Timorem Et Amorem

by Nejilovesyaoi

Rodney activates an Ancient Device in a newly discovered science lab. All of Atlantis is affected, but mostly Rodney and Ronon. Memories of a group of Alterans from before Atlantis was built are imprinted upon the people of Atlantis, and a lesson is learned. The Rating is just in case, but it is slash.

Author's Note: Hello everyone. It has been a VERY long time since I have posted any fanfics. I decided I needed a comeback. I will not be finishing Jimson Weed because my writing has changed so much since I started writing that story. I hope you like this fanfic, it is the first one I've written for SGA. ~~Nejilovesyaoi~~

John Sheppard—Thursday 13:30

It was one of those days; slow, boring, nothing going on at all except for that same old routine. Nothing was going on to spice it up or break up the monotony. John was in his office, feet propped up on his desk as he read through the giant stack of paperwork that was overflowing onto the floor. He was reading over a mission report written by Major Lorne. Only problem was he kept getting distracted by the large footprint that was in the middle of the paper, right across the part of the mission where Lorne explained why the team came back with tattoos and hangovers the likes of which the Pegasus Galaxy had never seen before. The gist of that story was apparently a native festival, and of course it would be rude to say no to an invitation when trying to set up a trading agreement with the native people.

John was just getting to the part of the report where the chieftain told the team there were some rituals they must take part in if his people were to agree to the trade, when he was interrupted by a very familiar, and highly irritating, voice calling him over the radio. "Sheppard! I need you in my lab, now." John rolled his eyes at Rodney's demanding tone. Typical Rodney, demand instead of ask properly.

"Coming Rodney. Is there anything else you'd like me to get for you? Coffee? Food? Manners?"

"Oh ha ha Colonel. You're sense of humor amazes me, how long did it take you to come up with that one?"

Before John was able to respond with another witty comeback, Weir's voice came over the radio. "Play nice boys. I believe there's still a lot of clean up duty left from the last experiment-gone-wrong." The clear warning in her tone was enough to keep the two men from fighting over the radios any longer.

John made his way to Rodney's lab as fast as possible. The quicker he got there, the less likely Rodney was to rant for however long it took to do whatever it was he wanted John for. On his way, he passed by Teyla and Ronon sparring. As usual, Teyla was kicking Ronon's ass, but the giant of a man was giving almost as good as he got and was definitely not backing down. Also as usual, their spar was drawing a crowd of observers, everyone from the military members of Atlantis to the scientists would gather to watch the two of them battle it out. An even bigger crowd usually showed up to watch John get beat by either Teyla or Ronon.

John shook his head as Ronon let out a battle cry and launched a counterattack against Teyla. Every time the two of them fought with those cursed sticks Teyla dominated, John couldn't understand why Ronon continued to put himself through the torture of those sticks battering his body. John always left a spar with Teyla with more bruised skin than not, and was sore for days after. John nodded to Zelenka as he entered the lab and made his way over to the hunched figure of his best friend and teammate.

John's mouth quirked up in a smirk as he thought of a devious plan to scare the wits out of his favorite scientist. He snuck up behind Rodney and squeezed his sides quickly. Rodney jumped so high and spun around so quick John was sure the scientist got whiplash. "Are you crazy Colonel? Or do you just have a death wish? Well we all know it's the second one because you could have just killed us. What if I was handling something volatile and you made me blow us all up," Rodney said. His hands were waving around as the words exploded from him in his anger and fear.

"Sorry Rodney," John said. His hands were up in surrender even though it was clear from his voice and the huge grin on his face that he was anything but sorry.

Rodney threw up his hands and turned away from the aggravating Colonel. He ripped his tablet up off the table and into his arms and started stomping out of the lab muttering vehemently under his breath. John continued to smirk and followed the steaming physicist out of the lab. There was a definite spring in John's step as he studied his handy-work; he just loved watching a steaming Rodney rant under his breath.

"So where are we going?"

Rodney sighed before responding to the entirely too happy question. "Well if you had greeted me like a normal human being instead of trying to kill me, you might already know."

John laughed at the emphasis Rodney put on kill, and threw his left arm over Rodney's shoulders. "I'm just keeping you on your toes buddy."

