Disclaimer: All recognizable The Good Wife characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners including, but not limited to CBS. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fan fiction story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No financial gain is associated with the publishing of this story. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: This takes place sometime after Alicia learns about Kalinda's history with Peter. It is rated M for, well, sex. Enjoy! -dkc
Kalinda's Moral Code
Kalinda Sharma exudes sex. There was little question that Kalinda would use sex to get what she wanted. The act itself was merely physical—a means to an end. It was rarely anything more than a transaction. It lacked true intimacy and the promise of something more.
Though Kalinda knew how she used sex for her own needs, the people around her didn't always understand why. The investigator had risen from the ashes; the transformation from Leela to Kalinda complete. That transformation would not have been possible without Kalinda offering sex in exchange. From the moment Alicia Florrick walked into Lockhart/Gardner, Kalinda knew there was always a possibility that an investigator of comparable talent might be able to uncover the very past that could hurt Alicia. The past that she hoped to keep hidden was her dalliance with the former state's attorney, Peter Florrick. What she never imagined was that she would become best friends with Alicia. Here was this woman with whom she had nothing in common and yet she found her to be the only genuine person she had ever known.
Everything changed when Kalinda met Alicia. This was no longer the housewife whose feelings were merely a silhouette and not something real, tangible. This was a woman with whom she worked formidably. This was a woman that Kalinda had watched survive the fallout of Peter's failures with poise and grace. This was a mother, a lawyer, a friend; a respected mother, lawyer, friend. She wanted to be a different person, a better person because of Alicia. She wished her past wasn't her past and didn't hold the power to hurt Alicia. But Kalinda couldn't control what Alicia knew. She should have told her. Kalinda never imagined that the most damaging thing she would need to protect Alicia from was Kalinda herself.
The hurt she had caused Alicia was standing right in front of her, written all over the lawyer's face. She had no idea what to say. She had already apologized, an apology that was thrown back at her. What more could she say?
"You slept with her," Alicia charged.
The charge was harsh, though not untrue. When Kalinda called Sophia to help with the case, she hoped their past would not be an issue. Kalinda felt this way about nearly everyone with whom she had exchanged favors.
"I told you, we are friends," Kalinda's tone remained calm.
"You don't have friends," the truth was spoken and yes, it stung.
Kalinda looked at Alicia, but revealed nothing. They were standing in the parking garage where they'd run into each other—Kalinda returning, Alicia leaving.
"Cut the crap!" Alicia was having none of it. "You may have been friends once. You may be friends now. But you slept with her and not in the past, or perhaps not only in the past, but today."
Kalinda was stunned that Alicia knew this. She raised an eyebrow as she quickly ran through the possible ways that Alicia could know this. Kalinda had been discreet. Kalinda was always discreet. They were nothing but professional at the office.
"Her perfume," Alicia explained without prodding. "When you called her to my office for the glove. I smell it on you now."
There was anger in Alicia's voice. She seemed to be getting angrier by the moment. The longer Kalinda went without saying anything, the more irate Alicia became.
"She's married, Kalinda!" she was now furious. "Is there anyone you won't sleep with?"
Kalinda had been passive, allowing Alicia to do all of the questioning and honestly hoping the brunette would do her worst. But Alicia's knowledge of Sophia's marital status both struck a nerve and piqued Kalinda's curiosity.
"You looked into her?" she asked.
"I had to protect the firm," Alicia pretended this was the only reason. "We certainly couldn't expect you to be objective."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Kalinda was rapidly reaching Alicia's level of anger.
"Peter."
The patented Kalinda stare graced the argument.
"How many times do I have to apologize? I didn't know you then," Kalinda's eyes were dark with emotion.
"It was okay to sleep with a married man because you didn't know his wife? That makes it better," Alicia bit.
"I didn't know you. If I had known you…" Kalinda's voice was close to breaking.
"You wouldn't have fucked my husband?" Alicia's words stung.
Kalinda turned away from Alicia, silently processing Alicia's anger. She put a hand against her SUV and tried to steady herself emotionally. She felt the tears stinging her eyes, batting her lashes furiously to hold them at bay.
