~|Run with the Wild Horses|~
I feel these four walls closin' in
My face up against the glass
I'm lookin' out hmm
Is this my life I'm wonderin'?
Sam sighed and turned her head to look out the hospital window. All she could see from her bedside was blue sky. Sliding a sneaking glance toward the doorway to make certain no doctors or nurses were passing it, she pushed the white, thin hospital sheets away and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Letting them dangle there for a moment, she wondered how hard this was going to be. All the doctors had told her and her family that she would have to go to therapy for a few days to get her coordination back.
Sam quickly shook off her uncertainty; these hospital walls were starting to feel suppressing; closing in; constricting her. Bracing her hands on either side, she pushed herself off the bed. Sam nearly bit her tongue as she tried to focus just on staying upright. She really had been immobile too long. Well, she was determined to get where she wanted; like her Mom, nothing was going to slow her down. She was going to look out that window even if the exertion made her faint!
Stumbling, she sort of walked and ran to the window; when she fell against it she was panting a little for a decent breath. Closing her eyes, she leaned her forehead against the cool glass. Slowly, she opened her them, feeling more than a little light-headed. There, she had done it. She took in the small little trees in the parking lot; their fragile green leaves being tugged about in the wind; dainty branches almost no bigger than a pencil waving to and fro.
"Is this my life now? I can't believe this; I'm excited over little trees in a concrete parking lot getting blown around in the wind. How could I be reduced to this?" She thought about how one moment, just one mistake put her here, in this hospital bed.
"If I hadn't been such a baby like Jake said, then I might not be in this place."
It happened so fast
How do I turn this thing around?
Is this the bed I chose to make?
Its greener pastures I'm thinkin' about, hmm
Wide open spaces far away…
At the Airport to California:
It happened so fast; first her therapy and then the tickets, the talks about being closer to doctors and that it was for her own good. Why was her father sending her away? She couldn't understand; what she'd done? Why, all of the sudden was she being pushed to arm's length and told that the city – away from her friends Jack and Jen, away from the open spaces and her horses – was better for her? To a little girl, these questions only had horrible answers.
"Please Daddy don't send me away; I'll be good; I promise! Please, I'll do anything; just don't send me away! Please, Daddy, go find Blackie; he's probably scared and confused! Oh, please find him Daddy!"
But her pleas seemed to fall on deaf ears; they fell on a father who hated himself for what he was doing, but who felt he had no other option; that he was in the long run doing what was best for his only child; the child of his beloved dead wife. He told himself that Louise would have agreed; though somewhere inside he knew she would have been just as adamant against it as Samantha was being.
Californian Airport:
When Sam got off the plane, Aunt Sue was waiting. "Come here, Sweetie!" She called upon seeing the girl. Why hadn't someone come with her? Oh, there was the flight attendant. The flight attendant; Wyatt, where was Louise when you needed her? She thought, crouching down and holding her arms wide, letting her purse fall off her shoulder. Sam ran crying into her arms. "Oh, Aunt Sue! Daddy wouldn't find Blackie before I left!" She sniffled, and then continued; "But I made him promise to look for him; he's all alone out there! He must be so scared without me, you know, Aunt Sue?"
"Come on Sweetie, let's go to the car." Susan knew that the airport was not the place to talk about family complications. But the one thing that stuck firmly in her mind was Wyatt needed a good talking to; of only she could be there in person to lecture him instead of over the phone!
All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear, but not feel scared…..
On her twelfth birthday, Sam's aunt and her best and only friend Pam decided to have her birthday at the beach; just the three of them. After some time, Sam asked if she could walk along the shore by herself; Pam and Sue had shared glances, but agreed that she could if she wanted to. So Sam found herself drifting near the water's edge, looking for seashells.
As she bent her head, a salty ocean breeze came off the water, and for a moment, she remembered riding Blackie, and before the young colt, her pony that her mother and father had bought her for her sixth birthday. Trying to keep a cheerful mood for her aunt and best friend, who would be worried about her if she returned to the picnic somber and distant, thinking about memories of Nevada, she decided not to spoil the day by thinking of the memories at all.
"I wonder what Jake and his brothers will think about me now. Will they think that I'm a city girl who won't be able to hold her own? I hope not! I wish that I didn't have to worry about that, and I wish that I didn't have to worry about how well I'll fit in my first year of high school!"
Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
I wanna run with the wild horses
Run with the wild horses, oh
She and Pam were having a sleep-over and as a classic sleep-over rite they were raiding the refrigerator; as Pam took the S'mores out of the microwave she said, "We should go easy on the snacks; we don't want to get a lot of calories; that wouldn't work for basketball, NOT AT ALL!" she suppressing her giggles, but only just so.
Her words made Sam think about what her Aunt had said when she'd been presented with the idea of a sleep-over. "Just take it easy, Honey, you don't want to over-work yourself; remember what the Doctor said; not to over excite yourself and to above all, becareful! I just don't want you to hurt yourself, Sweetie; after all you're my favorite niece."
"I'm your only niece!"
"See all the more reason to do what I've asked!"
"Sure, Aunt Sue."
"Sam, Sam! hello, earth to Sam!" Pam brought her back to the future. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine; let's eat!" She grinned, but nevertheless she was still hurting inside.