Rodney just shrugged John's arm off and sped up his walk, keeping as much distance between the two of them as possible. John sighed and sped up as well. He had noticed Rodney being a lot more standoffish than usual, and John believe his best friend really needed to get laid. That was a thought best left unsaid. John could just imagine the damage the city would get from Rodney if John ever said that where he could hear it.

As their walk seemed to stretch on with no end in sight any time soon, John began to think about Rodney's love life, or lack thereof. John couldn't remember Rodney ever looking at or talking about anyone since that failed attempt at a relationship with that botanist. Then a giant light bulb came to blinding life when John pondered whether his best friend was gay or not.

"Excuse you? As if it's any of your business." Rodney whipped around, hands going to his hips, tablet hanging precariously from two fingers of his right hand.

"I said that out loud?" John was a bit surprised; he usually had more tact than that.

Rodney didn't even respond to that he just turned around swiftly and entered a door to their left and started poking away at his tablet, although his pokes were more like jabs and John could just picture that being his face Rodney was trying to poke to death. He entered the room behind Rodney and his mouth fell open at the vastness of it. The room was well over two times bigger than Rodney's lab and had a much larger assortment of Ancient consoles than most of the labs put together. "What is this place Rodney?"

"A science lab." Rodney continued to jab away at his tablet, muttering under his breath as he started slowly making his way to the opposite side of the room.

"Thanks for stating the obvious McKay, but what's it for?" John just stared long and hard at his friend. Rarely ever did McKay not go into an extremely long rant about something, so either Rodney didn't know what it was for, or he was actually upset about what John had accidentally let slip from his thoughts to his lips. Was Rodney really upset about John thinking he was gay, or was he just worried he'd judge him for it?

"Colonel! Is my love life really that interesting to you? If you must know, yes I like men, but I also like women. If you were that interested you could have just asked? And no I'm not worried about you judging me for it because if you do, you aren't the best friend I think you are. I don't care what your backwards country thinks about my interests, I just don't find it necessary to put my personal business out there where anyone can see."

After that rant, Rodney stomped over to the console closest to him and began bringing it to life. John needed to make sure he wasn't thinking out loud when he was around Rodney, it was getting him into more trouble than he wanted to try to dig himself out of. He moved to stand behind Rodney so he could watch what he was doing over his shoulder. "I'm sorry Rodney. And, I don't judge you for your interests buddy."

"Okay."

"Okay?" John quirked his eyebrow up towards his fly-away black hair, hoping that means they are actually okay.

"Yeah. And to answer your question about what it's for, I have no idea. That's why we're here."

As Rodney started pressing what looked to John like a random sequence of buttons, John felt a shift in energy in the room. It was static electricity, making the hair on his arms and the back of his neck stand up. "What are you doing McKay?"

Before Rodney could answer, the lights in the room started flickering and then went out, and the console Rodney had been working on shut off and a pulse of something moved in a wave through John and Rodney. The pulse knocked the two off their feet and unconscious and then continued to spread throughout the rest of Atlantis.

Rodney McKay—Wednesday 18:12

For the last ten minutes, Rodney had been trying his hardest to be subtle as he stared at Ronon. It was one of Rodney's most well-kept secrets that he had a huge, not to sound like a teenage girl or anything, crush on the Conan-wannabe. It had started a few months after Ronon had started living on Atlantis, and had only steadily gotten worse since then. Rodney couldn't help but admire the strength of the man as he worked out with Sheppard or Teyla. The muscles in Ronon's arms would bulge and sweat would drip teasingly down his neck and under the shirt he wore. Not to mention the few times Rodney had been forced to work out with his team. Rodney could never concentrate on what his teammates were trying to teach him because he was distracted by Ronon.

Ever since his infatuation with Ronon had begun, Rodney had been making an even bigger fool of himself whenever the object of his affections was around. Anytime Ronon was around Rodney would stutter and become a huge clumsy mess, tripping over himself and anything else that was or wasn't around him, like air. Rodney was pretty sure that Ronon thought he was an idiot and a mess.

Meal times were his favorite time to stare at Ronon because that was the most likely time for Ronon not to notice. Ronon would be too distracted by either his food or the conversation he was having with John and Teyla to notice Rodney staring at him. Plus the team would just see Rodney devouring his mountain of food faster than humanly possible. Rodney was good at multi-tasking, and he had become even better at Ronon-watching.

