"You will be rebrewing the potion you failed at so abysmally yesterday under my gaze for your detention tonight Potter, then I shall retest it. You will keep brewing until you manage to get it correct so I hope you do it correct first try, after all, I have better ways to spend my weekend than watching you destroy the art of potioneering."
"Yes sir." Harry knew that this was coming as soon as the man had set the potion in class. A familial test potion he knew would be his downfall the first time he heard that would be one of their assignments. The next half an hour was spent in silence as he followed the instructions perfectly and under the man's watchful gaze. He took the completed potion off the heat and looked up at the man to see what to do next.
"The blood Potter." Harry pricked his finger and allowed three drops to fall into the potion before Snape did the same, the cauldron full of clear liquid turning purple as soon as he did. The man narrowed his eyes at the teen and walked back to his desk, sitting with crossed arms as he considered the teen. "Again." Harry once again brewed the potion and the same result came when the blood was added so the man cast a spell on the potion to find out exactly what had been done and added at which time and found it matched his instructions perfectly.
The man pulled out his own one that he'd made as an example and dripped some blood in it before waiting for Harry to do the same. The man seemed frustrated when his own version changed colour but Harry stood there blankly, watching the man.
"You have to have done something, added something along with your blood. A dirty needle or something."
"If you say so sir. Get a different needle and I'll do it again."
"It cannot be right." Harry patiently brewed the potion for a third time and held out his hand to the man when he was done, Snape pricking his finger with a sterile needle. "It can't be right."
"You watched sir, and you brewed it yourself."
"Do not argue with me it is not possible so somehow you are changing the potion." Harry didn't answer and continued to look at the man with a blank expression. "Come with me. The headmaster can perform the genetic spell."
"Why sir?"
"Because this potion cannot be right and he will give me the proof that you are tampering with potions in a potentially dangerous way."
"Sir, you can't even handle the possibility. Don't keep looking for proof until you get enough you can't deny. Get me to brew it as many times as you want, accept I've done it wrong, or accept that I'm tampering with it but you don't have to do this."
"Why are you not more panicked about this?" Snape queried suspiciously. "You did do something to the potion, didn't you?"
"I'm not more panicked about this because I've known since I was fucking 9 years old!" Harry shouted before leaving the room angrily and dropping to the floor outside the closed door. He was not expecting the door to be forcefully ripped open by the man who glared down at him.
"In, now! I did not say your detention was over." Harry stood and walked past the sour man, standing back at his cauldron as he ground his teeth and avoided eye contact with the man. "Explain," he demanded but Harry refused to say a word or even acknowledge the man's order. Snape turned his back and forced himself to calm down before looking back at the teen. "What do you mean?"
"Sweet Merlin. You can't accept that the potion is saying we are related, you want to get the proof to kick me out of school but you will only get proof that you can't deny of a fact you won't accept. Just leave it alone sir. Dock me points and fail my assignment like you normally would."
"No, explain what you meant and what that has to do with this potion."
"Jesus Christ sir, you slept with her on the night before her wedding and she gives birth 9 months later. A quick charm means that no one questions why her child is the son of a Death Eater and not her husband. Let's go to the headmaster and get your bloody proof if it is that important to you, it's not like it will bloody change anything anyway."
"Let's." Harry walked ahead of Snape angrily on the way to the headmaster's office and waited in a stormy silence for the man to catch up to him and say the password. Snape instantly demanded the spell be performed on them both so the headmaster drew his wand but didn't point it at them yet.
"Harry my boy, do you agree to this request?"
"Do whatever he wants." Dumbledore's eyes widened as he read the results and handed them across to Harry who simply passed across the parchment to the other man without even glancing at it.
"Do you not want to know my boy?"
"I already know what it says sir. Professor Snape simply couldn't accept that perhaps there is a chance I'm not as bad at potions as he thinks and he wanted proof I couldn't tamper with, no doubt. Can I go now sir?"
"I don't know my boy. I've been told you were issued a detention you must currently be serving so it is down to Professor Snape to dismiss you."
"Thank you headmaster," Snape said as he broke from his thoughts. "Potter, back to my classroom, now!" The teen bid the headmaster a farewell before walking out of the room and walking down to the dungeons with Snape beside him, still shocked at the results on the piece of parchment he was clutching tightly. As soon as they reached the classroom, Harry busied himself with clearing up his work station while the man began to sort out his thoughts.
