Breakaway
Summary: Rogue is a loner, she always has been and always will be…or so she thinks. In a world were human contact has never been truly attainable; one boy may be able to breach the cold surface that is the Rogue. But will his touch be able to help her breakaway from the isolation her life has become or it will spiral her into a deeper kind of insanity?
In some situations you can miss what you never had…but sometimes, having it for a little while and getting it taken away is much worse.
"How can I put it, you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song"
-Kelly Clarkson
"I'm sorry Rogue…it's just-"
"Yah don't hafta say it Scott." I abruptly cut him off; wisps of white hair shadowed my face from his view. "It's fine."
"I didn't mean to make you feel I was interested!" he hurried to explain.
"Yeah, Ah was dumb. Fahget it," I answered, coldly.
It's just…you never seemed to hesitate to talk to me or include me. You always invited me, even when no one else wanted me around. You even held my hand that one time…and even though I could only feel you through faux animal skin, it felt…Amazing.
He looked momentarily regretful, before hesitantly reaching out to touch my clothed shoulder. "You know I'll always be here for you, don't you?"
"It's okay Scott. Ah can look out for mahself, like Ah've always done." I replied firmly, stepping just out of his reach. His hand fell limply at his side, and he gave me a pleading look, laced with sympathy.
I don't need his pity.
"You don't have to be alone Rogue!" he said, warm compassion lacing his tone.
And I almost believed him but…
"Get lost, Summers." I patronized. He gave me a hurt look, but I didn't care. He had hurt me too.
"Is…that how you want it?" he asked. "It doesn't have to be this way! We can still be friends! I want to be your friend!"
"Ah don't need yah friendship." I spat, "Or yah pity. Just leave and go back to Ms. Perfect."
We both know that's what you really want to do.
"When you're ready Rogue…just come and talk to me - about anything. I'll always be here, even if you don't want me."
But God…do I want you.
I gave him a hard stare, "Get. Out."
Then he walked out of my room, taking with him all my fantasies of romance…hope…peace.
Chapter 1 – Since You Been Gone
It's exactly a month from the day that Scott Summers, resident Good Guy Hottie walked out of my life for good. I'm not going to lie; it's been a little awkward…even for me. But I like to think that I handle the situation pretty well for someone who's forced to live with their past love interest, who's dating another girl…who also happens to lives with you. For example, just this morning:
::Flashback::
I was sitting in the kitchen, casually eating the grits I had just finished making about oh …two or three minutes ago, when Scott and Evan walked in. Now mind you, I don't particularly take to either of them really. Evans a little bit obnoxious and Scott…well you know the deal with him.
"Last night's game! Travis's play-" Scott raved excitedly to Evan. They both had walked into the kitchen and begun to prepare their own breakfast at the counter, my existence seemingly nonexistent.
"Oh yeah man, I know. Beau-ti-ful!" Evan shouted, brandishing cutlery. Friday night football…I hate you so.
"And those halftime girls," Evan whistled, "I wouldn't mind taking one of those girls out."
Scott grinned impishly, (now that's an adjective I never thought I'd use describing him. But I guess even the most levelheaded guys are a perverts at heart).
"I know what you mean," he agreed, "Curves in all the right places." He continued, making an hourglass shape with his hands. I thought that would be the perfect opportunity to join the conversation.
"Yah sure Miss Thing would like yah talkin' about otha women like that Summers?" I asked from the table. They both jumped in their places and stared at me. Yes boys, someone else is in the kitchen.
"Ro-Rogue?" Scott stuttered. I smirked inwardly. The one good thing about Scott rejecting me is how off kilter he gets every time I enter a room.
"Sco-Scott," I mocked back at him. He flushed a little, and Evan just looked annoyed.
"Man this is bogus," he said, "You two are ridiculous, just get a room or something." I covered up the pink hue tinting my cheeks by flipping Evan off as he walked out of the Kitchen.
Scott stood where he was for a minute; he looked like he was trying to decide on whether or not he should follow Evan or take a seat next to me.