"You know, I was beginning to think you might be in love with me," Alicia's voice from behind her was now soft, almost sad.
Silence, deafening silence.
"I didn't know you then," Kalinda repeated without turning to look at Alicia.
More silence.
"I am," came the quiet admission from the woman who had up until recently never showed any emotion whatsoever and had rarely been honest.
There came no reply. All Kalinda heard was the soft clicking of heels across concrete, the opening of a car door, the car starting and driving away.
…
Kalinda had walked past Alicia's office several times in less than an hour. For all of her bravado, the investigator couldn't gather the courage necessary to walk in. She was reduced to this small, timid woman in Alicia's presence now.
"Kalinda! Get in here," Alicia demanded on the latest of Kalinda's pass-bys.
Stopping in her tracks, Kalinda turned toward Alicia's door and took a deep breath. It was now or never.
"You can keep wasting your time walking by my door or you can say whatever it is you need to say and get back to work," Alicia's tone was neither angry nor amused.
"When did you and Peter separate?" Kalinda asked.
"That's none of your business," Alicia snapped.
"Alicia."
Kalinda closed the door, but continued to stand. The thin ice she was skating did not come with an open invitation to sit next to Alicia's desk.
"Why does it matter?" Alicia glared.
"When did you separate?" Kalinda persisted.
"You really want to know?" Alicia was now fuming. "Election night. The night I found out you fucked my husband."
It didn't matter how many times Kalinda heard Alicia swear, the acidic tone and anger in her words were startling. The timeline of events was equally startling. She chewed on her bottom lip as she considered the wisdom in voicing her next question.
"What?" Alicia's voice softened a bit.
"I'm…" Kalinda was quickly cut off.
"If you apologize one more time, Kalinda, I swear to God," Alicia tilted her head back and looked at the ceiling.
"I wasn't going to apologize. I am sorry, but that isn't what I was going to say."
"What then?" Alicia wouldn't make eye contact.
"Had it been any other woman," Kalinda's voice was small and very uncertain. "If you had learned about him sleeping with another woman and it would have been anyone else, would you be separated?"
"There had been other women," Alicia sighed.
"I mean since the scandal broke," Kalinda clarified.
Kalinda was bracing herself for Alicia's venom. She noticed Alicia's perfect hands clinching the arms of her chair. She noticed Alicia take a deep breath. She noticed everything about Alicia.
"I don't know," was the only response Alicia had. "I just can't know."
Assuming this was as far as this conversation would go, Kalinda reached for the door and was stopped by Alicia's words.
"Do you make it a habit of sleeping with married men or… women?" Alicia asked.
This was not a question Kalinda was prepared for. When she had braced herself for Alicia's wrath, she never imagined that the lawyer would want to know something about her. She couldn't lie. She couldn't continue to lie to this woman. They were past the 'are you or aren't you?' question about Kalinda's sexuality. But that didn't mean they were past the pain of what Kalinda had done to Alicia. Not by a long shot.
"I…" Kalinda paused. "Not really."
Alicia finally made eye contact with Kalinda and gave her best not convinced expression. Alicia knew as well as anyone how Kalinda used sex to her own benefit. Why would something as arbitrary as a marriage license stop someone as determined?
"Peter. Sophia. 'Not really'?" Alicia's tone was not accusatory.
"It's hard to explain," Kalinda said.
"Try," Alicia nodded to the chair beside her desk.
Taking a seat for the first time, Kalinda's hands were in her lap and immediately fidgeting.
"I hurt you," Kalinda's admission confused Alicia and earned her a raised eyebrow. "I had never cared who got hurt. Before, you know?"
It seemed that Alicia and Kalinda's friendship would now forever be separated into two periods—before and after. Before Alicia knew that her best friend had slept with her husband and after.
"Kalinda, I'd love to believe that, but you slept with a married woman very recently," Alicia sighed.
"But I didn't know. I swear I didn't know she was married. After…" she refused to say Peter's name. "…you, I can never think of it as meaningless, harm-free sex again. Not with someone attached."
