NOW OR NEVER: The First Time
She walked in; saw him, hesitated and made coffee, coffee for one. He watched her carefully; his hands clasped together, elbows on desk, and his tie loose. She hadn't spoken to him all week, not even a "congratulations" on the new kid, which turned out to belong to his high school best friend; needless to say any hope with reconciling things with the wife had flown out the window.
He watched her regard her surroundings, the silence of the empty bullpen hung thickly in the air between them – he at his desk and she by the coffee pot. There used to be a time when the quiet was just that – quiet, and nothing was hanging in the air between them, making them shift in their seats and steal awkward sideways glances at each other.
She took a sip of coffee and walked. Again she hesitated by her desk, and momentarily considered sitting, he tried to catch her eyes, but she was determined. She started to walk out.
As if the scene wasn't cheesy enough, the slow motion atmosphere not helping any, he took this as his one chance – his final chance to… to do something he still had no idea whatever the hell "it" was going to be, but he could feel the panic growing in his chest and he knew that if he let her walk out, it wouldn't just be for tonight.
In a swift movement, he stood, grabbed her arm, and pulled her back.
Her eyes met his, and he saw that they were tired. He didn't move his arm from hers.
"Liv," he began with no idea where he was going.
"Elliot, it's late," she said softly, her eyes dropping. She stepped back, and he allowed his arm to fall to his side. She placed the coffee cup on her desk, "I have to go," and again she began to walk out. He stopped her again.
"Liv, wait," he said, this time noticing tears in her eyes. He moved his hand from her upper arm and down to her hand. She looked away.
"Elliot, I really have to go," she whispered.
He pulled her into a hug, letting go of her hand and wrapping both of his arms around her waist. He pulled her closer to him, but not far enough so that they were fully connected. She wasn't breathing. He waited.
Slowly, she exhaled, and inhaled as she snaked her arms around his neck, and pulled him into her. He moved his face into her neck, and she tightened his hold on him.
They pulled apart, but only far enough so they could see the other's face. Barely an inch between them, they were breathing the same air. She didn't look at him, and bowed her head a little.
Now, or never.
He kissed the corner of her lips, slowly. She pulled back, shocked. Her eyes widened, and he allowed himself a small smile. The tears that had been forming in her eyes fell, one, and then two, and then she kissed him – slowly at first, but soon they responded to each other, their lips and tongues connecting for the first time electrified every cell in their bodies.
Suddenly, she pulled apart from him, and moved a good five feet away. Short of breath, they both stood there, not saying a word. Their eyes met, and she walked out.
The elevator doors opened, and she walked inside. She didn't look back. If she looked back, she knew she wouldn't be able to leave. She used her thumb to wipe the corner of her lips, brushing the spot where he first kissed her. Her heart was beating so hard she thought it might literally stop.
And then it did. She'd left him standing there, alone in the bullpen, breathing heavily from their kiss, their first kiss, and she'd left. Slowly, a painful twinged grew in her chest, and pulled at the backs of her eyes, and she needed to cry again.
The elevator doors slowly drew to a close, but a hand stopped them, and they opened once again. Her eyes shot to the man she left. Elliot stood in the doorway, determined. He walked towards her, placing one hand on her lower back, the other cupping her face, and he pushed her against the back wall of the elevator. She let out a heavy sigh of relief, and kissed him, hard.
The elevator doors closed.
