Pansy Parkinson thought the last straw came when she saw her longtime friend Draco Malfoy strike down Neville Longbottom under the effects of the Imperious. Then she realized that no, she actually did have a little bit left in her, when Draco came to her room in the middle of the night drunk and disorderly.
After he raised his wand to his temple, she looked into his eyes and saw the life drain from the silver leaving them a flat grey. Yeah, no, she was done.
Pansy had always been much smarter than everyone in Hogwarts had given her credit for, and she always knew Voldemort was coming back. Because no matter how insane he was now, he used to be a genius, and geniuses always had backup plans, which is why sometimes she couldn't imagine why she thought it a prudent decision to join the Death Eaters.
Sure, it was what was expected of her from her family and friends. She had been raised indoctrinated with the ideals of Pureblood values, and though she had believed in blood purity for most of her Hogwarts years as soon as her seventh year rolled around she realized what folly it was to believe one blood was better than the other, mostly as it pertained to her actually having to now risk her life for her beliefs. However, when she thought of that last day at Hogwarts, every reason that she had needed to join stared her right in the eyes.
Then why did she stay? Pureblood values. Not only was she branded with the Mark, but so was her entire family, including her little sister Lilac despite the fact she was only just born during Pansy's sixth year. It was when Pansy saw the Dark Lord take her seven-year-old sister's tiny arm and brand her did she realize what kind of hot mess she had let herself step into.
Her family was in danger. Her friends were dying off.
These were the reasons why she was currently situated inside of Hogwarts Library with Blaise Zabini, looking around in the Restricted Section a book his mother told him would open to the ritual they needed the most.
Blaise had changed in the years since their schooldays. His features that were already so handsome were now chiseled and sharpened by struggles and worry. His slanted eyes never held that old spark of arrogance he had always carried around anymore, instead holding something much darker and worrying. Sometimes he looked at her with those eyes and she felt like she was falling down a dark hole.
She wondered if she had changed too.
"Why in the world would they leave a book this valuable in a school library?" Pansy scoffed, yanking her hand away from the biting spine of a particularly nasty book. Blaise shot her a little smirk, and she flipped him off. Sometimes she was stunned as to how he maintained that sense of humor, but who was she to begrudge it?
"Safest place in the world," Blaise replied, not missing a bit of the mocking irony needed to make that statement. She looked over to the skeleton in the corner of the room, ragged Hufflepuff colors still hanging around its frame. Yeah, real safe.
It was only due to the apparent backup spells put in place for this very reason that the books were not ruined by rain, as they would be in any regular library due to the largely missing ceiling. The halls now rang empty, only a ghost of it's former glory. If Pansy listened closely she could still hear the footsteps of all of the children. So many were dead now. She wondered sometimes if the British wizarding population would be able to sustain themselves after this. She still doubted it
"Pansy, I think I have it."
Pansy turned around to see Blaise surrounded by the same stack of books he had been looking through for the past hour. She had been getting anxious. If they had been known as more loyal Death Eaters, they could have been gone for days and no one would have cared. However, many were starting to suspect their alliance with the Order. The only reason they weren't dead yet was that the Dark Lord needed bodies. They couldn't be away for too long, though, or they'd surely be branded traitors.
He handed her a deep blue book covered with silver runes. Pansy could practically feel the power coursing through her fingers when she touched it, and she gave a little shiver. The tome was heavy in her hands, and from the script on the from she knew this particular book had been around for a very long time. Some of the old, powerful magics were lost to memory and unfortunate book burning. These were the magics she was going to call upon to save herself and her family.
"Are you sure this is it?" Pansy asked in a whisper. It was ridiculous, but her days in the now abandoned castle as a student had conditioned her too well, and she still had some deeply ingrained fear that Madam Pince would catch her. The woman had always been a little harder on her than everyone else. Though of course, the woman was long dead. By her reluctant hand.
