Disclaimer: I don't own dynasty warriors, Koei does.
Also, I realize I've posted this story before but I've made slight modifications to it. Mostly it's grammatical because my grammar sucked when I was 13. I'm so sorry if it was flipped to the front page once again… this is super old you guys…
Enjoy~
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Chapter 1- Xiao Qiao's tale
"RISE, BUGS!" Lu Bu said swinging his halberd at the jury as the judge came in. They trembled and stood then sat down as the judge rose his hand.
"Sit, please." Zhuge Liang said and banged his gavel on the stand.
"YOU HEARD THE FOOL! SIT SIT SIT!" Lu Bu screeched and threw his halberd at the jury. It flew into Yuan Shao's head who died immediately.
"HOORAY!" the jury yelled and there was much rejoicing.
"Order! Order in the court! ORDER I SAY!" Zhuge Liang repeated slamming down the gavel again and again.
"SILENCE! THERE WILL BE SILENCE!" Lu Bu Yelled jumping up into the jury benches. He grabbed another's sword and hacked up three more people as the jury went silent. Satisfied, Lu Bu went back to stand by the Judge after retrieving his weapon from Yuan Shao's head.
Zhuge Liang raised an eyebrow at Lu Bu. "Errr, thank you for the silence, Lu Bu."
"You are most welcome, scum." he replied flatly.
A sweat drop arose on Zhuge Liang's head. "Will the defendants please enter the court room." he announced smoothing out his robe nervously.
The doors opened and Sun Ce, Zhou Yu, Da Qiao, and Xiao Qiao entered. Zhou Yu looked at Zhuge Liang. "WHAT! HE IS THE JUDGE! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! AN OUTRAGE I TELL YOU! I OBJECT!" Lu Bu shot him a death glare so he shut up and sat down grumbling.
Zhuge Liang smirked "Will the plaintiffs please enter the court room." He announced once again.
This time Sima Yi, Cao Pi, and Cao Cao entered the room and sat down. Sima Yi opened his mouth to object also, however, Lu Bu had seen it coming and charged over. His face was inches from Yi's. "Do you have something to say, insect?" he said in a voice menacing enough to make a shiver travel up your spine.
Sima Yi quickly shut his mouth and shook his head 'no'. Cao Cao yanked his head over and started staring at the Two Qiaos. A bit of drool was leaking out of his mouth. The two sisters made a disgusted look and moved a far away from him as they could. "COME BACK! I LOVE YOU!" Cao Cao said attempting to get out of his seat, and he would have had not Lu Bu hit him with the end of his weapon causing Cao to fly back into his chair.
Zhuge Liang shook his head. "Let us continue. Lord Lu Bu, the papers, please." Zhuge Liang said. Lu Bu threw the papers at him. "Thank you lord Lu Bu." He replied picking a sheet from his hat. "Lord's Sun Ce and Zhou Yu, and Ladies Da Qiao and Xiao Qiao, you are charged with first degree murder of Lord Zhang He in a time of peace. How do you plead?"
Xiao Qiao and Sun Ce jumped up from their seats. "GUILTY!" they yelled all at once.
The elder Qiao rolled her eyes while Zhou Yu smacked his head and pulled them back. "We are innocent." he said glaring at the two.
Xiao looked confused "But I thought that we-" Zhou Yu quickly put his hand over her mouth.
"Excuse her, your honor." he grumbled and sat down dragging Xiao back onto the bench.
Zhuge Liang sighed. "Will the Wei party please present its case to the court."
Sima Yi stood up. "I would like to call Xiao Qiao to the stand." the young woman skipped over to the stand and sat down bubbling like an idiot.
Lu Bu came up to Xiao Qiao with a bible in his hand. He took a piece of paper from his pocket and began to read the contents quietly. "#1. place hand on bible then... Okay, I can do this!" He cleared his throat and held out the large book to her. "Place your left hand on this bible and raise your right, good, now do you swear to the truth the whole truth and nothing but so help you God?"
"Sure do!"
Lu Bu smiled, obviously happy with himself and went back to stand by the judge.
Sima Yi came forward "Yes, Lady Qiao, what happened from your point of view on the 15th of June?" he asked placing both hands on the table.
"Well, Me, my sister, and our husbands were having a barbecue on one of those cute little grills out in an open field out side of Wu... We, well I, was talking about how great my level 11 weapons are... they are so cool! The cute little pandas and the awsomest name: Fatal grace!"
"Please continue, Lady Qiao, we don't have all day." Zhuge Liang said tapping his index finger impatiently. "And 'awsomest' isn't a word."
Xiao stuck her tongue out at him. "Well, the others seemed to be distracted, like we were looking for something. Then suddenly Sun Ce said 'Yeah, Tofu is great, better than anything I know.' naturally, I think this made sis mad because she wasn't the best to him... She really is but he wasn't thinking." Xiao said drawing an invisible pattern on the table. Da rolled her eyes at the ignorance of her sister. "Well, sis kicked Sun Ce, hard, he then flew back and a crash was heard. When I looked behind me, Sun Ce lay on the ground moaning besides Zhang He who hit his head on a rock and died... and that's all I remember."
Wei's strategist blinked "All right, you may return to your seat." Sima Yi said as Zhuge Liang and the Jury gathered what was just said. "I would now ask Sun Ce to tell his story." He said pointing a finger at the Little Conqueror.
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To be Continued~