I made the decision for him. "By all means, Leave," I replied, nastily.
"No, no!" he exclaimed hastily, "I was planning on sitting."
Yeah right. More like planning your escape.
"With lil ol' me? Why thankya Scott," I said, batting my eyelashes sarcastically. Let the awkwardness ensue…
He sat, placing his bowl of cereal down nervously and spilling a little on the table. "Oh jeez," he said sounding a little aggravated, "Can you pass a napkin?"
"Get it yahself, Ah'm done here." I replied, putting my plate in the sink and walking away.
::End Flashback::
Now if you didn't know…what happened there is what I'd like to call progress. Because you see, a little over a week ago I wasn't even speaking to him.
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Late Afternoon.
"Ah hate Saturdays. "
"That's because you have absolutely No Social Life," Kitty told me as she dug through our shared closet, "You need to like, get out more."
I sat on my bed, not very impressed with her solution to my aversion to Saturdays. "Ah'm not allowed to have a social life," I grunted.
"That's because YOU don't allow yourself to have one." She intoned, before pulling out a sky blue strapless dress.
"Does this say 'Take me out for a night on the town' or 'Hi, I'm a slutty hoe hoe'?" she asked me. I rolled my eyes. Why was I even trying to talk to her when she was in 'date' mode?
"The hoe one," I answered, distastefully. And then I said, "Don't yah have anything that's longer than mid thigh?"
Kitty looked confused for a minute, like the idea of buying an outfit that didn't reveal your privates to the world never occurred to her. "Um…do you?" she asked me.
"Ah don't allow mahself to have a social life, remembah?" I replied sarcastically.
Kitty pouted for a bit, and I took pity on her ONLY because she would annoy the hell out of me if I didn't at least try to help. Definitely not because she, and her bubblehead personality, may have grown on me in any way, shape, or form.
"How 'bout this," I say, rummaging through my drawer and pulling out a crumpled purple top.
"Rogue that's so…icksome!" Kitty squealed, "We have to take you shopping! If I wasn't like going out with Alex tonight I would so totally make you go now!"
Yeah, like I'd ever take her up on that offer anyway.
I rolled my eyes, "How'd ya even work that out Kat?" I asked her, "The boy's only here on a three day weekend. He's supposed to be visiting his brother, remembah? Not chasin' skirts."
"We've been, like, IMing since the last time he came over here!" Kitty answered, obviously thrilled with herself.
"Three months ago?" I asked, with a raised eyebrow. I feel a headache coming on.
"Mhm," Kitty sighed dreamily, "Isn't he like totally great?"
"As great as yah can be when yah related to a Summers, Ah guess," I answered sullenly.
Kitty's eyes suddenly brightened with an apologetic look. "Look Rogue, I know that you are, like, donzo with Scott, and you're, like, so not over it yet. And I'd totes be willing to not go tonight if it bothers you that-"
I cut her off sharply, "JUST…have fun." I said, my tone softening at the end. "One of us has too."
Kitty gave me one of those annoyingly supportive smiles, and pulled out the blue dress she had been looking at earlier. "So…are you sure this looks like slutty hoe hoe? Because I always thought it had an elegant feel to it." she said.
I cracked a smile…and for a little while, the world didn't seem as crappy.
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Early morning walks are what I live for. And I'm not talking six or seven; I'm talking two or three in the morning. …More three than two, really, because two is often unexpected drunken traffic hour while three is almost indefinitely, party kid bedtime. If you're not home, you're sleeping over, especially on a Saturday night.
So you see when I have the itch to feel average, a privilege I never get during regular daytime hours, I like to take a stroll out of the safety of the Xavier Institute and into the realm of "normalcy". During this brief stroll (which I usually take two, max three times a month), I like to pretend I'm just an everyday person. And that my poisoned skin, is just like every other person's skin…touchable.
Basically meaning, I wear something of Kitty's that's usually kind of whorish, and pretend like I'm in a busy city, constantly bumping into people with no affect on them what so ever or something like that. …I know it's a little crazy, but I can't help it.
