What? Another fic with Steve and Bucky? Am I obsessed? Oh, no. I'm just...okay, yeah, I'm obsessed. But that's okay because...it's Steve and Bucky...which makes it okay. Well. Enjoy! P.S. I know there's different canons for their ages and so on and so forth [even within the movie-verse]...I'm going with the one where Bucky's a year older than Steve. I like that dynamic. Enjoy!

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Steven Rogers hadn't intended to get in a fight, he really hadn't. A few guys had started mocking and he'd just ignored it and kept walking, because what were words, right? But then they started mocking Bucky, and calling him trash and other more colorful words and it just wasn't in him to ignore that.

Which was how he ended up with a split lip, the beginnings of a black eye, an aching gut, and an ever-present irritation at the universe that saw fit to make him the type not to run from a fight, but unable to actually back it up. Maybe the universe thought every thing was balanced, since it had given Steve him.

"You a**holes think you're pretty tough? Three against one? How 'bout ya try those odds with me." At seventeen, Bucky could have passed for two years older at least. He was tall, with a shaped face and a sturdy body that woman found 'dreamy' and other men admired. In a word, he was the opposite of Steve. Just the sort of guy who would looked down on Steve, just the sort of guy he'd hate and be slightly envious of, except that for some weird reason, Bucky was Steve's lifelong best friend.

The men seemed a little nervous when Bucky came, but there were three of them and one of him. They thought that put the odds in their favor.

They thought wrong.

After Bucky had thoroughly trounced the men and sent them packing, he turned his attentions to Steve. At once, the admittedly intimidating, tough-guy became friendly and concerned, if a bit arrogant as he reached a hand to Steve to pull him up. "Jeez, Stevie. I go to the bathroom for five freaking minutes and you gotta start a fight." he clapped a hand on Steve's back to brush off the dirt, and Steve pulled away with a frown.

"They started it. I was finishing it."

"Kinda looked like they were finishin' you, pal." Bucky chuckled, a light tease.

Steve knew Bucky didn't mean anything by it, it was just how he was. He didn't realize how much that kind of thing hurt though. His best friend rubbing salt into the already open wound. "Maybe you need glasses." he muttered, and regretted it when he saw Bucky's eyes narrow in a mixture of concern and annoyance.

Bucky slid an arm around Steve's shoulder. "What's eatin' you? You weren't this grumpy earlier."

Earlier he hadn't gotten knocked around by a bunch of idiots and then scolded for it by the guy he'd gotten in the fight for in the first place.

Steve shrugged him off and forced himself to relax. It wasn't Bucky's fault he was...the way he was. He thought about his reply a moment, before he admitted at least part of the truth. "I guess it's just this time of year...it'll be the second without..." he trailed off, and Bucky's suddenly soft expression was a clear indicator that he'd understood.

Christmas was about a week away, and it would be the second without his mother. She'd died only about a month before Christmas the previous year, and Bucky had really gone out of his way to make it a good Christmas for Steve anyway. One of his best, in fact. But it didn't mean he didn't miss his mother, or that seeing all the happy folks with their families didn't make him a little bitter.

"Sorry, pal, didn't think of that." Bucky said softly, and Steve wanted to kick himself. He was giving Bucky attitude after he'd given him a hand, and Bucky was still just worried about him.

Steve willed himself to banish the fog of negativity that had settled on him over the past week and offered Bucky a smile. "It's okay...I've still got you, right?"

Bucky's grin was like the damned sunshine, it warmed him and burned him all at once. "You've always got me, Stevie. And we're gonna have us a time this Christmas." he assured Steve.

Steve's smile was genuine then, he just couldn't win against Bucky. "Looking forward to it, Buck." he clapped a hand on Bucky's arm.

Bucky's grin remained until his expression registered that he'd suddenly remembered something. "Oh, crap. I forgot what time it was, we gotta get you cleaned up."

Steve's smile slipped, because he had a feeling he knew where this was going. "Why's that?" he asked anyway.

"We've got us a double date. Twins." Bucky said the word almost reverently and Steve fought a sigh. Double dates with Bucky turned into Steve being the fourth wheel.

"I don't really-"

"-C'mon! Don't be a buzzkill, pal. This is just what ya need to cheer up! A little holiday...fun." Bucky said with a faintly lascivious grin.

"Bucky, they're there for you anyway...how about you just have fun without me?" Steve really wasn't in the mood.

Bucky's expression became slightly annoyed. "It's not just for me, they know it's a double date. But you gotta actually try talkin' to 'em, you can't clam up and expect 'em to fall all over ya."

