((Okay...I know it's a few days late, and that's because I caught strep throat which SUCKS TO HAVE and was swamped with make-up work, but...Here it is! My new story, I Put My Paper Where? I don't own PJATO or anything like that.))
"Alabama. Why have we been in this state so much lately?" Nico yelled in frustration. Thalia and Nico had started the trip early, hoping to spend some time relaxing before they started training.
"Relax. One week, that's all we have. Plus, this isn't too bad. Look, there's a Burger King over there. You like Burger King." Thalia said temptingly.
"Yeah. I do. But, we're going in the middle of nowhere. Mist is so strong because of all the monsters that pour out, that humans don't even know this place exists. We can't even order pizza."
"Wow. You win, this does kinda suck."
"Uh-huh. And, the kid's five! With ADD and ADHD. This is probably the first time he's been around people, aside from his mortal parent. Who, probably, died from a monster attack."
"No, my father told me that the previous inhabitant was a demigod sent there to protect the place from Kronos. You know, in case he decided to try and let everything loose at once. So, the boy's mortal parent isn't dead."
"Maybe he got lost in the woods. Parent sent out some sort of distress call. My question is, how do all three gods think the child is their's, unless..."
"Eww! I don't want to think of that!"
"No, Thalia, what if they either all...you know...the same woman, but it's been so long, no one remembers who was there first."
"Or, it could be that the woman has such a common name, that they all know someone by her name."
"Exactly. This could all be one little coincidence. The mom must be scared witless though."
"Tell me about it. Oh, great."
"What?"
"I just got a text from Percy. Apparently, another oil rig exploded in the Gulf about an hour ago, so he has to go help. That'll put the honeymoon back a few days."
"Yep. The world's going to the Underworld."
"Yet, no one finds it strange that two oil rigs near each other have exploded since April? Two in fifty years is okay, but not two in five months!"
"You think it might be monster related?"
"Maybe. But, let's focus on this." And so, they drove on until they reached their destination.
"You have reached your destination." The TomTom GPS system said.
"Yes, we know. Now, shut up!" Nico slammed his thumb onto the power button, killing the little british man inside.
"Nico, that's not nice."
"First, it's an inanimate object. Second, I'm tired of it."
"You should know about inanimate objects that are actually animate."
"What?"
"I'm saying, what if that thing was real?"
"Like, alive real?"
"Yeah."
"I'da thrown him out of the car at that Burger King we stopped at. I noticed something as we were listening to the radio."
"What?"
"That Adam Lambert song, If I had you, is like our theme song. You have the lovey dovey crap which would be our relationships, and the if I had you parts would be how the gods needed Percy to not be, you know turned evil. There's a thin line between the dark side, me, and the light side, you. Then there's the wild side later on, which would be Grover's search for Pan."
"And, you got all that out of one song?"
"Yeah. Oh, and he wears black eye liner and leather. Definetly us." Then, they finally reached their destination. They sat in the car for a moment, taking in the scene.
"Why does it look freaking EXACTLY like the mansion in the Eddie Murphy version of the Haunted Mansion..." Thalia mumled as they rang the doorbell. About a moment later, they heard the shuffling of feet, the sound of cloth sliding down wood, and then more foot steps. The door swung open quickly, and an amphisbaen slithered out of the doorway, leaving a small child in it's place.
"Hi, my name's Thalia. And, that's Nico. Is your mommy home?" Thalia asked, taking his little and shaking it gently.
"Hi! I'm Hadrian." He said the r with a slight w, sounding even more like a five year old. "My mommy's gone somewhere, but she'll be back later."
"How long's she been gone?" Nico asked suddenly as his ears tickled.
"What time is it?"
"About 6."
"She left an hour ago."
"Oh, you've been here all by yourself since then?"
"Yeah, ut, we have lot's of pets, so I'm not lonely." Hadrian dragged them both inside, slamming the door shut behind him. The interior of the home was beautiful, in an eerie way. Shed snake skins hung from the walls, each with a name of the species it came from. The walls were painted white, so the snake skins could be seen easier. A giant chandelier hanging from the ceiling looked like it would give way at any moment, but Hadrian sat down under it anyways. A moment later, a small ball of fur pounced on him from above, playfully nipping at his fingers.
"Aw! Scruffy!" Hadrian giggled as the dog licked his face.
"Hm...by the way that hellpup is licking him, this may be your brother." Thalia whispered.
"Not a chance. He's Hermes's."
"How can you tell?"
"Check your pockets." Nico laughed as Hadrian began texting away on Thalia's phone.
"Hadrian. It's not nice to steal." Thalia held out her hand for the phone and cleared her throat. He bowed his head and handed it to her.
"So, who are you? Are you my mommy's friends?" Hadrian asked from underneath Scruffy.
"Actually, we're friends of your father." Nico replied, whistling for the hellpup. As does all of his species, he came bounding over to Nico and sat obediently at his feet.
"Hey! Scruffy never listens to other people! How'd you do that?" Hadrian asked in amazement.
"You want to see more cool stuff?" Thalia asked, holding out her hand. Just as Hadrian was about to grab it, lightning shot out, shooting around them both and hitting Nico in the butt.
"Not cool!" Nico shouted in an autotune sounding voice.
"Cool!" Hadrian quickly put his hand between Thalia's and closed his eyes. When the shock didn't come, he gave her a very practiced pouting face.