This morning, it's a bit chilly because fall's getting into its groove, and the weathers taking a turn for the worse. So instead of wearing one of Kitty's many summer skirts and tank tops, I have a pair of my own ripped jeans on, along with a dark brown, short sleeved, cropped top of Kitty's. Just the fact that she even owns a neutral color in her closet amazes me.
In every walk I like to put myself in a zone. I turned my Ipod on and flipped to a good country song I'd heard a while back, one of the rare genre's in my collection. The music's really what allows me to relax during these walks so completely. But really, maybe I get too immersed because, just five minutes later, I'm on the ground.
"Ugh! What the fuck did I bump into?" I hear, but I really don't want to open my eyes and see the person who's caught me with no makeup on and ripped jeans, so I keep them shut tight in "fake" pain.
It was only until after, he or she got up (and I'm guessing it's a boy by the sound of the voice and the feel of "his" body), that I realized he'd been touching my bare arms with his bare hands…and I didn't felt a pull. I opened my eyes in shock, but the person was gone. I felt a little shaken, but I resolved myself to finish my walk. Strangely it seemed to take half the time it normally did after the incident…Now what does that mean?
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A " New" Day (Sunday)
I'm basically a wreck. After my walk finished at an abnormally fast pace 'last night', it was like I had ADHD. I washed up in record time, couldn't fall asleep for the life of me, and went out to run laps around the track about thirty times just to get rid of all the extra zest I felt. Than just as abruptly as my extra burst of energy had appeared, it disappeared. I'm telling you it just drained out of me. It was the weirdest feeling…and all of a sudden I was just exhausted. I'm pretty sure I would've passed out but I wouldn't allow myself to, and I managed to drag myself all the way back into the house and up to my shared bedroom with Kitty.
Two minutes later the alarm went off. Holy crap, this day's going to suck.
"Rogue, like, get up!" I heard Kitty's muffled voice say from her bed, "And turn off that alarm!"
Amen to that, Kat, but I'm not moving. We both laid in silence and absorbed the ringing until Kitty got too annoyed and huffing got off her bed and crossed the room, slamming her fist down on the buzzer.
"Ugh, like no more late night movies," she whined, "I can't like stand the hours in this freaking place! "
"Six in the morning and this is our late day!" she continued, "People aren't even in church at this hour!"
Through all my exhaustion I cracked a smile. What can I say, misery LOVES company, and Kitty was definitely miserable right now.
"Chill Kat," I said through the huddle of my blankets, "Get ready or we'll be late for the 'Danger Room'."
"You should talk," Kitty grumbled, "You're not even out of bed yet."
Hmm…true point.
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The Danger Room
We headed for our session late that day…basically because of me and my lethargic state. Needless to say Kitty was freaking out, her being Miss Punctual and all.
"Like, ugh! Rogue what is up with you?!" Kitty asked in a hassled tone. Her hair was mussed, and her face flushed from dragging me down the hall with her as she speed walked.
"Ah didn't get much sleep," I muttered, trying to get free from her iron grip. All I have to say is, she is just lucky that I'm wearing my uniform because if I wasn't I would've just drained her in the hallway and went back to bed.
"When do you ever!" Kitty snapped, "I can't be late!" she exclaimed, more to herself than to me.
"Oh…but yah are," I replied, grinning maliciously.
Kitty turned around to reply when she ungraciously smashed into the Danger Room door. Scott opened it in a flourish.
"Nice of you to finally join us," he said, authoritatively, while gesturing us inside. Ugh, I hate when he gets all control freak on us.
Kitty and I walked in quietly, our eyes averted from Scotts condescending gaze. I'm ashamed to say it but sometimes Scott really does seem intimidating when he gets into his "leader" mode.
The X team was assembled in a straight rigid line, choreographed by none other than Scott himself, of course. Most of the younger kids looked bored and tired, while the veterans just looked a little annoyed. At the far end of the line, Alex waved us over. I walked over reluctantly, while Kitty practically pranced to the spot next to him.