Blaise raised a single eyebrow at her. It was odd how she was usually the more impulsive one. "It is the one my mother described. Now open it, and let's see what's inside for us."
For a moment, Pansy hesitated. What she found in this book could very well change their entire lives. She rubbed her thumb against the rough fabric, probably an old linen or cotton that had been magically preserved, and took a deep breath. The book resisted her for a moment, and she thought she could see a twist of orange pulse beneath her skin before the tome opened.
Immediately a bright white light burst forth, and the pages whipped past in a rapid motion. The magic, ancient as time itself reached into her. No longer was she surrounded by the library. In that moment Pansy saw men and women struck down, bloody pregnancies, smiling children, cities erected, the deepest secrets of magic itself.
Just as suddenly as it began, it stopped. The light receded and the book landed on a single, yellowed page. It took a moment of blinking for Pansy to get her vision back, but when she did she peered at the paper in curiosity.
Quando Revertatur
"Time Turns Back," she translated in a reverent voice. Of course. It was far too late to save their world the way it was now, but if they went back they could change things for the better.
She scanned the page eagerly, her brain translating the latin almost faster than she could read it. The ritual would send her soul and part of her magical core back to her body at whatever point in her life that she wished it to, along with one select item of her choice "to ease the ache of a permanent separation from her previous life".
It was bloody brilliant.
Pansy looked up at Blaise and smiled, the first genuine smile that had graced her face in years. Blaise noted that it had a way of lighting up her features, making her easily one of the most beautiful witches he had ever met. Of course, he had already lost the most beautiful one twice.
"Blaise, we can go back." Pansy whispered, her excitement swirling up and out of her. She handed the book to him and he scanned it as well, before handing the book back to her before looking at her with a dark expression she didn't notice.
"Should we give this to the Order?" She questioned. Blaise closed his eyes and concentrated, pressing his wand to the Mark on his left arm. After a moment, he shook his head.
"Death Eaters, hundred miles out somewhere. It'll only take them about fifteen minutes to get the order to come find us, another fifteen to find us. We still can't apparate from here." Pansy looked a bit disappointed for a moment, before perking back up. Blaise knew she was probably let down by the fact she would never get the chance to prove herself to their pompous arses now. Her eyes were filled with a determined fire that made them glow like sapphires.
"This is perfect, we can go back and change everything. We can save our families, our friends. We don't have to live in fear anymore..." Pansy rambled on and on, and Blaise grinned ruefully at her. She certainly had an indomitable spirit, his Pans. Unfortunately, he didn't.
"Pansy, I can't go." Blaise said, breaking her speech. Pansy stopped, and now her bright blue eyes lost a bit of their fire and instead filled with a sadness that was so familiar to him it hurt.
"Pans, I just can't. I can't just go back. When you came in and saw me with my wand this morning, I was about to...well, just be lucky you caught me then." He spoke with a heaviness in his voice that bespoke of years of pain, and Pansy was reminded just of how much Blaise had been through in the years of the war.
He had to watch his house get invaded and his mother raped and murdered by Death Eaters of the uttermost circle so that they might be promoted to being one of the Dark Lords favored. He had to watch Hannah Abbott, one of his best friends and playmates from when he was younger, die. He lost Draco and Theo, his two best friends for the duration of Hogwarts and beyond. He was put under the Imperius and...sometimes Pansy still had nightmares of Ginny's hair spilled like blood on the ground around her still form.
Everyone had a breaking point. Blaise was certainly much stronger than most, but he was undefeatable. No one was.
"I can't go back like this, I'm too damaged, and if this works I'll cease to exist." Blaise smiled again, and maybe this smile was a little too happy. "It was what I was planning to do in the first place." Seeing her hurt expression, some of the glee left his features.
"You can do this Pansy. You're stronger than any of us ever were and you'll do whatever it takes for there to be a better future for all of us. A good future. A normal future."
