I stepped out to the edge, keeping my eyes on the empty space in front of me. My toes felt ahead blindly, caressing the edge of the rock when they encountered it. I drew in a deep breath and held it… waiting.

"Bella."

I smiled and exhaled.

'Yes?' I didn't answer out loud, for fear that the sound of my voice would shatter the beautiful illusion. He sounded so real, so close. It was only when he was disapproving like this that I could hear the true memory of his voice -- the velvet texture and the musical intonation that made up the most perfect of all voices.

"Don't do this," he pleaded.

'You wanted me to be human,' I reminded him. 'Well, watch me.'

"Please. For me."

'But you won't stay with me any other way.'

"Please." It was just a whisper in the blowing rain that tossed my hair and drenched my clothes -- making me as wet as if this was my second jump of the day.

I rolled on the balls of my feet.

"No, Bella!" I nearly fell off out of shock, and probably would have if it weren't for the burning arms holding me back now. It wasn't Edward's voice anymore; it had been Jacob who yelled out. I was suddenly glad I had kept my replies inside my head.

I turned to him, stunned. "Victoria?" I paled at her name. He shook his head.

"We lost her. She jumped into the water, the bloodsuckers have it all there. I was looking for you, in case she swam back here." He sighed, shaking me delicately. "It's turning into a hurricane out there, Bella! Can't you just wait for me?" He put a hand on my cheek, the warmth surprising me. I hadn't realized how cold I was.

"I have been waiting," I whispered, my voice cracking. I refused to think about his voice… his velvet… I shivered. From the cold or my fear, I wasn't sure.

"Bella…" He pulled me into one of his trademark bone-crushing hugs and I felt myself shaking uncontrollably. "Bella, we're going to find her." This only made things worse. The thought of Jacob, Embry… even Sam encountering Victoria made me feel sicker then I already was.

"Wh-where's Sam-m?" I asked, my teeth chattering.



"Once he saw you were okay, he ran off to help them try to catch Victoria. The odds, though…" He sighed. "She keeps getting away! We're always so close, and then she just takes off. It never makes any sense." He shook his head. "We'll get her soon though," he promised.

I couldn't remember him picking me up or even carrying me to my truck, but when the roaring engine started I snapped out of my thoughts. I looked over to Jacob and saw his hands squeezing the steering wheel, his eyes shut tightly into slits. I placed my hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him in any way I could.

"Bella, why didn't you just stay at the house!" His harsh tone shocked me… hurt me. My throat swelled. Do you have any idea how close you just were to dying!?" I cringed, the pain coming now, waves of it. Overcoming my control. His name threatened to come up in my head, and I repressed it with all the strength I had left.

"I'm sorry," I croaked out, trying to stop my tears, only to produce more for my efforts. I was breaking down -- I'd never let myself do this, I'd always fought it. Tears here and there, yes, but never this. I felt the hole in me rip open, and I gasped inbetween sobs, vaguely aware of my legs curling up to my chest, a sad and lonely attempt to bring it back together. Jacob looked at me, horrified. I felt his hot arms wrap around me, embracing my shaking body. I screamed, pushing him away. It wasn't those arms I needed, not right now.

I knew that was a lie the second I thought it.

Of course I needed Jacob, I would always need Jacob. But I'd always needed Edward -- I screamed again, the hole revolting against his name. I now clung to Jacob, afraid to let him go, afraid that he'd leave me too.

Words came out of my mouth that I couldn't even recognize. All the repressed memories were hitting me, racing through my mind quickly but painfully, getting worse and worse as they went on.

I remembered the feeling of his lips, like cold, molding stone against mine, and the memory was so vivid that I could nearly feel them there. I stopped breathing, tightening my lips, trying to make the empty feeling on them disappear. It was so easy not to breathe, so easy that I found I could not bring myself to start again.

What was left of my world went black.