When the beers are all finished and Nathan extinguishes his cigarette, he suggests breakfast to the group. Some proper fry ups and all of the juicy, disgusting details about Simon's evening. Still smiling, Simon just nods. He feels good, real good. When Nathan throws an arm around his shoulder in camaraderie he feels accepted, for real, for the first time in his life.
The other three bow out for various reasons. Simon spends about thirty seconds contemplating the hurt look that's hovering on Alisha's face before Nathan drags his attention back to breakfast. Simon is buying; Alisha and her broken-hearted expression are forgotten in the excitement of the moment.
She hides her hurt away in his apartment. Proper Simon's apartment, the one she's in love with, not the poor fool who's just had his first go. She buries her face in his sheets and cries until she can't remember why she ever thought this whole affair was a good idea. How could he have, knowing what was coming?
She prays to whatever god will listen to make this pain go away. She knows no one is listening and cries harder.
He's just thirty six hours deflowered when everything he thinks is right in his life ends. Jessica can't even bother giving him a smile as she tells him she can't do this, whatever this is, with him. Circumstances being what they are, he will eventually acknowledge that she is probably right. At this moment though, all he can think of is escape. He's out the door before the coupon he was holding hits the floor.
Jessica's retreating figure, her hurried steps, makes him wish that he could turn back time. He'd be a right proper Doctor if he could manage time travel, he thinks.
Hope leads her to his laptop. Some sliver of the future with the two of them. That's all she's looking for. She finds nothing. Everything has been wiped leaving behind a clean OS. She cries again in frustration. Sometimes she thinks she'll never catch the sound of his breath exhaling again. At moments like this she thinks she'll never be able to stop hearing his life slip away in that last gasp.
She so desperately wants to wrap herself in his arms and forget the last few days.
She falls asleep in his bed with his pillow crushed to her face.
He should still be grinning, she thinks, having just had his first real sexual experience. But Simon isn't smiling as he pulls on his jump suit. She can almost feel the misery pouring off him. Alisha approaches slowly, concerned. Her hand on his shoulder doesn't startle him. He can't even look her fully in the eye when he glances back at her. Her heart breaks all over again for him.
She apologizes before she even realizes she's doing it or what she's apologizing for. His hard stare, the one Nathan so easily mocked, cuts through her. This is what the future Simon knew was coming. This pain in his life. For whatever reasons. It was shit of him to spoil the punch line, she thinks, but if this is what happened then that means they're still on the path to each other. This thought puts a soft smile on her face that the Simon in front of her isn't expecting. Alisha hates and loves both the future and present Simon at that moment.
