"... We were going to divorce—"
To tell the truth, he was not sure how or when the feelings started to bloom. It just did.
Divorce. When he thought back on it, he was the one who first started to mention that word. Because in a way, it was like an insurance. That if things did not work out between them, they had that option available. Since he did not think that he could bear having to forcefully confine someone to his side for the rest of their lives against their will. Enough that his mother was in that situation. But things had changed a lot since that time.
He never thought those words he said recklessly in the past would haunt him back now.
He used to think that he liked Hyorin much more. They were similar; alike in a way and were caught in a similar situation. Because of the circumstances of their first meeting and their long friendship, he'd assume that what he had back then was love. But then, Chaegyeong came crashing into his life.
How did it start... he himself would have wanted to know. The two of them first met on a bad footing. Every time they saw each other they always argued. Normally you'd think such relationship would not go well.
But then he started liking it. Teasing her, arguing with her... he hated it though when she started to cry. Because he wouldn't know what to do to stop her from crying. He never argued with Hyorin. Never ever so heated. Somehow he wondered if that was what made it different. Between his feelings for Hyorin, and his feelings to Chaegyeong.
The signs were there all along. Like how he tend to want to incite an interaction with her, even if it lead to another argument. How he liked the fascination Chaegyeong had with his back, how he envied her lively spirit. How his body sometimes yearned to touch her, but his mind resisted saying that it would be improper. How he liked it when she touched him, despite his lips saying otherwise. How he hated to see Yool beside Chaegyeong, seeing her laughing and smiling so carelessly.
Amazing how his mind could work at a time like this. Even as he thought of all these things, his lips were rapidly trying to salvage the situation that Chaegyeong had recklessly started.
It was an unexpected, critical situation. Yet, it allowed him a chance to be able to speak out his feelings so openly. Because he himself was not without a fault. He had approached Hyorin thoughtlessly while giving Chaegyeong the impression that he never cared for her. Even after he realise that the person he truly was in love with is Chaegyeong, he never actually allowed her to know about his true feelings.
The truth. He didn't know how liberating it could be to be able to bare everything out, but he did. Now. To let everyone know the true circumstances of their marriage, to clear things up regarding the mess that he did. To tell her how he truthfully feels for her.
Yet, despite that...
His heart was really hurting.