The investigator placed her palms flat on her skirt and stared straight ahead. She never thought her life, her philosophy of life, would reach this point. She never thought she would care so much about the people she left in her wake. Not until she met Alicia Florrick. Not until she turned Alicia Florrick's life upside down.
"Something tells me there has never been completely harm-free sex with Kalinda Sharma," Alicia muttered.
In her awkward manner, Kalinda stood, signaling the end of this conversation that she now could hardly believe she had initiated. She walked out of Alicia's office without another word and made it to the elevator where she released a breath she'd been holding since Alicia's final words to her.
…
In the weeks that followed Kalinda's confession in the parking garage, it would not be spoken of. The remnants of their friendship were raw after the past, Kalinda's past, barged into the present. Adding an admission of being in love with Alicia was simply too much to process. While they didn't dare speak of it, they both thought of it constantly. At times their eyes would lock over a conference table or across the benches of a courtroom and they would both wonder if the other wasn't thinking in that moment about the admission in that dark parking garage. Alicia might bite her lip or Kalinda arch a perfectly sculpted eyebrow, but the moment would pass, their gaze dropped.
That Alicia and Peter had separated was widely known in the halls of Lockhart/Gardner. While nobody said anything, Kalinda noticed the looks as Alicia walked to her office or stood chatting with Will after court. What worried Kalinda was when Will started paying more attention to Alicia. Where she once would have advocated Alicia sleeping with Will, she could no longer stomach the thought. Her own jealousy was a foreign passenger she had yet to come to terms with.
When Kalinda arrived at the bar one night after work, she was stopped in her tracks by the sight of Alicia and Will drinking together. That stool beside Alicia had for so long been occupied by Kalinda that the investigator came to think of it as her place and her place alone. She debated approaching the lawyers, but thought better of it. As she turned to leave, she heard a familiar voice saying her name.
"Kalinda!" the beautiful lawyer waved her over.
"Alicia, Will," Kalinda said, leaning against the bar.
"Have a drink, it's on me," Will motioned for the bartender.
"I have to get home," Kalinda lied.
"Will is leaving. Have a drink with me," Alicia's eyes locked on Kalinda's and for a moment Kalinda felt a spark.
"I've got court in the morning," Will stood and placed bills down on the bar before putting on his jacket.
"Thanks for the drinks," Alicia smiled at the lawyer who was obviously smitten with her.
Kalinda watched Alicia watch Will walk out of the bar. Once the man had exited, Alicia turned to find Kalinda's eyes on hers.
"Sit down," Alicia said.
"I didn't mean to interrupt," Kalinda sat and threw back a shot of tequila.
"You weren't interrupting," there was a tone in the brunette's voice that the investigator couldn't read.
Kalinda said nothing. She signaled for another shot and quickly threw it back. Her face was as unreadable as the lawyer's. The silence was finally broken by the most unlikely question.
"Do you want to come over?" Alicia blurted out without making eye contact.
Looking skeptically at the lawyer, Kalinda wondered what brought this on. She listed in her head all of the reasons for which she shouldn't go to Alicia's apartment. She then thought of all the things that could happen if she did go.
"That isn't a good idea," Kalinda reasoned.
"Are you now the judge of these things?" Alicia's voice was teasing, both flirtatious and sarcastic.
Kalinda continued to avoid eye contact. She knew that she could be convinced of whatever Alicia asked without much of a fight. If she didn't make eye contact, that would help her refuse the invitation. However, she hadn't figured in what happened next. When Alicia's hand rested on Kalinda's thigh, the investigator's breath caught in her throat as a tingle ran the length of her spine.
"Come over."
Alicia was no longer asking.
…
"Red or white?" Alicia asked from the kitchen.
"Whichever," Kalinda responded.
The investigator sat on the couch in Alicia's living room wondering what in the hell she was doing there. When Alicia had asked, Kalinda's instinct was to turn her down. All bets were off once Alicia's hand touched her thigh. She had no clear expectations for the rendezvous at the apartment. She did however need more alcohol to calm her pounding heart. She couldn't remember the last time she had been this nervous about anything.
"Here," Alicia returned, offering Kalinda a glass of red wine.
