"She seems to be enjoying herself," I murmured softly.
Thomas glowed radiantly as usual, but his reply seemed slightly sinister when he said, "She's had a couple of drinks, you must excuse her."
"Oh, she would make a pretty queen."
"Nothing's sure yet."
"Ah, but how could it not be? She may be a little flirtatious, and I understand if you are jealous, after all, your are a man foremost! But she is quite a catch, isn't she?"
"Anne, please, stop this."
"I'm being courteous, isn't that what you noble do for fun?"
"You have changed, Anne. I don't think I like it."
"Change?" I barked mercilessly, "I bring about change, I do not change. I watch you change. I watch everyone around me change. But I do not change. I am stone, I am ice. Do not touch me, I fear that I may break you if you reach your hand out. I can crush you if I wanted to, but why would I do that? Do you trust my self-restraint? Do you think that love will keep me from hurting you?"
My words sounded bitter to my ears, far more bitterly than I wished to reveal. At least I was able to murmur the words rather than scream them. I wished that he would hate me. Everything would be easier then.
Thomas's wounded look hurt me more than anything else, but I hid the pain well. Oh, how well I could conceal every thought and emotion! I had years of practice after all. Or perhaps I lied. Maybe I'm so transparent that he sees the torture he inflicted on me. I left him to ponder my cold, hostile words and ventured towards his little prize. Clad in a brilliant scarlet dress ridden with black diamonds, she didn't need to fight anyone to be the center of attention. Well, I would bring the spotlight onto her even more.
I saw her up close for the first time since I came back to Ardonia, and she really was beautiful. Her blond ringlets were piled on her head, layered with pearls and diamonds. Her blue eyes were soft and doe-like, but her knowing smirk and swinging gait dispelled any sign of innocence. She'd probably had a couple of lovers, though Thomas considers her pristine and pure, unlike me. How ironic that I am the virgin, and she the lover!
"Lady Katharine? It seems that we have not yet. I am Anne," I said sweetly, able to disguise my falsetto better than any other lady in this room.
She glanced at me in annoyance, her blue eyes now filled with disdain. She quickly turned her attention back onto me when she saw my face. Her mouth opened slightly, her eyes widening as she took in my beauty. I wanted her to envy me and know that she will never have my Thomas's heart. I admit, I did act a bit like a jealous mortal lover, but it was so much fun. I had feared that I would get bored at court.
"Anne? I've heard that name before. Are you Ardonian? Your accent sounds foreign, it is slight thought. I love accents," she murmured politely. Her eyes were no curious, but I detected a hint of hostility in her actions.
Where had Thomas found this insufferable girl? I hated her instantly, though she really had not said anything offensive. I found my voice and replied, "I am foreign, originally from Gena. I just wanted to introduce myself. It seems that Thomas is particularly enamored by you."
She smiled and drawled, "Yes, he is quite a catch though. Better than any of these rogues here." The young men and women laughed pleasantly, their false masks all alike and strangely blank. The mask of a courtier.
But my mask truly was void of any emotion, partly because I had none at the moment. It was a strange thing. I was angry one minute and empty the next, but what did it matter? I wanted to play, who said anything about revenge? Katharine just seemed too perfect a victim to turn down.
She looked at my silk black shirt and velvet tunic, and then glanced swiftly at my breeches and gleaming boots. Of course, she noted the sword and dagger on my belt like everyone else. She gestured towards them and asked, "Are you training to be a knight as well?" Her mouth curled at the thought of me being a knight, and I knew this because her thoughts were plain to me. Like most ladies, she disdained women fighters.
I replied lightly, "I am no knight in training, my lady. I am a humble soldier, ready for my king to call upon me."
"Oh? And how often does he call upon you?" Her brows raised, I saw the images that sprang in her filthy mind. Of course that's the first thing she thought of, and it was now what everyone around her was thinking.
I concealed my anger well, however. "I have been away for a time, so I have not had the chance, my lady. But rest assured that I am ready now."
And with that, I left Lady Katharine behind me and left the room, flames licking the tips of my fingers as soon as the door slammed behind me. I wished that I could control myself better, but I could do nothing as the familiar tremors took over, and the flames licked and caressed my body, feeling warmth again. I walked outside, sprinting towards the forest, cradling my body on the soft dirt. Fire shot from my fingertips, and I felt the forest burn around me. I watched as the flames soared, realizing that I could do nothing to stop them. And then I knew that I did not want the flames to die.
"He hurt you, didn't he?" a familiar voice asked.
I leapt to my feet and ran to James, hugging him tightly. At that moment, I wanted to be embraced by someone who did not think I was untouchable, even when I was covered in flames. James held me firmly, his powers reaching out to mine. I had lost Thomas forever, and it hurt more than anything, but James could hold me in a way that Thomas never could.
"James," I asked in a wavering voice, "Where will I go?"
He broke our embrace and looked at me intently, his silver eyes just as bright as mine. He smiled and said, "Nowhere. You're staying right here, with me and your family. You aren't expected to leave just because his highness isn't infatuated with you anymore." His words had a biting edge to them.
When he saw my expression, he murmured, "I'm sorry if I was blunt, but I'm right. He'll drop his new girl in a week, you'll see. Mortals just aren't patient enough to wait for the ones they love. Now that I am like you, I know that time is meaningless. I'm yours forever, Anne. Sooner or later, you'll let me into your heart. I'll wait for that day to come."
He leaned in closely and held a strand of my hair, twisting it lithely around his forefinger. His lips met mine, and when he found little resistance, he pursued the kiss eagerly.
His kiss brought warmth to my lips, yet I felt cold inside. I loved James, but I loved Thomas as well, and nothing could alleviate the pain of seeing him with another. I hate seeing her cling to his arm affectionately as he toured her around the gallant room, his cheek pressed against hers for barely a second, but long enough to bring a blush to her warm, alive cheeks. I hated her innocence, hated her cheerful demeanor and carefree soul, because I no longer had that. I hated her for having him.
It was not jealousy, but downright hatred. Sparks flew from my fingertips and crackled in the silence.
But most importantly, I hated him for wanting her. I imagined their bodies entwined around one another, fulfilling repulsive acts of intimacy that I was unable to provide for him. No, I was too cold, too strong, too powerful to be in that state of wanton lust with him, yet I still longed for it, even though I had to deny it from myself. Could I not want a man like any other woman? Could I not feel his heartbeat against mine rather than hear it from afar, behind a thick barrier of stone wall?
I pushed him away and murmured, "I can't do it, James. I can't. I'm sorry." My voice cracked.
An expression of guilt contorted his face. "I should be sorry. I should not have taken advantage. You must be in pain right now."
"I do love you James, but I loved him for so long. Have you ever loved more than one person?"
"I cannot say that I have, but I have seen the results. I will wait for you Anne, like I promised, but I will not share you."
"I would never ask you to."