Rodney was so distracted by eating and staring that he didn't notice Teyla sitting down beside him at the table. He did notice the hand that softly shook his arm though. He turned to see Teyla looking at him, and that look on her face was one he knew all too well. It was the face she always had when she was figuring out a puzzle or mystery, and directed towards Rodney it was not a pleasant sight. "How long have you harbored desire for Ronon?"

Rodney choked on his food and started banging on the table as he tried to breathe again. Teyla looked alarmed as Rodney drew in a huge breath, face hot and most likely as red as a rose. "Keep your voice down, and I have no idea what you're talking about." His words came out as a hiss as he was still straining to breathe properly. His throat was on fire as much as his face was, and he was getting itchy with how uncomfortable he was. Most days he would have wondered if someone had slipped some lemon into whatever food he was eating but today he was too worried looking around the mess hall making sure no one had heard Teyla. Nobody was looking their way, and Ronon was still in line getting food, laughing at whatever John had just said, so Rodney assumed he was still in the clear for now.

"It is quite obvious to me now. I didn't notice the signs until you didn't answer me after I called your name several times. How long have you harbored these desires?"

It was said with such a straight face that all Rodney could do was gape at Teyla like a fish, his mouth opening and closing with no words to be heard.

"Wow, Rodney's speechless? What did you do Teyla? You should do it more often." Sheppard sat down, smirking as he did. Ronon sat down beside the Colonel and rose one eyebrow in question.

Rodney felt his face get even hotter and his skin get even itchier. He had to get away from the situation as fast as possible. "I gotta go," he mumbled. Rodney shot up off his seat and made a mad dash out of the mess hall, leaving his half-eaten dinner behind him, two confused stares and one concerned teammate behind him. He didn't look back, and he didn't stop moving until he made it to safety of his own lab. He locked the doors and sighed in relief. The only thing that would put his mind at ease was a sleepless night in front of his computer doing research. Maybe he would get something done.

Rodney McKay—Thursday 14:00

Rodney was pissed. More than that he was attacking the Ancient console imagining it was John Sheppard's face. How many damn people were going to figure out his secret? He really didn't care if the entirety of the Atlantis crew knew he was bisexual as long as they didn't know about his crush. The only problem with John Sheppard finding out he was bisexual was that he would be one step closer to figuring out his secret. Teyla knew, John would know soon enough. Was he that obvious? Did Ronon know, and was secretly disgusted with him and plotting his early and messy demise? If he was Rodney might as well kiss his life goodbye because there was no way he could stop Ronon.

"I'm sorry Rodney. And, I don't judge you for your interests buddy."

Rodney couldn't help but relax his tensed up muscles with John's declaration. Secretly Rodney had been worried for the longest time that he would lose John if he ever found out about him liking men. No matter what he said to John about not caring what people thought, he really did. John was the first person Rodney had ever considered as a best friend and he really wasn't ready to lose that over something he couldn't control. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah. And to answer your question about what it's for, I have no idea. That's why we're here." Rodney figured honesty was the best bet here considering he would need John's help if he found anything interesting in this new lab. He started pressing a sequence of buttons as if he knew exactly what he was doing. He didn't know why but he felt like those were the buttons meant to be pressed. As he did so though, he felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up and then he was hit in the middle of the chest with a force so strong it brought tears to his eyes before he blacked out.

Teyla Emmagan—Wednesday 18:25

Teyla had been noticing some things that were different about Rodney McKay for a while now. Most obvious to Teyla was how quiet he got at meal times. Although she was used to how much food he ate and how fast he devoured it, she was even more used to the food that would fly because he spoke so rapidly while eating it. For the past year or so though, Rodney had not been talking at meal times. Very rarely he would respond to a question or two, but other than that he was eerily quiet while eating.

Not only was he quiet at meal times, she had also noticed that he was always distracted by something. Like today when she sat down at the table, she had to shake his arm to get his attention after the fifth attempt at calling his name had failed. The thing that had really given the answer to this mystery was how inarticulate and clumsy the scientist got whenever Ronon was around. Teyla knew how smart he was and how much he loved to tell anyone within hearing about what he knew, so whenever he got tongue-tied she took notice. Once she took note of the fact that Rodney was tongue-tied whenever Ronon was around, she also started noticing how often his eyes lingered on Ronon.