"You knew?"
"Of course."
"For 7 years, and you never said?"
"Why would I?"
"Why-" Harry interrupted Snape's shocked question in frustration.
"I told you not to go looking for the proof from the headmaster. Tell me, are you disgusted by having a child, or disgusted that it's me?"
"I'm not-"
"No? I'll take that as being me that's the answer then."
"Stop trying to deflect!" Snape shouted.
"Stop trying to get answers I know you do not want!" Harry replied just as loud. "What is it that poor Snape wants to hear? His son knew about him for 7 years and never said, I can see how that's an issue for you," he said sarcastically.
"Why have you never said?"
"I knew your name when I was 9, I found the face that went with it when I was 11. I found that you hated everything about me on our very first lesson. I figure you'd probably look after me out of some misguided sense of duty so either way I'm left living with people who hate me. If I didn't tell you then you can at least enjoy your life rather than detest every second you are sharing your home with your spawn." Harry looked up at the man for the first time since returning to the room and Snape found himself caught in the stormy green gaze that dared him to deny the words.
"You had to go and get your proof that I was tampering with potions and it backfired on you. What did you really achieve sir? The kid you hate is really your own kid, well done. The kid you hate has been lying to you for 5 years, of course I have, my whole life is based around lies. The kid you hate is now even more of a disappointment because you know the truth of who I am. The kid that you hate accepts the hatred from you and the rest of his living family to spare you, until you went and forced the truth into the light. Finally, let me guess, you no longer know what to think and feel, the child you bullied because of who his father is, is actually your son so you've spent 5 years tormenting him pointlessly while he knew the truth. I'm going to go with you feel shock, betrayed, you still hate me though you feel you shouldn't, and you kinda hate yourself for what you've done to me. Am I correct sir?" Snape didn't answer the boy. "Is my detention done now sir?"
"Just sit Potter," he snapped before thinking about his words, "Harry."
"God, now hasn't that thrown you. I never thought about my very name. That one word, the nicest thing you call me, isn't even true, and more so, it's a reminder that Lily lied to you, lied to the whole world. There are four people in the whole world that know the truth now sir, and all of them are currently residing in this castle."
"Shut up Potter- Harry!" The teen smirked as he reclined back in the chair and watched Snape's turmoil as he paced to and fro in front of the boy.
"You brought this on yourself," he said in a sing-song voice making the man glare and round on him.
"I'm warning you child."
"What, what are you going to do? No doubt you wouldn't be the first one, I'm afraid- in every punishment- my uncle has beaten you to it. What does that leave you in your arsenal? Locking me in a cupboard for 10 years, done. Beatings, done. Whipped, done. Chores, done. Denying my existence,
done. Rape, done. Now from my point of view, that leaves you with- hmm- nothing. No threats you can use against your son. Now, doesn't that just boil your blood that you weren't the one to do all those things to your most hated person, to know that you missed your chance to break him in that new way." Harry continued on without pause, riling up the man.
"Well, now you're probably figuring that you've got magic on your side to come up with more ways so let's see what you're left with there. Rape again, Lockhart. Killing my family, Voldy. Killing my friend, Voldy. Making me responsible for my Godfather's death, Voldy. Traipsing through my head and torturing me nightly with images, Voldy. Cruciatus curse, Voldy. Slicing my wrists open, Pettigrew and myself. Basilisk, Voldy and Malfoy. Relive my worst memories, Dementors. Deadly tournament, Crouch. Trying to kill me but it never works, myself and yet another point for Voldy. I'm not really seeing that there is much left for you to try. Probably some sort of painful poison you cooked up in one of your cauldrons, well go ahead, have at me!" Harry took a deep breath and realised he had just revealed all of his closely guarded secrets in one argument and felt a little sick and light headed. "I gotta go," he mumbled before staggering out of the room and straight up to the infirmary, breaking down in the mediwitch's arms as soon as he saw she wasn't treating anyone.
The woman carefully stroked his hair and moved so that the two of them were sat on the sofa in her office, out of sight of anyone who might walk in. She whispered reassurances to the boy in her embrace until he calmed down and ceased crying.
"What happened?"
