Ouran High School Host Club in: The Beauty Pageant
Scene one:
Tamaki and the twins are sitting around the clubhouse looking bored. A girl walks past them. Tamaki strikes up a conversation.
Tamaki: Girls are so strange, aren't they?
Twins: Eh, Milord?
Tamaki: leaning forward and becoming excited. I mean, they spend all day trying to look
beautiful for men such as ourselves. They waste away their lives in search of a
fairytale ending.
Hikaru: How do you know this, Milord?
Kaoru: Yes, Milord. You seem to have pondered on this question for quite some time.
Twins: It's not like you're and EXPERT.
Tamaki: defensively It just so happens that I am.
Twins: laughing they say sarcastically Then we must also be experts!
Tamaki: getting angry Since you think this is so funny, let's have a challenge!
Twins: Yes! High five A game!
Tamaki: We'll have a girl-off!
Twins: You mean like a catfight?
Tamaki: No! We'll have a beauty pageant!
Twins: Oh… mischeviously What will we win?
Tamaki: very seriously and flirtatiously HARUHI!
Haruhi: looking up from the book she was reading What about me?
Tamaki & Twins: challengingly It's On!
Haruhi: very concerned Why do I get the feeling this is going to end badly?
Scene two:
Haruhi: Hello, everyone! Welcome to the Ouran High School Host Club's first ever
beauty pageant! Today's contestants will be judged on three things: how good
they look in a dress, what kind of special talents they have, and their High School
Host Club knowledge. Let's begin. First up are Hikaru and Kaoru.
Twins: Walk out in the same dresses. They twirl around and look beautiful. They
continue this until Haruhi says "Thank you girls…"
Haruhi: The twins seem to be sporting a lovely black and white version of the school
uniform. Aren't they gorgeous? Count to five in head Thank you girls!
Twins: back off and stand in the background next to Haruhi
Haruhi: Next we have Tamaki.
Tamaki: walks in all down cast. He hates his dress.
Haruhi.: Looks at the dress in disgust and pity. Tamaki seems to be decked up in.. in… in
some kind of … I don't know.
Tamaki: assumes the doom position
Haruhi: At least he tried. Thank you Tamaki. Let's give it up for our contestants! Great
Job ladies!
Scene three:
Haruhi: Now onto round two. In this portion of our contest, the girls will try to wow us
with some kind of talent. First up, the Hitachan broth… look flustered I mean…
sisters!
Twins: come onto stage. Pull out lipsticks and apply them to each other.
Hikaru: Kaoru, you put on my lipstick so well…
Kaoru: holds Hikaru's face You're face is the only face I ever want to put lipstick on…
Twins: stare at each other lovingly
Haruhi: looking annoyed, steps in between them Yes, yes. Thank you ladies. You are
both very talented in the art of makeup.
Tamaki: getting jealous, runs on stage with a lipstick I bet that none of them are as good
at applying it as us! hands Haruhi the lipstick Here! Put some on me!
Haruhi: Draws and "X" on Tamaki's face
Tamaki: realizes he's loosing No! Wait! That wasn't my talent!
Haruhi: annoyed Then what is?
Tamaki: boldly I can seduce even the most unfeeling of girls! he runs over to Haruhi
and bends on one knee. he holds one of her hands. You're the only girl for me…
Haruhi: unmoved and very monotone You're out of control.
Tamaki: assumes the doom position
Twins: laughing hysterically He could not even get Haruhi to blush! Hahahahaha!
Haruhi: holds her head in annoyance, like she has a headache Let's just move on.
Scene four:
Haruhi: It's now the final round! We'll ask our contestants to answer three questions, to
their knowledge. Are you ready?
Tamaki & Twins: nod their heads
Haruhi: All right. Question one: who is the most egotistical human on earth?
Twins: hold up white board. it reads: Milord
Tamaki: holds up a white board that reads "(insert random politician's name)"
Haruhi: The twins are correct! Question two: What human being is composed of 10%
good looks, and 90% hot air?
Twins: hold up white board, which reads "Milord"
Tamaki: holds up a math equation that reads "2+5 times the square root of cheese = 15"
Haruhi: The twins are correct. Tamaki, is that even a reasonable answer?
Tamaki: baffled that he got it wrong
Haruhi: Final question: Who is too pathetic to put into words?
Twins: hold up whiteboard that reads "Milord"
Tamaki: holds up a board that reads "Kyoya"
Haruhi: Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable. It appears that the twins have won.
Tamaki: assumes the doom position
Twins: We're bored. they both take hold of one of Haruhi's arms. She goes with them
Willingly. Let's go play with the P.A. system.
Tamaki: sulking in doom position
Orange guy: walks on eating as orange. he stops and stares at Tamaki for a wile.
Tamaki: looks up at orange guy What're you looking at?
Twins & Haruhi: run on with a large sign that reads "END"