Culaccino
(n.) the ring left on a table by a cold glass
The loft had grown dark without her noticing. Three hours had already passed. Three hours since he had run out of the loft, not once looking back at her, shutting the door closed behind his back. The loud crash the door had made as it fell shut had made her flinch, the echo of the sound making his departure seem way too final, way too definite.
Their long forgotten wine glasses were still set on the table, the dark color of the red wine mocking her with what this night could have been.
She didn't even remember what had actually caused the fight but there they were arguing about things like wedding venues and their honey moon. A fight, so unnecessary she wanted to laugh about it now.
She couldn't pinpoint the moment exactly, where the fight had escalated into the both of them shouting at each other and ultimately her yelling at him that he probably shouldn't have taken his ex-wife everywhere around the globe so he could have sex with her.
She still couldn't shake off the image of his face after she had said that. So much guilt shining in his eyes, the deep regret he apparently carried around because of something that usually didn't even bother her In the slightest, visible in every fiber of his being.
She had been left speechless by the depth of his sadness, as she had been unaware that he even felt guilty because of this.
She had wanted to apologize so badly, to somehow take her words back but for some reason she couldn't voice those things after she had heard him murmur a silent "I am so sorry" whereupon he had turned around quickly and left her and the loft behind.
She scolded herself now, for not shouting or running after him, holding him back, telling him that it was no big deal, to apologize and assure him that they would figure out a place to go and that it really didn't matter.
It was her fault that they were both miserable now. That she was sitting in the dark loft alone, uncomfortable because she missed Castle's solid body behind her and tears dropping from her eyes every once in a while. That she was still haunted by the expression on his face, an expression of sadness and guilt that she had caused.
She prayed that he would call her back soon, hoping for a chance to make things right, to apologize, but more importantly, to unload him from the guilt he was unnecessarily carrying around.
She almost jumped when she finally felt her phone vibrating next to her, his smiling face lighting up her screen.
"Castle" she breathed into the receiver.
"We need to talk." He said earnestly, his voice reminding her of another time he had said the exact same words.
In that moment she realized that she could have figured it out much sooner, that she could have figured out where he went after leaving the building, after he had left her because of a fight.
And when she heard the loud beeping of an ended phone call on the other line she was already grabbing her jacket and half way through the door, on her way to him.
She was practically running towards their swing set, only barely able to make out the silhouettes in the dark of the night.
She was only a couple of meters away when she was finally able to make out his face in the dark.
He looked defeated, his eyes gazing downwards at his feet. The sight of him made her slow down, approaching him carefully now, not wanting to startle him or making it seem like she was still angry.
She sat down on the empty seat next to him, watching him intently, not sure whether she should say something or give him some more time to sort out his feelings.
"I'm so sorry Kate, I just wanted it to be special and I am sorry that I ruined all those places for us." His voice was nothing more than a whisper yet still resonating loudly in the silent of the night.
"No Castle" She said, reaching out her hand to rest it on his forearm.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. The things I said were way out of line." She saw him shaking his head slightly but he kept his silence.
She moved down to her knees then, kneeling in front of him, forcing him to meet her eyes.
"Castle, I don't care where we go. It doesn't have to be some place you have never visited with anyone else. The place isn't important. It will be our honeymoon, for all I know we could stay in New York just as well. As long as we are together it will always be magical. We don't need to find another place, because the place doesn't make the great memories, the person you share it with does and as long as you are there with me every place will be ours only."
She was looking at his eyes closely as she said, what she had thought about saying for the last couple of hours.
She reached out her palm to cup his cheek, noticing the slight stubble from not shaving this morning and started to draw slow circles with her thumb.
"Castle, I don't care about your past, I just really want to be your future. I just want to be with you"
She whispered silently and it was only then that she could see his eyes turning soft again and the corners of his lips starting to grace upwards only slightly.
"I think we can manage that" She heard the soft rumble of his voice and felt herself responding to his smile.
She knew that they would probably still need to have a lot of these talks until he would lose his doubts but for now she was content to just reach out for him and softly place her lips on his, pouring all her love in this kiss, showing him that he was everything.
Thank you for reading, reviews are welcome as always.