"How long have you harbored desire for Ronon?" Teyla became concerned when Rodney's face became redder than she thought was healthy, and he started choking on his food. She was about to call for a med team when Rodney finally seemed to be regaining his breath.

"Keep your voice down, and I have no idea what you're talking about."

Teyla noticed how he looked around the room as if expecting all eyes to be on them. Teyla had made sure she whispered her question, so she was sure no one could have heard. "It is quite obvious to me now. I didn't notice the signs until you didn't answer me after I called your name several times. How long have you harbored these desires?" Teyla had never been one for cutting corners when it came to honesty with her friends, the only time she was subtle was when she was … with other peoples.

"Wow, Rodney's speechless? What did you do Teyla? You should do it more often." Sheppard sat down, smirking as he did. Ronon sat down beside the Colonel and raised one eyebrow in question. Teyla watched as Rodney got extremely uncomfortable, seeming to dance in his seat.

"I gotta go."

Rodney ran off and Teyla watched him go with concern. There was nothing wrong with Rodney having feelings for Ronon, Teyla was just curious why he hadn't made a move if he had been holding those feelings for as long as she thought he had been.

Teyla Emmagan—Thursday 13:45

Teyla laughed as she knocked Ronon on the head for the twentieth time today. He had been distracted ever since he heard John and Rodney walking passed in the hallway. Teyla was starting to realize that Rodney wasn't the only one harboring some desires and becoming distracted by them.

"I think it's time to end today's spar, don't you? Your head's not in it today. What are you thinking about Ronon?" The emphasis on are in her question was her subtle way of telling Ronon she knew exactly what had him so distracted. She watched as he glared at her and stomped off to get a drink of water. When she repeated her last question he just grunted and claimed hunger. She knew better and was about to address the situation when alarms started going off all over Atlantis. She watched as Ronon was flung to the ground by an invisible force and then she was hitting the ground and blacking out.

Ronon Dex—Thursday 13:45

Ronon got distracted from his spar with Teyla by the voice of John Sheppard. He turned to see John and Rodney walking down the hall together. Ronon growled a long low growl. He hated how close those two were with each other. Ronon always felt this angry pit open up inside his chest that made him want to beat the shit out of John Sheppard. His thoughts were interrupted by a hit to the chest that was more painful than usual. He turned back to see Teyla looking at him with that look she got when they were on missions, cautious yet trying to dig into your soul and reveal your innermost secrets.

Ronon made a quick rush at Teyla and was rewarded with that look being wiped from her face. As much as he loved sparring, at this moment he just wanted to be alone to wallow in the misery of knowing that he would never gain the object of his desire. Ronon's head jerked to the left as he was dealt a swift blow. His eyes squinted and he rubbed at the spot delicately. The pain throbbed in pulses that were in time with his heart beat and he frowned as Teyla laughed at his plight.

"I think it's time to end today's spar, don't you? Your head's not in it today. What are you thinking about Ronon?"

From the way she said it, Ronon could tell Teyla already knew exactly what his mind was on, and was just trying to get him to open up about it. He glared at her and stomped away to get some water so he could avoid answering. There was no way he was opening up about his feelings to her. They were never going to be returned so what did it matter. It was better to never air such a secret so it could never hurt him.

Cursing Teyla's persistence in pursuing the truth when it came to knowing everything there was to know about her teammates, Ronon just grunted and claimed hunger as the reason for his distraction. A lame excuse even for him, but there was no way he was ever going to tell her the real reason. Let her assume, but he wasn't going to confirm anything.

Ronon was just about to ask Teyla if she wanted to go grab a bite to eat, when a force so strong hit him in the chest that his breath rushed out of his lungs in a painful gasp, and he felt himself falling and his vision blacking out.

Atlantis—Thursday 14:15

All throughout Atlantis there was an eerie silence. There was no sound of people sparring verbally or physically and no sounds of the heavy footsteps of people walking through the hallways. All that could be heard was the soft pleasing hum of the city, and the quiet buzz of electricity.

