This is the LAST STORY!!! Time's flown by so fast!!! You should actually read the others in order before this one, as this can have spoilers, so if you'd like to do that now, by all means, DO SO!!! They are all on this account and happy molecule's account and are about all the members of the Fellowship, and Elrond… for some reason.

Enjoy!

*We don't own the characters. We own the depressing story we put them in.*

"fast-paced, weird, funny from two very deformed writers." – yummi-beans

"From a love triangle between two hobbits and a beer can, to a pair of eyeballs running loose, to a wizard and a half-elf fighting over porn, this twisted and twirled story certainly lives up to its title." – Michelle

"This series is highly immature and abusive." – Aaron/edgy wedgy

"It was very good…" – Cecilia

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The Party That Caused Devastation

Aragorn! That was the first thing Arwen's brain registered when she regained consciousness. He was doing CPR… to her! She grinned. YUMMY!!!

She enthusiastically wrapped her arms around Aragorn's neck and hugged him as tightly as she could. He hugged her back. Then he pulled away and looked at her confusedly.

"Why are you here?"

Uh-oh. "Umm…" she didn't have an explanation. She knew that Aragorn would have wanted her to stay with Pippin at home, but instead, she had run away! Aragorn would be angry! She couldn't tell him the truth. Instead –

"Why are you doing here?" She asked him.

Aragorn began laughing evilly. "That sounds so wrong!"

Arwen was pissed at his laughter. "Why are YOU doing here?"

Aragorn laughed harder. "That doesn't make sense!"

Arwen began crying hysterically. "All I wanted to know was why you're here!"

Aragorn pouted. "Aw, I'm sorry Arwen. Please don't cry. I was here to buy a present for you."

"Aw, now I feel really bad for running away from Pippin – " suddenly she realised what she just said. "Oh crap!"

"WHAT?!"

Arwen cowered as Aragorn looked menacingly at her. "WHAT did you say?" he asked.

"I, um… I…"

"You ran away from Pippin?" Aragorn demanded. Pippin, unnoticed until now, started nodding furiously. He had somehow tumbled out of the tank.

Arwen lowered her head. She now felt ashamed. "Yes," she said in a tiny voice.

"HOW DARE YOU DISOBEY MY ORDERS YOU FAT PIG!!!"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!"

"You heard me you stupid cow!"

"HOW CAN I BE A FAT PIG AND A STUPID COW?!"

Aragorn thought for a while. "Oh yeah. Good point."

They sat there for a minute or two. Pippin was still nodding furiously. Arwen wondered why he hadn't hyperventilated yet.

"So, um…" she said.

Suddenly Pippin jumped up and yelled, "Let's have a party!"

Aragorn and Arwen raised their eyebrows. There was an awkward silence.

"Oh, fine!" Pippin said. "I'll just have to spend this one million dollars on myself!"

"ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!!" Arwen and Aragorn exclaimed together. They both turn to Pippin, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Where'd you get THAT kind of money from, you stupid fat hobbit?" Aragorn asked.

Pippin put his hands on his hips. "I'm not stupid, that's Sam. I'm not fat either, that's Sam also."

Aragorn thought for a while. "Oh yeah. Good point."

"Well Aragorn paid me on million dollars to look after you, Arwen."

Aragorn blushed. "Oh yeah!"

"So let's have a party. We'll hold it at your house."

And so all three of them were happy. They walked back along Arwen's river of tears to the house and when they go there, Pippin when straight to the mantelpiece to look at his mushrooms.

Ding-dong! Went the doorbell. Arwen rushed to get it. She was incredibly excited about this party, as Aragorn had never let her have anyone in the house before. She opened the door.

"Legolas!" she cried. She was about to give him a hug, but she saw that his hair was tangled and matted. Oh dear, she thought, something must be wrong!

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Legolas' lower lip trembled. "They kicked me out! I've lost my job!"

"Oh no!" she hugged him tightly anyway and led him into the dungeon. The dungeon was cold and damp but Arwen clicked her fingers and a fire sprang up from the middle of nowhere.

