite Manny over for the week? I'm sure her parents won't mind."

Emma nodded and hugged her mom, before planting a kiss against her cheek. "I've got to go, alright? There's this big test today, and I really want to get there early."

"Okay, honey. I'll see you later tonight."

With that, Emma opened the door, and left. Glancing around to make sure her parents weren't watching, she pulled off the top of the garbage can and tossed her breakfast into the bag. For some reason, she felt scared. Scared of being alone for the week.

Scared of being alone with that voice in her head.