Psycho at the Table

by Crack God

A crack fic. Everyone hates the psycho and the psycho is clueless. Extremely weird and humorous.Oneshot. Bad summary, so please read and review.

Psycho at the Table

By: Crack God

Dedicated to: Rolland and The warmth of the Afterglow

A/N: This fic is basically a typical day at my lunch table at school. I just changed my friends and myself into Naruto characters. Some parts are added for more humor, but for the most part it's what really happens. Oh, and I'm Neji, just to give you the heads up. And I also had to split a few of my friends into more than one Naruto character, mostly just for the girls, or not. Well, here it is.

666

Neji walked over to his lunch seat. Oh, great! The psycho, also known as Rock Lee, Bushy Brows, or Bug Eyes, was already at the table. 'Why did that freak even sign up for that spot,' Neji thought to himself. 'I could swear that he's a fucking gay unicorn!'

"Hi Neji," Tenten said, sitting down diagonally from Neji. "That last Algebra- err I mean ninja test was hard! Oh, and I got that email. That story was hilarious! I can't wait for the next chapter!"

"Yeah, that test was pretty hard," Naruto said, walking over to his seat and sitting down.

"That test drained 1.134628689 percent of my youth!" Lee exclaimed.

"Shut the hell up, Lee!" Sasuke yelled, sitting down into his own seat.

"Bitch!" Lee retaliated.

"He has the worst comebacks," Naruto stated.

"Well, what would you expect from him?" Neji replied. "He doesn't have a mom. Instead he has two dads."

Everyone, including Lee, at the table cracked up.

"You're such a loser, Lee," Naruto crackled. "Good one, Neji!"

Then Shino came and sat at the table, sitting between Lee and Sasuke. Surprisingly, Shino actually started to talk to the psycho.

"Okay, I got to go," Tenten said, leaving the table.

"Why are Shino and the psycho actually talking to each other?" Sasuke asked.

"Who knows," Naruto said.

"They're just a couple of gay unicorns," Neji commented.

"Who's a gay unicorn?" Ino asked, sitting down at the table.

"The psycho," Sasuke replied.

"Oh," Ino said. Then she gazed at Sasuke and Neji.

"Stop looking at me you whore!" Neji exclaimed.

"Don't call me a whore!" Lee whined, who was unknowingly gazing at Neji and Sasuke as well as Shino and Naruto, which must have been hard.

"That took me out of my comfort zone," Neji said, who is afraid of gay people so he is a homophobic.

"Join me Neji!" Lee creepyly exclaimed.

Then Neji threw a kunai at Dee-D-Dee, err, I mean Rock Lee. The kunai hit Lee's head and split it open.

"MY YOUTHFULNESS IS RUINED!" Lee exclaimed, dying on the seen.

"Neji, do you want me to take care of the body?" Shikamaru said, mysteriously appearing.

"Sure, go ahead," Neji answered.

Then Shikamaru grabbed Lee's body and ran off to Washington DC with it, secretly raping the deceased body in the president's bed. But I really, really DO NOT want to go into the details, so spare me the trouble of my fear.

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Back at the lunch table, Lee was sitting at his seat, but Shikamaru was gone. No one seemed to care though. They just only wished that Neji's kunai really did kill that psycho.

"Lee, I love you!" Gai exclaimed, showing his face.

"I love you too!" Lee exclaimed.

Then Lee made out with himself because in reality he just pretended that Gai was there and he thought that he was making out with the real Gai sensei.

"LET'S KILL THAT PSYCHO!" every one but the psycho exclaimed, for the psycho was to busy making out with himself. "KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KIlL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL! KILL THAT PSYCHO! KKKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL"

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A/N: That's the end of it. It may be confusing, but it's just a very short crack fic. CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK! CRACK! Yes, I do need help but right now I don't care. I'll be doing a bunch of one-shots for a little bit, just to let you know. If you want a sequel to this let me know so I can give it to you. Thanks for reading and please review! REVIEW PLEASE!