I don't really know the dates for any of the episodes, so just take this as a Christmas special set at a point when Owen is dead and Gwen is married. Also, if you hadn't guessed, I don't own Torchwood. The worst part of posting a new story is having to write that…
Anyway, here is my hurriedly-written xmas fic:
Cards and Calendars
On the first of December Gwen staggered into the Hub with a box brimming full of Christmas decorations. "It's nearly Christmas! Come on! Time to get some decorations up!"
"It's more than three weeks away, Gwen." Ianto pointed out calmly, in much the same way he had done when she'd suggested exactly the same thing les than a week ago.
"Yeah, nearly a twelth of a year." Owen said bitterly. He hated this time of year. Christmas was meant to last a day, wasn't it, not a month?
"A bit less than that actually." Tosh retorted as she followed Gwen in, her arms piled high with tinsel.
"Not you too!" Owen moaned. "It's a bloody epidemic!"
Ianto smiled slightly. "Looks like the doctor will have to find a cure for Christmas."
Owen scowled, knowing there was no way he could stop Tosh and Gwen once they'd decided to do something.
"So can we put them up then?" Gwen asked breezily, heading purposefully towards her desk.
"God! Not yet, please! It's bad enough everywhere else!"
Ianto silently agreed with Owen's outburst. Moulting tinsel was terrible to clean up after.
"Oh Owen! Don't be such a spoilsport!"
Jack arrived just in time to stop the ensuing argument. "Children, children, what is the problem now?"
"Decorations" said Owen bluntly. "Again."
"It is December" Gwen retorted loftily, and Tosh nodded in agreement, nearly dropping her tinsel.
"Ok." Jack paused. "You can have your decorations -" he continued and ignored Owen's groans "- but not just yet. One more week, and then you can put them up. And that includes Christmas CDs too." he added hurriedly.
The others exchanged glances and then nodded.
"But we can put this up, right?" Gwen asked, producing an advent calendar from her box.
***
An hour later, after a huge argument about who should get the privilege of eating the first chocolate and an even greater one about who should be the fifth to open a door (and therefore get to eat the special Christmas day chocolate), Ianto returned from the shops with a calendar for each of them, even for Jack and Owen. He'd chosen perfectly as well.
"Thornton's!" Tosh squealed happily as she received hers, and then "Thank you Ianto!" around a mouthful of chocolate.
Owen looked a bit disheartened as he received his. "I don't know if you've forgotten, Teaboy, but I can't eat it."
"I'll take them." said Gwen, looking up quickly. She was already happy that she got to keep her calendar to herself, but extra chocolate was always welcome.
"I know you don't." Ianto replied steadily, ignoring Gwen's shameless chocolate-begging. "That's why I bought you a '25 reasons to hate Christmas' one."
Owen found himself looking quite pleased, and instantly turned away to hide his expression.
"So, what did you get me?" Jack asked, drawing Ianto away to one side.
Ianto grinned and rummaged around in the bag, eventually producing a kid's advent calendar cover with alien cartoons. Christmassy aliens wearing santa hats.
"Right." Said Jack slowly. "And I notice that you've taken the chocolates out too." he added, indicating the way the little flaps were hanging loose.
"No sir. I just covered up the inane jokes with some comments of my own."
Jack waited until Ianto had walked away and then opened up the door for the first of December expectantly. The note read: 'Get all that troublesome paperwork your secretary's been nagging you about out of the way now, before the New Year. And remember to book a restaurant table."
Jack grinned.
***
Three days later Owen noticed a piece of tinsel draped inconspicuously over Tosh's computer. He binned it and left an irritated post-it note on her screen reminding her that he was still owed four more days of peace.
***
The next day they each found a Christmas card from Gwen on their desks. These were quickly followed by cards from Tosh, Jack and Ianto within the next 24 hours, with Owen grudgingly providing some a few days later. Jack's were best, by common consensus. He's managed to find some of the silliest and most embarrassing photos of them that year and put them on the front of each of his highly personalised cards: Owen covered in gunk after an alien autopsy that had gone particularly badly, Tosh asleep at her computer with a piece of paper pinned to her back saying 'Do not disturb – genius at work', Ianto looking at a broken coffee-machine in horror, and a sulky Gwen who had recently been chained to her desk by Jack. The messages inside all read 'Merry Christmas and a Happier New Year'.
Ianto cornered Jack later. "Nice cards. But couldn't you find any better photos than that of us?"
Jack grinned evilly. "Oh, there were plenty more embarrassing ones than just those, Ianto Jones. Especially of you. Would you care to see them?" He smiled knowingly.
Ianto shook his head despairingly. "I thought I'd deleted them all."
"I had back-up copies."
***
For people who like to know these things, there are five more chapters and I'm hoping to post one a day so that I finish before Christmas. Hopefully.
