Dramatis Personae

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They are pieces of us, and this is their story. We are more than just our Personae. We are the thread that ties all the facets of our humanity together. We are all together. It is only because we write our names on the list that we are players on this stage. It is only by our own free will that we press the metal to our heads and pretend to pretend being someone else. It is by mine own free will that I choose my destiny.

Together we are heroes, heroes without faces, heroes without fame, heroes without family, without recognition, without normal lives. We are burdened by strength and paralyzed by knowledge. The more we know, the more we hurt. When our Personae scream, we shudder inside. When our Personae are hurt, we feel pain. Our Personae are toys of war. We only call on them to shield us when we fight. Our Personae never share with us our triumphs, our loves, and our fears. Our Personae are the cold, silent shields that fit over our faces. The other parts of us are safe. The other parts of us don't need to see the killing. The other parts of us are safe behind the mask. Our Personae are safest when locked deep inside our hearts and forgotten, but they cannot stay there. We need them. We need them to help block our eyes from everything we don't want to see.

It is because we live that we die. It is by confirming our mortality that we affirm our role in life. It is by knowing that we will die that we are able to live. My Evoker is a memento mori—it reminds me of myself. It reminds me of something I can't remember. It reminds me of the thoughts I don't know of and the musings I won't speak. I am the most alone. I exist, but I don't know why.

The clock only goes to twelve. Where is the thirteen? Is it the Dark Hour? Am I the thirteen? Am I the Dark Hour? Every night at thirteen o'clock I die a little inside and I become stronger. I don't know who I am, but I don't care. Death doesn't care if you don't have a name or you hide behind a mask. As long as your name is on the list. As long as my name is on the list. As long as I am in the script. As long as I choose this destiny of mine own free will. I can't control Death. I can't control myself.

Soon the end will come, for me and for us all. Secretly I think my soul is fragmented like the many marbled, jagged pieces of my psyche and the blurry pictures of my past. I walk, talk, and fight every day wearing every mask I've ever owned, one after another. I am a summoner, my Evoker is my wand, and my Persona is my god. I am the summoner. That is all I've ever been, and all I'll ever be.