"He knows. He knows EVERYTHING. I- I got mad at him and I told him everything. I was- I was- I was trying to-"
"Let me guess, you were trying to see how far you can go before he retaliates and how he retaliates to prepare yourself in future."
"I didn't mean to, it just sort of happened."
"It's okay, most in your situation find themselves doing the same with new adults, testing their limits. Finding out what rules they can break and what rules must never be broken."
"But I told him everything."
"How did he react?"
"I don't know, I ran here before I could give him time to answer. You're the only one who knew everything and now he does too and-"
"Would I be asking too much of you to go back to him and talk?"
"You want me to go back?"
"I think you SHOULD but you don't have to." Harry sniffed and wiped at his eyes before nodding and standing from the couch. He walked back out of the infirmary and down the stairs to the dungeons, knocking quietly on the man's classroom door. He heard a door open to his left so he looked down the corridor and spotted the man looking at him from his office door so he dropped his head in submission.
"Come in," he stated in forced calm when he saw the teen stood there so Harry walked nearer and slipped carefully past the man into the office and stood with his head still bowed in the centre of the room, waiting to be told what to do next. "Sit down." Harry rushed to comply but still didn't look up at the man. "You came back?"
"Madam Pomfrey thought I should," he whispered.
"Calmed down now?" Harry nodded carefully while making sure his eyes were fixed on his hands in his lap. "I take it she is the fourth person who knows the truth of our relationship." Harry nodded again making Snape repress a sigh. "Why did you leave?" The teen shrugged his shoulder. "Talk," he demanded, annoyed at his avoidance.
"I- I told you everything," he whispered as though that explained anything to the man.
"So?"
"Only Madam Pomfrey knows. You were never meant to find it out and I told you everything. You just found out who I really am, then I told you what a disappointment I am. I- you were never meant to know." Harry began to subconsciously scratch at his left wrist beneath the edge of his robe, not realising he was doing it until Snape reached across his desk and put his hand on Harry's. The teen jerked his hands away but stopped scratching at them, leaving the man's hand hanging in the air until he slowly drew it back.
"Why did you go to her? Were you feeling ill? You didn't look particularly steady when you left my classroom."
"She knows. I didn't mean to tell you anything, you were never meant to know we're related even. I- I wanted to vomit and pass out but I went to her and panicked, then came back when she said she thought I should after explaining something to me."
"What did she explain that brought you back down here?"
"Why I said what I did." Snape nodded in acknowledgment and moved from his chair to the one next to the teen, hesitantly reaching across and resting his hand on Harry's back. The teen tensed at first but as the man started to rub his back soothingly he relaxed and carefully smiled over at the man before dropping his head again. "I'm sorry sir," he whispered while chewing on his lip.
"What for?"
"Being born," he mumbled before speaking louder as he continued. "For shouting earlier, for leaving my detention without being told to, for actually getting a potion right, for ruining your life."
"They aren't things to be sorry for. None of them," he emphasised with a pointed look at the teen so Harry nodded slowly. "Sweet Merlin, you're my son."
"I don't mind if you want to pretend you never found out."
"No. I just need time to think about it."
"Do you want me to go sir?"
"No." Harry dropped his head once more and sat there in silence. "Alright, I can't say I'm happy with your decision not to tell me but I can understand your choice."
"Yes sir."
"Doesn't mean that you are free and clear now though. There are many things that I find myself wanting to talk about. I can understand if you choose not to stay but if you do, I will have many questions I'd like you to answer for me."
"About what I told you sir?"
"That about covers it, yes." Harry chewed on his lip and tasted the blood as it began to flow from the teeth marks but he still refused to look anywhere but at his lap. "Do you wish to go through to my chambers?" Harry swallowed deeply and shrugged nervously. "To continue TALKING," he clarified when he noticed Harry's apprehension and fear but the teen just shrugged again. "We don't have to. The talking thing works better when it is two-sided though."
"Sorry sir."
"I- you don't have to call me that." Harry huffed in amusement at the man's words.
"Almost sounds like you are trying to hide your hatred sir. You don't have to bother."
"Pott- Harry, I am not saying you have to call me 'dad' or anything but my name would be a start."
"Why? You seem to be struggling enough with saying my name. You can call me Potter by the way, he knew the truth, he wrote in his will that I was his through marriage so I am technically a Potter, even if biologically I'm not." Harry wrapped his arms around himself tightly in an attempt of faux comfort. "I'm no one's," he whispered as he squeezed his belly painfully and ducked away from the hand that was still on his back. Harry shifted his chair over so he was out of reach of the man while Snape made a show of holding his hands up in surrender.