I see the girl I wanna be
Riding bareback, carefree along the shore
If only that someone was me…
Jumpin' head first headlong with out a fall
To act and damn the consequence!
How I wish it could be that easy….
Sam and Sue were going to get school supplies for her first day of school, and as they were driving along the bridge that ran right by the ocean, she saw a girl and her friend riding along the shore.
"Oh, how I envy that girl! She has her best friend, her horse, and she probably isn't seperated from everything she ever loved, either! I wish I could do something crazy; never worrying about what would happen. If I leave my bed unmade and my room just a little bit messy, Aunt Sue goes all nuts about how a girl should keep her room clean and presentable for guests at all times! All I want is to go home! How I wish it could be that easy! She laughed bitterly.
"Are you all right, dear?"
"Fine," she replied, though she turned her head against the window, leaning on it; not meeting Sue's gaze.
"Okay." Susan glanced at her niece casually, trying to seem unconcerned though she was.
But fear surrounds me like a fence….
I wanna break free!
She was going home! Finally, after two years, which had seemed like forever, she was going home! Since then she had gotten phone calls from her Gram and Dad. Gram had told her that they had never found Blackie; it was a slim chance he had survived the cold Nevada winters. But she still had a small glimmer of hope. "What would we have if not belief?" she thought amusedly. But even though she was excited, fear still had a small hold on her, and it continued to grow.
"If only I could leave it behind like I'm leaving California!"
All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear, but not feel scared.
She was in the truck with her dad, on the way to the ranch; it was rather ackward till the wild horses and the helicopter apeared. Her dad pulled over to the side of the road; Sam was glad he had remembered how much she'd loved watching the horses; even if it was in a roundup. Just as the animals had appeared, they were gone; leaving the helicopter dipping and bobbing to and fro searching for them.
"Where did they go?"
"They have secret trails that not even we know about," Wyatt replied, shifting the truck back into gear.
She knew her dad's opinion about them, that the wild horses all belonged in dog-food cans or in BLM holding pens; but like her mother, she thought that they were happiest and looked much better free and wild. She hoped that would be the way they would always stay.
"They looked so fearless out there, under that helicopter; faced with a strange void of endless destinations, both good and bad. I wish I could be so fearless."
Oh, wild horses I wanna be like you…
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too…
Wish I could recklessly love
Like I'm longing too…..
As her dad parked the truck and Sam jumped out, a horse's squeal came from the corral. She walked over and climbed on the fence to take a look. Just as she reached the top, the rider of the horse was thrown. Dust blew around her long-time best friend, Jake Ely.
"It's good to be back." She smiled slightly.
Now, to think of something to say...
I wanna run with the wild horses
Run with the wild horses
I wanna run too….
Three nights later, Zanzibar, aka Blackie came to her from the wild side of the river and she got to ride a wild horse. He showed her his family and his home. She couldn't have been more pleased. That this horse, a wild stallion, still remembered her was remarkable and special.
"This is something that I won't ever forget!" She thought when the silver stallion brought her home to the ranch-house under the light of a silver moon.
"I got to run with wild horses."
Recklessly abandoning myself before you…
I wanna open up my heart; tell him how I feel….
Jake Ely could be so, so... over-protective! She wished he wouldn't get so concerned all the time. Like if she was off with Zanzibar he would tell her she needed to stay away from "that crazy horse." Now she really wanted to do something on purpose to make him angry! Then he'd most likely go tell her dad and she would be really in for it!
Lately though, her feelings for him had changed; she didn't seem to mind as much now that he was always trying to protect her; not that she liked him always telling her to "be careful" or "to stay out of trouble;" most times it really infuriated her; but still, she surpposed, it was nice to be cared for. Not that she could or ever would tell him that!
Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
"Zanzibar, I wish I could be like you, free not having to be careful to stay out of trouble, no one saying to you, "Don't do this" or "Don't do that; you could hurt yourself!"
"No one has to tell you what to do or where to go, I wish I could be as bold as you are about your feelings."
Wish I could recklessly love
Like I'm longing to…
Okay, she had to admit, Jake wasn't so aggravating; he actually was nice to have around. And the more she thought about it, they did share most, if not all, of her adventures together; and, well, she really liked it when he complimented her on something; be it her clothes that she wore to school or how her riding had improved from last year. Mabye it wasn't such a bad thing to have a crush on your life-long friend after all. she would have to sleep on it first, though...
I wanna run with the wild horses
Run with the wild horses…
Run with the wild horses…
I wanna run with the wild horses…
That night, Zanzibar, or Blackie as Jake called him, came to the edge of the river on the wild side. She smiled to herself. "For now," she thought as she slipped outside, "I won't think of boys, or school, or the posibility of Jen moving; I'll just do what I've wanted to do for the past two years; ride my horse..." she would worry about all of life's other things when she returned to the tame side of the river, but for now, her horse was standing knee-deep in the river, and the thrill of a wild, beautiful ride in the moonlight was waiting...
I'm gonna run with the wild horses...
A/N: Well what do you think? Please tell me in a review below.
Disclaimer: Only the One-Shot idea is mine, though I wish I owned the characters, but they belong to the wonderful Terri Farley. The Lyrics to 'Run with the Wild Horses' belong to Natasha Beningfield.
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