A/N: Just something that demanded to be written when I should have been working on essays. Planning on a small three part series on Natalie Prior, on who she was before Tris ever knew her. This is her aptitude test and choosing ceremony, the second her first days in Abnegation and the final section on Tris and Caleb's choosing and her return to the Dauntless.

Divergent. The word sticks to my throat like a spoonful of molasses. Don't say it out loud, do not tell anyone. I never expected this. I never expected to be different. I knew I was different, not like my faction but not like this. Not wrong. And this feels wrong.

The examiner, a middle aged Abnegation woman, gives me a look of concern. I don't want her pity, but yet there's a softness about her that makes me want to cling to her and never let go.

"Natalie, I shouldn't tell you this, I can get into trouble, but I feel like it's for your best interest," she finally says, Emily, that's what she said her name was. Her plain clothes and neat hair is so different than anything that I have ever known. Could I be like her one day? The test results say I could be. Divergent. Abnegation and Dauntless. Do I stay with what I know, the world that I grew up in or do I join these simple people who do everything for others?

"I am not supposed to sway your decision, it is yours alone to make but I feel like you should know. You will be safe with us. No one will ever learn your secret, no one would even ask. I cannot say the same for Dauntless. Stay here as long as you need, I am sure you wouldn't want to go home with those red cheeks."

Red cheeks? I hadn't even realized that I had been crying. I rub some of the black makeup off my cheek, mascara and eyeliner that had run down my face as I learned my fate. I nod, trying my best to look brave for the woman could probably care less. My pride wants me to remain strong, but I push that aside and walk over to Emily and wrap my arms around her. "Thank you."

After a few minutes in Emily's arms I feel safe enough to leave the room and head home. I start to run knowing that a train is only minutes away and I will need to move fast in order to catch it. I push through a group of Erudites, who speak in low whispers about the science behind the test. They yell after me, telling me that I am just another reckless Dauntless. I turn back for a split second, catching the eye of an Erudite boy who looks distracted. I start running faster knowing that I am about to miss the train that will take me home. It will be another eighteen minutes for the next one, not a lifetime, but I need the chaos of The Pit to calm me.

As I approach the tracks I see the train in the distance I had missed it, and only by moments. I slow, sighing at the train in the distance.

Now I find myself alone with my thoughts, for the first time since I was in front of the mirror this morning. The Dauntless life is not one of solitude or of quiet, one of the things I have often disliked about the place, but now I crave it. I crave its chatter and laughter, it is better than being here alone with my mind.

Did I know this would happen? Did I know that I was different? For how long have I known?

I think of a day, years ago when we were just children playing at being like our fearless parents. Out in the schoolyard the children gather, almost always by faction and I found myself standing apart from the others. I watch as the group of Dauntless run over to the children of the Amity, the cheerful and positive children dressed in colors that reminded me of the sun.

I was getting a drink of water, I remember as I think about the moment, that's why I was away from everyone. Taylor, one of the boys from my year breaks through the crowd and approaches them, pushing the shoulder of one of the brightly dressed boys. I watch from a distance as the confrontation continues, Taylor urging the boy to fight back. The Amity boy was never going to fight back, it goes against their nature and Taylor knows that. He wants to show how tough he is, how fearless but I don't see bravery, I see a bully.

I run up as Taylor pushes the boy to the ground and I stand in between them. "Punch me," I yell in his face as the other dauntless children cheer him on. I look down at the boy I was protecting and the tears that stream down his face. The crowd in black pauses as they see what I have done, unsure of what will happen next.

"Get out of the way, Nat!" Taylor tells me.

"What did he do to you? Huh? What could this kid possibly have done to you?" I ask him, "If you want to hurt someone, hurt me. Wanna look tough, hit me!"

"What a stiff!" someone in the mass of black and silver yells out. The group laughs at the comment, which was meant to hurt me.

I take a deep breath and maintain my ground. "I'm braver than the rest of you combined, because I took the chance of getting hit to protect someone who didn't deserve it. If that doesn't make me Dauntless, I don't know what does."

