Love Lost
by Lenah Phil
She ran faster than ever before and the memories rushed through her like flood, restricting her breath in the sweetest agony.
When she found out that he had chased her, chased the vehicle she was on remarkably on foot only to realize later that it was not the right one, she stopped the driver and got out to turn back, also on foot, to go to him.
Strangely, he had always seemed to find her, wherever she was, even without information at all , even when she constantly refuse to tell him.
This time, it was going to be her who will do where he had failed.
She reached the corner where she had last seen him and skidded to a stop, breathing heavily.
Her eyes darted here and there in search of him.
He was not there.
Her brows furrowed in confusion.
"Where?"
She turned around and halted as though she had come upon an invisible force, a sudden feeling of relief overwhelming her sore heart.
She fell wearily toward him, hugging him so tightly.
*
*
*
It was past midnight, past curfew and she had no idea what to do or where to go at all.
Out of her nervousness, out of her inner plea to remain calm and cool, she began to sing the first simple tunes of her favorite song regardless of the opinion of an unknown someone beside her.
On the empty sidewalk they sat, the cold night breeze slowly enveloping her, the stars gaping down at them, the silence almost deafening.
What she knew of him did not go pass his name and the formalities.
Practically, they were complete strangers, unaware of each other's trustworthiness.
The stranger heard the sound of her little voice and his face lighted as he recognized the song.
"How come you know that?" She heard him say.
She barely answered his question, concentrated as she was in keeping her tears from falling.
He surprised her, amazingly so, when he began to sing along, the same church hymn, in another language.
She stopped singing and simply listened and wondered.
By some strange fate she did not understand, he was beside her, the feel of the rough fabric of his shirt and the warmth of his living body against her, comforting her, letting her know someone was there.
Suddenly, she did not feel so afraid anymore.
*
*
*
She wanted to cry.
She let him hold her, the thought of tomorrow upon them.
For tomorrow they will have to part, and perhaps never to meet again.
Now that she found him, she will have to lose him again.
"I will miss you."
His voice was husky against her ear.
She wanted to cry even more.
She looked away from him, the back of her head turned to him.
She did not look at his face.
She feared that if she will, she might break down.
She concentrated on looking at the sea water rushing toward the sand.
"Do you have feelings for me?"
He began to ask.
She bit her lip until it almost bled and she uttered in response,
"No, I don't. Please don't hug me. It's embarrassing."
She started to pull away but he did not let go, holding her even tighter.
He cupped a hand to her chin and pulled it gently toward him, making her face him.
She looked at him, determined not to show any emotion at all.
"Do you really have no feelings for me?" He asked again.
"No." She answered without missing a beat but her heart was thundering against her chest.
*
*
*
"What if it is going to rain?"
She heard him say soon after his song ended.
Her arms were crossed, her knees bent toward her, because the cold night breeze was starting to get even colder.
Mostly, it was his presence which kept most of the cold away.
"Don't say that." She said without looking at him, wrapping her arms closer around her shoulders, unconsciously unaware that she was almost leaning toward his warmth.
"I'm an unlucky person. It can happen." She said again. "That's why stop saying that."
It was already unfortunate that they got stranded outside of their dormitories.
They do not need the rain to worsen their miserable plight.
He shrugged. "I sometimes don't think of what is here and now but of what is not. Like, for example, the rain."
She sighed, somehow having the feeling that what he said was going to come true, and laid her head on her arms.
Moments later, she raised her eyes and in that exact instant, she saw a drop of water splash unto his jeans, joining the other drops of rain already on the denim.
"It is starting to rain." He said, for he had already noticed the gathering wetness.
The thought puzzled her. "How come I did not feel it earlier?"
She turned to him and discovered in surprise his hands above her head, shielding her from the outpouring drizzle.
He shrugged, looking away. "I was keeping the rain away."
She stared at him in disbelief.
*
*
*
For a minute or so, they looked into each others eyes until at last he said, "You know, you are not good at lying."
She bit her lip again and lowered her gaze.
Perhaps, he now knew her too well. Bummer.
"I'm sorry. I don't have any feelings for you. Just let me go."
How cold her words were but it had taken a lot of will power to say those.
She looked away once more.
She did feel something, a deep connection with him but she reasoned in the end, they were just going to lose each other.
It'll be painful to give and accept love and lose it afterwards.
That fear hung in the air, as dangerous as sticking a hand into a sleeping lion's mouth.
She snapped out of her thoughts when suddenly he asked.
"Can I kiss you?" Her body tensed in surprise and at once, she shook her head in reply.
Why can't he accept this love was not to be?
"No, no. I told you just let me go."
He was leaning toward her but before he could do anything, her hand shoot out to cover his mouth in defense.
She shook her head and stared at him, a desperate plea in her eyes.
For a long while, he did not attempt anything and she began to relax.
Just when she was about to stand up and leave him, he pulled her, forcibly toward him.
She shrieked but he had done it in a split of a second that she did not have time to protect herself.
Before she can fully realize it, his lips were upon hers, claiming her as his.
The troubling thing was, she kissed him too.
*
*
*
The pavement was wet from the rain and puddles had formed where they were slight depressions.
They were walking now, in search of a place to stay.
She needed to sleep.
She had a lot to do for tomorrow.
She glanced at her companion and felt really sorry for him.
"You know, you can always go home. I'm sure the manager will still open the door for you. You don't have to be here. You'll get in so much trouble. It's hopeless for me. You, however, still have a chance." He simply shook his head.
Maybe he was about to answer to her statement but at that moment,a speeding car passed by and in its haste, its wheels ran right through the puddle beside him, and sent a spray of water unto anyone nearest.
The water drenched him from the waist down.
At once, she clamped a hand to her mouth, tried to keep her laughter from escaping her.
He looked so hilarious.
He groaned and examined his wet clothes.
"You know, you're the most unlucky girl I've ever been with." Her laughter died down. "And the most interesting too. This has never happened to me before. Yet, I'm still here."
His face had on an amused and bewildered expression as like a young puppy lost in the meadow.
She laughed again.
"Me too."
*
*
*
How deafening the sound of the waiting bus.
It was time to go.
"I love you. . ."
She hugged him back and whispered those endearing words for the first time to his ear.
Now that she had in words and in deeds expressed her feelings (something she had been afraid to do) she was going to take responsibility for it.
He hugged her even tightly.
They both knew it was a risk, but without words, they agreed to take it because they both knew this love is real and like a treasure, hard to find, easy to lose.
"I'll remember those words forever."
He grinned and when they broke apart, he took a recorder from his bag and held it against her lips.
"Say those words again?" He asked.
She laughed.
He pressed the red recording button and she said in her cutest and truest voice.
"I love you! " Goodbye.
*
*
*
They never met again.
Lenah:
This is actually based on a true story.
It's up to you to think who the characters are. Enjoy^^