All of the people of Atlantis were knocked unconscious by the energy blast that had originated from the console that Rodney had activated. As the people of Atlantis slept, the blast's effects began to take root.

Flashback/memories—several million years ago, after the Alterans had come to the Milky Way galaxy, before they built Atlantis

Avitus was overlooking the building of the aqueduct he had designed for his people on this new planet they were calling home. The move to Avalon to escape the Ori was a bold one and when they reached Avalon the Alterans had split into three groups, settling on Dakara, Terra and Pulchra. Pulchra was very different from Celestis, but Avitus put on a brave face to keep his people calm and working hard for the future.

"Sir, your needed elsewhere." The voice was accompanied by a gentle hand resting on his shoulder. The warmth of that hand spread from his shoulder to his heart and he felt safe and content. He smiled up at his personal guard and nodded. He followed his guard out to where the children were insisting on him telling them a story.

As Avitus told them some of the stories of their history on Celestis, all he was really thinking about was Nerva. Nerva, his personal guard, was his secret lover. Secret because even though he was the leader of his people, there were still strict rules against two men laying together, and if word got out then he would be stripped of his title and the two of them banished from their home and people.

The two of them were subtle and normal during the day, but once the sun set it wasn't questionable for the leader's personal guard to sleep in the same home as the leader to keep him safe. So far, no one had caught wind of their affair, but his people were calling for him to take a wife and have children. Everyone had to do their duty to their people, and in this new world that meant increasing their tiny population.

If he was to keep his lover safe then Avitus was going to have to sacrifice his love and happiness by getting married. It killed him to think that he was going to have to end it with his strong and handsome lover, but he could live with the ache in his heart if it meant his lover lived a long and healthy life with their people.

Avitus—A few days later

Avitus loved and hated when Nerva stroked a hand through his hair like that. He loved how the warm feel of Nerva's hand touching his scalp was enough to send shivers racing down his spine. At this moment Avitus hated how Nerva's gentle touch, which was so contrary to his warrior nature, could make him lose track of anything else that was on his mind. In these moments all he could think about was the point of contact, where Nerva's rough fingertips gently massaged his scalp and temples, erasing Avitus's headache caused by the stress of a long day.

Today he hated the way Nerva's touch made him feel and react because he had to tell his lover that they could never touch this way again. Today Avitus had been approached by the members of his council, and they were extremely vehement in their demand for him to do his duty and take a wife. A good woman was already chosen, she was extremely intelligent to be able to match his wit, and Avitus could admit that she was the most beautiful woman able to marry amongst their people. Avitus had no choice but to agree, and his honor would not let him be with anyone other than her no matter how much his heart belonged to Nerva.

Avitus thanked Nerva's ability to sense his mood shifts because Nerva stopped massaging his temples and looked at him, a frown marring his face. "What is wrong amans?" Nerva stroked a hand down the side of Avitus's face.

Avitus flinched at the term of endearment. He used to love when Nerva called him amans, but now it made him feel even guiltier about what he was about to do. He took a strengthening breath for courage and jumped in without pausing, knowing if he paused he would lose his will to do this. "Nerva, we must stop this. My council came to me again today and demanded I do my duty as the leader of our people. Today, I could no longer tell them no."

Nerva's hand dropped from where it was still cupping his face and frowned. "You mean to take a wife and have children."

Avitus knew it wasn't a question, but he had to answer it anyway, so there was no question about what he meant. "Yes."

Nerva dropped heavily onto one of the chairs sitting by the fire. "Your honor will be the death of us both. My heart beats only for you amans."

Avitus felt the burning in his eyes begin but pushed back the feeling. He must be strong for both himself and his lover. "As mine does for you, but you know what would happen if it was ever discovered, and if I don't do my duty they will get suspicious. I love you, but I must do this."

Avitus could see the moment when Nerva shut off his feelings and became the warrior instead of his lover. He knew the look well, the skin around his eyes would tense and his lips would flatten into a harsh line. "I'm sorry sir, I was being selfish. You must do your duty to our people, and I must do mine by protecting you and your future family. Excuse me, I will sit guard outside."

He watched as Nerva walked out of his home to take guard outside. As soon as he couldn't see Nerva any more, he stopped holding back the tears. This last night he would indulge in these feelings of loss, but in the morning he would be married and devote his being to his future family.