A ten year old with a smart mouth, putting aside her own safety for someone she doesn't even know. Was it then that I knew something about me was different? Or was it not until later?

Zoe, one of my closest friends, runs up alongside me, a large smile on her face, snapping me out of my memory. "Nat, how'd it go? Was kinda creepy wasn't it?"

I just nod, pretending that everything was fine. Like my result was Dauntless, as I am sure hers was. We talk and laugh, before running after the next train, hopping on without a second thought. It was instinct now, jumping into a train. Tomorrow might be the last time that I jump on a train; I could walk away from this life forever… Tomorrow I could be Abnegation.

Walking into the Pit the excitement of the day has everyone up and about. I search through the crowd for Alexandra, my older sister, but can't find her among the younger Dauntless. I walk to the piercing parlor where she spends most of her time and walk in, taking in the scent of the disinfectant and metal.

The curtain to the back room slides open and Alex walks out, a friend of hers laughing at her side. "So that makes fourteen piercings in that ear?" she asks him with a grin.

"Hey, I'm just making sure you get all the practice you need so you can start your own place someday," he replies. He gives me a wave as he exits the shop, knowing the importance of the day I have ahead of me.

"What are you doing here, Nat? You should be at home, thinking or whatever."

"Don't want to think. About anything."

"That bad huh? I know it's kinda gruesome but you'll get over it. You're the strongest girl I know. And if I can make it through initiation, so can you. All you have to do is survive, finish the landscape in under an hour and you're in. And knowing you, you'll be the top of the board, leadership for sure, the apple of mom's eye as always."

I shake my head. Her confidence in me gives me hope; I can and will stay here. This is my home; this is my family. My loud and obnoxious and almost always out of control family. Being a full member of the Dauntless is what we all dream of as children. They are our mothers and our fathers, our protectors and one day we will be that for other children. But whenever I pictured my life after initiation I never considered what my role would be. I only knew that it was what was expected from me, never considering if it was what I wanted for myself.

"Come back here, I'll take your mind off it. What about another nose ring next to that hoop you have there? It'll make you look even more badass."

I smile and follow her, wondering what I would be doing if I was not Dauntless. What do the Amity do in the evenings? The Candor? I push the thought aside, knowing that there is no life for me except this one.

The piercing looks good, and barely hurt compared to some of the ones that I had allowed Alex to do. Dauntless children are allowed piercings at age 13, but have to wait to until after the choosing ceremony for their first tattoos. Just in case.

I walk home, avoiding my friends as I navigate the halls until I reach the apartment that I share with my mother. My father was a faction leader, he led the security force that monitored the factionless until one day he was stabbed on the street and left to die. He died a brave death, honoring our family and to the faction. My mother was still a leader, but what she did for us, I was never quite sure. She refused to talk about her work, telling me that it was something I could know eventually, not that it ever stopped my questions.

When I open the door my mother sits at the table, waiting. "Natalie, sit."

I do as she says, not accustomed to her stern face. This is the face she uses when she speaks in front of the faction, not the smile she wears at home. Sitting down I see there is a sheet of paper in front of her. My results. Something that she was never supposed to see.

"How did you get that?" I ask her, my voice shaking with fear. What would she do if she knew I was that unspeakable thing?

She shakes her head. "It doesn't matter. And to anyone other than me it wouldn't be noticed. Emily recoded the test well, you have straight Dauntless choices through the entirety of the exam."

I close my eyes, waiting for impact. Waiting for the moment she tells me to leave, that she can't stand the sight of her Divergent daughter.

"Leave, Natalie. Leave Dauntless," she tells me her voice low and labored. "I've known for awhile what your result would be, and I've done my best to help you remain Dauntless, but I've learned you can't fight a person's nature, Natty."

Natty. She hadn't called me that since I was a child. I can see the tears welling in her eyes, her body wanting to release the emotion but her brain holding her back. "It's not safe for you here. The newer leaders, the younger ones, are compiling evidence to eliminate divergence in the Dauntless. Says that it makes the person weak. What they don't understand is that it's also what makes us strong."

Us. My mother is Divergent and she wants to protect me. "I can't, this is the only thing I've ever known."