He winked at her and she blushed. …I just sighed.
"You haven't missed anything," Alex whispered, "King Scott was just lecturing us on Danger Room safety."
Kitty giggled and I suppressed my would-be smile into a grimace. What can I say? I just don't like interacting with people.
"Alex!" Scott yelled, making the three of us jump. "Care to explain what I just said?"
Alex rolled his eyes, "Chill Scott, I was just-"
"Just not paying attention," Scott reprimanded, shaking his head in disappointment. He was about to say more when Jean coughed, getting his attention.
"Maybe you should just start the simulator?" she suggested with a smile. I looked her over in disgust. What a whore.
Post Danger Room Session
I'm sweaty and I hate being sweaty, so I'm trying to beat Kitty to the shower, which is basically impossible. Her powers always beat me out and it sucks. One day, I'll tap her and give her a taste of her own medicine. Today obviously isn't that day because I'm at the bathroom door and the shower is definitely running. Big sigh. Kitty's showers last a decade at the least.
It still amazes me that after all this time of having a roommate she's still so inconsiderate. I mean, I wouldn't mind if she showered first every time if I could at least get five minutes of warm water.
But anyway, I know today's not going to be any different so I think I'll just change into my bath robe and wait it out, as usual.
It was about twenty-five minutes into Kitty's shower when there was a knock at our bedroom door. "Come in," I said softly…but obviously not softly enough because Alex opened the door.
"She's in the shower," I said, before he could ask.
He gave me an embarrassed look and asked, "Is she coming out soon?"
"Beats me," I answered, not even bothering to look up from my book this time.
"Well how long has she been in there? So I can estimate." He asked, walking further into the room. Now who told him he could do that?
I shrugged, not bothering with a real answer.
Alex gave a sigh of annoyance and sat on Kitty's bed, across from me. "Because I'm leaving in a couple hours and we're going out." He attempted to explain.
"Good for you," I replied, flipping the page.
"When did she go in?" He prodded. Okay now this was just getting annoying.
"Shouldn't yah be licking Scott's boots or something?" I hissed through clenched teeth.
Alex gave me an offended look. "I'll make sure to do that on our double date." He answered sarcastically.
I had nothing to say to that because well…Kitty hadn't even told me she was going on a double date with Alex and his brother…who's was undoubtedly taking Jean.
"I would invite you," Alex continued angrily, "But I don't think I could find a date for a stuck up, rigid witch!"
I went to strangle him but the bathroom door flew open just as I dropped my book and Kitty stepped out with nothing but a towel on. "Ah! Alex!" she screeched, covering herself for absolutely no reason. Let's be serious, that towel covers more of her than the dress she wore yesterday.
"Kitty?" He said, turning around confused.
"Ah! Don't look! Get out, get out, get out!" she screeched, hustling him out the door. "I told you I would call!"
"Yeah, but you were taking forever!" he complained as she pushed him out.
"That's because I'm a girl!" Kitty protested, slamming the door shut. "Men!" she said. Then she caught my expression.
"Double date, huh?" I asked her, attempting to sound casual. And I didn't know why but for some reason I felt a little betrayed that she was hanging out with Scott, even after what had happened.
"Look," Kitty rushed to explain, "Alex just told me about it after, like, the session. I had no idea Scott was going at all!"
"Whatever," I replied, "Ah don't expect yah not to go, so relax. Besides, Ah can't get mad. It's not like yah have loyalty to mah." I continued coldly, "We're not even friends."
Kitty's expression darkened at my statement and she turned her back to me. We were both fuming at each other while she got ready for her 'date'. But as she walked out the door in a cutesy floral top and blue jean mini skirt, I just felt depressed.
Kitty had Alex…Jean got Scott…and me? …well let's talk about what I haven't got because than at least I'd know what to say.
End Chapter.
In the Next chapter (Chapter 2 – What's Up Lonely?), Pietro will be introduced into the story.
Thank-you all so much for reading my first chapter! Please review to get my writing juices flowing for chapter 2!