Pansy took a step back, and ran a shaking hand through her short dark hair. Her thoughts whirled through her brain faster than a snitch, and she was filled with fear. Go back to the past, with no one else? No one to back her up, no one to lean on? No one who loved her?
For a moment, she was frozen. It had taken her a long time to get where she was with her friends, and now all of that would be gone.
But then, something took a hold of her, and she stood stock still. It felt as if a fire was coursing through her body, burning away all of her fear, and instead leaving a sort of stubborn determination. Yes, she was still afraid, but it was a little nagging thought in the back of her head.
What she wanted to do, it was right. It needed to be done. And nothing would stop her from succeeding at not only saving herself and Blaise but the entire world. An image of little Lilac with those big brown eyes flashed in her head, and that determination and courage ingrained itself even further into her till it became a part of her very DNA.
This must be what Gryffindors feel like.
She swallowed. No wonder they were always so willing to leap forward into their half-baked schemes for "the greater good".
That same courage wiped the tears from her eyes and made her stand up straighter. A strong and sure voice she didn't recognize slipped past her lips. "Right then. Well, the ritual is simple. We could probably do it right here."
Pansy looked about at the area around her. No one had been in here in so long that the floor was covered in a thick layer of dust. It shimmered like gossamer in the sunshine that shone through the partially destroyed roof.
She set the book down on a nearby table, and together, she and Blaise began to trace the required runes in the dust, creating a circle of intricate design. As she got into the more detailed work, Blaise put up some preliminary runes. They wouldn't hold anyone for long, however it would be enough for them to protect themselves to a certain extent. It was all done in relatively short order, and before they knew it, it was time.
Pansy stood in front of her old friend. Before she could say anything, he cupped the back of her head in his hand and crushed his lips against hers. It wasn't a romantic kiss or anything of the sort. No, this was a kiss of fear and connection and hope. Hope for a better future, hope for a better them, hope for a better life.
He pulled back, and leaned his forehead against hers for a long moment. They didn't have much more time, the other Death Eaters would come for them soon.
Blaise let go of her and stepped back, and she smiled sadly.
"I'll miss you." she said sadly. He shook his head, and chuckled.
"You'll see me again soon." He tilted his head. "Even if it's not the same as I am now. Hopefully that me will grow to be a much better man. A happier one. You know," he said, with a rueful laugh, "I've always wanted kids."
Pansy rolled her eyes. Of course, he did.
Blaise searched around in the pockets of his coat. They had all began dressing as muggles, because robes just simply weren't practical attire with all of the work they had to do. All of them with the exception of the Dark Lord of course.
"Here." Blaise said, handing her a small brown leather journal. She took it in her hand. It was buttery soft and supple, an Everlasting Journal that never ran out of pages.
"You'll want an ally when you go back. Give this to my younger self, it's the only thing that'll convince him. You know how I was at that age." He smirked, and Pansy nodded in agreement. Just like her, he had been a fool.
She stepped into the circle and Blaise watched her nimbly jump over the runes and walk to the center.
Pansy pulled out her wand. Twelve inches. Oak and unicorn hair.
"Tunc Figere" She intoned, spinning her wand in an eternity sign. In the distance, she could hear shouting, and the clatter of feet against the stone. Spellfire filled the air. But Pansy was not out of time. Within her was all the time in the universe.
"Tunc Nent" She continued, pointing her wand skywards. The runes began to glow, and her magic was questioning, determining the meaning of the ritual and ready to perform her will. The door flew open.
"Avada Kerdava" someone shouted. A bolt of green light hit Blaise in the chest, and she almost screamed. But she had to continue the ritual.
"Quando Revertatur" Pansy said, her wand spinning in a counterclockwise movement just as another strike of green lightning came at her.
However, that green light hit nothing, and Pansy was gone. With the wave of a wand, that timeline was gone, and a new history was written.
I'm not quite sure what the update schedule is going to be on this yet, however I do have a good chunk of this story planned out, though not pairings quite yet. Review with any comments and suggestions.