"You're mine," the man stated calmly while watching Harry's actions and meeting the bright green gaze that looked up at him in consideration.
"Now that you forced Dumbledore to find out the truth just to tell you?"
"You always were, I just didn't know it."
"And you believe that you knowing will actually change a thing?"
"I'm willing to chance it and say yes. I'm willing to change it if you are." Harry nodded as he thought over these words and bit his lip before moving back nearer the man, hesitantly resting his head on the other's shoulder.
"We can go through to your chambers if you want to," he whispered nervously.
"Do you want to?"
"I don't mind but-" Harry froze and chewed on his thumb nail to stop him from saying anymore.
"But what my child?" he asked quietly while wrapping an arm around the teen's shoulders. He went to withdraw it when he felt Harry tense but the boy grabbed at his hand to prevent him doing so. "What's wrong Harry?"
"I'm scared."
"Then we don't have to go through but you have my solemn word that I won't do a thing to hurt you."
"I want to trust you but I've fallen for that promise before and I still end up being hurt."
"Then we won't be going through. It's entirely your choice. If you don't want to, we don't have to, ever. I would like you to grow to trust me enough but until that day, I am not going to force you into anything."
"Let's go on through."
"Harry-"
"It's okay, I- one chance at trust. If you break it once, that's it. You're going to have to work like 100 times harder to win it back and prove it to me." Harry didn't look at the man as he said these words, hesitant enough to even say them.
"Okay, one chance. I can work with that. Only if you are sure that is, absolutely sure. I don't want you to force yourself into this."
"One chance sir, don't make me change my mind about that before I even know if I was right to. Please? If you keep asking, I'm only going to know that you think it was a bad idea for me to put this trust in you, I'm scared enough as it is."
"It's not sir, and if you are scared, don't do it."
"Please dad. I- I mean sir, Sev, Severus. Please Severus." Harry had begged at first before he realised what he had said and immediately tried to rectify it in a panic before he got in trouble.
"You may call me what you wish. I am not going to force you to call me one thing or another. I would request that you do not call me 'sir' unless we are in lesson or another school scenario however if that is the only thing you feel comfortable with, it's fine." Snape stood up and offered a hand to the teen who eyed it with suspicion before accepting it and following the man through a door that was off to the side of his desk. The man sat down on one of the sofas while Harry looked around the room, leaving a seat next to him on the sofa as well as the chairs free for wherever Harry made the decision to sit down. He was somewhat shocked when Harry sat down next to him with all the other choices in the room, especially after revealing how scared he was.
"I- what do you want to talk about?"
"I don't mind, just figured that it would be more comfortable here than in my office for whatever we continued to discuss. Even if you just wanted to read and not talk. You are, of course, allowed to leave at any time if you choose but if you are still here past curfew, I shall escort you back." Harry nodded before resting his head on the man's shoulder and yawning widely.
"I love whoever made this the weekend, I plan on sleeping like all day tomorrow."
"Do you want to go back to your dorm and back to sleep?" Harry shook his head and toed off his shoes before tucking his toes under the man's thighs as he shifted slightly closer. The arm wrapped back around him and Harry tucked himself further into the man's side. "Do you want to sleep here?" The teen shook his head more vigorously as he began to panic but Snape remained calm. "Okay, not sleeping here either. We can just sit or we can talk or do whatever until you decide you want to leave."
"I- I don't know what I want to do," he whispered.
"That's okay. You can take as long as you want to decide. We don't have to do anything until you know if you want to do anything." The teen furrowed his brows at this answer and considered the statement.
"But I don't know what I want to do."
"I'm not saying you have to. Just relax child. If something comes to your mind, tell me and we shall do it, I will do what I can to make it happen." Harry nodded against the man and allowed his eyes to flutter shut as he forced himself to relax against the other.
"So, were you more shocked you had a child or that I can actually brew a potion correctly, repeatedly?" he asked without opening his eyes.
"Rather level footing actually. I never expected you to have gotten it right when I saw the result, let alone that you could repeat that fluke. As my son, however, I would except perfection from every potion."
"Good avoidance of the question. Very Slytherin of you sir- Sev."
