Chapter 1
BPV
I closed my eyes feeling the sunshine warm my skin, for the first time in days I could take the moment to really feel... it truly was a beautiful here. I'd been on the road for 5 days stopping only to fuel my beloved red 1950s Chevy pickup truck, and to catch some sleep in whatever cut-price motel I could find whenever attempting to stay awake affected my driving. Not that I got much sleep, no matter how tired I became escaping the inevitable nightmare seemed impossible. Standing here staring out at the blue water with the sun beaming down on my pale skin, as my arms curled around myself I began to feel the warmth finally start to spread to the cold and numbness that consumed me.
I couldn't quite say how I had ended up here it all seemed to be an endless array of winding roads and never-ending highways. 'La Push' the sign had said a few miles up the road and when I drove past the ocean view it had instantly held me breathless, I immediately pulled over. Now for the past 40 minutes I'd been sitting upon the bonnet of my old rusty truck staring out at the dazzling scene before me. I looked out from the cliff toward the sea whilst soaking up the mid morning rays, it truly was heavenly. It was like a secret that I had stumbled upon but I didn't feel guilty like I wasn't supposed to know, breathing the fresh salty air made me feel so at peace.
When I left 5 days ago the thought of where I was heading never really occurred to me, I was so exhilarated from actually having the guts to leave that forming a plan seemed redundant. A day or so ago I started to head towards Seattle thinking that it would be a good city for someone like me to get lost in. Seattle was full of people bustling around with their busy lives; my idea was that I could quite happily live there and go through my life unnoticed, invisible. However when I arrived in Seattle I had felt an instant dislike, it was noisy and bright, I thought that was what I wanted but it just gave me a bigger knot it my stomach. The place was making me uneasy so I quickly (well as fast as my ancient ride could manage!) got myself out of there. I've always believed in gut feeling it was something my mom taught me. My mom, thinking of her just made me want to stop and curl into a ball and try and stop the pain but I knew I couldn't do that. Feeling this inexplicable uneasiness in Seattle I started driving having no idea where I was heading just knowing that Seattle wasn't a safe place for me and the sooner I got out of there the better. As I drove further and further away I started to relax and stopped at a small diner for some terrible food and to gather my thoughts on the next step I should take. That's when I overheard a couple of guys sat in the booth behind me taking about a place called Forks. I'd never heard of the place before but I just took it as a sign. So there I was heading towards Forks having no idea what to expect or what I was going to do when I got there. When I arrived in Forks the sign for La Push caught my eye and intrigue got the better of me so I carried on driving without stopping until the beach was in sight.
I had a good feeling about this place, the thought of having a beach nearby that wasn't swamped by tourists, somewhere I could go and find peace was a definite plus. I'd just driven through the nearby town of Forks, I remember it had quite a few stores and looked a little more populated so hope fully there would be job opportunities. Forks seemed nice enough a little 'old school' for my usual taste but a town that was a slightly off the tracks might be beneficial as I didn't want anyone to recognise me anyway. I slowly pulled my truck around to head back toward Forks hoping I would find accommodation soon, after driving through the night I was starting to feel the effects. I kept glancing out of my window, everything here seemed so clear... so green. This could be the new start for me, a place where nobody knows me or where I'm from. No more being afraid of walking alone having to face those around me with their false looks, I could always see the pity in their eyes it didn't help, it just make me feel sick. Freedom was all I wanted, I just wanted to forget and try and put myself back together again. Isabella Swan was no more, I knew I couldn't keep my name in fear of someone recognising it but losing that name meant so much more to me. I didn't want to be that person anymore I chose Bella Ellis as my new name if anybody asked, I picked Ellis after my favourite book Wuthering Heights author Emily Bronte, she had hid her real identity with the pen name Ellis Bell. It made me smile to think I had a connection with someone I admired so much.
By the time I got into Forks I was starving, I couldn't actually remember the last time I ate I knew that I had to start taking better care of myself. I pulled into the first diner I saw, hunger getting the better of me. As I hopped out of my truck, the panic started to rise in me as I slowly walked to the door my head was swimming.