"No, no! We're hear to talk to your mommy about your daddy. If you're good, we can show you more." A moment later, Thalia's phone rang. She read the text's sender and rolled her eyes. Nico, why couldn't you have just said this out lou- I AM NOT SOUNDING LIKE A PEDO! As if he could read her mind, Nico laughed.
"Ha, ha." She said sarcastically.
"My mommy usually comes home around dinner! We should eat now and see if she comes!" Hadrian ran off to the left, making Scruffy chase him.
"He could just be a klepto." Nico whispered as they followed him.
"Only one way for sure way to find out if he's a halfblood." Thalia shrugged. They entered the kitchen, and were immediately pelted with boxes of food.
"Why are you throwing these at us?" Nico laughed, clearly enjoying how angry Thalia was getting.
"I can't read this stuff." Hadrian pouted
"Do the words kinda...float off the page or get scrambled up?" Thalia guessed, raising an eyebrow.
"Yep!" A moment later, a poptart came crashing down on Nico's face, leaving crumbs of icing in his hair.
"Dyslexia. Hermes is one of our options, and he steals." Thalia whispered as she picked out a few of the crumbs.
"Yeah. But, there's still the ADHD."
"Simple way to test that. Hey, Hadrian! Dodge Ball!" Thalia made small balls of static electricity on her fingers and threw them at Hadrian as he turned around. He dodged each one, taking a moment to turn and see where they all hit. Hadrian's mother is now missing a window.
"I'm bored." Hadrian went back to looking through the cabinets. A snake jumped out of the cabinet, nearly biting Hadrian's ear off. He somehow ripped the cabinet door's handle off at threw it at it, sending it on it's way.
"Bad Tony!" He yelled after it, careful to avoid the death glare it gave him afterwards.
"Thalia...easier, less destructive way." Nico walked up to Hadrian and turned him around.
"What?"
"Staring Contest. Winner gets a piece of candy."
"Okay!" And so they began. The battle was intense. And, lasted a full two seconds. Finally, Hadrian looked away to see the rings on Nico's hand.
"You lose! No candy!" Nico chided.
"Not fair! I can't concentrate! Are you married?"
"What? No!" Thalia shouted for Nico.
"Well, your wearing rings."
"Wings? I'm not wearing wings." I'd probably look like the Angel of Death and give that old man we met in Kentucky who tried to look down Thalia's shirt a heart attack. Ha ha. Pedos are so weird.
"Ahem. I slapped him afterwards." Thalia corrected Nico's thoughts.
"What's a pedo?" Hadrian asked innocently. Crap, I thought out loud. A moment later, the front door opened and a rather frightened woman came into the kitchen with a gun.
"Stop!" She shouted, pointing it to Nico's head. Nico turned slowly to look at it, then looked at the woman and blinked innocently.
"Hey. How's it going?" He said casually. He took a step forward, making the woman step back.
"Mommy, what's that?" Hadrian asked from the counter.
"Nothing, sweetie. Go play with Scruffy in the living room."
"What are you gonna do?"
"I'm going to bake you a cake later."
"Yay! Cake!" Hadrian rushed out of the room, followed by the hellpup. There was a moment of silence, during which Thalia decided to start humming the Jeopardy theme song.
"Why are you humming that?" Nico shouted, startling Hadrian's mom.
"Because, I'm trying to see if this will speed up her decision to shoot you."
"You know, I'm not Percy."
"I know."
"Who are you people?" Hadrian's mom finally breathed. Nico took a step forward and grabbed the gun. With a slight tug, it fell out of the woman's hands, clicking onto the tiled floor.
"We're half-bloods. Like Hadrian." Nico walked over to the counter and put a few of Hadrian's snacks away.
"You've come to...?"
"Take him back to Camp. If, you'll let us. Actually, our orders were to find out who his father is."
"Hermes. What, those guys up there don't know who they've slept with lately?"
"No, but a few of them have met women with your name, same age, same colored hair. It's pretty hard to sort it out then without a visit." Thalia spoke up.
"True. But, what's Camp?" Nico and Thalia quickly explained camp to Ms. Hadrian's Mom ((GENIUS NAME!))
"Oh. That sounds a little...crazy. Sending a five year old out there?" She sighed.
"Yes, but I've found that, the earlier you start training, the better a chance you have of living. And, because he's a young son of Hermes, he should be able to fly under the radar. After he starts to learn about some of the gifts a son of Hermes has, and monsters smell him, he should be able to take on anything." Nico assured her. He picked up the gun and placed it on top of the fridge, winking at Thalia.
"Yes. Put it up there until I can hide it again. Usually it's in my car. I work downtown, right next to the court house, so we have people trying to escape all the time. It just helps me feel a little safer."
"And the bullets are normal bullets?" Thalia asked.
"I have a different magazine of celestial bronze that Hermes gave me before he left. I'm a pretty good shot and he noticed when we went hunting once."
"Hermes goes hunting?" Nico asked, stifling a laugh.
"Yes, what's so funny about it? The gods can't do normal things?" Thalia asked, shooting him an odd look.
"I don't usually think about what they do for fun when they are on Earth. I'm usually to busy trying not to make them angry, like a certain cousin of ours."
"Back on topic, please. I will let Hadrian go to Camp. But, there's something you need to know first...and, you may want to sit down, because this is pretty big..."
