A month; it had been a month since Loki let go of Gungnir and fell to his death, plummeting into the empty space between the realms, his soul destined to never to reach Valhalla. A month of mourning; a month of falling asleep only because you exhausted yourself from crying day and night, a month of only eating because you were forced to by your maids and Frigga and three weeks after you noticed the ever so small changes in your body that are telltale signs of a life beginning to grow within you.

You had been Loki's betrothed for nearly half a decade, it was the norm when one's life spanned five thousand years to not rush into such things; but it was clear from the day you were introduced, Loki was smitten, and you adored every aspect of him, including his trickster traits. It was not long after you were moved to the palace, and after that, you went from mere suitors to all out lovers.

You had noticed that Loki was somewhat withdrawn before Thor's failed coronation, as though deep in thought, his eyes occasionally blanking out, before he would snap back to himself again, but you had thought it was because he was angered and heartbroken that after centuries of being told he and Thor were equals, with equal chances of being fit to rule, only for it to have never been, Odin had never had any intentions of letting Loki rule, that is what you thought had been the reason for his distance, and you tried to comfort him through it, as much as he would let you. After the failed coronation, he became reclusive, not even wanting to see you, when you forced your way into his rooms and went to touch him, he jumped back, as though terrified of your touch. He may as well have smacked you across the face, such was the hurt you felt at him recoiling from you; the words he spoke hitting you like acid, 'do not touch me', 'leave now' and agonisingly 'you would be best served finding a better suitor.'

You loved him with all of your heart, the idea of another man kissing you, touching you as only he ever had, caused your heart to ache, you did not want to leave, but you would always do what he asked willingly, even when it hurt you, and as you walked through the door, you turned to face him again, he was no longer looking at you, but the pain in his features seemed to have intensified as he held himself in his arms, and stared at the floor, as though distraught beyond tears.

"Sweetheart?" You had been sitting at a window, staring blankly at the world outside the palace until your focus honed on the now destroyed Bifrost site, the end of the bridge a jagged mess as a lone figure stood at the very end of it, Heimdall, the All-Seeing Guardian, watching the realms, ensuring calm remained after the previous chaos, set about by your betrothed and his idiot brother. In truth, you loved Thor, almost as a brother, but he was a tad idiotic. He was more intelligent than Loki gave him credit for, but he was also, on occasion, foolish, pig-headed, and thoughtless. Frigga came into view, but you did not turn to look at her. "You need to leave this room." Again, you did not react to her words. "Looking at it, it will not help you heal." There was an understanding in her voice, and you knew well why. Thor was Odin's son, favoured for his strength, being first born, and being his father's image, he shadowed his father, but Loki was most certainly Frigga's son, she showered him with the love and affection he needed, and as such, caused Loki's unfaltering adoration of her. "You have to try and move on."

A cold bark that could, by some, be accused of being a laugh, came out of you. "So that's it then, forget about him, pretend he never existed, pretend like I did not experience the last five years of my life, that I never…" you voice began to falter. "Why did he…?"

Frigga gave you a sympathetic smile, going over and embracing you lovingly, knowing how much you had meant to Loki, how much you truly loved her younger son, imperfections included. "There were things at play that you were not privy to my darling, things that you should know." Confused, you looked at her, looking for an explanation. It was then you were informed of everything, of Loki's true heritage, of what had occurred with Thor's banishment, and Loki sending the Destroyer after him, and of the battle the brothers had within the Bifrost, and most importantly, how Loki let go of Gungnir, how he chose not to let those who loved him save him.

Even greater pain consumed you with that knowledge. Frigga assumed Loki would think you repulsed by him were you to have known, in fact, it was something he had muttered without him realising it; that you could never know, you did not need to know you had been ruined by a monster.

"You will get through this darling, and over time, it will hurt less." Frigga soothed, stroking your hair.

"What about Odin?" You asked cautiously.

"He is not in a good place with regards Loki at present, he cannot believe what he did in his name, but he will see, in time, that Loki only did it to try and make him proud, as foolish as the course of action he chose was."

"But Thor did similar."

"Yes, but Thor…"

"Thor is my son, Loki was just some Jötnar runt." You both turned to see Odin standing not too far away. Pulling yourself together more, you tried not to let any sign of your condition show to anyone. "In truth, you should never have been involved in this, for that, I must apologise." The old king looked at you sympathetically. "We thought, by bringing him here, raising him as an Aesir, we could prevent him from being like the rest of them, we were wrong. Even a half Jötunn is still a Jötunn it would seem. It still cannot be accused of having civility, no matter the effort put in to try and counter it."

"Odin…" Frigga began.