Avitus—Several years later

Avitus watched his son run around the village with a sad smile. It was little Aelianus's seventh birthday, and the anniversary of his wife's death. In respect of the amazing woman that had given him his beautiful son, Avitus had been the proper widower and never gone back to Nerva. It killed him even more to watch Nerva stand guard in the middle of town, a vigilant eye on every move Aelianus made. Avitus felt old, and he was relatively young by the standards of his people. His skin felt stretched too thin over his body, and he felt tired no matter how much sleep he got. He was moving slower and slower every day, and he was trying to hold his increasing weakness from his people.

A sudden commotion towards the side where the village met the woods caused Avitus to stand and make his way to Aelianus as quickly as his weakened condition would let him. Avitus grabbed his son and lifted him into his arms, extremely thankful that Aelianus was still small for his age. Nerva stepped in front of the two of them and Avitus could see from how he was standing that he was tense. As a hunter made his way towards them at a quick run Avitus noticed the large gash over his left eye, blood flowing in thick rivulets down his cheek and neck. "What is it Cassius?" Avitus asked the question before the hunter could pass them.

"I don't know sir. It is something we have never encountered in the woods before."

"Get yourself to Old Sophia. She'll patch you up." Avitus nodded to the hunter as he ran passed them and towards the home of their healer.

Nerva turned to Avitus and started ushering him towards his home on the far side of the village. Avitus moved as quickly as possible considering the added weight of his son clinging to his neck. Avitus started whispering calming words to his son as they made their way across the village. Avitus whipped around as screams started sounding throughout the village. Nerva tensed up and stood guard in front of Avitus and Aelianus. A few seconds later a large black-furred creature crashed through one of the homes to their left. Avitus's eyes widened and he clutched his son tighter to his chest as he noticed the tremendous size of the creature. It was taller than their buildings and as wide as four of their strongest men. Its mouth was drawn back in a blood-curdling snarl and its pearl white teeth had the blood of their people dripping from them.

"Run, now Avitus!" Avitus complied with Nerva's demand as Nerva stood his ground in front of the giant creature. Avitus looked towards the stars and wished on his being that Nerva would make it out of this encounter alive. Avitus made it into his home and barred the door with any furniture he could move alone. Sitting by the fire clutching his son, Avitus waited while he heard the sounds of the horrendous battle raging outside.

Aelianus—10 years later

Aelianus stood tense and numb to the biting cold of the morning as he watched his father's lifeless body be prepared for the death rites. Ever since that day ten years ago when the giant Temor had wreaked havoc on their village and killed Nerva, Aelianus had taken notice of his father's declining health. Aelianus knew the signs of a broken heart from the many women who lost their husbands that same day, and knew that is what caused the early death of his father. Lately his father had been even weaker and unable to move on his own early in the mornings, and he would wince in pain at the slightest touch. Aelianus knew now that his father had been holding on until he was old enough to take over as leader of their people. He had immense pride in his father's strength of will and devotion to their people and would make sure that his father's death was not in vein.

The people of Pulchra had a device that had been recording the memories and consciousnesses of all the people in their village, and Aelianus had plans for this device, as he also had plans for the building of a huge city-ship. He would name it Atlantis, and they would take it to another galaxy, far away from Avalon and the horrible memories it held.

Atlantis—Thursday 14:20

A matter of minutes was all it took for the memories of the Pulchrans to imprint upon all the people living in Atlantis. Everyone began waking up at the same time. Weir was the first to regain enough awareness to call out to see if everyone was okay and then to check on key personnel. "John are you okay?" Weir held her breath as she waited for a response.

"I'm fine besides a major headache."

"Is Rodney with you?"

John turned towards his best friend. "Yeah, but he's still unconscious." He bent down to check for a pulse, and sighed in relief when he found it strong and steady, confirming his assumption that he was just unconscious still.

"Teyla?"

"I am well Elizabeth, but Ronon is still unconscious as well."

"Carson?"

"A medical team is on its way to Teyla and Ronon and I'm on my way with one to John and Rodney." Weir could hear over the radio that the Scottish doctor was rushing towards Rodney's location.

"Thank you Carson. Teyla and John I need you in the conference room. We need to figure this out. Zelenka I need you there too."