And that was yet another of the sorts of things Bucky carelessly said that hurt him. He wasn't trying to be unkind. And in fact, it almost showed more of how much Bucky cared that he was mildly oblivious to the way others treated him when Bucky wasn't around. Bucky seemed to think that because he adored Steve, every one else would just fall in line. In the same vein, he seemed to expect Steve to get picked on, and for him to not get dates, but attributed it to poor social skills on Steve's part. "I do talk. And they ignore me. And then you end up with both girls and I'm the wallflower."

Bucky frowned. "You really are out of it tonight, aren'tcha? You know that's not how it is." he said dismissively.

Steve fought the urge to throttle Bucky. "Not tonight, Buck..." he tried to be gentle about, but he just wasn't going. End of story.

...

"I heard you beat up Robbie Latten...I wanna hear that story." gushed one of the girls, while her twin not-so-subtley stroked Bucky's arm.

Steve had ended up going. And just like he'd predicted, he was the fourth wheel despite his best attempts to smile, be friendly, and strike conversation. "I'm going to the bathroom." he said 'cheerfully'. The girls didn't pay him a glance, and Bucky gave him a distracted, "Yeah," as a reply. He shook his head to himself as he headed to the bathrooms.

He loved Bucky to death, he really did. They were family, as far as he was concerned. And despite the temptation to be jealous of him, Steve did a real good job of just focusing on how great Bucky was to him. But sometimes, he hated him a little bit, he couldn't help it. And he hated that he did, but... Bucky could be crueler in some ways than any of the guys that picked fights with him, just because he did it so carelessly. Because Bucky loved Steve, but he didn't believe in Steve. Being hated outright was almost easier to deal with.

But given the choice, he wouldn't change having Bucky in his life. Bucky was about the only good thing in his life anymore.

Steve took care of his business in the restroom, and started to head back out, only to find himself faced with a regrettably familiar face. One that still sported a bruise from where Bucky had decked him last week when he'd tried to bully Steve.

"Well, well, look what we got here." The boy sneered.

"Look, I'm really not in the mood tonight, could we maybe do this another time?" Steve tried to move past him, but he found himself shoved back.

"Oh, you're not in the mood? Too bad, cause I am. I'm gonna pay you back for last week, you little s***."

Steve internally sighed even as he brought his fists up defensively. "Last warning, walk away."

Needless to say, the boy didn't heed it.

Which was how he found himself being saved by Bucky for the second time that day. Bucky had apparently gotten concerned when he took so long to come back, and he'd found Steve inches away from a swirly when he'd yanked the boy back and put the fear of Bucky into him.

Bucky hauled Steve up by the arm, and it irritated Steve as it always did that Bucky had strength enough to move him around like a ragdoll. They were almost the same age, but who'd ever guess it?

"Y'know, if you're gonna pick a fight with every guy that looks at ya funny, could you at least wait until the date's over?" Bucky grumbled.

And Steve, who had been taut as it was, finally snapped. "Well, sorry, to interrupt your stupid date! I'll try to pick a more convenient time to have my head shoved in a toilet."

Bucky looked taken aback. "Settle down, what's got into you? I was just jokin', y'know I don't mind givin'ya a hand..."

"You're always joking, Bucky. That's the problem. Everything's just one big joke to you. And I'm usually the punchline." He could tell Bucky didn't get it and he shook his head as he pushed past and headed out.

"Hey! Steve, wait-" the door closed behind him as he headed out the front door with the intention of going home. But all too soon, he heard the doors swing out after him.

"Hey! Stop! Steve!"

Steve didn't stop, but it didn't take Bucky long to job up alongside of him and put a hand on his shoulder to force him to stop walking and face him.

"Look, whatever I did to piss you off...I'm sorry...but you gotta tell me what's wrong. It's more than your mom, somethin's bothering you. I know you, Steve. You can't hide it."

Steve wanted to laugh at the irony of it. He'd been hiding it for years. "You're fine, Bucky. I'm just...I'm not good company tonight, I tried to tell you that. I'll see ya tomorrow." he made to turn, but Bucky kept him in place with a firm hand.

"No, don't gimme that. What's wrong?"

"I said nothing. Let go."

Bucky lifted a brow and clamped a hand around one of Steve's wrists. "Not until you tell me what's wrong."

Steve may have looked like a child, but between them, it was Bucky who seemed inclined to act like one. "Bucky, please, I'm fine. It's just been a long week. A little sleep and I'll be golden. Let go."

"I'm not buying it. Tell me what's wrong." Bucky insisted, concern overruling much else.