"You loved him as only a mother could, yet he lied and schemed you Frigga, I know it hurts you my dear, but it is only the truth." Odin patted her shoulder. "As for you…" you looked at the king fearfully as he spoke to you. "To show how sorry I am for the trouble and inconvenience caused to you by this farce, I will ensure a highly advantageous match for you, and a large dowry for your time."

"That is not necessary Sire." You bowed.

"I insist." He smiled, a kind one, one you had never seen being given to Loki, only to those close to him that were not his supposed second son. "I would suggest Thor as a husband, only…Thor requires a wife that is more suitable as Allmother, and to be honest, it appears his interests lie with one woman already. And I mean no offence by that."

"I take none, your Majesty, I know myself I am not suited in demeanour to be the wife of the Allfather, I do not like such attention."

"I am glad you see my meaning young one." The king smiled. "I apologise again…"

"Please Allfather; I will not hear any more of it, I am grateful for all that has occurred in my life in my time here." You smiled, trying hard not to give any clue as to everything you were trying, with great difficulty, to hide, including your new contempt for the monarch, whom you were never overly fond of due to his treatment of your betrothed.

"Very good, I will take my leave again." The king nodded and made to leave.

"Is there a reason for your coming here?" He turned to face his wife. "Why is it you came in the first place?"

"I had come to inform our so…Loki's betrothed that she is a free woman once more, and to apologise for everything that occurred." He responded.

"I see." Frigga smiled, causing Odin to nod and turn to leave. When he was gone, she turned to you again. "I…"

"How do you pretend to him you are so alright with everything? Did you not love Loki as much…"

"I love Loki still, I will love him until the day I ascend to Valhalla, as my son, not as anything other than that. Who birthed him does not matter, all that does, is that I nursed him, cared for him, loved him as my own, and I always will see it as such."

"Nursed?"

"I gave birth to my second child when Jötunheim declared war on Midgard, he did not make it. Word got to Odin, and I assume he saw Loki, alone and scared on the citadel, he thought of the boy we lost, and thought that were we to take the infant in, none would question him, for I had not yet been due to announce my baby to the realm." The older woman explained.

"I am so sorry." You bit your lip at the thought of what Frigga had endured.

"Norn's I miss my boy." Frigga began to weep, scaring you slightly. "And now, you I will never get to see him start the life he wished for with you." You held the queen against you, feeling as though you were one of the only ones that truly knew how heartbroken she felt.

It was becoming obvious now, your stomach was growing rapidly, and very soon, the best gowns you had would not cover your protruding middle. Loki's child was growing well within you, and bar feeling ill a few mornings, and a few tricks the maids taught you in settling your queasiness, you took the pregnancy well.

Odin thought to partner you with Fandral, as Thor's only eligible friend, and due to his high standing in the army, the old King thought he was doing you a great service, so he hinted you to the blonde warrior, much to your dread.

In truth, you did not hold much against the warrior, he was a tad crass, but overall, a good man, but he had been one of Loki's tormentors in many aspects, and you thought it very dishonouring to your lost love to even consider another, for even an instant, though your heart would not have allowed it, even if your head had taken leave of its senses.

Frigga still walked around, heartbroken at the loss of her son, but she said nothing, not even to Thor, who seemed to spend more time in her company now, something the older queen was grateful for. She often seemed to seek you out when you were near one another, and she had seen no issue with you remaining in the palace for as long as you had seen fit.

But that would all have to come to an end now. The baby would become blatantly obvious soon, and since the new issues with Jötunheim, Odin had become even more adverse to the Frost giants and anything to do with them. Uttering constantly about them being crude and horrible beasts than none could think to see eye to eye with or accuse of being civilised. It terrified you, you thought of his words, and then to the child within you, who would, in no doubt, exhibit some Jötnar traits, but due to the King's hatred of the creatures, you were unsure as to what they would be, too scared to check with any with extensive knowledge, for fear that you would be met with disgust and ridicule.

When the day came that none of your dresses could hide your stomach, you stood in your rooms, staring at a mirror and began to hyperventilate. There was no hiding it now, in only three short months, you knew you would be lying in a bed, pushing your child into the world, or that is what you hoped, for every night, your mind reminded you of Odin's words, and of the hatred the man had for the father of your child and his kind. Your maid did all in her power to placate you, but there was little she could do. She thought you were terrified that you were to birth a child without being wed, the child to be forever known as the deceased prince's illegitimate heir, she had no inkling as to Loki's true heritage.

"Will I get Her Majesty?" Helena asked, brushing your hair.

"No, you cannot, she cannot know, none can." You replied frantically.

"Please, came yourself, it is not good for the child, Ma'am." The maid soothed.

