Disclaimers: I don't own House…I just borrowed a couple characters…I'll put them back when I'm done :)
At the end of season 7 DS left us with an open wound without any hope of finding closure. I don't know about you guys, but I NEED closure!
Ever wondered why House barely mentioned cuddy ever since he got out of prison? Here's a short story that explains it all...
Please be nice…this is my first attempt on writing ever, plus French is my first language, not English.
Lisa Cuddy was about to open the door to her house when she saw it… A letter peeking out of her mailbox. It was somewhat uncharacteristic because it was Sunday and there was no post on Sundays… For a moment she just stood there wondering what it could be and who put it there. After a while her curiosity got the best of her so she decided to see for herself. When she saw the writing she froze. It read: Cuddy… there was only one person in this world who would use only her last name…She couldn't believe it. After everything that happened, how could he communicate with her? Then again, she wasn't really surprised at his behaviour; she always knew he was going to try to talk to her again somehow. She took the letter, shoved it with frustration in her handbag and unlocked her front door. Once she was inside, she took her shoes off and went to the living room to see if jenny, the babysitter, was there. After paying her for the day, she thanked her again for coming in on her day off and released her for the night. She checked on Rachel and saw that she was sleeping peacefully. She decided to make herself a cup of tea before going to bed. While she was waiting for the water to boil, she remembered the letter that was in her handbag. She was pondering whether she should read it or throw in the garbage. She sighed in defeat and took the letter in her hand. She was about to rip it open when the kettle started whistling. She went back to the kitchen and made herself a cup of chamomile. After settling comfortably on her couch with her afghan and her chamomile, she finally opened the envelope that HE sent her…
Dear Cuddy,
I know you probably think I shouldn't have written you a letter but I promise you this is the last time you'll ever hear from me. I won't try to explain my behaviour and I won't justify myself to you because there's nothing I can say or do that would make it okay. The truth is I destroyed your house because I'm a self centered jerk with no consideration for others feelings. I could have killed you or anybody who was in your house that day… I keep wondering, what if Rachel had been there… and this is the reason why I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore. I hate myself. I spent eight months in prison to pay for what I did, but we both know the real punishment will be the rest of my life spent alone and miserable. Ever since our break up, all I was able to do is hurt you in every possible way. I wanted you to feel the way I did; Angry, sad, hopeless, lost and betrayed. For once in my life, I hope with all I have that I failed at reaching my goal. No matter what you may think, I want you to be happy. It's not always been the case, but today it is... In fact, right now your happiness is all that matters to me. I can picture you rolling your eyes as you read my letter and it makes me smile like an idiot. You have no idea how much I miss your sharp comebacks and your sarcastic comments. You left a gigantic hole in my heart (yes I have one!)…and what hurts the most is knowing that it's all my fault, that I could have prevent things to turn out the way they did. The only thing I can do is accept it and try to move on with my life. Only I can't do that without making things «right» with you first. I'm sorry Lisa. I'm sorry for driving my car into your house, I'm sorry for making you feel guilty after you broke up with me because you had every right to do so, I'm sorry for all the lies I ever told you, I'm sorry for blaming you about my leg, I'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed me the most, I'm sorry for all the trouble I gave you getting lawsuits and complaints from patients, I'm sorry for mocking you about your abilities as a doctor, I'm sorry for using you to get what I wanted, I'm sorry for all the times I embarrassed you in front of your employees, I'm sorry for leaving you without a word years ago in Michigan when we were in med school, and most of all, I'm sorry for not being the man you needed me to be. I love you cuddy, more than everything in this world, but I don't know how to take care of somebody else…I mean I can't even take care of myself... You are the most incredible person I ever met and I will never forget you. Your ability to love and care for people never failed to amaze me. How you were able to put up with my crap for so long…only god knows. Before I end this letter and disappear from your life for good, I need you to know that all the things you did for me were not in vain. I learned a lot from you…albeit it took me a very long time to realise it, know that I will spend the rest of my time on this planet striving to be a better person, making sure that the twenty years you spent near me are worth something. Goodbye Cuddy, take care.
xo House
P.S.:Don't laugh at this, but I bought myself a goldfish this morning….I'm going to try to keep it alive for as long as possible. You see, I heard that if you can't take care of a pet or a plant, than you can't be in any kind of relationship, because you're bound to screw things up…Anyway, let's hope that Mick Jagger lives to see tomorrow.
She had tears pooling in her eyes…She was sad, but for the first time in over a year, she felt at peace with the world. The heavy weight of resentment and guilt she had been carrying for so long was finally gone. She folded the letter and put it back in the envelope. For a moment, she just sat there crying, letting all the waves of emotions she was feeling wash through her. After what felt like hours, she got up and went to the kitchen. She rinsed her cup and put it in the sink. Before going to bed, she picked up the letter from the coffee table and brought it with her in her bedroom. She opened her closet and pulled out an old shoe box that contained all her memories from college and high school. She put the letter in it and decided to go check on her daughter again. Rachel was asleep and had her right thumb in her mouth. Cuddy smiled at that. She caressed her hair softly and kissed her on the forehead. «I love you» she whispered. We're gonna be ok she thought, everything's going to be just fine.
Fini
