"I'm a little ladybug.
I have my polka dots.
I love to eat pizza
and ride on my bicycle."
My name is Tilly. I want to be an ordinary girl, with an ordinary life. Ordinary friends. Ordinary family.
I don't have an ordinary life. Why? Because I hate everything. Everything makes me angry. Everything makes me irritated. I hate it.
But before you judge me, let me tell you why.
"I'm a little ladybug.
I have my polka dots.
I love to eat pizza
and ride on my bicycle."
The Ladybug song is what started it. I was used to people fawning over me, and saying that they loved me. I was happy.
Then the talent show came up, and I wrote the Ladybug Song. It was short, it had an easy tune. The lyrics were whimsical; something that was normal for a five-year old. I liked it; who wouldn't like the image of a little ladybug eating pizza and riding on a bicycle?
"I'm a little ladybug.
I have my polka dots.
I love to eat pizza
and ride on my bicycle."
Everyone, that's who. Everyone hated it. I didn't notice at first. I didn't notice the shakes of heads. I didn't notice the frowns. I didn't notice that nobody clapped.
Ally was the one they loved. She wrote the Butterfly song. It was pretty, I admit it. It had a nice tune, and the lyrics were shining. Everyone loved it; they clapped and cheered when she sang it for them.
"I'm a little ladybug.
I have my polka dots.
I love to eat pizza
and ride on my bicycle."
I finally realized that they loved her more than me. I knew that they liked the Butterfly song more than the Ladybug song. I tried to sabotage Ally's performance.
"You can't sing the song if you don't have the lyrics!"
"There's no eating in the classroom."
After that, everything changed. Whenever I brought something to show and tell, or sang a song I made up earlier that day, I could see it. I could see their faces; they hated it. They hated everything I did. They hated me.
Nobody knew that I could notice their reactions. Why? They thought I was stupid. They didn't think I was attentive enough to see their faces. But I did.
Finally, I made Miami H8er Girl. Everyone loved it! I felt loved and special. But I knew that if they found out who I really was, they would hate me again. I was lost in a world of darkness.
"I'm a little ladybug.
I have my polka dots.
I love to eat pizza
and ride on my bicycle."
And then, a light shone through. Austin Moon, the boy with the golden hair and the angelic voice. Oh, he was amazing!
Until I learned that his partner was Ally. I hated them. I hated them both.
My one chance at being loved came; they would love me. They would love my ladybug song. They would hate Ally's butterfly song.
And the one light in my world was extinguished. Austin, the one who I hoped could help me out of this pit I was in let go. He chose the Butterfly song.
"I'm a little ladybug.
I have my polka dots.
I love to eat pizza
and ride on my bicycle."
My name is Tilly. I hate everything. Why?
Because everything hates me.