'What if they know who I am? What if they all point and stare? I don't think I want to see the looks on their faces. It would break me... No! No! Don't think like that! If you think anyone knows just leave, it will be fine no one is forcing to stay. You're free to leave whenever you want. Just some food then you can see what you want to do... But what if they know! '
I felt like people were staring as I was having this internal battle at the door of the restaurant. Way to go unnoticed Bella!
'Excuse me miss you heading on in?'
The voice made me jump but at least it drew me out of my thoughts, I turned around to see an old man with white grey hair and a matching big bushy beard staring down at me. He was trying to get past me as I blocked the door whilst having a debate in my own head.
'Oh sorry yes I was just umm... thinking' I replied as I stared down at my battered blue Chuck Norris' feeling the heat rising to my cheeks... they were probably flaming red already. He just chuckled at my response. Great... he probably thinks I'm mental! At least the old man had made my decision for me. I stepped into the diner leaving the silver topped stranger to make his way over to a group of similar aged men.
I stumbled on into the restaurant pulling my long dark hair around my shoulders to shield my face. The place seemed clean, and the food smelled kind of good, I think my stomach agreed as I felt a massive rumble, I smiled to myself grimly, if only food was all I had to worry about. I found a booth at the back in the corner; it wasn't too busy hopefully none of the other customers would take notice of me there alone. The waitress spotted me and made her way over, she was in her early forties, peroxide blonde hair scrapped back into a bun. She was wearing a tight baby pink dress with a blue apron tied around her waist, it wasn't exactly flattering but then I saw her face held the biggest brightest smile that seemed to reach her eyes.
'Hi there my names Trudy I'll be you waitress today, can I get you a drink?' she was staring at me. She doesn't know who I am; she doesn't know who I am. I kept repeating to myself.
'Sweetie would you like a drink?'
'umm yeah a coke please' I replied looking up at her trying not to meet her eyes, with that she smiled and turned away. I started to calm a little as nobody seemed to be noticing me so I brought my attention to the menu, looking at the options my mouth started to salivate. Seriously when was the last time I ate?
'You ready to order' I looked up and Trudy had reappeared with my coke and was now tapping her pen to her pad
'Yeah can I have a cheeseburger and fries please?'
'Sure things honey anything else?'
'No thanks'
'Ok just let me know if there is anything else'
Trudy smiled and walked away, she seemed to sense my awkwardness and understand that I didn't want to be bothered with idle chitchat... Nice lady. Or maybe my unwillingness to look her in the eyes and indulge her in a conversation made her anxious. Either way I don't think she recognised me, there was no hint of panic or pity on her face the few times I had managed a glance at her. I started to relax with the relief of still being anonymous added to the fact that I was looking forward to eating some good food. Trudy arrived back a few minutes later my eyes widening at the sight of the humongous plate full of food she was carrying, surely that all can't be for me! Trudy laughed at the expression on my face putting the plate down in front of me.
'Yes that is all for you sweetie and I expect you to eat everything on that plate!'
I gave her a small smile of thanks and started to dig in, it tasted divine I didn't think I'd have any trouble finishing it. Trudy watched me for a moment then happy I was actually eating she gave me a bigger smile and with a nod of her head she walked away seeing to her other customers.
I finished my burger soon enough and I really did enjoy it; I couldn't believe it when I ate it all! I was now playing with the straw in my Coke. I had decided that I was going to try and stay in Forks for a while but I needed to sort a few things out first, I didn't have much money left so finding a job with top of my priorities along with somewhere to stay. I could spend another night in my truck but the thought of a warm comfy bed had me groaning.
'Sweetie?'
I looked up to see Trudy staring down at me an anxious look on her face. Panic immediately started to fill me; I've seen that look before this won't end well...
'Can I sit down for a minute?'
I didn't know what to say so I just nodded, she may as well get it over with so I can leave, I was getting a little annoyed as well as frightened I really thought I could make it work here. This woman was just going to bring up things I did not want to remember. I'd be lucky If I didn't have a full scale breakdown. She just smiled at me and sat down opposite me.