"Thank you," Kalinda nodded.
"Zach and Grace are with Jackie," Alicia explained without questioning.
Kalinda remained quiet, sipping the wine and attempting to size up the situation. She was failing to comprehend why Alicia had asked her to come over.
"Jackie isn't taking the separation well," the lawyer rolled her eyes and leaned back against the couch. "Her son can sleep with prostitutes, but by God, he should not separate from his wife."
There was a continued silence from Kalinda. She had no idea how to respond to Alicia's admissions. In fact, she didn't have any idea why Alicia was telling her these things. The last she knew, their friendship had imploded. Why was Alicia now confiding in her?
"Did you sleep with the FBI agent?" Alicia blurted out.
"Um?" Kalinda nearly choked on her wine, an eyebrow raised at the sudden intrusive question.
"She came on to you, right? Wanted you to work under her?" Alicia's eyes bore into Kalinda.
"I…" Kalinda stumbled.
"You did. What's hard about admitting it?" Alicia asked.
"Alicia, I don't know why it matters with whom I… sleep," Kalinda crossed her legs, revealing more of her stocking-clad thighs.
"Have you slept with Will?" the lawyer's eyes followed Kalinda's legs.
"What? No," Kalinda noticed Alicia's eye line. "Have you?"
This brought Alicia's green eyes back up to the dark, curious eyes of the woman on her couch.
"I think he wishes that were the case," Alicia smirked.
Kalinda couldn't bring herself to see humor in Alicia's statement. Taking a gulp of wine instead, the investigator wondered where this was leading. Why was Alicia so intent on knowing about Kalinda's sexual escapades?
"Why do you care?" Kalinda couldn't help her inquisitiveness.
"About Will?" she turned her body fully toward Kalinda.
"Not only Will," Kalinda said. "Sophia, Lana…"
"Lana?" Alicia raised an eyebrow.
"The FBI agent," Kalinda clarified.
"I don't care," she shrugged off the implication that she did.
"Alicia," Kalinda had the ability to require she be more forthcoming.
Laying her head back against the couch, Alicia swished the wine around in the glass and stared at a bothersome piece of lint on her skirt. She couldn't bring herself to look at the brown-eyed woman. She couldn't bring herself to actually see Kalinda's response at her next statement.
"Why not me?" Alicia all but whispered.
"Excuse me?" Kalinda was confused, but her heart beat rapidly at the possible implication.
"These people, they come in and out of your life, you work with them, you befriend them in your unique way. And inevitably you sleep with them. We work together; we work well together. We are…" Alicia corrected herself. "We were friends. But you've never…we've never… Why not?"
Kalinda was stunned. Was Alicia asking why Kalinda had never come on to her? Was she asking if Kalinda had ever considered it? Or was the question more obvious—why had they never slept together?
"It isn't like that," Kalinda found herself mumbling.
This brought Alicia's head up to look at her. There was a pain in Alicia's green eyes that Kalinda couldn't chalk up to her hurt over Kalinda's betrayal of their friendship.
"Because you were in love with me?" Alicia's voice was heavy and laden with emotion.
There it was, the one thing Kalinda had surprised herself in admitting to Alicia. They hadn't spoken of it since that day in the parking garage. Neither had acknowledged it had been said, much less what it meant.
"I don't know what you want me to say," she replied honestly.
"God, I want us to…" Alicia was clearly frustrated.
"What? What do you want?" Kalinda cut her off, leaning closer.
To the amazement of Kalinda, Alicia reached out a hand and placed it on the very stocking-clad thigh she had been gazing at earlier. It was the same action the lawyer had taken in the bar when she asked Kalinda to come home with her. Kalinda was very good at reading these signals. With anyone else, Kalinda would have pounced. However, this was Alicia. This was the woman whose heart she had broken. This was the woman whose life had been turned upside down by a dishonest, unfaithful man that Kalinda happened to have slept with. This was her friend.
"I didn't think you'd want me to," Kalinda's voice was smooth. "Make a move, you know?"
It was a rare occurrence for Kalinda to be anything less than confident. She was at a loss here.
"And if I had wanted you to?" Alicia's voice was low.