"Now," she said to Legolas, sitting him down in a corner of the room, "I want you to tell me aaaall about your troubles…"

"Well, I refused to do Saruman's hair, because as you know, he NEVER conditions – "

"He doesn't?" said Arwen, shocked. "Th-that's terrible!"

"I KNOW!" said Legolas. "So anyways, they fired me. It was so terrible!" he began sobbing hysterically.

"Poor Legolas!" Arwen cried and hugged him extremely tightly. After a few seconds, she realised, to her horror, that Legolas smelt bad! It was disgusting! He absolutely reeked of fish. Suddenly, she remembered that he had turned into a fish earlier on.

"Er, Legolas," she started. "Aren't you supposed to be a fish? Didn't you get laughingus fishius?"

There was no response. Then she realised he wasn't breathing! She shrugged.

"Oh well. Shit happens." And with that, she walked away.

She walked out and locked the door behind her, thinking she heard Legolas' muffled "Hey!" from the dungeon but decided that was just her imagination. She went up the stairs to the living room, where lots of people were already congregated.

So and so were having an argument. Arwen realised that So #1 was Elrond and So #2 was Frodo. She was puzzled. Why were they arguing?

"You stole my eyebrows!" shouted Elrond.

"What eyebrows? You don't have any eyebrows! No eyebrows like YOU!"

"Yes they do!" and he burst into tears.

"Now, now," intervened Aragorn, stepping between the two of them. "Enough fighting! We're supposed to be enjoying this party."

Arwen didn't really care if Elrond was fighting with Frodo. But she knew Aragorn did because he was the one that stole the eyebrows. He looked around guiltily, as if looking for a chance to escape. His eyes landed on a chair, but because the chair was elvish, and therefore impossible small, they rolled off and landed with a splat on the floor.

"Eeew!" screamed Pippin. "Eyeballs!"

"Eeew!" screamed Merry, who was copying Pippin.

Aragorn grinned evilly, and Arwen was a little intimidated by what she saw as her beloved was sightless. Then he smiled at her and she forgot about her intimidation. She was about to remove his shirt when the doorbell rang again.

Reluctantly, she left her eyeball-less beloved and opened the door. Gandalf was standing there in a fluro pink micro-bikini, holding a box of porn. Arwen screamed and fainted, but immediately woke up again. Elrond rushed over and took the butterfly clip porn from Gandalf.

"Thank you SO much!" cried Elrond. "I've been looking for this!"

"Hey! That's mine!" Gandalf protested. He made a grab for the porn in Elrond's hands but Elrond was too quick for him. He ran down the hallway with Gandalf, half-naked, chasing after him.

Elrond, with his superior half-elven abilities, leapt over the roof and ran back into the fires from whence he came.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Aragorn wailed. "Elrond come back! Elwondie!!!"

Arwen started at him, flabber and gasted. Aragorn had now gone over to the fire and was wailing, rocking back and forth on his heels. Arwen stood up and in the living room, Pippin was attempting to kill Merry and Merry was attempting to kill himself too. Sam was bragging about his skinny-ness to Gimli, who had brought along his bird friend and Frodo, who was depressed, in a fridge-ish sort of way. She screamed.

And everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at her.

"I can't take this anymore!" she yelled.

"Hehehe…" said Pippin.

"Hehehe…" said Merry.

Pippin picked up Merry'slovethebeercan and made to crush it.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Merry cried.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!" Pippin cried and crushed the beer can.

Merry was inconsolable.

"HELLO!" yelled Arwen. "This about ME! Not some stupid beer can!"

Everyone started at her again, even Gimli's bird friend and the crushed Merry'slovethebeercan. Suddenly a voice said, "Arwen!" And riding in on his trusty steed was Boromir.

"Marry me Arwen! I shall listen to all of your troubles!"

"Of course I shall, my beloved!"

"Hey!" Aragorn interjected. "I thought I was your beloved!"