'So did you enjoy the burger... I see you finished it' Her eyes were fixed firmly on my face I didn't know where to look she must know who I am! The only thing I could do was answer her questions and try and leave without a scene, I would not be letting anyone break me.
'Yes it was great thank you' I replied politely
'Can I ask you something? 'Here it is, she's trying to get information out of me, I knew a small town like this would love the gossip I'd bring. I bet she knew who I was as soon as I walked through the door and she was just biding her time to get all the juicy info on me! Why can't people just leave me alone?
'Sure' I replied attempting as best as I could to contain all the hurt and anger that was bubbling inside of me toward this snooping woman.
'Well it's just that...' She seemed nervous maybe she thought I might be dangerous and unstable and really she just wanted me to leave!
'I noticed you when you came in and now you can tell me to mind my own business, but I've been watching you normally I'm good at reading people. It's just that you seem, well you seem like you're a little lost... where are you heading? 'She looked at me with pure tenderness on her face. I know your here alone and I'm not going to pry into the reasons but I just wanted you to know sometimes talking to someone can help.'
I let out the biggest sigh of relief; she doesn't know who I am! As I looked into her warm eyes I knew she was just being kind and all I wanted to trust this woman. I couldn't risk doing that but still I didn't want to lie to her.
With I deep breath I replied with as much honesty I could afford to risk
'I am a little; I'm looking for a place to call home'
EPV
'Dr Cullen? Excuse me Dr Cullen?'
It took a couple of seconds to realise someone was calling me, I was still getting used to being called 'doctor' that's what everyone calls my dad. It seemed like such an official grown up way for someone to address me, especially whilst I was deliberating brands of toothpaste in the supermarket. I turned around to find Bobs Riley the owner of the diner's wife smiling up at me; she was a real friendly caring woman. I remembered helping out years ago with my mom and dad at the diner on thanksgiving to feed the homeless. Remembering I smiled back at her.
'Hey Mrs Riley, can I help you?'
Laughing she replied 'Call me Trudy! You make me sound so old... I'm sorry to bother you but you know Bob and I have that small cabin in the woods that we rent out in the summer well we've just found a bit of a more permanent tenant'
I did remember the cabin, it was near the lake where my friends and I would play when we were younger, it was a gorgeous setting a little secluded but it seemed to be popular for romantic getaways for couples.
' She's new to town and I'm helping her find her feet a little, I was wondering if I could bring her down to your office one day, you know just so you can meet her give her a check up'
I thought this a little strange that Trudy was asking me; surely if this woman had any medical problems she would seek me out herself. Knowing Trudy she was probably just being helpful so I thought it best not to question it.
'Sure just ring my receptionist to make a appointment and I'd be happy to see her'
'Thank you Dr Cullen! I'll do that straight away, see you in a couple of days' with a big smile she turned on her heel and marched off.
I wondered what this woman was like for Trudy to go to such lengths to help her, she must be quite a bit older if Trudy is worried about her health. With that thought I was ready to leave for home it had been a long day and all I wanted was a good meal and kick back and relax. Looking into my basket all it contained was a microwave meal for one, unfortunately cooking was not one of the talents I had inherited off my mom. I paid at the counter as quickly as I could trying to avoid the girl who worked there part time that always flirted with me.
I made my way to my car a black Volvo that I took great pleasure in pushing the speed limit in... not tonight though, as I pulled out of the car lot I soon got stuck behind an prehistoric washed out red Chevy pickup truck clunking along I couldn't even overtake it as the towns chief of police was in his car behind me. He'd take any opportunity to give me a ticket ever since I was in my high school senior year and I stood up his daughter to the dance. Admittedly not my finest hour but it wasn't malicious she kind of forced me into going with her and when the night came I just couldn't face it so I rang her and feigned illness. I could've been harsher but I was trying not to hurt her feelings, look where it got me anyway! This really was a very long day.