"You aren't safe here. They will take care of you, the Abnegation, they will take you as one of their own. In a year, I won't even be able to recognize you. You can have a life there, a family of your own, but you have to leave."

I nod. After what Emily and now my mother told me I am starting to see that the world is not safe for people like me, people like us. The best thing I can do is try to blend in, and there would be no easier place to do that than with the Stiffs. They were hospitable and selfless, lacking in the pride and recklessness that my faction was known for.

Standing up, I walk to the bedroom and lie down in bed, staring at the ceiling. I should be saying goodbye to my home, but something tells me that I will be here again someday. I picture my life away from these walls, from the people that I know and love. Would Zoe and Mark understand? Would Alex?

I fall into a fitful sleep, twitching and rolling through the night as I battle my thoughts. In the morning I wake to my sister holding up a black dress with cutouts made of black mesh. It's the dress I'd been eyeing for a few months now, unable to afford it. "Alex, you shouldn't have spent your money on me," I tell her, sounding like the Stiff that I was to become.

"Oh shut up and put the dress on! It's your big day, and by the end of the week you'll be so battered and bruised it will look awful on you."

"Thanks?" I say as I get up and grab the dress. Will she come to visit me next week? What will she think of what I have become? I put on the dress along with some fishnet tights and join my family at the table. Alex is chattering about her newest boyfriend, a guard on the wall. Mom is displeased, saying that her daughter deserves someone better than a guard. Everything is normal, it's just another day here.

"I gotta stop by my place before I go to work, but that dress looks killer on you sister. I'll be watching you at the ceremony today, so don't screw up and bleed all over the floor like that Amity kid did last year."

I laugh as she walks out the door but stop when I hear the door slam. Putting on a show for her was difficult enough, and knowing how much she spent on a dress that I will never get to wear after today was harder. "Pay her back for the dress, please? There should be enough on the dresser."

My mother nods. "Be brave today, Natty. Be very brave."

She stands and leaves the apartment; I'm sure to do last minute preparation for the new class of initiates that will be coming in this afternoon. Only she and I know that I will not be among them. The daughter of a leader leaving the faction is unheard of, treason at its greatest. This is the path that she wants for me, a life of simplicity and safety. But I am starting to wonder if it will even be worth it.

Lying about my result has already become second nature in less than twenty-four hours, wouldn't it just become easier with time? Once I make it through initiation I wouldn't have to worry, no one would dare point fingers at me once I was a member… but if what my mother said was true, that I was in danger if I stayed here, why wouldn't I leave? Because I was afraid? Maybe staying is the coward's choice, and leaving the fearless might just be the bravest thing of all.

School was canceled before the ceremonies so I run down to catch up with Zoe and Mark. We grab a bagel and chat about the initiation, what it's going to be like, how we are going to rank against each other.

"You'll come in first by the end, I just know it," Mark tells me with a playful shove. "You might not have the brawn, but you sure as hell have the brains for the second and third stages. Not that I won't try and beat you, of course."

I roll my eyes, pretending as though I care about how I would rank against my classmates. Looking down the table I see Taylor, his head in his hands, silent. We have never gotten along, he always hated me for calling him out for being a liar but I can see that he's troubled. As Mark and Zoe stand up, wanting to go by the tattoo parlor for ideas for later in the week I wave them off and sit down across from Taylor.

"What do you want Nat?" he asks me.

"You're switching, aren't you?" I state it as a question even though I already know the answer. He would never look that depressed if he was gearing up for Dauntless initiation. Everyone else seems thrilled at the prospect of learning more self defense and shooting weapons.

He nods. "Amity, can you believe it?" he laughs.

I know that he's referring to his incessant bullying of the bubbly people from Amity and I give him a knowing look. Once I thought about it though, I wasn't all that surprised. Everyone knew that his brothers knocked him around growing up, and a few times he even had to be sent to the hospital in the city. Aggression has shown it's ugly side to Taylor; it wasn't surprising that in the end he might choice peace.

"Abnegation."

"A stiff? Well, can't say I'm surprised really. Have you told anyone?"

