A Neon Genesis Evangelion fanfic
Written by Vicil 2000
The Worst Lemon
Rei was sitting quietly on her bed reading her book. Suddenly she got this look in her eyes, a look of suspense as her head looked up from the book and toward the wall. No one could tell what she was thinking, as this script is written in the third person. Her legs tremble.
Suddenly, she jumps out of bed and bolts right out the door. In full sprint she charges down three flights of stairs out on to the sidewalk and down the street toward the monorail, entering in the nick of time. She looks around hastily and finds a seat. The monorail starts up and begins its long circuit across town.
Rei looks somewhat nervous. She fiddles with her fingers, clasping her hands together, and jittering like crazy. It's not long before she notices there are many people staring at her. Rei looks down and realizes there are vast amounts of smelly liquid running down the seat from under her skirt. Rei buries her hands in her crotch with the brightest red blush and grits her teeth in a smile of embarrassment. In a lightning quick action she reaches for the emergency brake and yanks it down, bringing the bullet train to a complete stop and off the train she goes, screaming into the noonday sun and she runs away holding her crotch.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…"
Follow Rei through the city streets, screaming and holding her crotch all the way.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…"
Rei arrives at her destination, Misato's apartment. She squirms as she waits for the elevator, tapping the 'up' button repeatedly. She rolls her eyes and makes for the fire escape just as the doors open. In 3.5 seconds she stops in front of Misato's door, taking one hand away from her crotch to ring the bell. Of course removing that one hand causes about 5 pints of smelly liquid to rain from under her dress.
"Mmmmmm…!"
She can't take it. Rei takes a few steps back, runs forward and kicks down the door, runs down the hall and stops dead when she sees what's going on in the living room.
"Yeah, you like that, don'tcha bitch?" Shinji growls as he spanks a moaning Asuka from behind with a giant ore.
In the parking lot, Rei looks around in haste wondering where to go next, then decides to make her way north, back into town, holding her crotch and screaming the whole way.
Somewhat later she kicks down the door to a house in the upper class district and finds Touji and Hikari playing 'doctor.'
"Turn your head and cough." Hikari commanded.
"Dammit!" Rei cursed, and off she went.
Rei breaks into Kaji's apartment and finds Misato sitting with him 'together'.
"No!"
Rei breaks into NERV's Eva cage and finds Kensuke hanging between the butt cheeks of Eva Unit-02.
"Rgh!"
Rei breaks into central dogma and finds Aoba and Hyuuga dressed in tight leather. Aoba has clipped clothespins to Hyuuga's nipples.
"Curses!"
Rei breaks into Gendo's office and finds Fyutsuki, Yui and Gendo in a rather provocative position.
"Gross!"
Running at full speed across land and sea, Rei holds her crotch and screams in panic, making her way to North America. She kicks down the door races into the basement and finds the author at work on the second chapter of The Epilogue of Evangelion.
"Fine!"
Rei lunges forward, tackles the author and they both fall the floor. Quickly Rei takes the keyboard and types two words.
THE END