Of Pretences, Relationships and Alcohol

1. Dear Blank by Hedley

Derek wasn't stupid, and it wasn't like it was his first party, so he should have known better. And, in theory, he did.

Honestly, to know Casey the way he did, to be part of their daily (hourly) fights, was to know, automatically and unequivocally that alcohol and Casey was something he shouldn't try to mix.

He would have been fine if she hadn't shown up at the party. He would never have drank so much, and he never would have done what he did, if she hadn't been there.

But really, how could he be expected to deal with his stepsister invading yet another aspect of his life while he was stone cold sober?

2. Drilled a Wire Through My Cheek by Blue October

Derek didn't think things through before he did them; he just acted.

Which was probably why he always found himself in such scrapes. (And definitely why he was in his current mess.)

But who could have expected it to get so freaking complicated after he kissed her so many years ago? (Ignoring, of course, that Casey was always the definition of complicated.) And really, who could have foreseen that they'd become this twisted, tangled, bloody mess? (Except everyone who had ever seen them interact.) How on earth could Derek be expected to know what was coming for them when he'd never been in a serious relationship before?

(Except that he had known, and he'd kissed her anyway.)

Hey, no pain, no gain, right?

3. This is how I disappear by My Chemical Romance

Maybe Casey should have seen it coming.

After all, she did have a tendency to get sucked entirely into whatever relationship she was in. And really, she had already spent about eighty per cent of her time thinking about Derek, even before they started dating or seeing each other or whatever they were doing. (She refused to admit that maybe, just maybe, they were just fucking.)

Once they got together (or whatever), Casey had sort of seen herself sink into them. She wasn't a single entity anymore, and that was scary.

But not nearly so scary as the fact that she didn't really care.

Because maybe it didn't matter if Casey was disappearing into DerekandCasey, when Derek seemed to be fading around the edges as well.

4. Songbird by Oasis

Derek couldn't believe how easy his relationship with his stepsister had been, or how quickly they'd fallen into the rhythm of being together.

Oh, sure, there had been dramatics at first. Worry over what people would say, over how the family would take it. The reality of George and Nora's initial displeasure.

But all of that was fleeting, and Derek was pretty sure their relationship wasn't.

5. Blister by Our Lady Peace

It was stupid, after all their struggles, but Casey figured out that as soon as she and Derek had actually got the relationship they'd struggled so long to gain the right to have… it had just sort of withered.

Some things flourish only in the face of adversity.

Without the disapproval to contend with and the constant struggle to prove that they could make a go of something, it seemed like they lacked the will to be together.

Maybe Casey and Derek were a foul weather couple. Maybe their love could only be sustained when it was challenged by the outside world. Maybe now they were finding out that all their stubborn desire to be together was just them being pig headed.

And wasn't that just fucking great?

6. All That I've Got by the Used

One day Casey woke up and realised that she was in love with her stepbrother.

Or, more accurately, one day Casey woke up and admitted that she was in love wither her stepbrother.

Her feelings went deep, so deep that she couldn't express them. She knew that if he scorned something that coursed so completely through her, she'd be finished.

So she clung to the outside world and refused to live for their fights.

She lived instead for those around her, and pulled her friends close while still keeping her distance.

So, sure, she was far from lonely, at least on the surface. But that was all she had.

7. Naked by Avril Lavinge

Her life was pretence.

She strived to be perfect in everything she did just to disguise the fact that she wasn't.

But it didn't work when he was around.

Casey couldn't pretend she was aloof and untouchable and perfect when Derek was around, because he wouldn't let her. He forced her to be her basest self, just by being his.

And as much as it scared her to be so exposed, it felt right on some level, as well.

And so, for the first time since she realised what others expected of her, she let go of the façade and just was.

8. I Think I Smell a Rat by the White Stripes

Derek suddenly didn't know what to do with himself around her.

He was so much more comfortable when he had been clueless… but now that he knew, he couldn't even remember what it had been like to not know he loved her. And now he didn't know how to act.

He knew she noticed. She gave him odd looks when he flip-flopped from being too nice to being too mean.

She smelled a rat, and it would be only a matter of time before she figured it out, but Derek couldn't for the life of him figure out how to be natural with her without doing something stupid.

9. Grace Kelly by Mika

For someone without an ounce of rhythm, Derek spent one hell of a lot of time dancing.

He and Casey danced around each other every day of their lives in a sort of primal circling that was half a battle and half a mating ritual.

They changed and shifted and altered themselves until they were so imperfectly perfect for each other that they were soon too twisted and broken for anyone else.

And neither ever noticed because they were too close to see it clearly.

10. Help! By the Beatles

By the time he thought to look for a lifeboat, it was already too late.

He was sinking fast, and the only person there to cling to was the one who had been his downfall in the first place.

He needed her, and what's more, he really, really wanted her.

So he let himself depend on her, a little bit.

And then, it wasn't such a little bit. He wasn't independent anymore…

And neither was she.