I shake my head. "I think my mom figured it out though, you?"

He shakes his head. "Figured it best not to tell the family. Never know how they'd react."

I understand where he is coming from, and wonder where he'll be the next time I see him, if I ever do. The cafeteria continues to empty out as more people head out to the ceremony, into the central part of the city. Taylor and I shake hands as we part, knowing that the other will keep our secret.

I take one last walk around the floor of the pit, staring up at the sky above, and give it a silent goodbye. I see the masses of people working their way up to the platform and a wide grin takes over my face. I will miss the solidarity of the Dauntless, the way that they move together as a unit when they face a similar task. A single unit, yet each person unique, giving their personal flair to their body through their clothes and tattoos. Each one has a story displayed on their person for the world to see, whether it a blue Mohawk or a tattoo of a snake wrapping around their arm, each dauntless is proud of who they are. Pride is just one of the things I have to give up today. Running alongside my faction the weight of reality starts to set in. I am losing more than I ever thought to stay safe. All because I am divergent.

When the entire faction needs to catch a train, it's a sight to see. The families prepare themselves, throwing children on their shoulders or pushing their children to move faster in order to get the train. It's an act of teamwork as a group of men are the first to heist themselves into the moving train, their wives throwing children up to them before getting in themselves. Finally it's our turn, the teenagers and the younger Dauntless, the last to catch the train, and the most likely to miss it.

I see Alex by my side as we pump our legs pushing ourselves to leap into the final train car. As I hit the floor of the car I sigh in relief, and laugh. It would have been pretty amusing to miss my final train.

I stand next to my sister, half of my body outside the door of the train car as I watch the city get closer and closer and eventually go by. I will miss the feeling of the wind in my hair and the constant threat of falling out onto the pavement below. The stop approaches and the Dauntless prepare themselves for landing, gathering in formation at the doors for the most effective exit.

I am one of the first of my car to jump out, and I run forward in order to allow others to come behind me. Mark runs up to me and puts his arm around my waist. Just yesterday this action would have sent chills down my spine, but today it just reminds me of my betrayal. I loosen myself from his grip and make fun of him, diffusing the tension before we find the other sixteen-year-old Dauntless and together make a run towards the rest of our year.

As we slow I notice the same Erudite boy from the day before, and try my best to remember his name. He's clever, but not a show-off like the rest of his faction, making it harder for me to place him. He gives me a nod and I return the gesture with a confused look. I see him laugh and I wonder what could possibly be so humorous.

We pile as a group up the stairs and find our places. I barely hear the words the Amity leader is saying as I try and find my mother in the audience. She sits in the first row of Dauntless, along with the other leaders. She looks calm and collected, as always. Does she know that I still don't know which faction I am going to choose? They speak on the history of the factions, the core values, the things I have heard every year for as long as I can remember. Whenever I pictured this day I always saw myself choosing my faction, Dauntless. I never considered anything else.

The ceremony begins and my focus turns to the pillars ahead of me as each person stands in front and makes their decision. Most people are calm or even smiling as they place their hand above the faction they were born into. The first transfer, as always, gets a gasp from the crowd, and I am just glad that it wasn't me.

"Prior, Andrew." The boy who winked at me stands up and walks to the front, his expression like a stone. He removes his glasses and places them on the floor in front of the Erudite, an act that confuses everyone. Whispers start growing as everyone tries to figure out what he is trying to say.

I know what he's saying. He's saying that he doesn't believe in the Erudite. His fake glasses are just one of the many lies that surround the faction and he doesn't want to be a part of it anymore. He slices his hand and places it over Abnegation, the blood dripping on the grey stones.

He looks up at me again, and this time I am the one to wink.

"Foster, Natalie."

I take a deep breath as I hear my name and stand proud, straight and composed. I don't want anyone to think I doubted my decision. I slice my hand open and I walk over to Dauntless.

After a few seconds I place my hand over to the right of my body and let the blood fall into Abnegation. I look to the Dauntless and see their confusion and I give them a small smile. This is my act of defiance.

I am Natalie Foster and I am Divergent.