"I do not know what to do." You began to lose your breath again.

"Please, tell her Majesty, she loves her son still. With him gone, she will do everything in the worlds for his heir, you know that."

Helena's words somehow made their way into your mind. "She would." You repeated confidently. "She will want to help."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"I need to talk to her." You rose to your feet and made for the door.

"Ma'am, you are not suitably dressed for one, and for a second matter, you will declare to the entire realm your current state were you to walk outside in that, you are very much showing."

Looking down at your now stretch mark marred stomach, you had to agree. Had you not been so sure of when the child was conceived, you could be convinced that you were further along. "Call her here; I had best make myself more presentable, and not shock her with it as soon as she comes in."

"Dare I ask how you plan to do that?" Helena asked sceptically, looking at your middle.

"I am not sure, but I have to at least try."

Frigga took enough time to get to your chambers that you had time to bathe and clean yourself, but sadly, you were still having a predicament as to what you could clothe yourself in. by the time she arrived, you were forced to get back into a clean nightdress, the only thing that held so little shape, your baby was not viewable under it, or at least, less visible, you were convinced there was still a small outline of your belly under it. "Darling, you called on me?" You heard the Allmother entering. "Why are you not dressed, it is nigh on midmorning?"

"I need your help." You exclaimed fearfully.

Frigga walked over to you immediately, noting the fear in your eyes. "Whatever it is darling, say it now, I will assist however I can."

"I…"

"Just say it, there is nothing to fear. Have you broken any laws?"

You shook your head. "Not exactly."

"I do not follow my dear."

"I broke something of an etiquette and unwritten law."

"What is it darling?"

"I…" you took a deep breath and stared at the ground. "I am…"

"Sweetheart." You looked at her again, to see her staring at your stomach. "Are you?"

"I'm so sorry, I didn't realise, not until he…we had not planned it."

"We, you and…" you nodded sadly. "That is…" she pointed to your stomach. "Loki?"

"Yes."

"My little boy, he has…"

"I'm sorry."

"No darling," She cupped your face in her hands. "Do not apologise for this, do not make it that his child is a mistake."

"It was not planned."

"The best things in life seldom are. Did he…"

"I only found out after."

"He never knew." Frigga looked at your stomach sadly. "Why did you not say anything?"

"I could not, after it all, after everything. The way the Allfather spoke of Loki after, and the Jötnar in general, about even part bred ones, I could not…"

"No, I understand." The queen smiled soothingly. "It will have to be dealt with today Darling, you are so big, have you been to a healer?" you shook your head. Frigga looked like she was about to scold you, but stopped herself. "Helena." She called, the maid coming over. "Get Eir here immediately, tell her only that it is for an expectant mother, nothing more."

"Yes, Allmother." The maid curtsied and left.

"Have you anything you can wear other than this?" You shook your head. "Alright, I will have Tanya go to the market and get something, you need some clothes. There is a small townhouse I am going to send you to, nothing fancy, nothing big, just a little home where you can prepare for your little one when it is time to birth, Eir will be brought to you, you will be alright."

"I am so frightened."

"I know sweetheart, I do not blame you, you have been so brave."

"I am sorry I did not tell you."

"I understand why you did not; you are acting as a new mother should, doing all you need to to protecting your child."

"It is all I have left of him."

Frigga gave her another sympathetic look. "I know."

"Allmother?" you turned to see the head healer standing in your doorway. "You called on me?"

"Eir, my friend, I need your confidence now." Frigga smiled, looking at the other woman.

"You know the rules by which I am bound." The healer smiled reassuringly, looking between you both. "What is required of me?"

"You recall Loki's betrothed?" she indicated to you.

The healer nodded as she looked at you. "I was told to check a woman with child."

"She is with child, Loki's child," Frigga explained.

"But Frigga, Loki is…" Eir looked at her friend.

"She is over half way."

Eir looked back at you as you looked at the floor, shame filling your features. "Well then, you should have come to me a long time ago young lady, were you going to wait until this little prince or princess was in the process of being birthed before you came to me?" She smiled, scolding you lightly, knowing from looking at you that you were in no fit state to be given out to.

"What?"

"Well this is Prince Loki's child, is that correct?" You nodded. "Then this little thing is, by virtue of its father's birthright, a royal itself."

"But it is illegitimate."

"Not entirely, not when you were publically betrothed," Frigga argued. "And I will ensure it is cared for and educated in a manner deserving of its station."

Your throat felt tight at her kindness. "I do not…"

"There is no need my darling, I have always been so fond of you, and you are carrying my grandchild, I could never abandon you both." Frigga smiled. "Now, let us get this underway."