I had these series of events when I listened to 'So You Can Cry' and I came up with this! Due to so many things I want to convey (I'm writing this for fun after all), this song fic will be a very long-winded one, so please bear with it, or more so, stop reading if you feel it's too boring :). I just want to get these scenes out of my system, and you are my guinea pigs! XP Anyway, hope you enjoy my (boring) imagination, and please review if you like ^-^
So it's over
He's with someone else and you know her
And you just can't get any lower
You sit in the dark alone
And won't answer your phone
"Yamada," he called to her again, but she didn't answer. "Yamada, answer me."
Her tear-stained face was unanimated. With a blank expression, she stared at the wall silently. She watched, as the tears started to roll back on her cheeks, as she gasped, sniffing her snot in, and hiccupped.
"Yamada…" Suddenly the phone rang. It gave out the most infuriating noise, like someone walking in on a conversation, unable to tell the mood. She gazed at the phone for a moment, then turned to see the wall again.
Well, I'm sorry
I won't attend your pity party
I'd rather go have calamari
And maybe a drink
And here's the thing, you should come with me
He picked up the phone in obligation and rejected the call. Then he put it in his shirt pocket. "Yamada, let's have a drink," he said.
The girl said nothing and continued to be mesmerised by the wall. He didn't usually grit his teeth, but he did, and kneeled next to her. "Yamada," he called out again.
She hid her face behind her knees and waved her hand, as if telling him to leave her alone, as if saying that he won't be able to cheer up, and save her, when the situation had already come down to this.
Mayama had announced his engagement party invitations to everyone. Morita was there at that time, and maybe that was what Mayama planned to do: have everyone, including himself, to attend to his discussion of marriage. Morita didn't know of Mayama's heartlessness until then.
He picked her up, closing his ears to her screams of rejection. But they didn't come, those screams. In fact, she didn't even fight back. She held herself still, as though she was a wooden doll. Somehow, right now, for Morita, her obedience made him feel rotten. He dashed through the door of her room and sprinted, out from the shabby apartment gate. He ran and ran, trying to keep up with his own speeding adrenaline. He then stopped, sliding on the pavement of a district, metres from an elegant glass door.
He lowered her weak figure and she stood from his hold, weakly wobbling as she steadied herself. She swung her head left and right until her eyes came to a sign above the glass door they stopped in front of. She slightly frowned, if there was chance that it was even possible. "Is this where you were planning to take me for a drink?" she asked, and he nodded. "Morita-san," she tiredly sighed, "I couldn't go into that kind of place."
"Why?"
"Because…" She hardened her eyes, though it didn't succeed when she felt her head spinning. "Because I couldn't in this kind of state."
"Nobody would question it," Morita said softly. "You're here for a drink, aren't you?"
Life isn't long
There will be pain but life goes on
With everyday a brand new song
But if you rather stay at home…
"I would rather be at home right now," she whispered, shivering to the cold gale that hit her. He just realised they had forgotten to wear their coats. Nonetheless, he didn't even feel a slight shiver, not until she said those words of hers.
Let me do you a favour
He twitched and laughed bitterly - "That's fine by me."
I'll ask the sun to shine away from you today so you can cry
"Cry, cry until your eye falls off. Drown in your sorrow. Go ahead, I won't stop you."
He never said sour words like these before, but it left him no other choice. She was the first person to make him feel this way. This taste of juvenile jealously and pain… It was so real to him when she made them.
If that's what you want…
"If that's what you want, I won't stop."
Alright
Her eyes widened at the statement.
I'll ask the clouds to bring the rain for you today so you can cry
If that's what you want...
Alright
"I…" Her face crumpled, torn between the two voices in her head. Go home… No, go with him…
Morita clenched his jaws in waiting, yet he gave up when she didn't say a thing. His hands flew to her…
I'm a lover
And the pain of the heart of another
Can be difficult to recover
Yes, this I know
But difficult…
… and he couldn't help but hold her in his arms.
… isn't impossible
He squeezed his eyes shut and buried his lips in her hair. She flinched.
And you shiver
He was your warmth
You cry, lips quiver
Well, honey, go on and cry me a river
"Cry," he pleaded. "Cry as much as you want. Cry until you only know how to laugh."
He felt her stiffened but she nodded, and as she gasped in pain, she forced the tears that had hurt her out. He locked her arms around her even tighter when he heard her chock.
And the tears didn't stop flowing…
You wanna be down?
Well then, fine let me help you out
How about…
"Forget him," he scolded. "Forget him. He's too much in love with her to respond to your feelings. Stop chasing him."
She shook her head wearily. "I… I… can't… Mo-Morita…san…"
I'll ask the sun to shine away from you today so you can cry
If that's what you want…
Alright
"You can," he said, almost shouting.