"Okay, I was incredibly shocked that I had a child, the fact that it was you was then even more of a shock, but only because I knew for a fact that I hadn't had a child when there was only one person that I have ever been with in that sense, and her only son looks exactly like her husband. I was impressed that you got it right, numerous times, and disbelieving that you weren't somehow cheating and changing it to create those results. I was determined that you had it entirely wrong to have the result that I was your father and yet I checked your working and watched you brew it so I knew that you hadn't logically done that."
"I think that is the most I have ever heard you say in one go unless you are belittling me."
"You seem to find a multitude of reasons to make me belittle you in class, and in the halls, and in detention, all of which were rather unfair of me now though I am realising." Harry smiled gently and tucked himself further into the man. "I am regrettably unable to take all that back though."
"I haven't asked you to. Not once have I requested that you take back all of the things that you said to me. I have never requested that you treat me any different that you did before you found out. You do that, and it is of your own accord, not because I came crying to daddy about how he was mean to me. I actually understand people hating me, I've grown up in that situation, it makes sense to me, more so than people worshipping me for not dying."
"Alas, that treatment will not be continuing, in private anyway. If I have to give you a detention, it will be regretfully. If they are unfair detentions in order to keep up appearances, I will give you house points and you won't actually have a punishment but you will have to stay in my classroom or office to keep up the pretence and do your homework or whatever you want."
"If my homework is all done, can we just sit?"
"If you choose, having seen you brew that potion correctly and at a perfect skill level, can I expect to see an improvement in your potions work?"
"No," Harry stated without any doubt.
"Why not?"
"Because I have nothing to prove to you. People don't want me to be great at potions, they want me to be good at Defence, Charms and Transfiguration. I am not expected to be good at potions, I am expected to show people what it is that they want to see from me. After all, hundreds of lives are counting on me fulfilling this prophecy. Might as well do it as they want me to."
"I expect you to do your best in every subject. Does that not count for anything?"
"No, it would if you were a bigger part of the number of people who are counting on me, or if you hadn't only just started taking an interest in my schooling, alas I have spent five years becoming the person that people expect and not the one that you want."
"I suppose that is fair enough."
"I tell you what, in detention I will brew and show you my true skills if you want."
"I suppose that is the best that I am going to get, isn't it?"
"If I get higher than an 'Acceptable' on any assignment the offer is revoked. I know that what I hand in during lessons is only just a pass so if you are allowing me any leeway or taking any other potions I brew as a retest, I will know."
"You really aren't going to give me any chance to improve your potions score, are you?"
"Not in the slightest," Harry laughed before yawning widely.
"Honestly child, go back to your dorm and get some sleep."
"Are you trying to get rid of me because I will go if you want?"
"Not at all."
"Then I am perfectly fine sitting here. If you don't mind that is."
"Of course I don't, however you said that you were tired but that you wouldn't sleep here, therefore the option would seem to be that you go to your dorm and to bed."
"I- I'll stay here with you. I'll be fine. I'm tired but I'm not sleepy. We can talk some more if you want."
"About anything?" Harry nodded into his chest and wrapped an arm around the man's stomach. "Let's start with the slitting your wrists and trying to kill yourself comments then." Harry moved his arms away from his body and offered them out towards the other. He didn't open his eyes as he felt his sleeves being raised and other's fingers lightly caressing the scars.
"That really tickles," he muttered as fingers moved nearer to the inside of his wrist.
"Why?"
"I don't know. The skin is more tender. No one has ever seen the scars so it is more personal. Being ticklish is a fear response so maybe I'm just scared of you."
"You know for a fact that isn't the point that I am questioning."
"But it is the easier question to answer."
"That may be, you do not have to answer me." Harry before pushing himself away from the man so that he could spin to face him more, awkwardly perching backwards on the edge of the sofa.
"I-I just wanted it to end."
"What?"
"Everything. Home, expectations, prophecies, mad men, all of it. I wanted to put a stop to it, or at least to forget about it for a while. I'm not used to people liking, and worshipping, me, I cut to ground myself and bring myself back down to earth, to help to remind me that I am not perfect. Spilling my blood makes that easier for a while so I never saw any reason to stop."
"They are varying depths, widths, not straight and non-parallel, not baring the main hints towards self-harm."
