Dear fanfiction,

I am seriously worried about the state of your writers sanity.

Why? Because:

i. they're all stalkers.

I swear on the incredibly sexy Masafumi Goto that they are. Every single one of them are stalkers. I would bold, italic, caps and underline that previous sentence if it didn't look weird, to get that through your thick, stalkerish skulls. After 10 minutes of casually looking through this site I've learnt that half, no scratch that all of your writers seem to know my last name, my first name, my friends, my school's adress, my occupation, my life, and y'know pretty much my very existence. I mean, did I leave my identity around your place last week? Because last I checked, my student ID was safe at home, I don't give info out abotu myself and...what the hell? Nagihiko...Me! Oh my lord. You freaks paired me up with Nagihiko. Of all people? Did you stalkers forget that I hate him, or was it left out from your black books? Or did you simply decide that you're going to ignore me and pretty much torture me with that...that...trash?

...I can't even call you stalkers because of that. Now, oh now, you're all just...Nagihikos! Yes. I'll use the one name I hate the most in world to describe you equally horrible...Nagihikos.

See fanfiction! You see this horror called stalking? Do ya?

ii. they're mentally unstable, and probably have bad vision.

Anyone okay up there would use common sense and match me up with the incredibly hot Masafumi Goto, instead of that WOman beast, Nagihiko. Yes, WOman. Because Nagihiko is a mixture of both genders, thus rendering him horribly, horribly unattractive, bitchy, and...Nagihiko-y. That's right Nagihikos, I went Oxford Dictionary (Nagihiko-y is a real verb, go Google it!) on you. I mean, if you Nagihikos had eyes, or good eyesight in the first place then you'd realize by now that I hate him, I wish he was dead, and or maybe have him fall down the stairs and get amnesia then never set foot near me, ever. But...you don't. So you didn't realize it.

See, Mister F, it's called bad eye-sight. (And you know, Nagihikos, it's bad to stare at the computer screen for too long...OH! MAYBE THAT'S WHERE YOUR BAD EYE-SIGHT CAME FROM!)

iii. they can't be human.

They just can't. Seriously. Mr. Head-of-Fanfiction, or whatever, you have a case of aliens frequenting this sit or something like that. I mean, any good hearted, normal, and pure human wouldn't torture an innocent, petite, kind-hearted blonde like myself by writing...that horror. I mean do you need help running your site, because I could help make things better. I mean, first of all I'd ensure that these stalkers wouldn't stalk other poor innocent Japanese folk like myself...oh heck, screw that. Just tear the damn site down. Or do something! I swear, if I wake up tomorrow morning to see creepy chicks staring at me as I sleep murmuring nonsense like, "Omigosh, Nagi-kun should be cuddling her! Where is he? GO GET HIM. RIGHT NOW!" Then I'm going to sue. I swear to all things holy, I will sue you.

CONCLUSION.

Mister Fanfiction, you either have stalkers, aliens, Nagihikos or even all three making your fine website, horrible and sickening. So, unless you want a lawsuit on your hands, maybe you should talk to your 'writers' about the next time they decide to write...gag...Rimahiko.

With love,

Rima.