Distractions

A Twilight FanFiction

She knew all along he was using her. It was clear from the moment he

asked her to change her face. He had never deceived her, though she

knew he felt terrible about ever having been with her. He had never

said he loved her, never even said her name. She knew all this.

Then why did she let him use her?

She was not a weak person- using person in the loosest sense, of

course. She had never needed a man, and as a vampire she was beautiful

enough to have any one she wanted anyway.

She loved him. That was the hardest thing to admit. She loved him, and he

had never loved her. He'd needed her- he was living in an attic in

Brazil when she found him- but he'd never loved her.

He'd loved the human. She'd known that all along too. She'd asked him

what was wrong. He'd told her, and because she loved him, she'd done

what she could to make it better.

It had helped him. She was essentially a good person, so she was glad

that he was happy with his human.

She actually visited the human, during those glorious months he was

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hers. She'd seen what it was like for him, without her, all along, and

the first minute she saw the human, she knew that love and need was

returned.

She was glad they were happy. Some days, when she felt particularly

masochistic, she would even go watch them together. He was so

different now. He was a whole person, not the half-man she'd known.

His human practically shone with joy. She was happy for them.

Why then did she want to kill the human?

Because she wanted to kill all humans. But this was a different

bloodlust. It had nothing to do with the sweet scent of the girl, and

everything to do with love.

She was not a jealous or cruel person. She was happy for them.

Wasn't she?

Yes, she was. In all honesty, from a completely objective perspective,

the emotion of jealousy was far overshadowed by love for him and

relief for the girl. She had seen what happened to the girl when he

left, and she knew what the girl needed. That was her power. As a

human, she had been both insightful and creative, both intelligent and

caring, and so she had a doubled power. She could see what people

needed most, and she could give it to them. Not always exactly, of

course. She had been unable, at first, to lead him back to the mortal.

But she had done what little she could to heal his heart.

She had been glad she could, because she loved him so much. It hurt

her to see him in pain, and she was glad when he went back to his

human.

She'd always known he would, from the moment she'd seen into his

broken heart. He needed the human, and there were two paths. He could

leave her the moment he met her, and then she would be unable to put

her power to work. Or he could stay, and give her some time, and

someday go back to his human.

She was glad the second one had happened. She was happy with him for

at least a little while, and then he was glad. She had given both him

and the human what they needed. And so she was glad.

She WAS.