"You were…are…my friend. Whether you believe it or not, I would never do anything to put that in peril."
The older woman said nothing for a minute, as if collecting her thoughts and weighing her words carefully. She looked down at her hand as she made a small movement with her thumb. She heard Kalinda's breath catch—the answer to her inner struggle over whether she could turn Kalinda on. Apparently all it took was a gentle stroke.
"I didn't sleep with you because that isn't what friends do," Kalinda broke the quiet tension. "I didn't sleep with you because it would have ruined what we had."
Alicia's hand stilled. It had never occurred to her that a woman with Kalinda's proclivity for sex would have any parameters. She had never considered that Kalinda might want her, but chose their friendship over any short-lived spark between them.
"It isn't because I didn't want to," Kalinda found herself whispering.
This brought Alicia's eyes up to Kalinda's and her body moving toward the younger woman. Before Kalinda had the chance to stop her, Alicia's mouth was on hers. The kiss was balanced in fervor and tenderness. The lawyer's hand began moving higher on Kalinda's thigh, slipping under the hem of the tight leather skirt. Just as her hand grazed the bare skin between the stockings and panties, Kalinda put a hand down to stop her.
"Alicia."
The lawyer rested her forehead against the other woman's and caught her breath. Her hand stilled, though held in place by the smaller, darker-toned hand on top.
"When you look at me, you see me. Not the wife of the state's attorney. Not the woman who stood next to him in scandal. Not the mother who went back to work after raising two kids. You see me. And when you look at me, I feel something. Maybe that's why it hurt so much when I learned about you and Peter. Maybe that's why it still hurts."
Slowly Kalinda's hand reached up to Alicia's cheek. It was simple yet sensual. Alicia opened her eyes, pulling back enough to see Kalinda's face. She had never seen a more honest, raw and, frankly, terrified look on the investigator's face.
"You aren't some curiosity for me, Kalinda," Alicia said.
By answering an unspoken fear, Alicia cleared the way for Kalinda to take the leap. Her lips met Alicia's in a soft caress, gradually elevated to the passion of their first kiss. Releasing Alicia's hand, Kalinda swallowed a moan in the back of her throat as the lawyer's thumb stroked the juncture of her thigh, hip and mound. The sudden rush through Kalinda's body spurred her on. She traced Alicia's bottom lip before pressing her tongue inside. She found herself swallowing the lawyer's moan.
Just as Kalinda's right hand tangled in Alicia's hair and her left hand perched on her hip, Alicia's phone rang. The sudden intrusion was met with a groan from Alicia and an audible exhale from Kalinda.
"It can wait," Alicia said.
"It might be your kids," Kalinda couldn't care less about work.
"Ugh," Alicia groaned.
Before standing, Alicia pressed her lips to Kalinda's briefly and offered an apologetic smile. She removed her hand from under Kalinda's skirt, stood and made her way to the home phone.
As Alicia dialed back the number and began a conversation with what sounded like one of her children, Kalinda couldn't harness the energy coursing through her body. She stood and walked to the bookshelf where she attempted to focus on the titles on the spines. That's where she stood when Alicia returned.
"I'm sorry," she said as she got very close to Kalinda, touching her hand.
Kalinda found herself closing her eyes and breathing deeply with the proximity of the tall brunette. Alicia stood behind her and pressed her body into the investigator, taking in her scent as her nose nuzzled against a very exposed neck.
"Alicia," Kalinda hummed.
"Come to my bed," Alicia whispered.
Unable to offer a coherent response, engulfed in the emotion of Alicia's question, Kalinda entwined their fingers and nodded her head.
Kalinda Sharma believed that sex could get her what she wanted. In every instance she had ever encountered but this one. As she stood with Alicia pressed into her back, their fingers laced, she was terrified of what this meant. She was aroused, yes. She was desperate for Alicia's touch, yes. But she knew that if she walked the several feet to Alicia's bedroom, everything would change. For the first time in a very long time, sex actually meant something.