"On my way," Radek said.

Weir made her way towards the conference room to wait. As she waited she ran through the memories that she had gained from the pulse that had knocked all of her people unconscious and had left two of her best men lying in hospital beds.

Zelenka was the first to make it to the conference room and he just sat down and started muttering in Czech. Teyla was the next to enter and she went straight to Weir and touched their foreheads together and then sat down. Weir was amazed by how comforting that gesture could be even in the strangest of situations. Finally John made it to the conference room, nodded to Weird and fell heavily into the nearest chair.

"Okay. We all know what happened; let's talk about how it happened." Weir looked at each of them in turn, hoping that one of them would have an explanation for why they had the memories of a whole people in their heads now.

"Rodney found a new science lab and demanded I go with him to check it out. When we got there he started fiddling with one of the consoles, and suddenly this great force of energy pushed us off our feet and I blacked out. I next woke up on the floor of the lab with these memories." John crossed his arms and sat back in his seat more, a gesture that showed just how uncomfortable he really was.

"Radek?" Weir turned to look at the frazzle-haired Czech.

"Hmm I will go there and try to figure it out, but if these memories are to be believed we know what happened. That console was the device that Aelianus was determined to bring with them because it recorded the memories and consciousnesses of all the Pulchrans."

"Right. Keep me updated if you find anything else out."

Zelenka nodded in agreement and shuffled his way out of the conference room, nose practically touching the screen of the tablet he was carrying. Weir turned back towards the other two people in the room and was about to say something, when she was interrupted by a call over the radio. "Elizabeth, you best come here."

Weir could hear the concern in Carson's voice. "On my way."

As she headed out, Teyla and John followed closely behind her. The three of them made their way quickly to the Medical Bay. When she got there, Weir stopped short. Not because she was seeing Rodney and Ronon conscious again, but because of the way the two of them were looking at each other. You could see in the tense set to Ronon's muscle and the guilty look in Rodney's eyes that something wasn't right.

"What's going on Carson?"

"Oh good, you're here. These two claim to be the consciousnesses of Avitus and Nerva."

The two in question turned towards the newcomers. Rodney stood from the bed he was sitting on and bowed his head towards Weir. "I can see from my host's memories that you are the leader of these people."

"Yes, I am." Weir bowed her head towards Rodney, returning the Ancient form of respect and greeting.

Ronon stood from the bed he was sitting on and took a protective stance behind Rodney.

"I believe that you already know that I am Avitus and this is Nerva. If we are in these bodies, it means that the memories of our people were also released."

"Yes we have your memories now, but why?" John glared at Avitus. His shoulders were tense as his arms were crossed over his chest.

"The device was to keep a record for the history of our people so the memories and consciousnesses of those who came before could be lessons for those who came after. Why it is here on Atlantis is my son's doing. He never wanted anyone to forget the misery I went through, and he wanted my story to be a lesson to the generations to come. I am sorry for the inconvenience." Avitus bowed his head again towards them all in apology.

Nerva stepped forward in front of Avitus. "We request time by ourselves while we still have time in these bodies. Ours is not a permanent imprint and we would like to take advantage of it so we may move on."

"I can't allow that. Believe it or not, something like this has happened before and that time the outcome of us allowing them alone together endangered my people's lives."

Nerva clenched his fists, but a light touch on his arm made him calm. Avitus moved forward again, to keep Nerva from striking like he knew he wanted to. "We only ask for a semblance of privacy. Put us somewhere you can observe us, but we can be alone together."

Weir looked from John to Teyla and then back to the two men making the request. "Very well, follow us."

Weir made her way towards one of the rooms used for observations and quarantines, Avitus and Nerva followed behind her, with John and Teyla taking point behind them. Weir opened the door, and once the two men entered the room she closed the door behind them. Elizabeth, John and Teyla made their way quickly towards the room they could observe the two men from. It didn't seem like they had missed much though. All the two men were doing was staring at each other. They watched for the next hour with rapt attention.

Avitus was tired of the silent staring. He moved forward and gently rested his hand on Nerva's right cheek. Nerva's eyes closed in agony as he moved his head into the warm touch that he had missed so much. All those years without his lover, and all those years watching his lover waste away and trying to hide it from everyone had been so hard to handle. "I missed you so much amans." Nerva kissed the palm of his lover's hand and locked eyes with him.