"What better way to remain undiscovered if someone saw the scars than to ensure that they didn't bare any resemblance to that act? It is my personal insurance on the matter." Harry across at the man as if it were the most obvious question that he had just asked the teen. "I keep them covered with glamours anyway, not like they are ever seen unless I want them to be, don't even show up on the scans done in the infirmary. I figured if I was unconscious and they failed, these wouldn't scream self-harm immediately."
"You are far too snakelike for a lion."
"How about an honorary lion?"
"How are you an honorary lion?"
"I refused Slytherin when the hat tried to put me there so it put me in Gryffindor. I was never meant to be a lion, always meant to be a snake, follow in my father's footsteps through school but I was put off by people constantly telling me I would be evil if I went there. I was apparently famous as defeating the evillest wizard of our age, I didn't want people to think that I only killed him to free up the mantle for myself."
"Do you still try it?"
"I no longer try and kill myself, not until I've done my task, there's no point. There is no reason to stop the cutting."
"I'm not sure I agree with that conclusion."
"I'm not sure that I asked." Harry ducked away when the man raised an eyebrow in challenge, shifting to the very opposite end of the sofa and wrapping his arms around himself for protection. He refused to take back the words or apologise for them but he still cowered in fear. As a hand reached out to him, he pushed back further, ending up falling back over the arm of the seat, flipping himself to land on his knees before instantly pushing further away from the man until he was in the corner of the room, breathing heavily as the other watched him in consideration.
"You done?" he asked with an emotionless face, Harry swallowing deeply in fear before nodding. "Are you coming back over here?" The teen shook his head and folded himself tighter into the corner. "I cannot stop you if you want to continue with this habit. I would prefer that you stopped but I know that I have no right to come into your life now and tell you how to live it."
"It's really hard to stop," he whispered shamefully.
"You have tried to stop before then?" Harry looked down at the stones by his feet as he nodded.
"But it is hard."
"Alone, definitely. With help, probably so, but it would be somewhat easier I think. If only because you have the support of another."
"Are you offering that support?"
"If you want it." Harry bit his lip as he considered this offer from the man.
"I think I'd like that. Just- what if- say I fail and I end up cutting again- please don't hurt me." Snape stood and walked over to the teen, sitting down next to him on the floor and wrapped an arm around him.
"You wouldn't have failed. It would be a minor setback but one that we could get through."
"So, you won't hurt me for it?" he asked, his whispers barely able to disturb the air with how quiet they were.
"I'm not going to hurt you for anything, period. If you decide to take my help, I will gladly give it but none of it will be a cause for punishment."
"Even if I fail?"
"You can't fail, you can relapse but it is not a failure."
"What if it gets really bad and I decide that I don't want to stop?" Harry curled tighter as he asked this, trying to protect himself as much as he could from the backlash he was expecting.
"It isn't my right to make you. I ignored you for 11 years and then bullied you since you came to this school. I don't have the right to ask anything of you, if you say no to stopping, and MEAN it, we can stop. If that does happen though, it is not to be in secret and you are to stick to a few rules of my own. At least, I would like you to." Harry sighed in relief at these words and relaxed against the man, exhaling shakily as he did so.
"Just- help me."
"Any day," he stated sincerely and the room slipped into silence as they sat there. "You are 16, there are some decisions that I will just have to trust you to make when I haven't been there for all that time to help you with them in the first place," he whispered eventually.
"Stop acting as if you have no claim, you're my father now that you forced the truth into the light. You have the right to stop me doing what you want. I just wanted to check- I had to know- if I fail entirely- I had to know if you were going to hurt me because I'm not strong enough to stop this. I had to check if I decided that I couldn't go through with stopping, if that would be classed as a failure rather than a relapse or whatever title you want to give it so it isn't like I have let you down entirely."
"After 16 years of neglect, you think I deserve any rights to make decisions for you? It would not be a failure. I will never hurt you, no matter what."
"Neglect is what I get at home anyway, you just had 16 years of ignorance. Entirely different. You only achieve 16 years of neglect when I am 32 and you haven't let me go anywhere because I am locked up and fed through a cat flap. That is the point that I will add 16 years of neglect to your record."
"Not a title I will ever be earning then. I'll let you out when you turn 30," Harry looked fearfully up at the man until he saw the teasing smile from the man and relaxed into him.