…
There had been far too many partners for Kalinda to keep count. Some were good, some were average and quite a few were terrible. The average always thought they were great, the great always thought they could do better. There were those who wanted something. There were those from whom Kalinda wanted something. And more and more frequently, there were those from whom Kalinda knew she would need something later on. Cashing in favors could only happen if those favors had been gained in the first place.
Kalinda didn't have the time to consider all of her past exploits as she stood in Alicia's living room. She hardly had the time to consider if this was an awful idea before she found herself following Alicia across the threshold into her bedroom. Momentarily Kalinda wondered if this had always been Alicia's bed alone. The thought of Alicia with anyone else at that moment made Kalinda angry. Was anyone good enough for Alicia? Kalinda didn't even think herself to be good enough for Alicia. Quite the opposite, actually.
She had barely entered the bedroom when she found Alicia turning around and pressing her lips once again against her own. This kiss was intense, ferocious even. Alicia took Kalinda's other hand and entwined their fingers to match. The kiss quickly became that of dueling tongues and the occasional awkward collision of teeth. Kalinda was caught off guard when Alicia pushed her back against the wall and raised their hands up next to Kalinda's head. The moan that escaped Kalinda as Alicia pressed their bodies flush against one another caused Alicia to respond in kind.
It was Alicia in the driver's seat. Her mouth roving along Kalinda's caramel neck, her fingers dragging the zipper of the leather jacket open, her hips tilting forward to again press their bodies together. It was deliciously unexpected for Kalinda to be surrendering control. The investigator shrugged out of her leather jacket, revealing a simple shell beneath that framed her chest beautifully. She moaned as the lawyer's mouth traced her collarbone and then traveled lower to the subtle dip of cleavage. Staccato kisses became long, slow caresses with Alicia's clearly talented tongue. Kalinda's fingers held tight to Alica's scalp as gentle sucking commenced on the tops of her breasts.
"Alicia," her voice was foreign in her ears.
Looking up into dark, dilated eyes, the brunette was aroused and spurred on. She stood and removed her own blouse in a hurried, but graceful manner. Her camisole quickly followed, leaving her in only a satin bra. She reached for Kalinda's hips, turning the woman around so she could access the zipper of her skirt. The teeth of the zipper seemed to click, click, click with the painfully slow flick of Alicia's wrist. It was all that could be heard in the moment. The skirt pooled around Kalinda's stiletto boots, leaving the mysterious beauty in the somewhat sheer shell that had been under her jacket, a lacy thong and those goddamn boots that drove Alicia wild. Once again using the investigator's hips to guide her, she spun Kalinda around and took in the sight.
"Alicia," she tried again. That one word both asking if they should be doing this and begging to speed it up.
Keeping their eyes locked, Alicia quickly removed her own skirt. In nothing but a matching satin bra and panties, Alicia was glorious. Kalinda watched as the flush continued to spread across her milky white chest. She watched the tops of breasts rise and fall with each breath. And then she silently asked Alicia in the language only their eyes had mastered what it was the lawyer wanted.
Turning Kalinda, Alicia effectively traded places with the shorter woman, leaning her back against the cool wall. Continuing the silent conversation between them, Alicia placed a hand on Kalinda's shoulder and pressed down. Her intent could not be misunderstood. The investigator smiled at the request, obeying without hesitation. Kneeling before this woman she found utterly sexy, she licked her lips in anticipation.
On her knees, Kalinda looked up at Alicia and saw a naughty smirk. Her slim fingers reached for Alicia's panties and slid them slowly down her legs. Alicia stepped out of them before Kalinda tossed them aside. Running each of her hands slowly up the lawyer's legs, Kalinda could feel the goose bumps develop on white thighs. Gripping Alicia's hips, the investigator pressed a gentle kiss against a neatly trimmed mound. This simple action made Alicia moan Kalinda's name. Dipping lower, another kiss was placed just above the hood of the woman's clit. This made Alica's hips buck into Kalinda's face, a movement that made Kalinda chuckle. Then a pointed tongue snuck out and barely touched her clit.
"Oh, god," came the deep groan. "Oh!"
Kalinda continued with the very tip of her tongue, circling the swelling clit. Moans were music in her ears. She pressed her hands more firmly into hips to hold Alicia in place as her tongue took a first swipe through wet folds.