And your tears won't bring him back
I know you wish that it did
But it just don't work like that
"Because your tears won't bring him back, or make him fall for you."
I know that healing takes time…
"I…I will make you forget him. I will heal you."
She sobbed. "Morita-san, what… what are you saying?"
Hey, even your heart has a pace!
But how much time are you gonna take?
He loosened his arms. "I…" He scrubbed his thumbs on her cheeks, rubbing the dried tears off. She looked at him with eyes glossed with confusion, but she cracked a withered smile, and not long after, cried much harder on his shoulder.
"T-Thank you," she hiccupped. "Thank you for everything. Your words at the art room… All of your words of apologise… Thank you. Thank you for them. But… But I… Now…" She clutched at his shirt. "…I cannot… turn back… I cannot…"
He grimaced and pulled away, and before she could say anything, he cradled her in his arms again, and dashed.
Too much will be a mistake
He moved, moved like his mind told him to. He bumped through crowded places, he went up fences and backyards, he even ignored the traffic lights. He noticed the mocking stares they received, as if telling them that they were just some idiotic pair that seek attention, but he passed through them. He just needed to go to that place…
Finally.
Once again he skidded, stopping at the corner of a small, rusty ferris wheel. He panted heavily, collapsing on the grass. He didn't know that he was running so fast until his feet gave out on him. Much to his surprise, he had forgotten that the young woman was still in his arms, dragged down by his weight onto the ground.
"Sorry," he gasped, still exhausted. "I forgot that you are…" He stopped when he felt puffs of air on his cheeks, and he realised that she was laughing.
"I was… was scared stiff when you suddenly did that," she chuckled.
"Did what?"
"When you suddenly carried me off like that, for the second time."
He smiled. Thank god, she got some of old self back.
The cold breeze around them picked up pace, and he felt calmness when it tugged at his hair and made it worl went hush for a second… Then, not knowing what to do next, he continued to speak.
"Remember when we ride the ferris wheel together, all of us, when I forced you into one cart with Mayama, and Takemoto, Nezumi and I were at another cart?" She nodded faintly. "That memory came to just now, and before I could stop doing something related to the memory… here we are." He lifted his hand majestically, presenting her a new and spectacular show. "Now, if only I could get up…" And, as if by magic, he did. Hisfeet didn't feel as heavy as they were, and his body gradually lightened. He patted his jeans and offered her a hand.
"Morita-san." She copied Morita's action of patting her clothes. "What is your real reason for bringing me here?"
"To wash away your pain," he simply answered.
Before she could ask any more, he took her hand and jogged to the one officer that guarded the place and asked if they could have a ride. Morita handed him a few hundred yen and the officer opened the dangling cart before them. He hastily led her to sit on the opposite side of him, and the wheel began to turn.
They looked outside in silence, admiring the glazed landscape of the night. The the shimmering sky seemed brighter as they slowly peaked, and with every twinkle of the stars, the heavy load heaving her chest seemed to fade.
Morita glanced at her nervously. He thought that everything will be sorted once they arrived at this place, but nothing seemed to change.
He sighed with relief when she gazed intently at the black sky, slightly smiling to herself.
She turned her gaze towards him. "This place… it really did feel like last time."
"Yes."
Not a sound for a moment, and the creaks of the insects grew louder.
Do something, Morita Shinobu, do something, a voice said desperately.
"Yamada," he sternly stated. "Will you m-m-ma…" He tried again. "Ma-m-m-mar-r…"
He knocked his head on the glass and screamed, pulling his hair in frustration and weeping solemnly. He felt that he was about to explode. His face was red, he was sure of it, and his eyes looked like two swirling tornados. He was about to shake the cart when his eyes fell upon her face, which was stunned, looking at him with a horrified expression. He had never seen a reaction like that before, and especially because it was her who made it, the same as it was when she made and gave the feelings of envy and pain to him, he slumped to his seat, shaking, trying to muffle the building roar of pain in his heart. "I…"
I'll ask the sunshine away from you today so you can cry
If that's what you want…
Alright
I'll ask the clouds to bring the rain for you today so you can cry
If that's what you want…
Alright
"I want you to marry me!" he squealed.
She threw herself back in surprise. She starred at him, seemingly more terrified of his words than his actions. "Mori-"
"Please, forget about him!" He tensed. "Please forget about him, and give your feelings to me instead!"
Ayumi couldn't take her eyes off him. She was shocked, shocked, shocked, double shocked. She didn't know what he was planning. First, he took her to a café, and he took her here, then…
…then he proposed?
"M-Morita-san…Are… A-Are you alright?"