Avitus choked on a sob and flung himself into Nerva's arms. He had missed him so much, had missed his comforting touch and soothing voice. He had missed the sweet endearment of being called amans by his lover's rough voice. "I missed you too Nerva." The declaration came out as soft as a sigh, and so full of emotion it brought tears to Nerva's eyes.

Avitus pulled back a bit and locked eyes with his lover. "I am so sorry for what I did Nerva."

"Don't be, you loved your son. Aelianus would not have been without your sacrifice. I know it hurt you more than it did me. Did you really think I wouldn't notice my amans wasting away?" His tone was admonishing, and Avitus felt ashamed for truly believing that he could hide something from his lover. "Now, no more talking; all I want now is to hold you and feel you with me while we still have a chance." He picked Avitus up and carried him over to the small bed that was in the middle of the room. He sat his lover down and moved to stand in front of him. "I love you amans." He punctuated this with a gentle brushing of his lips with Avitus's.

Avitus wrapped his arms around Nerva's neck and pulled him down for a long, hotter kiss. Their tongues stroked each other and then danced in a fierce battle for a dominance Avitus knew his lover would win. Avitus pulled back and stroked his lover's cheek. He knew their time in these bodies was drawing to a close. "I love you Nerva."

"I love you too amans." They pressed their lips together again, and then they were being pulled gently from their hosts' bodies.

Elizabeth, John and Teyla watch as the two men declared their love, and then kissed again. They're eyes widened as the white light left the two men's bodies and floated towards the ceiling and disappeared. They rushed from the room to make it to where Ronon and Rodney were. They opened the door to see Rodney push away from the embrace with wide eyes.

Rodney scrambled off the bed and started backing away from Ronon. "I'm sorry!" Rodney threw his hands up in a sign of surrender, hoping the former Runner wouldn't kill him. Rodney squeaked in alarm and huddled against the wall as Ronon started stalking towards him. He closed his eyes tight, and hoped that his death would be swift and painless. But death didn't come. Instead, he felt a warm touch of a rough hand against his cheek. His eyes flew open and he looked up at Ronon. He noticed the gentle look in his eyes and gulped, eyes widening. His mouth opened slightly but no words came out. Suddenly he felt lips on his own, and his eyes finally took not of the fact that it must be Ronon's against his because he was too close. A tongue stroked his and he couldn't help but moan and lean into the kiss.

A cough from behind them had Rodney jumping swiftly away from the embrace and trying to stutter out a lame excuse about residual feelings from the Pulchran consciousnesses. Ronon growled and yanked Rodney into his arms. "I like him, got a problem with that?" Rodney's struggling stopped swiftly when he heard that declaration, and he looked towards their two teammates and leader.

Weir put her hands up in a placating gesture. "We have learned a lot from the Pulchrans's memories, and it is a lesson we will not take lightly. Hate and fear can only cause misery. We saw that with Avitus and Nerva. As long as it doesn't affect your team dynamic, I don't care who you love."

John nodded with a smirk and Teyla just smiled with that all-knowing twinkle in her eyes. Rodney shook his head and couldn't believe what he was hearing. After all this time he had been fearing the reactions of those he cared about and respect most, he was able to be completely honest about what he felt. He turned in the strong grip of Ronon's arms. "I have loved you for a long time." He pulled Ronon's head down for a firm kiss and pulled back. "And now that I know I have you, I won't let go."

Ronon growled and pulled Rodney in for an even fiercer kiss than the one they shared before. "Mine." Rodney sputtered, trying to stutter out an indignant response but Ronon stopped him with another brain-stopping kiss. Rodney melted, and couldn't help but moan loudly and respond to the kiss.

"Get a room." John chuckled after shouting at his two teammates.

"We have one, now get out." Ronon growled at the three, and they seemed to get that he was completely serious because they moved swiftly from the room, door clicking behind them. "Now that I know I have you, I won't be letting go." Rodney felt a warmth in his chest as his declaration was echoed back to him by the man he had desired for so long. That was ruined by the lecherous smirk that crossed the man's face before Rodney was grabbed roughly and thrown on the bed. He wasn't complaining though, he could get used to this.

THE END