It was almost time. In a few moments, she would permanently leave this pitiful life. She had spent months saving as much money as she could, but she could not wait any longer. She had to leave. Reaching under the bed for the bag that she had already packed with as much of her few belongings as she could, she took one last glance at the old picture on her bedside table. Seeing the happy faces of her mother, father and her made her heart lugubrious, but she had made her decision. She had to follow through with it, even as her perspicacious mind vacillated between it and the small unwavering hope that refused to be logical. As she stared at the faded photograph, her thoughts digressed back to the happiness of the past.
Everything had been perfect. Her mother had been sweet and loving while her father always had a smile and hug especially for her. Her parents never became angry; they were always patient and understanding. Her life was unparalleled. They had family outings and picnics at parks. They spoiled her with teddy bears and everything a girl could need or want. But it all ended when that day came.
It had been an ordinary nondescript day. She had been ten and her parents were supposed to go to her elementary school graduation. Her father had to work, so her mother went ahead and they were to meet up at their seats. As she waited in her seat next to her excited classmates, she searched the crowd of parents and students for her mother. Her father appeared right as she was called on stage and waved at her, but she was too busy looking for her mother. She never came.
That night, while her father thought she was in bed, she hid behind the railing of the stairs and watched as her father cried, not knowing the cause for the tears or how to comfort him. After he had finally fallen asleep, she tiptoed from her hiding place to the livingroom couch he slept upon. Studying his tear streaked face, she vaguely wondered the cause of her once stoic father's distress. Then she saw it. A note crumpled in his right hand.
Gently, she pried his fingers apart so as not to disturb him. As she pulled the paper from his grasp, she immediately noticed her mother's flowery scribbles. Reading the short letter, the implications it brought did not dawn on her till she had read it a minimum of nine times.
Her mother had left them. And she was never coming back. Finally understanding the reason for her father's tears, her innocent mind attempted to repudiate the contents of the letter. She tried to convince herself that the letter hadn't been serious, that she and her father had overreacted; that her mother would walk through the front door, all smiles, explaining that she hadn't meant the letter to make her absence sound so permanent.
This was all she could think as she slowly walked up the stairs to her room. Closing the door behind her, she consolidated herself with thoughts that her mother would be home with a smile tomorrow morning, with breakfast waiting.
Waking up the next morning, the events of last night rushed into her mind and she raced down stairs to find her father still on the couch and the cold house empty of the happiness that once consumed it.
Everything had gone down hill from there. Her father could not cope with her mother's absence, resorting to alcohol to numb the pain. He became violent and lost his job, while blaming her for his misery. The little money they had was wasted on his cigarettes and beer, leaving their home to fall into disrepair.
Thrusting the painful memories from her mind, she hurried to the decrepit front door. Pausing for a final glance around the bland living room, Kaoru walked through the door and disappeared into the misty night.