"K…" Alicia hummed.
Then came the deep, wide lick from the bottom of her slit back to the top. Alicia marveled at how Kalinda used her tongue with such precision. Another swipe of her slit, this time interrupted by a plunge inside. This made Alicia's head tip back hard against the wall, her hands now gripping Kalinda's head for dear life. That pointed tongue was plunging in and out, not deep, but enough for Alicia to feel as if she were being led to a precipice. Her arousal grew, the throbbing increased and she could feel herself drip onto Kalinda's tongue. Without much warning she felt one of Kalinda's fingers press against her clit as her tongue continued on pace. It took only a moment for Alicia to come completely undone.
"God! God! God!" Alicia panted as Kalinda's tongue rode the waves.
Lapping up the juices on both her own lips as well as Alicia, Kalinda felt Alicia's body droop against the wall. Standing, Kalinda took the satisfied woman's hand and led her to the bed. She pressed her into a sitting position by a slight touch to her shoulders. Walking to the adjoining bathroom, Kalinda ran some water and used it to wipe her face.
"Are you okay?" Kalinda whispered as she sat beside the brunette.
Alicia turned her body toward the nearly naked investigator and wrapped her arms around her bare shoulders. Nuzzling her nose below Kalinda's ear, Alicia couldn't find words. They sat like that for several moments, Kalinda's hands gripping the soft arms around her.
"Oh," Kalinda moaned as Alicia's lips began kissing their way across her caramel skin.
Alicia's tongue darted out and followed a path of her own making. From the hollow of Kalinda's neck around to the space behind the woman's ear that made her breath hitch. The brunette smiled when she felt Kalinda's nails digging into the flesh of her arm. She took an earlobe into her mouth and rolled it with her tongue. It was so simple and yet so arousing. As Alicia's mouth released the lobe, the arm that Kalinda was clinging to dropped slightly until a hand palmed one of Kalinda's breasts.
"Alicia…" Kalinda's tone begged for what, neither woman knew precisely, but the lawyer responded with a firm squeeze.
Unable to contain her need a moment longer, Kalinda turned and pressed a ferocious kiss to Alicia's lips, standing slightly to straddle her lap. The kiss became sloppy with want as Kalinda's hips rocked into Alicia's lower abdomen. Alicia's hands found the investigator's hips and rocked with them.
"I…" Kalinda panted. "Need…"
Alicia, for all her inexperience, knew exactly what to do. Her hand came across the front of Kalinda's hip to a place where she could tug the strip of fabric aside. Careful to keep her long fingernails from being a detriment, Alicia pressed her thumb to the engorged clit she found coated in silkiness. A finger ran eagerly through Kalinda's folds, teasing as only Alicia could. Just as her perfectly manicured nail grazed the hooded tip, she felt the investigator shudder. Slipping a finger past the entrance, she felt walls quickly closing around it and knew what was fast approaching. Mimicking the very pressure Kalinda had used on her own clit, Alicia forced a sudden and unmistakable climax.
"Ohhh," Kalinda moaned in a register Alicia had never heard before.
Falling forward, her weight entirely against Alicia, Kalinda grunted as they both fell back against the bed. Kalinda lifted her head slightly to look at the woman beneath her who had started out chuckling and was now immersed in laughter.
"It wasn't that funny," the woman on top noted.
"No," Alicia laughed some more. "I was realizing how absurd this is."
To this Kalinda's entire body stiffened, something not lost on Alicia who wrapped around her.
"Not this," the older woman clarified. "I mean, god, we've both climaxed and I still haven't even seen your breasts."
This got a chuckle out of Kalinda whose head fell to the other woman's chest. After Alicia's laughter quieted, rising to a sitting position on Alicia's thighs, Kalinda removed the shell she was wearing, leaving her in only her bra. Her eyes never left Alicia's as she unclasped it and slipped the straps down her arms. Alicia's eyes glanced down, quickly refocused, her mouth agape. She eventually brought both hands up to hold each breast. Her face showed the contemplative Alicia that the investigator had come to understand meant her friend was attempting to make sense of complex problem.