Steve's frustration hit a pique again and he slammed his fist down on Bucky's arm as he tugged his own away. He knew he hadn't hurt the other much if at all, it was surprise mostly that got Bucky to release him. "How many times do I have to say it? There's nothing wrong!"

Bucky's concerned expression became annoyed. Bucky was hot-headed, and while Steve had a generous amount of leeway with him, Bucky had his limits. "What's your problem, Rogers? You've been biting my head off all night."

"You're my problem!" Steve snapped, and Bucky blinked before his eyes narrowed.

"That right? That's a real nice thing to say to the only friend you got." Bucky snapped back.

The words were a slap in the face and Bucky didn't even realize it. Steve laughed mirthlessly. "Yup, you're right. My only friend. I should fall in line like the rest of them and stop making a fuss, right?

"That's not-Steve...what are you...I don't wanna fight with you! I'm just trying to help!"

"That's just it, I don't want your help!" Steve snapped back, and the brief flash of hurt on Bucky's face nearly made him break down and apologize right then and there. But Steve's frustration and stress and too much time spent brooding about his mother and his future had left him on the edge and Bucky [as well as two beatings in the same day] had inadvertantly pushed him over.

"Well...fine then!" Bucky snapped back. "Do what you want! See if I give a damn!" he glared at Steve a moment before he turned on his heels and stalked back into the building.

Steve was all mixed up inside. A mixture of anger, and frustration, and sadness, and now warring guilt and regret. Bucky had only been worried about him, he knew that, he'd only been trying to help. He didn't mean to be callous. Steve didn't really want him to leave. And in fact, now that he thought about it, the idea of going back to his lonely little apartment was almost physically painful.

He looked back at the building and debated going after Bucky. He'd be forgiven in short order if he apologized, Bucky could never hold a grudge where he was concerned. But in the strange mood he was in, Bucky might just set him off again. Bucky's less charming quirks, which he could usually let slide, had grated on him and he didn't want to fight with Bucky again. Steve would get the sleep he'd mentioned and apologize the next day, and everything would be fine.

He still didn't feel quite like going back to his apartment though, and so he decided to take the long way back. The walk would do him good, and the crisp, December air would clear his head.

Shops were all aglow with Christmas lights, and the festive music hung in the air from different stalls and shops. There were even some carolers in the park. It made him nostalgic and sad all at once.

"Merry Christmas, Stevie." Bucky said, as he held Steve close the first Christmas after his mother had passed.

Steve had gripped him like a lifeline, grateful for the family he had left-for Bucky. "Merry Christmas, Buck."

Steve sighed heavily as his footsteps slowed, and the thought was enough to pierce the aforementioned negative fog. What was he doing? Why'd he let himself get so worked up over nothing? And brood about stupid things? Bucky didn't need his Christmas season messed up just because Steve had had a mid-teenage-life-crisis. He'd find him in the morning and set things straight. The memory of Bucky's hurt face was a bit of a punch in the gut. But the memory of his thoughtless words made him a little queasy.

"Look, sweetie, that's the North Star. If you make a wish during the Christmas season, Santa might grant it."

Steve glanced over at the mother and daughter who were pointing skywards, and he followed with his eyes to the North Star. A star that granted wishes in honor of Christmas. That would sure be nice. He thought of Bucky, his grin and his annoyance, his hand as he offered to help Steve up and his hurt face. And he thought of the pain in his lip where he'd cut it on a tooth being punched, thought of the way Bucky always had to come to his rescue, thought of the way hate slithered into his heart and made him feel like a terrible person.

"I wish I wasn't me." he muttered as he made his way back home.

The star overhead seemed to twinkle just a little brighter, but Steve's gaze was already on the road ahead.

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So...tired...ZzzZZz. XD Okay, so this wasn't like I planned. Well, sort of. Bucky saves an already emotionally stressed Steve, Steve gets grumpy and says things he doesn't really mean after Bucky drags him off to be a fourth wheel, makes an inadvertant wish. Chapter ends. Whee. But it's kinda all in Steve's voice and Steve is kinda being an emo. And as I analyze it, and his character, it's all reasonable, I think. But I wasn't expecting to write in that voice. XD I dunno if I like it or not, it's different from my usual style. If I do keep it up, Bucky will have his voice written out as well. And we'll see both characters' sides and feelings. But worst come to worst I could try to just rewrite the first chapter...X-x WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE THINK? Because I really don't know. I have good plans for this story, I just dunno if it's okay in this style, I suppose? ;-; Enjoy. But also opinions. Because...I just dunno. ;-; ~Witchy~