Disclaimer: I don't own Trek or "If I Could Turn Back Time"

Set in-between making it back to Earth and Spock requesting to be Jim's First Officer, based on Cher's 'If I Could Turn Back Time'

This might have been done before, but this is my take on it. It's Ramoth's fault.

Reach the Stars

The Enterprise was humming with life once more. She had been in dry dock for three weeks as engineers, under Scotty's watchful eye, worked around the clock to repair the structural damage done during the Narada attack. While her crew had been on Earth, trying to once more to search beyond the heartache and loss to repair their own souls. Star Fleet Psych had met individually with each surviving member trying to help those who had been chosen to survive by some cosmic force remember what they had fought for, what they had left to live for and find meaning in the new universe they found themselves in. All the officers, save one, had been wrapped in a cocoon and protected from the outside world.

Jim had been pulled in every direction at once. His mother had been at the shipyard when the crew had beamed down. Kisses, hugs, tears and pride had been rained upon her son, not his father's son for the first time he could remember. Star Fleet Command had held a dedication ceremony for in his honor because they thought he had been the one to save the day. Chekov, Sulu, Scotty and Spock had not been honored, no one thought the center of attention had noticed, but he knew they had been cheated. He had put on his best fake-smile to answer their applause.

Bones had wanted him to stay with the group as much as possible because he knew Jim did not need to be alone right now. Chekov and Sulu provided constant entertainment and companionship which was a relief from the overbearing protectiveness of both Bones and his mother. Uhura had even come out of the wood work to be a constant figure at his side. He had learned that she and Spock had broken up, so Bones was making sure that she wasn't alone either.

Spock… Spock was the one constant in his mind and the one figure that had not crossed his path since they had returned to Earth. Jim was sure he was off some where amongst the few left of his own kind or even with his older self, even though he knew now that Spock would not seek solace from the others. He would be some where alone, dealing with the death of his mother in his own way. Spock was an outcast, the only person who had accepted him for who he was had died at the hands of that sick monster.

Jim couldn't fight the pain that blossomed in his chest when he turned to his side and found someone other than Spock standing there, looking up at him with a smile, because his stoic Vulcan would never crack a smile in public. Although he and Spock had only worked side-by-side for less than thirty-six hours, he had grown accustomed to having him next to him, supporting him, offering his insight to help the young captain. All of the applicants for First Officer had been found wanting, no match for the man far wiser than his years who had all but abandoned him.

If only Jim had not been forced to say such horrible things on the bridge, if only he could take back those words, but he could no more do that then reach out and touch a star. Those terrible words had wounded the Vulcan, deep down to his core; Jim had seen it in those perfectly symmetrical chocolate eyes. Had he been human, Jim was sure he would have cried his heart out on that bridge, after he had finished choking the acting captain to death. Jim could only hope those acidic words had not tarnished the love Amanda had for her son in his mind.

And yet, the residual memories (a term he learned after hours of researching mind melds) burned in his mind as if they had been their own. Spock Prime had not meant for such intimate thoughts to have escaped during the meld, Jim was sure, but it had happened and now Jim was left with such heart ache over what might have been between him and his Spock because of the old man's memories of his love, his Jim. Those memories that had shown him the depth of the love between their counterparts in the universe where Nero had not ruined everything, the same memories that kept him up at night hoping for a chance to right the wrongs he had committed against Spock.

Jim should have apologized as soon as the threat of Nero had been eliminated. He should not have just expected Spock to have understood that he had only said those ghastly words to obtain control of the ship to save Earth. The great James T. Kirk was too strong to say he was sorry, too proud to say he might have been in the wrong. Now his world his shattered, he is torn apart. The one chance he might have had at true happiness has been ripped from his clutches. The Hero of the Federation, the Captain of the Enterprise had lost everything when Spock had left the ship.

The Youngest Captain of Star Fleet was forced to hide his wishes behind his grin and sweep his heartache under his gold tunic. No longer would he be able to delay maturity, he was now responsible for over four hundred lives. Turning back time was impossible, he must play with the hand life had dealt him in this alternate reality torn from the threads of space.

So it was with a heavy heart that he deceitfully bounced upon the bridge of the ship ready to leave behind his heart for a five year mission. They had been ready to jump to warp when the air lock hissed open to reveal a smug looking Vulcan. Jim had to mentally restrain himself from pouncing Spock, from wrapping his logical counterpart in a bear hug. His lips curled into an automatic smile as he welcomed his only choice for a First Officer aboard. Maybe Jim could reach the stars after all.

A/N: Thanks for reading. I am insanely proud of this, hopefully it isn't total crap.

Reviews would be adored forevermore!

I don't own an Ipod, I'm probably the only person I know who doesn't, so I'm going to do drabbles on some of my fav old-school songs.

Up Next Bonnie Raitt's 'Let's Give 'Em Something To Talk About'