He snatched her wrists and tried not to squeak. "Am I not serious enough?"
"Wha-" Her question was stopped when he rushed to her lips and kissed her there.
What?
Soon the weight of her pain fell on her head again as she was brought back to reality with his kiss, and she realised, for the umpteenth time, that she was heartbroken. She squirmed at a sharp needle threading through her chest, thinking that frightening suggestion would pop in her head again, yet at the same time she thought, she realised that the needle intended no harm and was actually trying to mend together her broken heart, back to how it originally was.
He pulled away, and the needle cease to sew, but he quickly replaced his kiss to her forehead and let his hand rest lightly on her hair, letting the aiding needle to continue its job. Moments later, he jerked away from her completely, covering his mouth, his face a tomato red.
Morita's eyes widened in horror. What had he just done? How could he do that to her? She was squirming, crying harder than ever before. She was rigid, her hand was clutching the small piece of her sweater tightly. Had he cause her more pain?
The next thing she did was unpredicted, as she threw herself on him and wailed in her tears. "H-He is so mean. He… I gave him my heart, for all these years yet… yet… he… he didn't even take it. That idiot, Mayama!"
He was going to say something, when suddenly, he felt the cart bumped, and he realised that the ride had ended. Right when he was about to tell her that they needed to come out – as she didn't seem to notice – the wheel started to turn again. He spun his head towards the officer, and the officer only wrinkly smiled and nodded to him.
"Morita-san, p-please tell me why…" He snapped back his head to her. "why… I couldn't have just ended my life there and then. It's so painful now… so painful… It would be so much easier if I end everything with-"
"Don't say it!" he growled, an electricity of shock running through his spine. "Don't ever attempt to say it!"
"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I made you worry, I'm really sorry…"
"Not only did you make me worry, you… you gave me a heart attack!"
"I'm sorry." She slid her leaning head down his shirt, implying a bow.
"I…!" He felt a hot tingling feeling rising up to his cheeks. "You know, I l-lo…"
He held his head, thinking of screaming again, when the whisper of his father came to his ears. Shinobu, I've always wished for your happiness, so don't lose any of the chances to obtain it …
"I…I-I-love… you," he finally declared, slowly turning to the side, trying to hide the scarlet blush that he knew he had.
"Thank you. Thank you for troubling yourself to this extent, but you really didn't have to say…"
"Yamada!" He placed her hand on his chest, a little bit frustrated at her inability to believe his confession. "If I did say this for a pretense, w-why is my heart beating so fast right now?"
As the thumping of his chest accelerated on her hand, she blushed. He averted his attention away from her, trying hard to keep his calm. "It doesn't mater if you don't accept my feelings. I… just hope that it can help you forget about him."
"I…" She blushed darker. "Morita-san, this is..."
"You don't have to answer to it. Just keep it in mind." He bit his lips. I… I don't want her to have more burden to carry… Ugh, why did I even confess? Dad, is this really the right thing to do? Aren't I just being sel-
"Morita-san…"
"I know my name is very cool, but please stop saying," he said, grinning. Please keep saying it…
She laughed. "Baka," she muttered, and she clutched at his shirt bring him closer to her. "Would… Would it be okay if… Ah, I can't say 'would it be okay to just be friends first', can I, since you are… already… one of my precious friends?"
A sense of happiness blanketed the previously puzzled heart of his. "Yes, you're right." Though you should have just said no…
If that's what you want…
Alright
"Arrgh," Morita yelled, and without thinking, ruffled at her already messy hair. "Ha?" Then Morita stopped. He jumped at the sight of the fiery figure in front of him and was K.O.-ed with the bash of her iron on his chin. In slow motion, you could see Morita spitting blood and giving a thumb up. He fainted not long after.
"I could have said 'I love you back" if you weren't being so annoying." And she left him in the cart when the cart stopped, ignoring the fact that his soul was floating back to its 'happy place' up in the sky.
The officer felt that there was something not quite right with the scenario before him. The lady stomped out of the cart grudgingly, leaving the liveless body of the man she came with. He previously pictured as a very loving couple after the ride and was a bit disappointed, but when he saw a whole-hearted smile as the girl swiftly passed by him, he could not help but thought that there was no better ending.
If that's what you want…
-/-
Sorry, I have to end it there, because, if I didn't, I would have just gone on and on and on until I die in the spot. TT-TT Well, well, well, I have to say 'I FEEL GLORIOOOUSS'. That is out of my system now and I'M HAPPY. Oh, I'm also planning to put up the unfinished draft of this story (yes, believe it or not, even though this is for the sake of pouring down my thoughts, I actually planned the beginning of the story) which is more refreshing and shorter and… unfinished O-O So, wait for it! O-^