"Bastard," he muttered so the man swatted the back of his head gently with an eyebrow raised.
"What was that for?"
"You really scared me then. I thought that you were being genuine. I couldn't face another 14 years like the last, I would give up on trying to quit before I even started. You really, REALLY scared me."
"I'm sorry," he stated genuinely. "I guess I wasn't really thinking."
"It was cruel."
"It wasn't intended to be that way. I'm afraid that there will probably be a great number of stupid mistakes like that. I don't know how to be a father and I will invariably make more comments like that as I try and make light of a situation to make you feel better but they will seem insensitive and the entire wrong thing to say but just remember that I don't want to hurt you and I don't mean to."
"I- okay." Harry shifted to sit facing him and dropped his head against the man's shoulder, releasing tension when arms wrapped around him comfortingly. Neither of them spoke and Snape soon realised that the teen had fallen asleep against him. He shifted the boy so he was in a comfier position for them both and summoned a book to read as they sat there.
The teen woke up after a few hours and stretched out before going seemingly boneless against him as he relaxed. "Sorry I fell asleep," he murmured into Snape's neck, waiting for the punishment he expected but arms just wrapped around tighter, a hand reaching up to brush through his hair. Harry couldn't stop the purr that he let out as the man did that and he flushed in embarrassment at it whereas the older man just chuckled at the sound.
"I don't mind you going to sleep child, I think you needed it. I had thought you decided against staying down here to sleep so I was a bit surprised but I definitely don't mind. You're welcome to stay here." Harry took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as he thought about how the day had taken an extreme turn.
"Weird thing is that I have been waiting for this day for 7 years and it finally happened. Now I don't know what I am meant to do. I have been wanting this to happen but I never actually wanted you to know. I feel very conflicted."
"I apologise. You asked me, and told me, not to find out the truth, that to me meant that you were hiding the fact you were cheating. Not that you were hiding the fact you were right and didn't want me to know."
"It's- I don't- it hasn't actually been that bad, you knowing. Other than me telling you all my closely-guarded secrets. You didn't chuck me out straight away in disgust so that was actually rather pleasant. I don't know that my family have ever done that, fitting that my father would be the first, strange that YOU were the first. I suppose it was less that I didn't want you to know, more that I didn't want to be there when it happened to see the disgust. I didn't want to be the one that you found out from. I had hoped to have finished school and left before you found out the truth." Harry moved to sit next to the man and focused his sorrowful gaze on the stones. "I had wanted to be dead before you found out."
"Well I would never have found out if that were the case."
"You would of. I'm their last member of the Evans family, in the magical world anyway. I'm the last in the Potter, even through marriage. I am destined to kill or be killed and I didn't think my chances were all that great. I wrote a will, for when Voldemort finally managed to kill me. I left you everything from both of the lines along with a letter to explain why I did it, and the goblin with the words to say to you when you burnt it without reading. If you couldn't even accept me in my death, enough to read a letter, they would tell you that it was just that I hoped you would know what to look for in all the vaults to kill him and that you would actually know what the artifacts are and what they are used for. That secret would die with me, Madam Pomfrey is bound to secrecy so she couldn't have even told you. I would die an orphan, for all intents and purposes."
"You think that I would be consoled over the loss of my son because I had his vaults?"
"Sure, I mean, you wouldn't have known I was your son while I was alive so you would still have just been losing Harry Potter."
"And my son!"
"But you didn't know that!"
"At any point over the last 5 years that you have known me, have I not been your father because I didn't know? Was I not your father in the years before that when you didn't know me?"
"Of course not, but-"
"Exactly. You still thought of me as your father when I didn't know and then when I treated you badly. You never stopped calling yourself my son so you wouldn't just drop that title because you were dying." Harry nodded slowly in acceptance of this answer. "Just to let you know," he stated, waiting until the teen looked up at him before continuing, "I would have read the letter." These words made Harry smile gently at the man, holding his gaze for a few seconds before looking back to the stone floors as the smile dropped. "That's it, that's my mission."
"What?" Harry asked as his brows furrowed in confusion.
"Make you smile because you're happy, not just as a gesture to appease people. Not just an expression that you drop as soon as you look away."
"I'm not sure I know what happy is so you might as well give up now."
"That, my child, just makes my task all the more important. I will teach you what it means to be happy and hopefully I will be able to make you happy."