Disclaimer: I don't own the show Invader Zim...if, in fact, I DID own it, it would not have been cancelled!
So, anyway...hopefully you will enjoy my story...OO
GIR's Adventure
It was a bright, sunny day outside. The squirrels were frolicking, but that was soon cut short as an 18-wheeler drove by. Despite the cheeriness of the outdoors, the laboratory inside the mint green house; oddly out of place in between two brick red townhouses; was dark and strangely morbid like always. Anyway…on this fine day, GIR was having a fine old time.
"WWWEEEEEEEEHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" The little robot careened across the lab floor, shrieking gleefully at his newest playmate, which also happened to be his 75th rubber piggy that month. "I'm gonna' name you…piiigggg." GIR came to a skidding halt at his master's feet.
The misanthropic and possibly introverted alien turned around to face his robotic lackey, his face the picture of someone who is struggling to keep their temper. "GIR! Do you remember that little TALK we had the other day?"
GIR stuck out his tongue contemplatively, making a squeaking sound. He stayed in this pose for possibly 5 minutes before answering. "Mmmm…Nope."
"UUUUGGHH!" Zim tugged at his antennas in frustration. "GIR, you must remember to leave me alone while I'm working, or else I will replace your artificial intelligence chip with one that is less…not…good."
The computer piped up from seemingly out of nowhere. "Didn't you try that once before? Oh yeah, you went to the city to test the chip out, right? By the way, how'd it go?"
"Oh, we conquered it. Those….DISGUSTING…earth monkeys didn't even expect their doom, because no one foils an Irken invader! Anyway, I SHALL RETURN TO WORK!"
"OOOOOOOOOOO….AhHAHA!!!" GIR then expressed a noise of fascination, laughed spontaneously, and sent his rubber pig flying into his master's experiment, which promptly exploded. "Aww," GIR said sadly, examining the charred remains of his rubber pig, "I thought it'd make a pie."
"GIR!" Zim was to the point of strangling. "Do you realize what you have done?"
"My piggy's gone," The robot said sadly, apparently not listening to the Irken at all.
"You RUINED it!!! That experiment was essential to our conquering of this…(imagine a look of strained disgust on Zim's face) …FILTHY….mud ball! I'm afraid your incompetent head will have to be replaced, GIR. We can't avoid casualties on our mission."
GIR stared at him for a second. He then shrieked in fright and ran out of the lab, his metal footsteps slowly fading away.
"He took that pretty hard…" for a second, Zim sounded like he actually cared. "Ah well. That gets rid of MY problem." Whistling, he returned to work.
Suddenly, he stopped as a thought invaded his brain, repeating its difficult question over and over. Why was Dib's head so big?
GIR, meanwhile, was running away without knowing it. He had left the house and was now fleeing in its exact opposite direction, which probably qualifies as running away.
"I miss ma' piggy…." GIR stopped to voraciously gobble up a coffee can he had found on the ground as he continued to whine to himself, "I wishes I had a friend." (imagine friend pronounced as "frayend.")
Just then, a rabbit made the unfortunate decision to hop by. GIR saw it and gave a squeal delight, making an attempt to jump on and hug the poor creature.
The rabbit gave GIR a look of pure fright and tried to jump out of his arms right as he began hugging.
"Aww, I thought you was a mongoose," said the disappointed GIR, as he placed the rabbit carelessly in his head compartment. He suddenly brightened up. "Oh well…I'LL EATCHA' LATER!!! WEEEHHEEEEHEEEE!!!!"
With that, the ever-excited GIR raced down the street, heading for a rather -shady- looking store.
The next day….
The students of Ms.Bitters' class were not a happy group. Some banged their heads against desks, some attempted to spontaneously combust, and some just slumped in their chairs, letting the flies gather. You see, Ms.Bitters was in the middle of another one of her "doom" lectures, which usually got everyone into a depressed state of mind.
"You see…class," continued the raspy voice of their snake-like teacher, "Sometimes the parasites not only affect their native cows, and they move on to CHILDREN instead. That spells doom for all of you. Doooooom. And when the parasites are finished laying their eggs inside you intestines, they eat their way out! You catch it from dookie, and there's no cure….so when you're lying in the sewers having your livers slowly eaten away from the inside out, remember what I told you. You're all dooooommmmeeeeddd!"