"What?" Kalinda asked, prying Alicia's eyes from her own breasts upward.
"I'm still married," Alicia said. "I thought you don't sleep with married women anymore."
This brought on the raised eyebrow that Kalinda had perfected.
"You're separated," she responded.
"There's a difference," the lawyer's hands finally dropped to Kalinda's hips even though her eyes continued to show their amazement at the glorious breasts before them.
"Is there? For you?" she was starting to feel as if they were back to where they had begun.
"I don't know," Alicia answered honestly. "Is there to you?"
"This is new to me," Kalinda shook her head at the admission.
There was an awkward silence between them, Kalinda still straddling Alicia wearing nothing but panties and boots.
"Would you get back with him?" Kalinda found herself saying outloud rather than wondering about it internally.
"No," Alicia was quick to respond. "I'm not the same woman I was before all of this."
"I agree," Kalinda's eyes met Alicia's again. "You've grown. You're independent; you're…" her voice trailed off.
"I'm what?"
"I don't know what the word for it is. Reborn?" Kalinda blushed at what she had said as if it were something to be ashamed of.
"I wish I saw myself the way you see me," Alicia admitted.
Kalinda's hands cupped Alicia's face as she leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to the lips she realized she would now never be able to ignore. Certainly if she had known these lips before, her resolve at keeping their friendship strictly platonic would have wavered.
Small hands slipped behind the brunette's back to release the only barrier between their bare chests. As the bra was removed, Kalinda's mouth began exploring skin that hinted of Alicia's perfume—from the place behind the lawyer's ear down to her shoulder and back up again. Finally her fingers grazed the sides of Alicia's breasts.
"What does it mean?" Alicia found herself wondering aloud.
Of course Kalinda knew what Alicia was asking, but as her thumbs circled hardened nipples, you couldn't keep from adding a bit of levity to the moment.
"I believe it means you are in a state of arousal," she teased.
The raw, raspy chuckle that came from the lawyer's mouth put a smile on Kalinda's face. Making Alicia laugh was something she would devote herself to every day for as long as Alicia would allow her. The question now was what would Alicia allow going forward.
"What do you want it to mean?" she hummed, her fingers tracing the curves of firm breasts.
"I don't want to me one of your conquests, Kalinda."
This surprised the rarely caught off guard investigator. Her hands stilled on Alicia's ribs as her eyes left the skin she was tracing and met the lawyer's serious look head on.
"Is that what you think you are?" Kalinda furrowed her brow.
"I don't know what I am."
Kalinda swallowed the emotion building in her throat and took a breath before bringing her hands up to Alicia's face once again.
"That day in the parking garage…" she couldn't find the courage to say more than that.
Alicia's eyes closed as she considered what Kalinda was implying. As long as she had known Kalinda she had never heard her speak of love. Not until that moment in the parking garage—that admission the lawyer had walked away from and never spoken of again.
"You will break my heart," Alicia shook her head softly, her eyes tearing up.
"No."
One word. That's all Kalinda said. If there was one thing Kalinda knew without a doubt it was that she would never hurt Alicia again. It had been too painful when Alicia learned about Peter. It had ripped Kalinda apart. She had never cried over someone the way she had Alicia. She had never allowed herself to need someone the way she had Alicia.
"How?" Alicia's question lacked specificity, but Kalinda instinctively knew the answer.
"We'll make it work," Kalinda whispered.
"I'm still married," Alicia repeated.
"You won't always be," Kalinda responded.
Looking into Kalinda's eyes, Alicia was shocked by the amount of emotion she saw there. Leaning forward, Alicia accepted a soft kiss to her forehead.
"I don't want to ruin this new leaf you've turned over," Alicia offered a slight smirk. "Now that you've stopped sleeping with the married and attached."
It was a gentle poke, one that said she appreciated the change Kalinda was attempting to make, but was quite aware that Kalinda had moments ago slept with a woman who was, in fact, married.
"Shut up," Kalinda muttered before her mouth once again found Alicia's.
Where they went from here, neither woman truly knew. But they both knew where their playful kiss would lead.
-finis-