Disclaimer: This work of fiction is based on characters appearing in copyrighted television. It is written purely for entertainment. No profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

Return of Jessica

By Jeune Ecrivain

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When financial trouble necessitates the re-hiring of Jessica as the Wilkersons' babysitter, Malcolm inadvertently ends up bonding with her.

"I'm not going to military school!"

Malcolm Wilkerson put the finishing touches on his advanced algebra homework before turning to face his dim-witted older brother, Reese. "Who said anything about military school?"

"Well, no one," Reese admitted. "But I haven't seen Mom so mad since Francis did whatever it was he did and got himself shipped off to the Academy."

"Well, you did turn a trip to Disney World into an experience that let's just say Mom won't forget for a long time," Malcolm stated matter-of-factly.

"You see! I gave this family adventure!" Reese exclaimed, completely misinterpreting Malcolm's statement. "I made it memorable, and that's what trips to Disney World are s'posed to be, right?"

"I didn't mean that in a good way," Malcolm protested.

Reese scowled. "Well, I didn't blow anything up this time. I don't see why Mom got so mad."

Malcolm couldn't believe his brother's ignorance. "Reese, you used Dewey to distract security so you could sneak behind the scenes of Pirates of the Caribbean and dig around for Walt Disney's corpse! In the process, you managed to completely demolish one of the pirate scenes on the ride and short-circuit an animatronic buccaneer!

"It was that guy's fault! He told me Disney had his body frozen for some cryonic thing and it was buried inside that ride!"

"Don't you know an urban legend when you hear one?" said Malcolm.

Reese opened his mouth to respond, but a call from downstairs interrupted their conversation. The two boys ambled down the stairs and into the kitchen, where they were greeted by their father Hal and a girl somewhere between Malcom and Reese's age with frizzy blonde hair and glasses.

"Jessica," Malcolm recognized her. "What's she doing here?"

"Well, thanks to Reese's deplorable antics in the good ol' land of Mickey Mouse," Lois said dryly, glaring at her second-oldest son. "We have to pay for all the damages to Pirates of the Caribbean or be sued!"

"So, I had to get my old job back at the department store to help pay the bills," Hal added. "And your mother, no thanks to you, is going to have to spend the few months working the double shift!"

"Okay!" exclaimed Reese, exasperated. "I get it! I screwed up! I got the family in a six-foot financial hole! Message understood! But what does she have to do with it?" He said 'she' with great distaste in his tone.

Malcolm gave his brother a look that said, Don't tell me you haven't figured that out by now!

Reese looked confused at his brother's glare.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Malcolm counted down in his head.

A look of horrific realization struck Reese's face. "No!" he said desperately, turning back to face his parents. "No way! She is not babysitting here again! She can't make me do anything!" His gaze fell on Jessica, and he emphasized his point. "You can't make me do anything!"

"You see!" Malcolm rounded on his brother. "You see what you've done!" He then turned back to Jessica, who was looking at them with an analytical expression. "And by the way, don't even try haulin' out those crocodile tears again! Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, shame on me!"

"Actually, Malcolm, I did fool you twice," stated Jessica coolly. "That whole brain-channel, multi-tasking thing. It wasn't really that hard of a concept."

"Why you…" Malcom began.

"Alright, boys, that's enough," said Lois. "Jessica is your babysitter, and that's that."

Hal looked at his watch. "I'm late for work!" he yelped before taking off out the back door.

"Yeah, and if I don't leave now, I'm going to be late too," Lois agreed.

"But…" Reese protested.

"You brought this on yourself, Reese," Lois reminded him. "Jessica's in charge. Got it? I don't want to come home and hear about some audacious act of insubordination."
"Oh, yeah, well…" started Reese. He then turned to Malcolm. "What does 'audacious' mean?"

Malcome sighed. "It means recklessly bold."

"It's okay, Mrs. Wilkerson," said Jessica. "I know how to keep them in line."

Lois looked at Jessica in awe. "You think maybe you could give me a few hints?"

"No!" Malcolm blurted.

"You can't keep anyone in line!" insisted Reese.

Lois rolled her eyes. "Just behave," she commanded before taking her car keys and exiting the house.