Not surprisingly, something else besides Ms. Bitters' lecture was on Zim's mind. The Irken was in deep thought. He was thinking about GIR. Now, he usually didn't care about GIR, but this time was different. He was going to have to cheer the robot up somehow, lest he be even more annoying then usually. "Hmmm…" he said to himself in the middle of class. "Hmmmmmmmm……"
Suddenly, Dib's head popped into Zim's frame of view from seemingly nowhere. "Watcha' thinkin' 'bout, Space Boy? How to destroy the planet? Forget it, because I'll stop you every single time you t-"
Zim silenced the paranormal investigator by smacking his face, causing Dib to fall down. The Irken leered over his desk at the human. "Actually, no. I was just thinking of a way to cheer GIR up…Dib. (he said the name as if it was some kind of distasteful food) If you must know, I've been feeling rather selfless lately, so-"
Dib jumped up, "Ha! You? Selfless? HA!" He started chuckling, as if sharing a private joke with himself.
"Yes, Dib-worm. DO YOU DOUBT THE AMAZING ZIIIIIMMMM????!!!!!!"
"Yes," Dib said matter-of-factly.
"Well, doubt me as much you want, you meat child stuffed with…..MEAT! For I, IRKEN INVADER ZIM, am not lying!!!" Zim found himself standing on his desk, being stared at by all of his classmates. He chuckled nervously. "I mean…I, normal human worm baby Zim am not lying."
"I have my eye on you," Dib hissed, darting back to his seat.
Meanwhile…(again)
GIR was having a lot of fun in that shady store he had found, as he had been immediately kidnapped by the clerk. (yes, kidnapping is fun for GIR J ) He had been made to sit on a dusty box behind the counter as his kidnapper stowed several wads of bills from the cash register into his pockets.
"Ooo, what's this?" GIR pulled out a drawer all the way, causing its contents to spill out across the floor. GIR immediately dived into the flood of random objects, laughing his high-pitched squealing laugh.
"Stupid trophy!" The store clerk snarled, dropping his stolen money. (the clerk thought GIR was some kind of odd trophy) He tried in vain to grab the insane robot, but GIR was too excited to allow himself to be captured. He jumped around, knocking things over, breaking things, and generally wrecking the place.
The clerk finally got hold of GIR and managed to tie him to a box with a belt.
The little bell thingy that indicates a customer is coming in rang, and in walked….a customer.
"Duohhh….what yah' got for sale? I'm looking for a present for my wife for her anniversary and…"
The clerk quickly pulled out GIR, happy to get rid of him. "How about this trophy? It's quite a beauty. I'm sure the little lady will love it!"
"Uh…uh, uh… Urm…Urgghhh..ummm…I dunno, I mean…"
"Oh, for the love of…Well, it's made of solid gold and it's only 5 dollars! No joke!"
Suddenly, a mysterious voice came out came out of seemingly nowhere… "Wait just a minute!"
A look or recognition crossed GIR's face, and he squealed excitedly. "YEEEEEEEEEEHHHEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Master?!"
Zim sprang heroically into the room. Actually, it wasn't very heroic. It was more evil and psychotic than anything, "Drop the robot!"
The clerk dropped GIR, and he went running; box and all; over to Zim.
"Who are you?" The surprised clerk said.
"No one you need to pay an excessive amount of attention to, good human. Now, I shall kindly take my robot an go." At that, he calmly put GIR, (who had gotten off the box) under his arm and marched out, trying to be as normal as possible. A few minutes later, he popped his head back in. "In case you were wondering, I am normal."
A few minutes later, Zim and GIR were back at the lab, where Zim had prepared a little surprise.
"GIR," he said tauntingly, "I bet you can't wait to get your present."
"WHAT IS IT?!"
"It's an indestructive amusement creator made out of the finest circular friction-designed rubber material made for human automobiles shrunk down and fashioned into a miniature pork-producing livestock."
GIR's expression didn't change at all. "WHAT IS IT?!"
Zim signed in exasperation and gave up, "It's rubber pig that can't be destroyed."
"WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" GIR's wild cry of delight seemed to carry on for hours.
"THE MADNESS!" Zim shrieked as GIR continued his annoying screech, "THE MADNESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Luckily for GIR, he finally found a "frayend" that even he couldn't destroy.
-THE END-
-Well, my 2nd fic is finally up! I should have a party! WooHOO!! Never thought I'd make it this far! (in fact, I never thought I would post ANY of my fics.) So, I hope you liked this rather short fic, even though it was pointless. Please R&R! -