"You're Elrond's beloved," Arwen reminded him.

"Oh yeah!" Aragorn went back to his rocking and immediately lost ten kilograms. Now he resembled a stick.

Boromir climbed off his steed and walked over to Arwen and embraced her. She embraced him back and Aragorn started to howl as well as rock. He began to cry incessantly. Eru felt sorry for him and turned him into a rock. Aragorn became Middle Earth's only wailing rock.

"Oh dear…" said Boromir, not sounding sorry at all. He now had Arwen to himself. He cackled evilly and Arwen moved away from him.

"I, um… I changed my mind."

Boromir was shocked. "I thought you loved me!"

"Yeah, and I though Merry loved me until he found that empty beer can!" Pippin wailed. Merry, whose beer can had died, hugged Pippin.

"Pip, I still love you."

"That's so sweet!" Pippin cried.

"Get a room, you two!" Gimli cried. So they ran off and brought a room and lived happily ever after.

"So, Arwen," Gimli asked casually, "How are you going with getting rid of that 'tree'?"

Uh-oh. Aragorn must not know about this. Arwen tried to shut Gimli up.

"WHAT?!" Aragorn turned immediately back into a 'human'. "YOU GOT RID OF MY 'TREE'!!!" Aragorn wailed.

"Well it was getting festi!"

"I HATE YOU ARWEN!!!" screamed Aragorn.

Arwen put her face in her hands. Everything was going downhill. And it was getting worse too.

Boromir was angry at her too. "You dishonourable woman! How could you just get rid of your adopted 'tree' like that?"

"It clashed with my lounge chair!"

"So?! It was a 'tree'. A 'treeeeeeeee'!"

Aragorn wailed hysterically. Boromir hugged him. "Don't worry Ari, I'll buy you a new one."

"YAY!!!"

Arwen was shocked. "What about me?"

Boromir and Aragorn had their arms around each other. Arwen felt unimportant.

"What ABOUT you?" replied Boromir. "You're a traitor to your husband!"

"Yeah, you 'tree' killer!"

"But – but – Ari , I thought I was your beloved! Your one and only! The alpha to your omega!"

"Not anymore."

"What did you say?"

"Boromir looks after us now. We don't need you."

"What?!"

But Aragorn just stuck his tongue out at her and with that, he skipped away, arm in arm with Boromir into the rock wall.

Arwen sat, dizzy. Why was this happening to her? This party was a disaster. She had now lost everything that she had before – well, except her hair. Suddenly she felt a cool breeze blowing across her head. She reached up and felt – NOTHING!

HERHAIR WAS GONE!!!

She screamed.

Gollum ran in. "Arwen, baby, what's wrong?"

Normally Arwen would have vomited at the sight of Gollum, but that the moment she was too distressed.

"MY HAIR FELL OUT!!!"

"Don't worry dear. I'll show you how to comb it over so no-one will notice!"

Arwen took one look at Gollum's hair and immediately shot herself in the head. Everyone, no matter where in Middle Earth they were, cheered. Then they all got extremely drunk and lived happily ever after.

THE END

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We have now reached the grand finale of A Series of Random Events, I would just like to say a few words.

Me: Well, from bus trips to bowling places, this series has traveled with us far and wide. This will be our mark that we leave to the fanfiction community. And although we don't actually own anything at all, we would dearly love to have Aragorn.

Nic: Hello! Aragorn is a sexy sexy man. I don't look like Legolas! Deborah LIES!!!

We would both like to thank the readers and/or the reviewers, bad ass gangsta luva, Yvette, Aaron (who has a copy of the whole series), Shrek, The Matrix people, CHS Rowing regatta at Grafton and Bowling for giving us time to write and J.R.R. Tolkien – we couldn't have done it without him!

And if you haven't read the rest of the stories… DO THAT!!! Browse through my and Nic's accounts… strictly speaking, you really should have read them in order. There some sort of numbering system going up soon. And for now, THANKS FOR READING THE STORY!!! We love you!