Warnings: oocness to a high degree and later on a few songs that are basically nothing but sex

Be aware that if this becomes a series the ratings will change with each chapter, and that it could end at any time.

Now sit back,

relax, and,

enjoy

Chapter 1:

"Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!"

"Come on Kanda, pleeeeeeaaaaasssseeee!!!"

"It's just for fun!"

"Come on do it!"

"C'mon Yuu-chan! Do it fer us!"

"BAKA USAGI! DON'T CALL ME BY THAT NAME!!!"

"Please Kanda?"

Komui managed to quiet the crowds in seconds, a feat that Kanda Yuu found himself envying. Now, after all of his threatening glares and Mugen induced death threats...they would shut up for the idiotic supervisor when all he did was wave his arm?!

"Che..."

The supervisor stood in his place on top of the table and stared directly at the Japanese Exorcist through his glasses, an evil grin on his face that surpassed the grin of the Millenium Earl's himself. Despite his best efforts the nineteen year old couldn't help but shiver in slight fear.

He did not fear pain. He did not fear akuma, no matter what level they were at. He did not fear the Noah. He did not fear the Earl. He did not fear death.

HE DID NOT FEAR WOMEN WHEN THEY WENT ON THEIR MENSTRAUL CYCALS!!!

But he found himself deathly afraid of what the supervisor could, and would do to him if he refused the rest of the Black Order's request.

Yes, that included the Generals which meant that they were all here in this very room. Including Cross who had a current harem running around him.

The Exorcist sighed and stood before leaving the room to get his props. But before he left he dragged Lenalee with him. With the idea he had in mind there was no way he could do this without a girl.

And the only female he trusted in this joint was Lenalee Lee.

Luckily for him Komui seemed to understand and for once didn't over react when his beloved little sister was taken out of the dining hall.

Fifteen minutes later every being in the hall was directed towards the center of the room where a good sized circle was left untouched by the many bodies and tables. Komui stood in the center of said ring with a wide grin on his face and his left arm withheld from his body as his right was folded across his chest.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the supervisor started in an obviously faked deeper tone.

Lavi leaned in closer to Allen who was munching on some chips and muttered, "I think he's takin' this just a lil' bit too far."

Allen nodded, his face too stuffed to respond verbally.

"After much convincing on all of our parts we finally managed to get our stubbern Kanda to participate in our event. So without further ado, I present Yuu Kanda as General Marian Cross and my beloved Lenalee Lee as General Cloud Nyne!"

Cheers were being shouted left and right and Allen noted as the lights dimmed slightly how said General's perked at their names and paid some attention to the going on. White brows furrowed in thought. Just what was Kanda planning having himself and Lenalee impersonating those two? And just how were they supposed to impersonate them in a song?

The cheering and whooting grew louder and longer as said pair made their way to the center of the circle a spot light automatically zooming in on them.

Music started to play from above and both Lavi and Allen noticed Kanda's changed hair style (the color was still the same blue black though, just wavy like Cross's) and their was the mask on the right side of his face. He also had a fake gun in his hand. Lenalee...well the main thing that drew them to her was the toy monkey plastered onto her shoulder.

Kanda waved his hand around before shouting to them all, "Ladies and gentlemen...The Man Song!"

A couple of chuckes followed that but what made it all better was when Lenalee gestured towards him with her hands, "He's the man, he's the man."

A slight suspicious look crossed the real Cross's face.

"I don't take no crap from anyone else but you," Kanda bowed to the lady and more laughter filled the room. Especially when automatically Cross looked sour and Cloud looked smug.

"I wear the pants around here when I"m finished with your laundry..." more laughter and Allen had a difficult time eating through the smile. He may hate Kanda with a passion but finally someone was screwing his master over!!!

"Cause I"m a guy you don't wanna fight," Kanda lifted his free hand at himself and stared at them all with a proud expression. "When I say jump you say 'yeah right', I'm the man of this house until you get home."

General Teidoll was having a blast watching his...child. The biggest grin Allen had ever seen was on the man's face as he watched both his apprentice and his aggravator.

"He's the man, he's the man."

"What I say goes around here," Kanda lifted the gun and glared at her before quickly changing his pose with his words. "Right out the window," one of the Finder's acutally had water spray out of their nose when Kanda quickly turned and tossed the gun out an imaginary window.

Cross was turning red while Cloud was holding in her laughter.

Kanda turned to his friend who had her hands on her hips in the usual woman's fashion of 'exuse me' and pointed at her. "And I don't want to hear a lot of whining," he sat on his heels and covered his mouth, "So I'll shut up."

Allen and Lavi were leaning on each other as General Zokalo rammed the uptight red head on the back.

"The sooner you learn whose boss around here the sooner you can give me my orders dear!"

Kanda winked at the crowd. "Cause I'm head hauncho around here but it's all in my head!"

"He's the man, he's the man."

"And I can have sex anytime that you want," here Cross face dropped in both anger and shock while the other Generals laughed even harder. "Cause I'm a man who has needs but they're not that important."

Kanda got real close to Lenalee now, pointing a finger in her face now that his gun was 'out the window'.

"And don't expect any flowers from me," he quickly got down on one knee, bent his head like he was petrified and had a necklace in his hands high above him like a peace offering. "Cause if I'm not mistaken you prefer jewlery, I'm the king of my castle when you're not around."

Allen's jaw was beginning to hurt when he saw Lavi crying, but his gut ached when he saw his master's pale complextion.

"He's the man, he's the man."

Kanda jumped back to his feet and backed away from her. He puffed out his chest and stuck his thumb at it.

"An' I'll drink and watch sports whenever I want and get in trouble," his chest deflated at that, along with his superior expression.

"And I'll come home when I'm good and ready...to sleep on the couch!

"Cause a man's got to do what a man's got to do," he suddenly pointed at a grinning Lenalee and looked away, as if it was too much to bear watching her. "And I'm gonna do what you tell me to," at this Cross actually stood up and looked as if he was about to make his way over and give a piece of his mind but Zokolo held him back.

Apparently the war monger wanted to finsih this.

"Because I'm top dog around here but I've been neutered!!!"

At this Cross collapsed back down after Kanda covered his crotch and fell onto his behind while the entire hall erupted into fits of uncontrollable laughter that only lessened when they noticed Lenalee was going to say something.

"He's the man, he's the man," she went up to him and patted him on the head, a move that only made Cross deflate even more. "You the man."

As the pair bowed and everyone cheered Allen smirked as he saw his master's ego fly throughout the room like a deflated balloon.

A.N. Well? how was it? good bad? metsa? please do tell and if you liked it and want another, just tell me and I'll be sure to do it.

the song is called "The Man Song" by Tom and Bob who are a couple of comedians.

once again i hope you enjoyed!